Defining Love: Volume 3 (Defining Love #3) (3 page)

Was there any truth to Mia’s claim that I was infatuated with
Henrietta? I could take the easy way out. Tell Henrietta that I could
understand why Mia might feel insecure but assure her as professionally as I
could that it
wasn’t
true. Or I could be honest—admit that from day one
I’d been beyond impressed by her fortitude and positive mind-set despite all
she’d been through. Tell her that, after being witness to all her other endearing
personality traits coupled with her undeniable good looks, I’d be lying if I
said I wasn’t attracted to her. I could assure her that I respected her as an
employee and the fact that she was in a relationship. That despite everything I
might be feeling I’d continue to conduct myself around her with the utmost
professionalism as ever.

It’d be a risk. But all bullshitting aside, given how incapable
I’d been at hiding my feelings for her so far—so much so that after a single
conversation Mia had witnessed between us she’d nailed it—Henrietta very likely
already knew how I felt. Yet she was still here with me and was talking as if
she weren’t going anywhere.

As much as I was trying not to get my hopes up, it was impossible
not to. But it was one of those decisions I knew I’d wait until the last minute
to make. I could only hope now it wouldn’t be one I’d regret.

Chapter 13

Henri

My conversation with Edi when I got back to my room was
a sad confirmation of how things would never go back to being as they once were
when we were just best friends.

It started off fine with her gushing about her new niece. She’d
gone on and on, and I let her, preferring she talked rather than saying too
much about how my day had gone. Then suddenly she gasped. “Oh, my God, babe,
I’m sorry I haven’t even asked you how the trade show went.”

My first thoughts should’ve been to assure her that it was fine.
A new baby in the family was far more exciting than a boring safety trade show.
Instead, I worried about who might be within hearing distance. She’d mentioned
earlier that Gemma had stopped by with homemade baked goods and muffins. I
still hadn’t told Gemma about Edi and me.

But I didn’t ask. I started to tell her about my presentations.
It was one of our normal conversations where, like her with the baby, I began
getting excited. I gushed about the adrenaline rush, what Aaron had said about
my performance, and how already he mentioned on our way back to the hotel that
there was an even bigger show in a few weeks in New York!

Instead of sounding excited for me as she would’ve back when she
was just my bestie, she was noticeably quiet. The idea of me going away with
Aaron again so soon was not an exciting one for her. For a moment, I actually
felt resentful. She
should
be excited for me, but I got it. This wasn’t
any different from how Mia was feeling about this.

“You still there?”

I tried not to sound annoyed that, after I’d aahed wistfully with
her about all the things she gushed about, she wasn’t even going to comment on
how well my presentation had gone. I understood why she might not be thrilled
about me already planning another trip with Aaron, but she knew how nervous and
excited I was about the presentation.

“Yeah,” she said, nowhere near as excited as she’d been earlier.
“That’s great, Henri. I knew you’d be good. You’ve always been good at that
stuff. Sounds like you really enjoyed it.”

“I did,” I admitted, but my own excitement had deflated.

“What’s wrong,” she asked, suddenly sounding a little chipper as
if maybe she’d caught herself.

“Nothing.” I, too, did my best to hide my annoyance with her
reaction. “I think I’m just tired. It’s been a long day.”

“You
did
toss and turn a lot last night.”

I was quiet for a moment. She’d noticed. Had she mentioned it
because she was making it a point that she knew I had a lot going on in my
head—the only time she knew I didn’t sleep like a rock.

“I’m like a little kid, I guess,” I said with a soft laugh. “I
never get much sleep when I have something big going on the next day. This was
also the first time I’ve ever been on a plane, remember? I was nervous about
that too.”

Her laugh was as unconvincing as mine. We spoke a bit more with
her asking me about first class and Milwaukee, and then finally she asked, “So,
are you going to bed now or . . .?”

The question felt heavy with unspoken qualms. Aaron had asked if
I was too tired to do dinner when we got out of the car tonight. He also
offered to order us a pizza or room service if I didn’t feel up to going out,
which meant he was suggesting we could eat together in one of our rooms. I’d
told him I’d let him know in a bit then called Edi as soon as I was in my room.

I hadn’t decided, so, technically, I wouldn’t be lying. “I
haven’t had dinner yet, but I’m not sure if I’m up to leaving or just ordering
room service.”

“Room service is expensive,” she said, not missing a beat.

“It’d be on Aaron.” Not a lie. “He said I could order and charge
it to the room.” Technically not a lie. “It’s all a write-off anyway.” So I
embellished for the sake of making it sound more genuine? The statement was still
true.

Normally, we would’ve done something silly—playful—like her
asking me to read her the menu so she could help me decide what to order while
we giggled the whole time. Given my modest upbringing, I probably wouldn’t know
what half of the more posh dishes on the menu were, and we’d probably have a
giggle fest when I’d grossly mispronounced them.

Instead, we spoke a little more about her niece. She tried to
keep it light, saying she was already planning to coach her niece’s little
league soccer and volleyball teams. While on the surface it felt normal, something
felt of off-kilter. I tried not to over think it or I knew I’d start to choke
up.

When I was finally off the phone with her, I saw I had a text
from Aaron.

Let me know what you decided about dinner. If you’d
rather just order your own room service and call it a night, that’s cool too.
Just charge it to the room.

That made me smile. I hadn’t totally lied to Edi. Aaron hadn’t mentioned
a thing about me charging it to the room earlier. In a small way, already I
knew him well enough to know he’d not just offer to let me charge my dinner to
my room, he’d insist I do.

I was so close to responding that I’d just order myself something
and was going to head to bed early. I really was exhausted, and it felt like
the safe thing to do. Even though I knew Aaron would be a perfect gentleman and
I had nothing to worry about in that sense, telling Edi about my day with him
today and that I’d be doing this again soon had been awkward enough. I was
certain mentioning I’d spent time in his room or he’d spent time in mine would
not go over well. But the excitement of the day’s happenings crept up on me
again or maybe it was just the need to rid myself of the lingering unease from
my phone call with Edi. Whatever the reason, before I could talk myself out of
it, I texted Aaron back.

Sorry, I was on the phone, but I am hungry, only I’m not
really feeling much for going out to dinner. I’ve already changed into my
lounging sleep clothes. I wouldn’t mind splitting a pizza or room service
though.

I sent it and waited nervously. This wasn’t any different from
when he ordered food at work and we’d practice my presentation together or
discuss our progress with the EPG long after everyone had left. Aaron was the
most professional guy I’d ever met. Just because this was a hotel room we were
hanging out in didn’t make it wrong.

His response took a minute, but it was short, simple, and
innocent.

Sounds good. Come on over. We can order from my room.
I’ll let you choose whatever you feel like splitting.

He followed up with another text to give me his room number and
to say he was starving but no rush then added a winky face. I smiled, feeling
the familiar flutter in my stomach that seemed to always be there now.

Grabbing my room key and the box of cheese Ritz Bits I’d packed,
I stopped at the full-length mirror before leaving. The dark purple yoga pants
and matching zip top were far from glamorous, and I was glad about that. No one
could accuse me of trying to get done up to spend the evening with Aaron. I’d
even put my hair up in a clip and rinsed my makeup off while I’d been talking
to Edi. Though the entire outfit
was
formfitting and Edi always said I
looked hot in it when I wore it around the house to study, it
wasn’t
why
I’d packed it. It was comfortable and one of my favorites to lounge around in.
I really had slept in it on occasion.

Without another thought, I walked out and made my way down the
hall to his room. The door to his room was propped open with the latch, so I
knocked softly before pushing it open. He was on his phone and still in his
dress pants and long-sleeved shirt, though he’d taken the tie off and
unbuttoned his shirt. His cufflinks were off as were his shoes. The way he
surveyed me for a moment with such a genuinely sweet smile made me sigh. He
shook his head quickly as if he’d just remembered he had someone on the phone
then lifted a finger for me to give him a second.

“There’s
a lot
we need to discuss, Mia, but I think it
should wait until I get home,” he said in a lowered voice, and I immediately
regretted being there. “Because I don’t wanna do this over the phone.”

Even if he whispered, the room simply wasn’t big enough for me
not to hear. I stood there awkwardly waiting as my mind waffled between
thoughts. Maybe I could say I forgot something and creep back out. Had he
really called her, knowing I was on my way to his room? I prayed he’d have the
sense not to mention I was there listening while he was having an obviously
tense conversation with her.

He motioned for me to take a seat in the small sitting area like
the one in my room. Then he pointed at a few menus sitting on the table, and I
let out a grateful sigh that I had something to pretend was keeping me too busy
to listen to his conversation.

“I can’t right now. I’m in the middle of something,” he said as
my stomach knotted up further.

Please don’t tell her I’m here in your room and that you’re
blowing her off for me!

“We’ll talk tomorrow night when—”

I glanced up to see him pinching the rim of his nose then
smirking strangely and putting his phone down on the table. He shook his head
as he walked over to the kitchen area. “Should’ve gone with my first instinct
and not answered that,” he said. “Sorry about that.”

“I take it things are still tense,” I said with a sympathetic
grimace.

“
Very
tense,” he said, opening up the honor bar on the
counter. “She hung up on me. I’m gonna have some wine. I need it. Would you
like some?”

“I’m sorry to hear it,” I said, glancing back at the menu. “And,
sure, I’ll take a glass”

As genuinely as I felt bad for him, because he sounded so
defeated, I felt evil about the butterflies starting to  flutter in my stomach.
Was it really possible that Mia, someone who probably knew him better than
anyone else, really believed what I’d begun to pick up on from Aaron for weeks
now? That, like me, he was feeling something he was desperately trying to
deny—even to himself?

What the very thought did to me was why I agreed to the glass of
wine. I needed something to calm my conflicting emotions. On the one hand,
saying I was flattered that such an amazing man like Aaron would have feelings
for
me
was the biggest understatement in the history of understatements.
He was a man I’d once thought so unattainable my attraction to him was as
threatening to my relationship with Edi as any attraction I might have to a
celebrity. It was laughable even. Not only was he . . . well,
Aaron,
my
friend’s older, incredibly sexy, put-together, and wonderful-in-so-many-ways
brother, he was also very taken.

On the other hand, I could tell myself there was nothing wrong
with me being here with him until I was blue in the face. But the truth was we
both knew exactly why things were so bad between him and Mia. And just as he
probably had no intention of telling her he was having dinner with me
in his
room
, I already knew I wouldn’t be telling Edi about this either.

That was beyond wrong.

Aaron walked back holding two glasses and two mini wine bottles,
the kind I saw some people drinking on the plane. He sat down on the chair
across from me and poured the two mini bottles into the glasses then handed one
to me.

“I brought these,” I said, pointing at the box of Ritz Bits.
“They’re my favorite, and you said you were starving, so I thought they might
hold you over.”

He reached for the box curiously and examined it. “Crackers with
cheese in the middle.” He smiled at me as he began to open it. “This will go
perfect with my wine. Thanks.”

I smiled triumphantly as if I’d really done something remarkable.
“You’re welcome.”

“Did you decide what you want?” he asked as he stuck a cracker in
his mouth.

“The deep dish pizza from this restaurant sounds good,” I said,
pointing at the picture on the menu.

“Sounds good to me.” He reached for the room phone. “Go ahead and
order it. I’m gonna order a bottle of wine from room service. These little
bottles aren’t gonna cut it.”

I sipped my wine before dialing the restaurant. When we were both
off the phone, he sat back in his chair, taking a sip of his wine and smiled.
“You look comfortable.”

I glanced down at my clothes and shrugged. “I am. This is one of
my go-to outfits at home. I’ll probably sleep in it tonight.”

His smile waned a bit as his thoughts seemed to move onto something
else then he took a deep breath. “I’m breaking things off with Mia when I get
back.”

I stared at him, stunned. I knew things were bad, but they were
engaged
.
Together for so long. He must’ve read my mind because he continued.

“I know Bea told you what Mia’s thinking about me having feelings
for you, but I want you to know that’s not why I’m breaking things off with
her.”

I gulped, still staring at him, unable to think of a single
response to that. It wasn’t an admission, but at the same time it wasn’t a
denial.

“It’s been a long time coming,” he explained as he took another
sip of his wine, prompting me to take another—longer one—of mine. “I never
should’ve gotten back together with her in the first place. I did for the wrong
reasons and that wasn’t fair to her.”

“But do you think she knew?” I asked, immediately thinking of Edi
and me. “I mean she had to know something was different. Something wasn’t
right. She probably knows you better than anyone else does. Wouldn’t she
feel
it?”

He shrugged. “Maybe, but whether she did or not is a moot point.
Bottom line is
I
knew. I’ve always known, even before I broke up with
her the first time. Mia’s a great girl. She’s been a good girlfriend and an
even better friend. But it’s not enough. As much as I love her, and I do, she’s
not
the
one. And you know what they say about hope, right? No matter how
frail, it’s hard to kill. She was probably hoping all this time that whatever
it was she was worried about wasn’t that serious or that I’d get over it. Hell,
I
hoped for a long time too. Mostly because I was afraid.”