Female Ejaculation (22 page)

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Authors: Somraj Pokras

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A very comforting variation of the holding stroke is to cup the vulva with your hand. This works best when the giver is lying by the receiver’s side, resting a palm on her clitoris and mons.
Holding is essential when the energy becomes almost too extreme to tolerate, such as just after an orgasm.
Did you try the holding stroke on your other hand? If not, play with it now for a moment before continuing.
CIRCLING
Stop your in-and-out motion, and move your entire finger from side to side in a crescent-shaped motion like a windshield wiper motion. If you pull out slightly at one side and push in at the other, you’ll be
circling
.
Try both clockwise and counter-clockwise directions to see if one feels better. You can circle with more than one finger for continuous contact on more sensitive tissues. Of course, the fuller the vagina gets, the harder this becomes. Another variation is to make circles with just your fingertips or finger pads. Once the G-spot is engorged, this is a great technique to increase stimulation.
Adding pressure and speed to circling can create wonderful sensations. As with all of these strokes, try them out on your own hand first.
COME-HITHER
Many women really like fingertip pressure on their swollen G-spot, especially behind the public bone. That’s why so many lovers talk about the come-hither stroke. In actuality, it’s a modified in-and-out stroke. Since it needs to go deep, for most givers, the come-hither stroke is easiest with the longest finger — the second.
To begin the come-hither stroke, the giver uses the second finger to slowly penetrate the receiver’s vagina as far as possible with the palm facing toward the top of the vagina. At the top of the “in,” curl the finger around behind the pubic bone. Keep that finger curled during the “out” so that it drags across the deepest part of the G-spot erogenous zone. That’s one come-hither stroke.
As with the other strokes, add fingers when she’s ready. Just imagine what a wide spectrum of awesome sensations you can create by increasing pressure, speed, and surprise starts and stops.
EXERCISE:
STROKES DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
What are the four basic strokes?
Do you have any questions, doubts, or anxieties before actually beginning the practice of G-spot Massage?
Are you ready to go for it?
PRACTICING THE FOUR BASIC STROKES
START WITH SOLO PRACTICE
A woman can try the four basic strokes alone as well. The truth is that once you master your G-spot solo, you can teach your partner what you’ve learned about yourself.
Another way to learn about the G-spot is by exploring another’s. Yes, we know this may sound strange, but it’s an option for those who feel comfortable with it. If you have enjoyed intimate sexual play with another woman or you’re willing to experiment (all in the interests of scientific discovery, of course), doing the practices in this chapter with another woman will offer you much learning.
No, we’re not encouraging you to become bisexual or a lesbian unless you are already. We just know that familiarity with the territory is essential to fully opening your sexual channels. We don’t judge people for their conscious, pleasure-seeking choices.
So, if you have a close girlfriend who is open-minded, you could consider buying her a copy of this book. You might be surprised at your friend’s willingness to play doctor with you.
PRACTICE:
SOLO G-SPOT STROKES
Instead of approaching self-exploration in a clinical, detached way, we recommend you honor yourself in a sensual way. You’re about to discover divine secrets hidden for too long.
 
You’ve already searched for your G-spot area. If not, do the Solo G-spot Discovery Practice first, or incorporate it into the following steps. If you can’t make any position work quite right, skip to the sex toys practice that follows.
 
You do realize that your only aim here is to feel pleasure, right? Ejaculation isn’t the goal just yet. Expecting mind-blowing fireworks every time is not your purpose. Remember, if you feel any physical strain, emotional tension, or strong resistance, only go as far as is comfortable, take a break, and relax.
1.
PREPARE WITH THE FIVE S’S
Supplies, Showering, Setting, Stretching, and Settling. Arrange yourself in front of a mirror for this solo practice if you can.
2.
STIMULATING
Caress your whole body sensuously, with oil if you want. Begin without focusing on the most erogenous zones.
3.
IN-AND-OUT AND HOLDING
Using one finger, begin the in-and-out stroke slowly and gently, gradually going deeper. Each time you penetrate a little further, stop and hold until you’re ready to continue. If you pay careful attention, you’ll know to move on when you sense you’re relaxed or feel stronger sensations. As your G-spot swells, explore its center, sides, gutters, and tail. Experiment with two or more fingers to see what you prefer.
4.
CIRCLING
After you’ve reached as deeply inside your vagina as you can with in-and-out strokes and holding, begin circling. Try windshield wipers first, then circles near the opening, and then, go deeper. Experiment with small and larger circles until you can tell what’s best for you.
5.
COME-HITHER
Now, practice the come-hither stroke. Try different finger bends, depths, and angles. Try shallow, deep, short, and long strokes. Use one, two, or more fingers. See what feels best.
6.
ENJOY
If you’re getting turned on and still comfortable, continue, and enjoy yourself without agenda. We urge you not to press harder and speed up yet. Simply appreciate the long, slow sensual excitement you’re creating. But if you want to go for it after enough subtle stimulation, don’t hesitate. Celebrate any new highs, peaks, and orgasms you give yourself. And if you reach that pinnacle of ejaculation, you have reason to shout hurray! But keep reading because there’s more to learn about how to repeat and intensify your experiences.
7.
CLOSING
When you decide to end your session, relax gradually, and slow down your down. We really like the energy connection of one hand on your vulva and one hand on your heart at this point. Reflect on what you discovered and what felt best.
AFTERTHOUGHTS
You may want to repeat this practice many times. If you find you can only feel pleasure up to a point, let that be okay. Come back repeatedly to self-pleasuring, and you may well discover your inhibitions and negative energies dissipating all by themselves. The next thing you know, you may surprise yourself with a gush of liquid.
ADDING SEX TOYS TO YOUR REPERTOIRE
As we’ve mentioned, sex toys help many women learn more easily about their G-spots. A simulated penis, a specially curved wand, or a vibrator may accelerate the awakening of this most powerful orgasmic trigger.
If you don’t own an appropriate sex toy, you might worry about how to acquire one with minimal embarrassment. Here are some ideas:
Maybe you have a friend who’s sexually open who could advise you what to buy and where.
You could visit one of the new breed of women-friendly adult stores. You can talk openly there to experienced women about your unique and private wants.
Use the Internet. There are several stores, and you can order items discreetly.
USING SEX TOYS TO FIND AND PLAY WITH YOUR G-SPOT
When you choose a dildo, choose one that’s long enough to reach your G-spot area. Some are designed with a bend to reach behind your pubic bone. Some are flexible, and you can bend them into just the right come-hither angle. Some come with vibrators as well. Bear in mind that the thickest dildos may be more difficult to angle toward your G-spot.
Today, you can find sex toys in all colors and materials. Be sure they’re washable and that you give them a good scrubbing with soap before and after each use. The soft ones that simulate skin feel the most natural. Just be sure you don’t get one with an absorbent surface. If you do, you’ll need to use a fresh condom for each use to prevent bacteria from seeping into the material.

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