Finding Divine (3 page)

Pete’s lips twisted with a shake of his head. “Lucky for you things are slow at the garage today. You owe me.”

“Of course. Now let’s get back to her before she realizes something’s up.”

Jessica stood with her back to them, arms wrapped around her body. “Are you cold?” Simon asked walking up to her.

She jumped, letting out a yelp before turning to face him. “Please don’t do that again. You almost gave me a heart attack.”

“You’re jumpy, aren’t you?”

“I’ve been told that. I guess I don’t handle surprises well. When I was a kid my parents threw a surprise party. When everyone jumped from behind their hiding places, I hid in the closet. It took my parents nearly an hour to get me out.”

“Yikes. I’ll be more careful in the future.”

She raised a delicately curved brow. “You say that as if you’ll have other opportunities.”

Simon grinned. “I’m hoping. Anyway, Pete said he’d try to give the car a start before he tows it away. He just needs your keys.”

She hesitated for a moment before handing them over to his cousin. When Pete tried to start Jessica’s car the engine wouldn’t turn. Pete then when into his spiel about taking it back to his garage to take a look at it and doing the necessary repairs.

She blew out an exaggerated breath. “That sounds awful expensive.”

Simon felt a twinge of guilt for putting her through unnecessary worry. It was on the tip of his tongue to tell Jessica what he was up to when she suddenly turned to him and said, “Well, I guess we should go get that coffee after all.”

All his good intentions went up in smoke.

CHAPTER THREE

Jessica barely managed to drag her gaze away from Simon’s gorgeous lips. This was the fifth time he’d caught her staring at them and she was sure he thought she was some kind of idiot. Though it was hard to concentrate on everything that he said because of his sheer masculine beauty, she somehow felt relaxed in his presence. Not since Jason had she ever felt such a strong connection with someone, a fact she found a bit disconcerting. She wasn’t sure what it was about him that brought on these feelings.  It couldn’t be his looks because the world was full of hunks. There was simply this instantaneous bond that defied explanation.

Simon’s smile widened. “Why do you keep looking away like that?”

She stirred her foamy cappuccino to keep her hands busy, stalling for an answer. “Like how?” Jessica knew exactly what he meant but she didn’t have the nerve to admit it.

He shrugged. “Kind of like you’re embarrassed. You’re not ashamed to be seen with me in public, are you?”

Gasping in surprise, she shook her head vehemently. “Of course not. It’s just, you’re so hot.” The second the words left her mouth, Jessica wished the floor would open up and swallow her whole. She couldn’t believe she’d just said that out loud. She cringed, hoping Simon didn’t think she was a simpleton.

Instead of being taken aback by her confession, he seemed pleased, smiling even wider than before.  “Do you really think so?”

There was no point in pretending she didn’t say it. Best to brazen it out, she thought. “Oh come, on. I’m pretty sure you own a mirror. I doubt I’m the first woman to fawn over you.”

“Believe it or not, I don’t give my looks much thought.”

  He had to be putting her on. “If you’re fishing for compliments, you’re not getting any more from me, buddy. Guys like you always know they’re good-looking.”

A dark blond brow shot up as he leaned forward with his elbows on the table and his hands folded under his chin. “Guys like me? Please elaborate.”

“You know: guys with movie star looks. I’m sure you’ve been told that plenty of times.”

The amusement on his face she’d noted earlier was gone. For the first time since their meeting he almost seemed a bit sad with his down-turned lips and far-off stare. 

“I hope I wasn’t too out of line for saying it.”

“It’s not that. Don’t get me wrong, I understand women find me appealing and I’m flattered you do as well.”

“But?”

“When you’ve gone through what I have, looks cease to be that important. What I look like doesn’t say anything about the person I am. I’ve been working on what’s inside for a long time, so my outer appearance is kind of a non-issue for me. Look at Ted Bundy for instance. He was considered a handsome man, but he was a monster. It’s an extreme example, but do you understand where I’m coming from?”

“I do, but should I be a bit worried that you bring up a serial killer on our first meeting?” she teased him to ease the tense atmosphere. “You don’t have any bodies buried in your backyard, do you?”

He shook his head, his smile returning. “No. I don’t have the stomach for that type of thing. I’m nowhere near perfect, however. I’m what you call a work in progress.”

“Aren’t we all?” Jessica wasn’t sure why it seemed he was talking about something else, but she decided to take his words at face value. One of the things her therapist had told her was to let her guard down sometimes and start letting people in. Besides, she was a big bundle of issues herself. Short of murder, she couldn’t imagine what would cause Simon angst. 

He leaned forward, focusing those startling blue eyes on her.  “Well, you already know about my custom furniture business and my plans for the future, I want to know more about you. Not just about what you do for a living, but you. What are your likes and dislikes, hopes and dreams?”

Jessica took a deep breath. She didn’t want to tell him too much too soon lest she scared him off, but part of opening up was letting people get to know her, warts and all. “I’m a pretty boring person. My shop takes up a lot of my time, but when I’m not working, I like to read. I don’t even own a television set. Well, I did, but once it went kaput I never replaced it. I dabble in a little poetry, but I’m not that good at it really. It’s just a little something I do to calm me down sometimes.”

“Calm you down?”

She paused for a moment. If she didn’t tell him now and they continued to see each other, he’d find out eventually. She didn’t want to have an attack come on and he be completely caught off-guard like her last date. She’d laughed about it while relaying the tale at the cemetery to Jason, but when her date had fled without a backward glance while she literally felt like she was dying, it had hurt. It’d hurt like hell. It would be easier for Simon to leave her alone now rather than later when she’d invested herself into a friendship or relationship with him. “It helps me with my depression. It’s something I’ve battled for some years now.  When I write my thoughts and feelings down on paper it helps.”

“I’m sorry to hear you’ve been battling depression, Jessica. I’m no stranger to that illness myself.”

“Really?” she asked, releasing the breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. She’d almost expected a look of repulsion to cross his face but his empathetic words were a huge relief. But she’d only told him about part of her condition.

“Yes. Like I said, I’m a work in progress. It’s not as bad as it was, but there are times when I get into a huge funk and it’s hard to get out. A few hours in my workshop usually helps me. Working with my hands always seems to release some, if not all of my frustration.” He paused for a moment to take a sip of his coffee. “So tell me, when you get sad, does it have anything to do with who you were visiting at the cemetery today?”

Jessica froze. She rarely talked about Jason with anyone--not even her mother and father. Both of them told her that bottling up her feelings wasn’t helping and she’d never really move on with her life if she didn’t grieve properly. Her therapist echoed those sentiments, but in Jessica’s mind she’d done all the grieving she was capable of. Opening up about something that was still painful to her was difficult, but a force she couldn’t quite explain compelled her to tell Simon.

“I was visiting my brother’s grave. It’s been a long time now since he’s been gone but it almost seems like yesterday. I still wake up some mornings expecting to see his smiling face, but I never do.”

“So you two were really close?”

“He was my twin, my other half.” She and Jason had been tighter than most siblings. They didn’t even argue which amazed a lot of people, but there was this inexplicable bond that even death hadn’t managed to sever. 

“I’m very sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you.” What else could she say to that? Feeling uncomfortable with what she’d revealed she switched the spotlight on him. “And you? Who were you visiting at the cemetery?”

“Actually I didn’t get a chance to visit because I saw a lovely damsel in distress.”

She wasn’t fooled for one second that he also didn’t want to talk much about whose grave he’d been on his way to see, but decided not to press the issue. Instead, she asked, “Do you have any siblings?”

“I have a sister, but we don’t really talk much. She lives in France with her husband so I only see once a year if that. We were never particularly close as kids because of the age difference. Jennifer is ten years younger than me and when she turned eighteen she met a Frenchman on a trip abroad and decided to stay, so we never really got to know each other as adults.”

“Maybe one day you’ll get that opportunity. At least you have it.”

“I suppose you’re right. I’m just not particularly close to any of my immediate family. Don’t get me wrong, I think having a family support system is great, but some of us aren’t so lucky.”

“I know what you mean. I may be close to my mom and dad but they both drive me crazy. My parents divorced shortly after my brother…well, they both had a hard time coping, so they each turned to other things to get them through instead of each other.”

“Other things?”

“My mom hit the bottle pretty hard, and my father became a womanizer. By the time they realized what they were doing wasn’t healthy, the damage to their marriage had already been done. The two of them have since got help for their vices, but they’re both extremely stubborn. They’re still in love with each other, but neither is willing to make the first move. It’s frustrating because they put me in the middle of their little tiffs. I try to stay out of it as much as I can but they won’t let me.  When I’m with my dad, all he talks about is my mom and vice versa, but if I suggest they talk to each other, they get angry.”

“I can imagine.”

Jessica sighed and took another sip of her now cold cappuccino. “It’s so bad that I find myself lying to them to get out of spending time with them, because I don’t have the energy to listen to them tear each other down.”

“How often do you have to make excuses?”

“At least once a month. Actually, tomorrow officially marks the first day of my vacation. I have an entire week off and obviously they’ll both want to spend some time with me. With running my own business, I don’t get a lot of vacation time, so listening to their complaints when all I really want is some rest and relaxation will probably tire me out more than working. I already have one ulcer from all the drama, I don’t need another one. So, I plan on making up some excuse to avoid the stress.”

Simon nodded in apparent understanding. “I see your dilemma. What do you plan on telling them?”

“I’ll say I’m going somewhere warm and sunny. Of course I’ll need to buy souvenirs of some sort and pretend I went where I said. In reality, I plan on hiding out in my apartment.”

“Why don’t you just go on a real vacation instead?”

“I  thought about it, but getting a plane ticket and hotel accommodations on such short notice will be a killer on my savings, and I’m trying to save up a hefty down payment on a house. I’m on track to begin house hunting this fall.”

“Hmm, I can see where you’d have a problem there. Well, in that case I think I have the perfect solution for you.”

“Is that so?”

“You have to promise to hear me out first before you say yes or no, okay?”

Jessica wasn’t sure where he was going with this but saw no harm in listening to his proposal. “This sounds ominous. You’re not going to suggest I sell a kidney to fund my vacation, are you?”

Simon laughed. Jessica loved the rich deep sound of his humor. “It’s nothing that drastic. As it turns out, I’m taking a mini-vacation myself. I have a beach house at the Jersey shore I go to when I have some time on my hands, which isn’t often actually. You’re more than welcome to be my guest for the week, and before you give me that look, it’s a three-bedroom house right on the beach, so there’s enough room for the both of us. I know this isn’t the most ideal time of year to go with the weather being so unpredictable, but we’re due for some sunshine this coming week. You don’t have to give me your answer now, but just think about it.”

Simon’s generous offer surprised her because they’d only met today. There had to be some kind of catch. She wondered if he’d expect her to put out for letting her stay in his house. Despite feeling relaxed in his presence, Jessica still had no way of knowing if he was some psycho killer who lured women to his den of iniquity and then chopped them into tiny pieces.  Jessica shuddered at the thought.

“I can see the hesitation on your face and though this may sound sudden, I knew you were special the second I saw you, and I wanted to have you in my life in some capacity. What better way for us to get to know each other than a week at the beach, relaxing, taking in the sights, and talking?”