Finding Divine (4 page)

Jessica couldn’t deny the instant attraction she felt for Simon either, something that went beyond mere physical appearance. But she wasn’t sure if she could trust her judgment.  “What exactly would this cost me?” She had to be crazy to even entertain the idea of spending a week away from home with a practical stranger, but the idea of spending time with Simon made her caution waver.

“All expenses paid.”

Jessica’s eyes narrowed with suspicion. When something sounded too good to be true it usually was.  “What’s in it for you?”

“The pleasure of your company.”

She had to dig a little deeper before she gave this some serious thought. “Do you expect me to sleep with you in return for letting me stay at your place because—“

Simon held his hand up, halting her in mid-speech. “Whoa. Let’s get one thing straight. If that’s all I wanted from you, I’d come right out and say it. I’m an adult, not a boy. I’m perfectly capable of saying what’s on my mind. Yes, making love to you has crossed my mind, but if you don’t want to, I’m fine with that.”

Her mouth went dry as erotic images of her and Simon together infiltrated her mind. She pictured his hands roaming her body and not stopping until they were both satisfied. Jessica felt her panties grow uncomfortably moist as she imagined him doing things to her she’d only seen done in movies. In her twenty-nine years she’d never been so physically attracted to anyone before, and she began to wonder if it was herself she couldn’t trust around him instead of the other way around. “I uh…well…how do I know you’re not just planning to take me to your shore house to kill me?”

“If I were a serial killer you’d already be dead. I know plenty of back roads around here and even more places to hide bodies.” His deadpan expression nearly fooled her until Simon gave her a mischievous wink.

Jessica let out a relieved sigh. “Okay, I get the point, but I barely know you. How respectable does it look for a single lady like myself to simply take off with a man I just met today?”

“If there’s anything you want to know about me, just ask. Just to give you the run down, I’m thirty, a Capricorn, 6’3, forwent college to attend trade school, I’m a business owner. I have two dogs—black labs, Dennis and Ramona, and I’m a secret Trekkie.  My favorite color is green, and my favorite food is pizza. Hmm, what else, oh yeah, I brush regularly, say my prayers, and I know a good thing when I see it.” That last part was said with enough meaning to leave no doubt in Jessica’s mind he referred to her.

She couldn’t help giggling at his wry sense of humor. “You’re silly. Even though you seem like a nice guy, I just can’t take off with you like that. It would be a little insane on my part. Besides--” The loud ring of a cell phone cut her next words off.
It was her ring tone.  “Oh my goodness. I didn’t check my purse when I was looking for it in my car because I was so sure I’d left my phone on the charger.”

Simon grinned. “It happens to the best of us.”

It took Jessica several seconds to locate her phone at the bottom of her purse. Being a bit of a pack rat, it had way more things in it than necessary. She made a mental note to clean it out later that night. “Hold on a sec, I have to take this.”

He nodded “Sure.”

Jessica knew without having to look at her caller id who the caller was. “Hi Mom, what’s up?”

“I would have thought you’d be back from the cemetery by now. You said you were coming over.” No hello or similar greeting. It was typical of her single-minded mother.

Jessica lowered her head in her exasperation. “I know I said I’d be over today but I’m having some car trouble. It’s being looked at right now and  I’m hoping the mechanic can finish up soon so I can be there. The day isn’t over yet.”

“You’re not making up a story about car trouble because of your father, are you? You know how much I need you today.
You’re not with your father, are you, because if you are, who else is over there? Is he still with that Jamaican woman, or is he back with that young thing I saw him with a few months ago?”

It was on the tip of Jessica’s tongue to tell her mother she didn’t need to make an excuse to see her father but she bit the retort back, sensitive to how her mother felt with this being the anniversary of Jason’s death.

“Mom, I’m waiting for my car to be fixed, I’m not making that up. As for Dad, I don’t ask him about his love life so if you really want to know, why don’t you ask him yourself?”

There was a long pause on the other end of the line before her mother answered. “That wasn’t a very nice thing to say, Jessica Elizabeth. I thought you would be a little more sensitive to my feelings, especially today.” Her voice sounded heavy with emotion as if she were on the verge of tears. “I don’t even see why you don’t spend more time with me, anyway. Didn’t you mention you may have some vacation coming up? You should spend it with me. We only have each other, baby girl.” As usual, Jessica’s mother ignored the fact Jessica had another parent but diplomatically she didn’t point it out.

She inwardly counted to ten before speaking again. “Mom, I’ve already made plans but I’ll tell you about them when I see you later on. When I come back from my vacation we can have a girl’s weekend, like we used to.”

“You’re abandoning me just like your father did. You don’t love me,” her mother began to sob. Jessica’s stomach began to ache, her ulcer starting to bother her again. Dealing with either one of her parents took an emotional and physical toll on her body.

“Mom, I do love you. Very much. Don’t cry. I just need some time to myself is all. We’ll talk about it more tonight  but maybe just the two of us can plan for a mini-vacation together. I won’t even tell Dad about it.”

Marie Smith sniffed on the other end of the phone. “Really?”

“Yes, Mom.”

“You’re such a good girl. Well, take care and I’ll see you tonight. I’ll look up places on the Internet to get ideas on where we can go.”

“Sounds good. I love you.” Jessica pressed the end button before her mother could reply. She breathed a deep sigh of relief and knew right then and there she had to get out of town.

Lifting her head to meet Simon’s questioning gaze she said, “So is that offer still on the table?”
                                                           

                         CHAPTER FOUR

“You work fast, man. I can’t believe she agreed to spend the week with you after only knowing you for a few hours. You must have laid some mad game on her. I don’t know how you do it, Simon, but when I grow up, I want to be just like you.” Pete took another sip of his beer with a shake of his dark head.

“Get the hell outta here. It’s not what you’re thinking."

“I beg to differ. I believe it’s exactly what I’m thinking. Anyway, I’m not coming down on you, just making an observation. She’s cute.”

Simon took a swig from his own bottle of beer. Jessica had just left the shop, and he and Pete were sitting around watching basketball and catching up on the goings-on in each other’s lives. Just as he’d suspected, Jessica needed a new alternator, so Pete had been able to fix it right away. Simon made sure to obtain her number and address to confirm their plans for the beach. Even though she’d agreed to go, he wasn’t sure if she’d change her mind. The prospect of never seeing her again frightened him. Now, at the very least he’d have some avenue to follow up with her in case she did back out.

“Yes, she is, but seriously, I’m not taking her to my beach house for a wild orgy or anything like that. We’re both going to relax and get to know each other.”

Pete lifted one black eyebrow. “Get to know each other in the biblical sense, you mean?”

“Cut that shit out. Yeah, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t interested in  going to bed with her, but she’s different. I don’t know what it is yet, but I’d like to find out.” Even now Simon couldn’t stop thinking about her shy smile, those big soulful eyes, her scent, and the way his body had reacted when she brushed against him. His cock had been hard nearly the entire time they’d sat in the coffee shop. It was a wonder that she hadn’t noticed his discomfort.

“In what way? How do you know she won’t turn out to be some obsessive lunatic? Remember that last chick you were with? Cathy, I think her name was? That woman didn’t know how to take no for an answer.” Pete shook his head.

“Cathy was a special case, and thankfully she set her sights on someone else. As far as Jessica goes, only time will tell what kind of person she is but I have a good feeling about her. I doubt she is a lunatic. Besides, I had to practically beg her to spend the week with me.”

Pete snorted. “You begged? I find that very hard to believe.”

“Believe what you will, but it’s true. I’m telling you, man, she’s special. Though I’m not exactly sure what makes her stand out from the rest, I certainly intend to find out.”

“Good luck with that. Hope it works out for you.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it.” Pete’s easy-going, laissez-faire attitude was one of the reasons he loved his cousin. Pete always had his back even through the bad times, and rarely judged.

They fell
silent as they sipped their beers, until Pete finally broke the quiet. “I forgot to ask earlier, but how are you doing today?”

Simon had known the question was coming, but it still wasn’t prepared to feel the twisting pain in his heart when he thought of the incident that changed his life.
Today was the anniversary of a horrific event that shaped him into the man he was at present. “Not as bad as I thought I’d be. I got up, and said a little prayer. I went to church and lit a candle before making my trek to the cemetery. But, when I saw Jessica, it was like a sign of something. I felt like I was meeting her for a reason, because for the first time all day, I didn’t have that heavy weight of guilt that almost makes it hard to breathe. I mean I did lose my breath for a second, but it was after she turned around and laid those gorgeous eyes on me.”

“Whoa. She must be something special if she can make you forget about…well, you know.”

“It’s okay to say it. The years of therapy have certainly helped. I don’t wake up screaming from the nightmares as much anymore. Sometimes, it’s almost like it happened to someone else, but I won’t allow myself to forget because I never want to be the kind of person that led me down that path again.”

“But you should at least learn to forgive yourself. Man, I’ve seen this eat away at you for years now, and you may put on a brave face and pretend everything is okay, but can you really say you’ve healed when you can’t stop thinking about yourself as a horrible person? You’re not, you know.”

Simon raked his finger through his unruly locks. “Since when did you get your psychology degree?”

“Cut the bullshit. I’m only saying this because I care, and I don’t need to spend several years in school to see you’re still hurting. In all that therapy you’ve had, you never once tried to reconcile with your parents.”

“To reconcile actually means there’s still a relationship to salvage. They were never really parents to me, at least not in the way they were supposed to be. They can both kiss my ass. I don’t owe either one of them a damn thing.”

“They hurt too, you know. I talked to your mother the other day and she asked how you were doing. Why don’t you call her sometime? It would mean a lot to her.”

Simon tried to rein in his temper. Pete meant well, but there was no way anyone could know what he’d suffered for most of his life at the hands of his parents. Now that they suddenly wanted a relationship with him didn’t matter anymore. He didn’t need either one of them. “Pete, you know I love you, but I suggest you let the subject of my parents go.”

Pete looked like he wanted to say something, but decided against it.  Then he nodded. “If that’s what you want.”

“It is.”

“Other than your folks, how is everything else?”

“Fine. Look, I have to get out of here. The dogs have been cooped up in the house all day and I need to let them out and take them for a walk.”

Pete shrugged, his face bright red. “Yeah, sure, man. Whatever.”

Simon didn’t mean to come off so hostile toward his cousin, but where his parents were concerned there was nothing left to say. “I’ll catch you when I get back from the shore, okay?”

“You won’t need me to watch the dogs for you while you’re away?”

“No, I’m taking them with me.”

“Wow, you must really like this lady if you’re introducing her to the kids.”

Simon smiled at the thought of Dennis and Ramona. He didn’t really think of them as his pets, but his babies. Sure they both weighed over seventy pounds but they were big softies. Sometimes he preferred them to his people friends. “Hey, love me, love my dogs. Besides, if she gets along with them, it’s a sign.”

“You have some serious issues, dude.” Pete stood and offered his hand. “Okay, have a safe trip, and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

Simon grinned, slapping his cousin’s palm. “You’re giving me a of leeway.”

Pete chuckled along with him. “Then do me proud.”

On the verge of leaving, Simon turned back to his cousin. “Thanks for doing that favor for me. I owe you one.”

“No problem. That’s what family is for.”