Deeper (4 page)

I set an example for them by taking off my shirt to get ready for drills. I ignore the catcalls that come every damn time I do it. At this point it just turns me off. I turn away from them to stretch with some privacy. A second later, more catcalls. I look up to see Rain coming towards us in her swimsuit. My stomach twists up. She has the weirdest effect on me.

Her hair is pulled back severely and her face is makeup free, but her guard swimsuit accentuates everything but her lifesaving abilities. My guess is the male guards will forgive her for being bossy by the time she hits the water.

Sure enough, silence and awe as she slips into the pool. I don’t know how anyone can be so beautiful and so irritating and so capable, but she is, and she ties me up in knots.

I decide right in that moment. I’m going to watch out for her whether she likes it or not. She’s not Camille, but I kind of like that about her.

She reaches up and someone tosses her a tube. But before she can speak again, Josh comes forward. He’s tall and built, with a shaved head and long scar running down one side from a boat accident. He’s the largest guard and my unofficial bouncer.

“You said you’d show us whatever we wanted,” he says.

“I did.” Rain turns up to him with an innocent smile.

Josh smiles back, but I can tell he’s about to give her a hard time. “Show us an escape.”

I frown. What the accident took from him in brain function, it seemed to add to him in muscle capacity. It’d be hard for anyone to do an escape with Josh.

“I’ll do it Josh.” I step in between them, cursing my own overprotective nature.

His face falls. “Why can’t she do it?”

Because you’re a freaking giant, I think
.
But before I can think of a real answer, she butts in.

“He’s right. A guard should be able to escape any victim. Any one of you girls may need to do a water escape some day on someone Josh’s size,” Rain says, motioning for him to join her in the water.

Josh nods, and I can tell he’s melting a little just because she’s agreeing with him over me. It rankles and I fold my arms uncomfortably.

She tells the others what to watch for, then gestures for him to grab her. I can barely watch this. He wraps his burly arms around her and goes down. It makes me a bit sick to watch him hold her under. I never use girls for demonstrations like this. Just watching it makes me uncomfortable. Maybe that makes me sexist. So what.

I watch them under the water, trying to make out what is happening in the blur. I try to keep calm. She isn’t going to die. Not like Camille. This is different. Now I know why I don’t do these drills with girls. Seeing her in trouble, not being able to do anything, it’s hard to keep the memories out. But I can’t look away. If she can’t do the maneuver, I need to be ready to rescue her.

Luckily, after a few seconds, she emerges a few feet away from Josh, who then grins and comes forward to give her a pat on the back that nearly knocks her over. She’s won over the giant. I let the air out of my lungs and rub the center of my chest.

She organizes the guards into pairs to run the drills and I jump into the pool. I grab her arm and pull her to the side. I like how easy it is to move her in the water, despite her height and bearing outside of it.

“I don’t like using girls for demonstrations,” I say.

“That’s sexist.” She runs her hands through her hair to comb it all back from her face. “Why?”

“I don’t like seeing them hurt.”

She shrugs. Like she shrugged off the warning about the guards at lunch. “Sometimes people get hurt. They could be guys or girls. If you have some sort of problem with seeing girls in those kinds of situations, maybe you should work on that.”

“You say you want to protect the guards. Well, during training it’s safer to let guys like Josh practice with other guys his size.”

“Is there anyone his size?” She quirks a perfect eyebrow at me and I can feel a nerve near my temple twitch.

“No. But that’s not the point.”

“Well…”

“Can we just not?” I say, thrusting my hands in my pockets. I look up, hoping my puppy dog eyes work on her. They’ve never failed before.

She grins at my attempt but shakes her head. “You can run drills how you want, as long as the guards are ready. I’m going to run mine equally to both genders.”

I frown. I don’t want to run drills separately. I want to follow her around and protect her. She’s making me feel like an idiot just because I don’t like seeing girls in trouble. What guy does? No guy I’d be friends with.

“Is something wrong?” She moves closer and studies me. Her eyes are yellow in the center, surrounded by gray-blue. “You were a bit off after lunch, and you’re looking a bit ill now.”

“No.” Yes, something’s wrong. She’s beautiful and she’s waking me up when all I’ve wanted for four years is to be asleep. I’m not sure I like it. But I’m not sure I dislike it either.

Knight has serious sexism issues. I don’t even know how he’s managed to work here for four years without a lawsuit.

I refused to do things his way and he’s brooding now, his dark brows are drawn together low over his gorgeous eyes and his lips are pressed into a tight line.

“What is it?” I ask. “Why can’t I just run trainings my way and you run them your way?”

“I think we should run trainings together.”

“Why?”

“Safer.”

I struggle not to roll my eyes. This guy is unbelievable. “For the last time Knight, no one here sees me that way. I’m safe on my own.”

“Hm.” He doesn’t look convinced, and just folds his arms slowly and takes a deep slow breath that he exhales.

“Although, if you want to help me, you can start by helping me learn names.”

“I can do that.” He puts his arms up on the edge of the pool and leans back beside me. “I mean, some of them are new this year to me as well, but I can do my best with the ones I know.”

I nod. “Thanks.”

“
If
you’re willing to work with me.”

I sigh, willing away the tension headache that dealing with him all day is starting to cause. “Fine. Now start with them.” I point to Amy, just to test him.

“Neil. And he’s paired with Amy.”

“You can’t just tell me names, you have to help me remember them.”

“You already know both of them. I saw you sitting with them.”

“Fine. And them?” I point to a pair of guys. One is tan with brown hair, and one is stocky with sandy blond hair.

“Ah, see now those two? They might give you trouble.”

“Why?”

“That’s Dan.” He points to the blond. “And that’s Mike.”

“So?”

“They’re kind of the playboys around here.”

“Irrelevant.”

“You’d like to think so, wouldn’t you?” He shakes his head. “Anyway, hold a strong boundary with those two. They hit on anything that moves.”

“Well, they are teenage boys. I’ll handle it.”

“I’d rather you let me handle it,” he mutters.

I ignore it. “And them?”

“The blonde little one is Jennifer, and the big guy, her boyfriend, is Brandon.”

I nod and then run over all of their names again in my head, trying to memorize them. Only a fraction of the names I need to learn.

I need a break from the names, so I decide to throw him off guard again. “So, who’s Camille? Do I look like her?”

The minute I say it, I wish I hadn’t. His easy camaraderie disappears, and he grows cold. Like he did before. I guess since he called me her name I feel like I have the right to know who she is. I’m not jealous or anything. That would just be stupid.

He exhales for a long time, and for a moment I think he’s just going to walk away, but instead, he looks at me with pleading eyes. Is it just all of the pool water around here that makes them look so intensely turquoise?

“I’m going to ask you, please don’t ask me about her again. I’m sorry for calling you her name. It was a slip up. That’s all.”

“Okay.” I feel like I’ve stepped over a line I couldn’t possibly have known was there, but I can’t help feeling guilty for it anyway. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

But it’s not, and now it feels like we’re yards apart even though I can feel his arm above me and his presence next to me in the cool, wet air.

“What drill should we run now?” I ask, stepping away toward the ladder.

He looks up, a bit surprised that I’ve handed over the reins. I meant it as a lifeline. He takes it. “I think we should start training in the lazy river.”

“Great. I’ll get the guards.”

“No. Train me first.”

“What?”

“I haven’t trained there. I’ve seen videos, but well, you know. Train me first.”

“But the guards.”

“Jennifer over there is the swim lessons sup. I trust her to watch things here. I’ll give her another drill she can give them to keep them busy.”

“Okay.”

The lazy river winds in a long figure eight around the slides and lap pool, carrying patrons on tubes in a slow journey across the park. I’m going into it with him. Alone.

For some reason it seems intimate and a little exciting, though I’ve done these drills so many times I can’t believe I am thinking of it that way. I can’t help but realize that soon, he’ll be touching me, and we’ll be alone. A little shiver runs over my shoulders as I jump into the river and I’m pretty sure it’s not just the cold.

He walks over and looks down, giving me an intimidating view of his legs, up to his narrow hips, then up to the wide spread of his shoulders. He jumps in, and the splash catches me in the face, effectively cooling me off.

“What do you want to train?” I ask. “Spinals or just regular saves?”

“Spinals. Just the stabilizing part.” He flops on his back. “Here, I’ll be the victim.”

Shoot. I’ll have to grab him. I just lectured him on not taking gender into account while training, so why is it so hard to forget that he’s a man while I’m thinking about grabbing him.

He mistakes my hesitation for disapproval. “You’re right, let’s do one face down first.” He turns over on his face and floats with the current. I wonder if he’ll stay there and drown if I don’t grab him. But unpleasant though it is, I’ll do my job.

I swim up to him, line my arms up, and do the spinal, rolling him over in my arms. He blinks water away and smiles up at me. I’m sure my face is going red. I can’t help but be close to him as both of my arms are pressed against him, my hands to his jaw and the back of his head, my arms to his sternum and back, a vice going right up his spine and between his pecs. In a rush to get out of this position, I take him with the current towards the stairs.

“Shouldn’t you turn me away from the current?”

“Too narrow. I need to get you to the exit area where we can turn without your spine getting in any awkward angles.”

He frowns. “Oh yeah.”

I get him to the steps, turn him, show him how to hold someone in the current while waiting for backboard, and then release him.

My hands cry in relief at not having to brace someone so big so tightly, and my heart cries in relief that I’m not touching him, face to face, heart pounding because he’s so close.

I put a hand up over my heart. It just felt weird. Of course it only felt weird. If it felt good that would make me weird. And I’m not that kind of weird. The memory of us making out in the waves rises to the front of my mind and I blush again. Maybe a little weird.

He taps my shoulder. “Your turn.”

“What?”

“Now I get to stabilize you.”

I try to keep my mouth from falling open, try to think of a good reason to turn him down. If he stabilizes me his arm will go straight from my jaw to my sternum, resting right between my breasts. I suddenly see the benefit of not using girls for demonstrations like this.

I’ve done the drills so many times I’ve gotten over the awkwardness of it, mostly. But thinking of him doing it, this guy I made out with, this guy who keeps trying to reject and protect me all at once, and I feel like that awkward girl doing the drill for the first time and worrying about her boobs.

“I’ll be gentle.” He grins.

I flush and I want to call him out for being a perv, but that would let on that I was thinking that way, so I shut my mouth and flop onto my stomach, waiting for him to ‘save’ me.

For a second, I think he’s going to leave me there to die. The next second, I’m in a vice on my back, looking up into his pleased, male face. He blinks and a droplet falls off his long lashes, trails down to his lips. I try to follow its path but can’t because I’m braced. Which makes me aware of where his hands are. Shoot. Suddenly it’s like fire where he’s touching. I take a deep breath and try to focus on looking unaffected. Just a touch. Just a firm, strong hold, on my face and right between my boobs. Just a hot, hot guy that I’ve made out with, holding me in a neck stabilizing position.

Lifeguarding has never been so hot. Or so awkward.

When we get to the steps I wriggle away. “You saw that part, you don’t need to do the rest.” I dunk under the water for a moment to cool off and get back to normal. When I come back up he’s laughing.

“You don’t like being splinted, do you?”

“No,” I say, worried he’s figured out that I was turned on.

“I guess I can see that. You’re kind of a control freak, you know that?”

I stare at him, nonplussed, and pull up a wayward strap that is slipping on my shoulder.

“I bet you’re the type that has to be on top in bed, too.”

My mouth falls open. He walks up the stairs out of the river, leaving me eye-level with a pair of really nice, tanned calves. I glare at them angrily, then up at him.

“Trying to look up my suit?”

I feel my face going red. Bastard. I stand and push him back into the river, though it’s not particularly safe because it’s shallow. I could care less if he broke his ankle right now. “I should sue you for sexual harassment,” I toss back at him before storming back to the guards. His laughter in the distance only rankles further.

I don’t understand him at all. I’m not sure I want to.

Damn, I liked my hands between her breasts. I really didn’t start out wanting to hit on her. I just wanted some time away from the guards, time learning something. Doing something other than staring. Staring isn’t enough distraction.