Fifty Shades of BDSM Trilogy (8 page)

As I walked into Liam's living room, I sighed
softly, wrapping my arms around myself while I looked at the quaint
country ambiance. Everything about it reminded me of home, from the
western landscape paintings, to the smell of leather. It was calmly
familiar, and for the first time since I left for New York, I felt
truly at peace.

“Can I make you something to drink?” Liam
offered, always the gentleman.

“No, thank you. I think I'd like to go to
bed. I've had enough excitement for one night.”

“Alright. You know your way around. Just make
yourself at home. I'm going to stay up for a while longer. I have a
case I need to do some research on.”

“I'm sorry, Liam. I didn't mean to drag you
away from work just to come get me.” I avoided his eyes, suddenly
feeling guilty.

“You didn't drag me away from work. I got off
at five o'clock. Your flight didn't get in until eight. Stop
bothering yourself with such nonsense. You know you come before
everything in my life anyway.” He smiled warmly at me, and I
swooned silently at his words. Why couldn't Jack be more like Liam?
Oh, Jack was charming and handsome, but he didn't love me—didn't
know me well enough to love me. And he hadn't cared enough to get
to know me.

As I stood there and looked at Liam, I
realized everything I had taken for granted. I had wanted a man who
was into the finer things in life, exotic cars, exquisite fashion,
and buying me expensive gifts. Wasn't that what most girls wanted?
But when it came down to it, all that I needed was standing right
in front of me. Good, simple, sweet Liam.

“Goodnight,” I whispered, glancing shyly into
his silvery eyes.

“Good night, love.”

A stupid grin creased the corners of my lips
as I turned from him, enjoying the flood of romantic feelings that
captivated my heart from being in his presence.

As I passed by Liam's bedroom, a devious
thought crossed my mind. I had pressed my boundaries to new levels
today, and Jack didn't seem to care if other men touched me. Quiet,
like a church mouse, I scurried to the guest bedroom to change into
my pajamas. Then, just as stealthily, I crept into Liam's room,
crawling under the covers.

I moaned softly as I inhaled his pillow. How
I had missed that scent. Clean yet masculine at the same time. The
familiarity of it was enough to carry me off to sleep faster than I
had been able to fall asleep in a long time.

The next morning, I opened my eyes to the
sunlight shining through the windows. For a moment, my mind was
tricked into thinking that I was late for class at the BDSM school,
but when I tried to rise, something was holding me in place, and I
looked down to see a strong arm wrapped around me. That's when I
remembered that I was in Liam's bed . . . and so was Liam.

My cheeks burned as I flattened myself on the
bed, fearful that I might wake him. I wasn't sure what time it was,
but it was bright enough to indicate that he was late for work.
Briefly, I wondered if I should wake Liam, but then selfishly
settled on staying nestled in the comfort of his arms instead. It
felt so good to be there again, like I belonged in his arms—in his
bed.

It was a shameful thought though, and I
realized that in my moment of insanity the previous day, I had made
a big mistake. Not only had I jeopardized my marriage to Jack by
running away, but I was also messing up my relationship with Liam
by deciding to sleep in his bed. Knowing Liam, he would think the
situation to be more than it actually was. I had just been trying
to escape, not to betray Jack.

Was it really a betrayal though? I was still
so confused. For once, a good night's sleep hadn't done much to
clear up my head. If I analyzed the situation in chronological
order, it went something like this. I flew to New York to meet
Jack. Jack appeared to be wonderful, but then surprised me by
practically demanding that I go to the BDSM school. Up until I left
for the BDSM school, Jack had been everything I could possibly want
in a man aside from his strange secrets. Then, at the BDSM school,
I discovered that Jack had told them that they could penetrate my
mouth and ass, which were both virgin territory. Upset by Jack's
blatant disregard for my virtue, I ran back home to Liam. Now, I
was lying in his bed.

It all seemed too bizarre to have any one
action justify the other. Jack had no right to send me to the
school, and I had no right to be sleeping with Liam. Two wrongs
didn't make a right, and the more I thought about it, the more I
realized I should probably return to New York as soon as possible
if I wanted any chance of salvaging my relationship with Jack. In
the end, this was for our families, not for us, so did it really
matter if either one of us ended up happy in the end. I knew the
answer was no. Our parents had just paired us together and hoped
for the best. Jack suggested that I go to the BDSM school because
he thought that what I learned there would make him happy. I knew
that it wouldn't make me happy before I went, but yet I felt
obligated to sacrifice myself for his happiness. Why? What about my
happiness?

When Liam finally began to stir, I pretended
like I was asleep. With so much going through my mind, I wasn't
ready to explain how I ended up in his bed. For a moment, he pushed
himself up onto his elbow, and I could feel him leaning over me,
watching me. Then he moved a strand of hair away from my face and
kissed me on the cheek. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach from
Liam's gentle touch. The way he affected me was so deep that it
made me have second thoughts about returning to New York.

Finally, he rose from bed, and I listened to
the bathroom door close, and then the sound of the shower head
turning on. Impure images filled my mind—images I knew I shouldn't
be having. Why was my body begging for Liam's touch when I had held
him off for so long? Maybe the short time I'd spent at the BDSM
school had awakened something inside of me.

Feeling like it was a good opportunity to
make my escape, I crawled out of bed and went back to the guest
room to get dressed. Liam and I met in the hallway. He was toweling
off his hair, and I was on my way to the kitchen to make
breakfast.

“I was wondering where you went,” Liam
said.

For a moment, I was dumbstruck, standing
there staring at his broad muscular chest. He was so much bigger
than Jack, with a thin covering of light blonde hair on his chest
and stomach. The lines of Liam's hips pointed down into his boxers,
and I felt my face flush as my eyes flitted lower for just a second
before coming back up to his face.

“I-I was going to make you breakfast,” I
stuttered, pointing behind me like an idiot when the kitchen was in
the opposite direction. I had known Liam practically my entire
life. Why was I reacting this way to him now? I didn't understand
it, but I liked it. “Wait, aren't you late for work?”

“I am.” He smiled, obviously noticing my
awkwardness and finding it amusing. “As much as I'd like to stay
here with you, you'll have to just make breakfast for yourself.
I'll catch something on the way to work.”

“Oh, alright.”

“You act like you've never seen me shirtless
before,” Liam teased, and I instantly felt playful anger building
up.

“Just, shut up and go get dressed,” I
laughed, not knowing what else to say.

The day was long and lonely, but at least it
gave me time to contemplate my predicament. I would have to call
Jack sooner or later. It was only a matter of time before he found
out where I was, and it was best that he heard the news from my
mouth. About an hour before Liam was scheduled to get off work, I
finally got up the nerve to dial Jack's number.

He answered with more concern than anger,
“Where are you? The school told me that you left yesterday, and no
one has heard from you since.”

“I'm at a friend's house.” Now it was my turn
to be vague. “I'm sorry Jack, but that school was horrible.”

He sighed. “Alright. You gave it a chance.
Now come back to New York. We'll figure something else out.”

“I think I'd rather stay here for a few more
days,” I told him boldly.

“I'll switch your plane ticket so that you
can come back on Sunday,” Jack agreed, returning to the calm and
cool demeanor that I was used to. “I miss you.”

This last bit surprised me, and I couldn't
tell if it was genuine or not, nor was I sure if I returned the
sentiment. We still barely knew each other.

“Text me the time that my flight leaves.”

“I'll call you tomorrow to let you know, and
to check up on you.”

“Alright.”

“Have fun, and try to relax. I'm sorry things
didn't go well at the school.” He sounded sincere.

“It's alright. I'm fine now.”

“I'll talk to you later, honey bee,” and with
that he hung up. There was that strange pet nickname again. Honey
bee. Like Jack actually had some kind of affection for me.

Liam kept his fridge well stocked with fresh
cuts of beef, so I made filet minion with baked asparagus and new
potatoes for dinner. It was a hearty meal, something I knew he'd
enjoy.

“Honey, I'm home,” Liam called out as he
walked through the front door.

I came running, only to find that he had two
big bags from Salsalitos in his hands. My smile sulked a bit but
didn't disappear.

“Surprise.” Liam's silvery eyes glimmered
with pride.

“Great minds think alike,” I said, trying not
to sound disappointed. “I cooked dinner.”

“Well, it looks like we'll have plenty to eat
for the rest of your stay,” he joked, brushing past me to set the
bags in the kitchen. I could only assume that we'd be eating what
he brought the next day.

“How was work?” I followed behind him.

“Long and stressful. If someone had told me
in the beginning that being a lawyer was going to be this hard,
then I might have chosen a different career.”

“Of course it's not easy.”

I sat Liam down and made him a plate before
joining him at the dinner table. The smile across his face made we
want to never leave. Everything I did, he appreciated, the same as
he always had.

“So, how did it happen that you ended up in
my bed last night?” Liam asked the question I had been dreading
answering all day long.

“It's been so long since I've been here,” I
started, but the grin on my face spoke of the lie I was
spinning.

“Yes, less than a month is an awfully long
time to be away,” he teased.

“Does that mean you wish I would have stayed
away longer?” I shot him a playful glare.

“Well, if a few weeks away will make you lose
your way and end up in my bed, then I wonder what a few months will
do.” Liam glanced up at me as he took a bite of asparagus. “All
joking aside though, what was that all about?”

“Oh, Liam,” I sighed. “It's really been . . .
I don't know.”

Even though I knew I shouldn't disclose too
much, I ended up pouring my heart out. I told him everything, from
Jack's strange request for me to attend the BDSM school to how I
had been made to stand naked in front of Master Benjamin while he
fondled me. I told him how out of place, and scared, and violated I
felt. Not surprisingly, by the time I finished talking, Liam's face
was red with anger.

“You stay with me. That's what you do,” he
replied, as if it was the only option.

“You know I can't. Both of our families are
depending on this marriage.”

“I don't understand why they can't merge
without the marriage. This is 2013 after all, not the old days
where arranged marriage was common.”

“I think it's mainly a trust thing. I don't
know. Both of our parents are old-fashioned.” I had lost my
appetite, but not before I devoured all of my asparagus and most of
my steak. It was the first real meal I had since before the BDSM
school.

“Don't they even care what you want?” Liam
was appalled.

“No. They don't,” I replied plainly.

“So, what are you going to do? As much as I
want to force you to stay here, I know that I can't.”

“I guess I have to go back.” I shrugged,
standing to take both of our plates to the kitchen, since neither
one of us seemed to be in the mood to eat anymore.

“I don't understand why you'd want to go back
to someone like that. It sounds like he wants to corrupt you.”

“Maybe he does. Like I said, I don't
know.”

“I mean, do you even like the guy?”

“He's not all bad.” I felt a knot forming in
my stomach. Talking about Jack with Liam made me incredibly
uncomfortable.

When I was done with the dishes, I went to
take a shower and change into my pajamas. Then I curled up next to
Liam on the sofa to watch some television.

“Over five hundred channels and nothing on
any of them,” he commented as he flipped through the channels,
looking for something that we'd both enjoy.

Liam paused on one of the adult channels that
was playing a BDSM special. My stomach turned at the sight of a
woman who was bound to a St. Andrew's Cross and gagged. A man in a
full leather outfit was slapping a riding crop against her
nipples.

“So, this is what he wants to do to you,
huh?” Liam asked.

“Change it, please,” my voice was small and
uneasy.

“Why? If you go back to him, you'll have to
learn about it sooner or later.”

“Well, I'm not with him now.”

Liam kept his eyes ever on the television.
The woman whimpered with each slap across her breasts, and I
couldn't tell if Liam was enjoying watching it or not. “I could
teach you, you know?” he suggested.

“What?” My eyes widened in disbelief,
sincerely hoping he was joking.

“That's what he sent you away for, wasn't it?
So you could learn to be like that girl?”

I hesitated, “Well, yes.”

“Well, I can teach you, if you want. It
wouldn't be much different than learning it from a stranger. In
fact, it would be a lot safer.”