Facing Fear (21 page)

“We found the files in your system. That’s why you need an attorney, Agent Harden.”

“Let’s cut to the chase,” Rick said. “What’s the deal you have to offer?”

They always had a deal. They did the last time.
Take the offer we give you and the agency will take care of everything else. We will do our best to extract your wife but we need your cooperation or the news media would dig things up that might jeopardize operations.

Across the big conference table, the EYES representative leaned forward. He was a big man, easily six-foot-four, with snow-white hair. Rick had never seen him before, but he was obviously the one given the power to negotiate. He looked at the man’s badge.

“I have looked through your file, Agent Harden. You have been through a similar leakage investigation before. It’s going to look bad, what with that bad rap from the last time. How is it going to look now, with the leaks that have been
found to be coming out of Task Force Two all these years, with you at the helm? Now that Denise Lorens is dead, and listening to this tape you gave, it can be seen as your motive to shut her up after she threatened you.”

“Wait,” Nikki cut in. Something in her voice made Rick look at her closely. “How did you get to that conclusion with my tape? It was very clear that Miss Lorens was attempting to blackmail and entrap Agent Harden.”

“She isn’t here to give her side of the story.”

“I’m sorry she’s dead but that doesn’t change the fact that she clearly overstepped her role as an EYES operative and that she had been a double agent for years,” Nikki said levelly.

Lips pursed tightly, the man straightened in his seat. “Nothing has exonerated Agent Harden. There is a list found in one of his computers and we have no other list. He has a history of information leakage. One of my best operatives is dead and he has the motive. And, we have matching fingerprints. I’m sure we’ll also find matching carpet fibers.”

“You heard Agent Harden saying no to her offer at the end of the tape. You heard her fighting him after that. That’s the reason for those fingerprints and fibers.” It was the admiral this time, his voice filled with disgust. “You’re telling me you still won’t go beyond covering your own asses.”

“Jack,” one of the congressmen chipped in. “We have to see how to save the situation here. We can’t have the whole agency come tumbling down on account of one man. Agent Harden isn’t indispensable.”

“I was hoping you wouldn’t do this,” Admiral Madison responded, his blue eyes blazing. “Gentlemen, it’s not Agent Harden who is stinking up the whole United States covert organization—it’s Gorman and the rest of the traitors in his network. I’m telling you, I won’t tolerate a cover-up.”

Rick had to admit that the admiral was intimidating when he chose to be. He cut an authoritative figure in his stark uniform with those shiny medals. Very few men could meet those piercing eyes and not be the first to look away. Rick was glad he was on his side here.

“Jack, let’s hear Mr. Stadler out. Internal Investigations should have the final say.”

“Not if they aren’t doing their job. Not if there are lives at stake, and I assure you, the more you allow these infiltrators in the system, the more you put my men out there at risk. You’re not using the Intel gathered by Task Force Two to make friends here.”

“Look, Gorman is in our hands. He won’t be making problems.”

Admiral Madison’s chair creaked in protest as he swung sharply around. “Problems? Mr. Stadler, my dead men aren’t problems.”

“They are collateral damage.” Stadler wasn’t backing down, staring back at the admiral. “You’re a man of action, and I understand that, but the big picture is what matters here. If we don’t have a quick scapegoat, the media will eat this one alive. A whole list? They would devour the president, and you’re a friend of his, aren’t you, Admiral Madison? He doesn’t need this as a reelection issue.”

“Don’t threaten me, Mr. Stadler.”

“Your opening an independent committee on national security is a threat to Internal Investigations as well as every agency, Admiral Madison. If you would back off, I. I. will clean house without the publicity and the president won’t be embarrassed by it. Right now, we have a whole can of worms with the reappearance of Leah Harden. Do you think publicizing the list won’t bring up that particular operation and why it failed?”

“Exactly. I, for one, am very interested in that particular operation and why it failed. All these redacted copies tell me nothing.” The admiral sank back into his seat, his eyes narrowing into slits. “You know, Stadler, besides this fear of my independent committee, you’re making me more and more curious about this operation with Nikki Taylor—Leah Harden—ten years ago. There wasn’t a…cover-up of this case, too, was there?”

As he sat there listening to the heated exchange, Rick noted that Stadler’s face turned interestingly bland. “There is
a procedure to open these files, Admiral Madison,” Stadler said coldly. “It takes time to check out everything that Miss Taylor had claimed. We’re an investigative branch and cannot simply let any individual come in with a story without any proof. The fact that she hadn’t done a thing for ten years makes things…difficult. I suggest you go to the attorney general, state your case, and get the file reopened. Miss Taylor will have to undergo a routine interrogation and debriefing, as well as psychiatric examination. As an EYES officer, I would also recommend hypnosis and other tests, perhaps a truth serum. We can then find out more about what exactly happened to her after her capture and her subsequent extraction by COS commandos. I understand access to the Covert Subversive Center is almost impossible, and that their commandos are a law to themselves. As you can see, a thorough investigation will take some time.

Rick had heard enough. What Stadler said was the bureaucratic red tape with which he was familiar, the best delay tactic in the world. It would give I.I. enough time to get its story straight, and mount a cover-up campaign.

“No one is taking my wife into interrogation. No one is giving her hypnosis or any truth serum,” he interrupted softly, his gaze on Stadler. “I’ll listen to your offer and consider it.”

Stadler’s smile was knowing, as if he had expected this. He opened his folder and took out some papers, followed by several pens. He turned them so the writing faced Rick.

“EYES will take care of everything. All you need to do is sign here. We will work out a deal with Gorman. You’ll retain legal counsel, who will then advise you not to say anything during this whole investigation. In the end, you’ll be reprimanded and be given another position. Or you can retire, which is highly recommended. In return, you won’t be tied with Denise Lorens’s death. There will some kind of released statement to exonerate you.”

“What about her murderer?” Rick asked.

Stadler looked across the table. “That won’t be your business any longer.”

“And the people who worked with Gorman?”

“We will get them, but the press needn’t know when we do. Once the Gorman situation dies down, of course. Meanwhile, you again helped the department to stave off scandal, saving the president from embarrassment. TIARA won’t be subjected to any funding cuts for another year and—”

“And our overseas covert operations won’t be jeopardized. I’ll have saved countless lives,” Rick ended woodenly. They must all memorize the same spiel in EYES school.

He had spent all this time trying to retrieve his wife’s remains. Trying to find proof that she was innocent. But she was alive now and Gorman was in jail. Ending this now would mean another black mark against him. His career would basically be finished. So what?

Rick picked up the pen. Sign it and he could sign away the past.

“No.” Nikki placed a hand on his elbow. “Rick, I want to know what happened.”

His lips straightened into a grim line. “What is there to know? I can tell you right now what’s classified. It says in there that I disclosed information due to negligence. Ten years ago, I.I. believed that could be the main factor that caused your operation to fail. I accepted the blame, took my punishment. The demotion was appropriate.”

Take the deal, Harden. Investigating this will take months and months, and who knows what will happen to your wife while they are assigning blame? With you reprimanded, we can concentrate on the operatives’ lives, which is the most important thing, right?

Nikki’s hand tightened on his arm. She glanced around the table and made eye contact with Admiral Madison. “I’ve read the unredacted version.”

There was a muffled curse. A snort of disbelief. Sounds of consternation from a few of those present.

“How—”

“Do you mean to say you read what would normally take months—”

“Our copies were redacted, so who—”

“That’s why you need an independent contractor like me, gentleman. I don’t let your red tape stand in my way.”

Rick didn’t know whether to be amused or shocked. A roomful of bureaucrats against a GEM operative was quite an experience. That the operative happened to be his wife made him cautious and proud all at once. One thing stood out. She said she had read his file without the blacked-out details. Then she saw that everything he had just said was true, that he was solely to blame, so why bring it up now?

“Now about this deal,” Nikki said, after she had gotten their attention.

The change from wife to operative intrigued him, too. There was a subtle narrowing in her dark eyes, a challenging edge to her voice. The slow smile she directed at them all raised his blood pressure. He must be nuts. His career was going down the tubes and he was getting aroused because his woman was working. How many sides of her were there?

“No one seems interested in what I want, and I’m the dead woman in that file causing all these problems. A talking dead woman would interest the press, too, don’t you think?”

“Good job, Nikki. I’ll talk to you later,” Admiral Madison said. Save for Rick, he was the last one to leave. Hand on the doorknob, he turned to her very quiet husband before walking out of the conference room, “You’re damn lucky to have her back, Harden.”

Rick didn’t reply, merely watched everyone leave. Nikki turned. And started backing away. He stalked her in measured steps across the room and as she reached the entrance, he leaned a hand over her head, effectively halting her escape. He moved in. She flattened against the big oak door, forcing herself to look up defiantly.

She was a little mad at herself. He had this effect on her that no one had. Powerful. Dominating. It drove her weak when she should be strong. She lifted her chin higher.

Rick’s green eyes glittered like gems, and she had the absurd feeling that he wasn’t angry with her for foiling his
plans. There was so much unresolved between them and she didn’t know where to start to break down the wall he had erected. She felt the hand above her head slide down the wooden door till it stopped next to her ear, and he leaned even closer. His fresh masculine scent teased her senses.

“You didn’t tell me you read the unredacted version of my file.”

She stared at his sensuous lips that could cause such havoc to her entire being. “You didn’t ask.”

“Remind me to make a list.”

“Things happened so fast, Rick.” Her heartbeat jumped when the hand moved and wrapped around her neck. He stroked her pulse with his thumb as he leaned even closer.

“Were you ever going to tell me?” His lips were a mere breath away from hers. “Maybe after the review board? As that EYES rep put it just now, you’re jeopardizing your assignment by revealing yourself to the world. Now you can’t be fair and unbiased, can you?”

Tell him. Tell the world. She knew he wanted all the answers. “I can’t have them sacrifice you,” she whispered.

“Why not?” he countered softly, his breath brushing her lips like a kiss.

“Because you’re my husband.”

“How much do you know, Nikki? How much are you still hiding from me?” He searched her face for answers. “Why did you finally come back?”

There was anguish in his voice, and Nikki could only stare back helplessly at him.

“Damn it, answer me!”

“It was time to face my past,” she told him, trying to put into words all her fears and longing. “I couldn’t before. Every time I tried, my mind drew a blank, and it hurt, and even though I knew the facts, nothing added up.”

Rick pushed off the door, turning his back to her as he walked back to the conference table. “Ten years, Nikki. You left me here thinking you were dead.” He picked up the papers left by the EYES representatives, shuffling them slowly. He seemed weary as he gathered them under his arm.

“I couldn’t help it,” Nikki said, wrapping her arms around her. “For a long time, after my extraction, I wasn’t sure who I was. I stayed where I was, with my rescuers, because they made me feel safe. The new agency fit me perfectly—people working undercover, with new identities, but it took a long time before I even thought about having one. I was a mess—everything was jumbled and the only focus I had was what was inside me.” She pointed to her chest, and added, “Do you understand? I could only trust what I had in my mind because I wasn’t sure whether what was out there was real. What if you haven’t seen green grass for an eternity and you find yourself staring at a tree or a blade of grass until someone stops you? You realize you’re totally unable to function, that you will have to start somewhere or be nothing. I couldn’t remember you, Rick. Is that what this is all about? You can’t forgive me because I’m not her, not the wife who left you.”

He turned to face her, the deep green of his eyes reminding her of those days when she couldn’t understand why she was so drawn to that color, why she needed to keep looking at it to find an answer. She understood now. She had been trying to find him in her head.

“Come here.” There was a brooding dark edge to his voice.

Nikki shook her head. “No.”

“Why?” he asked, as he retraced his steps back toward her. “Are you afraid how every time I touch you, I keep proving you’re still her? Are you afraid to remember how you were?”

He stopped a few feet away, giving her room to move aside if she wished, but he had her cornered, and he knew it. She was here because she wanted to remember. Yet a part of her was fighting it, reluctant to let go of what she was now.