Defining Love: Volume 3 (Defining Love #3) (8 page)

We reached the table, and she tapped it with her hand. “Up,” she
said. “The night you and I were sitting here talking on these tables was when I
first started thinking about this one.”

I gulped but did as I was told and sat up on the table, my heart
still unable to believe I wasn’t dreaming. This night was actually happening.

“I wanna taste you,” my sweet Henri said as she stepped in
between my legs.

I stared at her, speechless. She couldn’t be saying what I
thought she was saying.

“So, I’ve never actually done this,” she said, looking up at me
as she pulled down the front waistband of my sweats, and I sprung out again,
more than ready for her. “But I’ve done some research, especially after I met
you. I guess I can admit now that after seeing you for the first time in your
firefighter sweats and getting a better glimpse of this outline, all the
impressive muscle under here”—she ran her hand over my chest—“and
other
parts, I started thinking about it. But after the night we spoke here and I got
an even closer look at certain parts, I couldn’t get the visual out of my head
of doing this.”

She leaned down and licked the shaft of my cock so slowly and
wickedly I would’ve never believed she hadn’t done this before. I felt the
strength begin to drain from my legs as her tongue licked the slit and dipped
in. Then she stopped and smiled up at me, licking her lips. “It tastes good
already.” She seemed surprised by that. “I wanna swallow.”

I groaned, letting my head fall back. I didn’t think any man
could have this kind of luck, least of all me. To have not just a girl so
boldly admitting she wanted to do this but one I was crazy about. If I thought
I was already losing control over Henri, this could be the end of life as I’d
known it. She just may kill what little sanity and control I had left.

Then she took me
all the way
in so deep I leaned back on
my hands, needing the support to keep the rest of my body from turning into one
limp noodle. Oh, yeah, I was a dead man.

Chapter 17

Henri

Just over a week after officially and very secretly
becoming Aaron’s girlfriend, things were still tense between Edi and me, though
we
had
finally addressed the issue again. A few things were working out.
Aaron had been right about not being able to get enough of being around the
person you were truly in love with. He was now the highlight of my
life,
and
while that absolutely terrified me, I couldn’t help feeling happy.

I could
not get
enough of him. When I wasn’t with or
around him, I was anxiously awaiting his calls or texts, and he was all I could
think of. The moment we were alone at his place we were all over each other.
We’d made love in just about every room of his house. My heart, body, and soul
were in heaven.

Yet at the same time, while my loyalty to Bea and Eileen had
proved to have nothing on my need to see and talk to Aaron the fateful night I
decided to show up at his place, it still ran very deep for Edi. I hadn’t told
Aaron because I knew he felt the sooner Mia and Edi got over us and moved on
the better. But when I’d spoken to Edi again about our situation and asked if
she was still upset with me, she said she wasn’t and admitted she was just as
much to blame.

“Believing you could change who you are for me was as naïve as my
parents believing it was just a phase I’d get over when I first came out to
them. It was wishful thinking.”

I’d been glad to hear her say it until she added, “But I’d be
just as naïve to believe that just because you’re
not
gay it will make
it easier to get over you. I’ve been in love with you for too long. I’d be
lying if I said a part of my broken but hopeful heart isn’t still praying
you’ll miss what we had those few months we were together as much as I do.
Hopefully, I won’t have to spend another night
wishing to God
you were
there next to me again.”

The conversation once again ended with both of us teary-eyed.
There was no way I could tell her about the blissful time I’d been spending
with Aaron and that my heart in that sense belonged to him unequivocally.
Sadly, it appeared that what Aaron had warned me I should prepare for just
might be inevitable. But like her, a selfish part of me was still holding out
hope her love for me would make her
want
to keep me in her life, even if
it could never be the way she wanted it.

In the meantime, the fact that Aaron had to be gone a few days
out of the week worked to my advantage. Even before anything had happened
between him and me, my willpower when it came to avoiding spending too much
time alone with him was weak at best. It was why I had ended up at his place
that night. My head had kept saying I shouldn’t ask him if what Bea had said
was true. If it was and he asked, I’d readily admit the truth that I was in
love with him and all bets would be off, which would only complicate my life
further. But, as usual, my heart had won out. I didn’t even give him a chance
to ask before I’d jumped in his arms and admitted how crazy I was about him.

So even though it’d only been a little over a week, if he didn’t
have to be gone a few days a week, I’d be with him every moment I could.
There’d be no way to hide what was going on between us from everybody. I now
planned on making sure all my days off from work were the days he had to report
to the station. Edi had no clue anyway what days I worked with him and what
days I didn’t. Seeing me home several evenings out of the week would seem
normal, especially since each day I’d hung out with him after everyone left,
I’d stayed later and later. If Aaron noticed I was switching the days I usually
came in around so much, I could tell him half the truth.

Thankfully, Bea had refrained from talking about the situation
between Mia and Aaron. She’d also begun seeing someone new, and apparently,
that served as a distraction because I often saw her giggling on the phone or
smiling a little too big when responding to someone’s text. I seriously doubted
Mia was up to silly banter yet.

Today we were packing up. Earlier this week, Aaron had taken us
all to see the new office slash warehouse we’d be working at from now on. It
was about eight blocks from my apartment, much closer than his house. I was
already planning to walk there the days Aaron couldn’t pick me up so as to not
bother Eileen or Bea. Edi and I hoofed it much further sometimes when running
errands.

“Why are there two trucks outside?” Bea asked as she entered. “We
really have that much to move?”

Aaron walked out of his office. “The second one must’ve just
gotten here,” he said, headed toward the front door. “It’s a delivery truck,
though they’re also picking stuff up.”

Bea and I exchanged blank stares. I had no idea what he was
having delivered. Aaron and I had been there a good hour, and he hadn’t
mentioned it. But then we hadn’t done a whole lot of talking since we knew Bea
would be getting there soon.

Remembering that, I looked down to make sure I hadn’t carelessly
left any buttons undone as I’d already done once earlier in the week. I’d gone
back to concentrating on boxing up everything in my desk until I heard Aaron’s
voice directing someone to take this and that.

Both Bea and I turned to see two guys navigating the hallway,
carrying furniture. Then I saw it. The mattresses in his bedroom were being
carried out as well.

“He got a new bed?” she asked.

I glanced at Bea. She still looked confused, and I pretended to
be just as confused by shrugging then continued with my packing. I did my best
to hide the excitement about this. Save for the fact that I still didn’t know
how things between Edi and me would end up, it was impossible for me to believe
this fairytale was actually happening to
me.

Just two days ago I admitted this to Aaron, minus the part about
Edi of course. We’d just gotten done fulfilling yet another one of my
fantasies. This one completely naked in the hot tub out in his back yard after
everyone had left for the evening. I had mentioned how it might be
awkward—uncomfortable—to spend so much time and be intimate in a house where I
knew my boyfriend had lived with another woman.

The fact that he’d been with her so long yet never moved her in
was just dumb luck for me. One of my foster moms used to say, “
Men make
houses. Women make homes
.” She had explained to my sister and me that,
while her husband was the one who ultimately paid for the house we all lived
in, the woman was always the one who provided the things that made it a home:
from the decorations to the smell of Mom’s cooking throughout, even the neatly
folded stacks of fresh smelling laundry all over the front room or her bed on
laundry day. It stuck with me because it rang true in every foster home we’d
been placed in before and after that. It would’ve definitely been weird making
love to him in a house I knew Mia had made a home—
their
home. That made
Bea’s sarcastic comments about Aaron’s house being so
un
-homey
ironically satisfying.

Of course, being the brilliant man Aaron was, he immediately
picked up on how much it bothered me. I hadn’t realized I’d been so obvious
about it.

“Is that why every time I suggest we go into my bedroom you come
up with another place we can
fulfill
a fantasy of yours instead?”

Once again, he’d rendered me speechless. I had no choice but to
admit it. I knew Mia had never actually lived in his home, but I wasn’t naïve
enough to think she’d never spent the night there or that there might even
still be things in there that were hers. It’d only been a little over a week
since he’d broken up with her. I’d since found a bottle of nail polish in one
of his kitchen drawers and a pair of earrings. I was certain there were plenty
more things to be found in that massive master bedroom and its equally massive
master bathroom. I didn’t even want to think about how I’d feel having him do
things to me in the same bed where I was certain he’d made love to her
many
times
.

I should’ve known when he quizzed me later that same evening on
his way to drop me off about wood stains colors. He’d even casually asked if
I’d preferred the dark cherry wood like the desk in his office or the lighter
weathered oak like his kitchen cabinets. He’d said he wanted a new desk for the
new office we’d be moving to.

It never dawned on me why else he would be asking until I watched
as the delivery men carry in a brand new fancy dark cherry wood bed frame—my
preference—into his bedroom. The matching furniture pieces followed.
Apparently, he’d redone his entire bedroom, complete with brand new mattresses.

“Didn’t you just buy that other bedroom set when you moved into
this house?” Bea asked as Aaron walked back into the back room.

“Yeah, but I never really liked it,” he said as we exchanged
knowing smirks.

I went back to packing when I noticed Bea had caught our
exchanged glance.

“As soon as you two are done,” Aaron said, “let me know, and
we’ll get those desks and your boxes onto the truck then head out to the new
place and start unpacking.”

“I can only do this until three,” Bea reminded him. “Myles and I
have to be in Kalamazoo by six, and we don’t want to get stuck in rush-hour
traffic.”

“Kalamazoo?” Aaron asked curiously. “What are you going out there
for?”

“NASCAR race,” Bea said but quickly added, “not for the race
itself. His younger sister plays in a band, and they’ll be playing on one of
the stages there.”

“Is this the guy Mom says doesn’t approve of you smoking?” Aaron
asked with a pleased smirk. “I thought I noticed you cutting down.”

Bea rolled her eyes and I couldn’t help but chuckle. Aaron had
been just a little too satisfied when he told me what his mom had said about
Bea’s new boyfriend.

“Yes,
Aaron,”
she said, tossing a few more things into her
box. “But he’s not the reason I cut down. I’d started to even before we became
a thing.”

“Well, whatever the reason,” Aaron said, starting towards his
office, “I’m glad you are, Bea. Don’t know how many times I have to say it.
Smoking kills.” He turned his attention to me. “When they’re done putting the
new bedroom set together, come check it out and tell me what you think.” My
heart started to speed up at his obviousness until he turned to Bea and added.
“You girls can tell me if I did well with the color I picked for the wood
finish.”

I nodded but didn’t comment. It wasn’t until he’d stepped out of
the room that Bea brought up Mia for the first time since the day she’d
confronted me to ask if anything had happened between Aaron and me in
Milwaukee.

“I wonder if that’s his way of symbolically removing any part of
Mia left in this place. Not that she’d ever felt like this place was hers.” She
sighed, shaking her head. “I was really hoping this was just like the last
time. He’d try to stay amicable and eventually he’d come to his senses and get
back with her. Mia
did
say he told her he still wanted to remain friends
with her.”

“It’s only been two weeks,” I offered, not sure how else to
respond to that.

She shook her head again, looking a little too miserable. “This
time it’s different,” she explained. “Last time he actually did try to stay
friendly with her, even calling her or texting often to ask how she’d been. I
thought for sure, especially with her cousin’s wedding still coming up where
he’s the best man and she’s the maid of honor and they’ll have to spend time
together, he’d do the same. Stay in touch. Not only has he not called or texted
her once since the breakup, she told me the other day she’d just noticed he’d
unfriended and stopped following her on the only social media sites he’s active
on. Then today she said that he canceled on that dinner they’d planned weeks
ago with the bride and groom to discuss what can and cannot be mentioned in
their toasts because Mia’s cousin is being so anal about it. Instead, he took
Luke, the groom, out yesterday for lunch
alone
to give him the gist of
his toast. It’s like he’s really trying to make it a point and make sure
there’s no lingering hope for her to cling to that there might still be a
chance for them. It just makes me so sad. I don’t even know what to tell her
anymore.”

I stared at her. This time I had no words of even minimal
encouragement. While I knew, as his new girlfriend, I should be glad to hear
all this—he truly had no doubts about his breaking up with Mia, someone he had
so much history with—it was clear to me that this wasn’t all for Mia’s sake.
While I’m sure it was also for whoever else in his or her family might still be
holding out hope—he was sending me a message as well.

He was setting the example.

“Yeah,” I said, mimicking Bea’s hopeless expression. “I wouldn’t
know what to tell her either.”

Bea chewed the end of her pen pensively. “The wedding
is
a
few weeks away still. Maybe once he sees her after not having seen her all this
time, and especially since I’m sure she’ll look beautiful, it’ll spark
something in him. Snap him out of this
stupidity
.”

Feeling a slight jealous heat spark in me, I kept my expression
blank but said nothing. Bea knew all too well that Aaron had admitted to being
in love with
me
. Aaron told me she’d since questioned him about it. Once
again, just as with Mia, he hadn’t denied it but, out of respect for my wishes,
didn’t tell her about us and insisted that was not the reason he’d broken up
with Mia. It could be I was just being overly sensitive, but the
stupidity
she spoke of was, in her opinion, his grossly
misguided
belief that he
was actually in love with me. Further proof that this transition was going to
be harder than Aaron was expecting it to be.