Finding Forgiveness (Finding Series, Book 4) (3 page)

“He’ll be back any second. He went to the pharmacy to get your aspirin, remember?”

Malcom’s face got even redder as he glared at his wife and a chill went through Roman as he wondered what exactly the man would have done if he hadn’t been there. Malcom’s eyes shifted back to him.

“My son will be able to show you the property – he knows it like the back of his hand,” Malcom said quickly.

Before Roman could make the man squirm even more, he heard the door behind him open and when he glanced over his shoulder, his whole body seized up with a mix of excitement and dread when he saw the shock of blond hair.

“Dad, they were out of aspirin so I got you some-”

The young man’s words died off as he lifted his head and his surprised green gaze met Roman’s. But unlike the night before, this time his eyes were anything but empty. There was only one thing in them as he glanced from Roman to his father and then back to Roman. Fear. Absolute and total fear.

Malcom’s voice barely even registered when he said, “Mr. Blackwell, this is my son, Hunter.”

***

No.

The word kept growing louder and louder in Hunter’s mind as he struggled to take in enough air to keep from passing out. His chest actually hurt as he took in the sapphire eyes that refused to release him from their hold.

God, if he’d seen those eyes when he’d woken up this morning, he never would have been able to force himself out of the man’s bed. Hell, it had been bad enough that he’d ended up pressed up against the guy’s broad chest with his nose buried against his neck. The temptation to swipe his tongue over the corded muscles had been so profound that he’d actually done it before he could stop himself. And he’d gotten hard instantly. Luck had been on his side because the man hadn’t woken up then or even when Hunter had disengaged himself from the strong arms that had been wrapped around him. Hunter had let himself have one last look at the guy before he’d left the hotel room, his regret that he would never see him again weighing heavily in his gut.

Hunter was helpless to tear his eyes away from the man and he was actually moving forward towards him as if being pulled by some invisible string when a sharp pain radiating through his hand stopped him. The end of his father’s crutch hit his fingers for a second time, knocking the small paper bag in his hand to the ground. He managed to turn his head long enough to see his father’s dark scowl and a tremor of fear went through him when he saw his father’s mouth moving but couldn’t hear what he was saying. God, how long had he been standing there staring at the guy?

And then the man was standing in front of him, his big hand closing over Hunter’s. He could feel the callouses that had felt so good against the back of his neck last night when the guy had held him still for his kiss.

“Roman,” the man said softly as he gently shook Hunter’s hand that was still stinging from his father’s attempt to get his attention.

“Hunter,” Hunter responded as relief coursed through him. The guy wasn’t going to reveal that they knew each other…Roman. His name was Roman. Hunter’s relief was short-lived as Roman’s finger suddenly stroked over the inside of his wrist. It felt so good that Hunter actually shuddered and he let out a soft sigh. Roman must have noticed because his gaze fell to Hunter’s mouth and heat filled his gaze.

“So as I was saying, Mr. Blackwell, Hunter will take you up to the property to have a look around and then you and I can meet back here to go over the specifics.”

Hunter was glad when Roman finally released his hand but was surprised when he didn’t look at his father when he said, “I intend to do a thorough inspection of the land, Mr. Greene. If and when I’m ready to talk specifics” – Roman finally glanced over his shoulder at Hunter’s father but his expression was steely and unflinching – “I’ll let you know.”

The look of muted outrage on his father’s face was both frightening and thrilling at the same time. Few men spoke to Malcom Greene with such blatant disrespect and the ones who did usually ended up regretting it. His father’s status as mayor probably didn’t seem like much to a man like the one standing before him but Malcom Greene’s hard-nose, conservative political views had managed to make him some powerful friends in powerful places.

“We should go,” Hunter murmured as he leaned down to grab the discarded bag off the floor. He leaned past Roman to hand the bag to his father and instantly regretted it because his body brushed up against Roman’s for the briefest of moments. He noticed his mother standing near her desk, her hands clenched around what looked like a bunch of wadded up tissues and she sent him a quick smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. He ignored the urge to go to her since that would just set his father off even more. And he knew it wouldn’t make a bit of difference…it never did.

Hunter didn’t miss his father’s warning look as he turned and hurried towards the front door. He could feel Roman’s presence behind him but didn’t turn around. As soon as they reached the sidewalk, Hunter looked up and down the quiet street. It had been pure luck that he hadn’t run into anyone he knew on his walk to the pharmacy across the city square and a borderline miracle that the clerk behind the register was an older woman he’d never seen before. But he knew his luck wouldn’t hold out for long so he quickly searched out Roman’s car and basically ran to the passenger side. He didn’t miss the strange look Roman shot him as he found his keys and then pressed the button on the key fob to unlock it. He practically jumped into the car and secured his seatbelt before dropping his head so that anybody walking by wouldn’t see his face. The car’s tinted side windows were a blessing in disguise.

“You okay?” Roman asked once he’d settled in the driver’s seat.

Hunter managed a nod since being closed up in the small space with the man whose presence was playing havoc with all his senses wasn’t making it any easier to relax. “Um, if you want to back out and go that way,” Hunter said as he pointed in the direction he was talking about. He waited but when the car remained exactly where it was, he looked up and swallowed hard when he saw Roman studying him.

“We need to talk about what happened last night.”

Chapter Three

“Nothing…nothing happened,” Hunter sputtered.

“So that wasn’t your tongue shoved down my throat last night?” Roman asked with amusement.

Color flooded Hunter’s cheeks and Roman was reminded again by how innocent the younger man seemed to be, the previous night’s events at the club notwithstanding.

“I get it,” Roman said with a sigh. “You don’t want your parents to know you’re gay-”

“I’m not,” Hunter interrupted. “I’m not…what you said.”

“Fine, bi then.”

“No!” Hunter nearly yelled and then his eyes shifted back to the door to his father’s office. Shit, the kid was as deep in the closet as he could be. “Can we just go?” Hunter asked quietly, his eyes once again on his lap.

Roman started the car but didn’t put it into gear. The more he remained silent and unmoving, the more agitated Hunter became. The way the guy’s eyes darted up and down the sidewalk had Roman wondering if he was hiding from someone.

“Roman, please,” Hunter whispered.

It was the first time Hunter had said his name and it turned Roman on more than it should. But his need for answers was actually stronger than his lust and he said, “If you’re not gay, what were you doing in that club last night?”

Hunter stiffened at the question but didn’t answer. But within seconds, his jumpy gaze settled on a young woman walking down the sidewalk in their direction. She had yet to notice Hunter.

“Okay,” Hunter said hurriedly. “I’ll tell you if we can just go now.”

Roman should have felt more of a sense of satisfaction but all he felt like was an ass for using Hunter’s need to remain unnoticed against him. He put the car in reverse and then drove in the direction Hunter had told him. Once they had made it to the outskirts of town, he glanced at Hunter expectantly. Hunter wasn’t cowering anymore but he still looked tense.

“Why the club, Hunter?” Roman asked.

“I didn’t know what kind of place it was,” Hunter responded lamely.

“Let’s say I’m willing to suspend belief long enough to believe that bullshit - are you telling me the sight of all those men groping each other on the dance floor didn’t give you a clue?”

Hunter remained stubbornly silent, his eyes focused on the scenery flying by.

Roman shook his head in agitation and reminded himself it was none of his business. He was here to up his own net worth, not help some confused kid admit he preferred dick to pussy. So he had no idea what possessed him to ask, “Last night with those bikers – was that your first time?”

Still no response but Roman didn’t miss the way Hunter dashed at his eyes.

“Look, if it was about needing it rough because you like pain or something, there’re places you can go for that…there are guys who can give you what you need without putting you in danger.”

Roman felt sick even mentioning the idea to Hunter since the thought of some man – any man – inflicting pain on the young man’s body to help him get off had Roman’s protective instincts firing on all cylinders.

“It wasn’t about that,” Hunter suddenly whispered so softly that Roman barely heard him.

“Then what-”

“I went there to prove I wasn’t…I wasn’t what you said.”

Jesus, the poor kid couldn’t even say the word gay?

“And did it?” Roman asked gently. Hunter still hadn’t looked at him even once since they’d left town.

“Watching those men dancing together, kissing, touching…” Hunter’s voice dropped off.

“Turned you on,” Roman supplied.

Hunter nodded. “And then that biker came up to me and I didn’t…I wasn’t…” Hunter struggled to find the right words and this time Roman remained quiet. “I thought that if I was with someone like him then maybe it wouldn’t be true.”

A chill went through Roman as understanding dawned. The realization was so disturbing that he had to pull the car over to the side of the road. His fingers bit into the steering wheel as he forced himself to dispassionately ask, “And when you followed him into the pool room and saw the other men?”

But Hunter didn’t answer him and Roman didn’t really need him to. Roman started counting in his head in a desperate effort to remain calm as he tried to accept what Hunter had put himself through just to prove to himself that he wasn’t attracted to men.

“I didn’t know it would be like that…” Hunter choked out and Roman saw silent tears begin to slip down his face. “I knew it would hurt but I didn’t expect…”

“Did you tell them to stop?”

Hunter shook his head. “I figured the pain would eventually go away. And it did. I didn’t feel anything anymore…didn’t hear anything, didn’t see anything.”

Tears continued to dampen Hunter’s skin but Roman was at a loss as to what to do or say so he just reached his hand out and closed it over one of Hunter’s where it was resting on his trembling thigh. Hunter shifted his hand but it wasn’t to release Roman’s – it was to link their fingers together. The move had something loosening and breaking free deep inside of Roman’s chest.

“It was a mistake – I knew it as soon as the first guy...but I kept hoping maybe it worked,” Hunter admitted as he began wiping at his face with the sleeve of his free arm. His voice kept cracking as he spoke and it was hard for Roman to understand his next words but when he did, he felt his heart clench.

“And then you kissed me.”

***

Hunter missed the warmth of Roman’s fingers even though he knew he shouldn’t. Roman hadn’t said a word after Hunter’s admission – he’d just pulled his hand free of Hunter’s so he could put the car in gear. Forcing his eyes from where Roman’s thick, strong fingers were wrapped around the steering wheel, Hunter clenched his hands together in his lap.

“Take the next right,” he murmured.

“Your dad said you’re familiar with the property,” Roman finally said after he’d taken the turn.

“I practically grew up on it,” he answered and a warmth spread through him as the memories started to slowly come back one by one. “It belonged to my grandparents.”

Roman seemed surprised by that. “Do they still own it?”

“Gran does. Pops died a few years back.”

“You know why your grandmother is selling it?”

“I didn’t know she was,” Hunter admitted. He’d only found out the news himself this morning and while he’d been stunned to hear that his grandmother was letting go of the land where she and his grandfather had planned to someday live out their golden years, he’d known better than to question his father about it.

“She and Pops started building a little cabin out here but he died before they could finish it.” Hunter didn’t add that he’d spent more nights than he could count in the small shell of a structure just so he wouldn’t have to go home. His parents had always believed his lie that he was hanging out with friends and fortunately they’d never thought to check up on him – probably because it had been the only time in his life he’d ever been brave enough to lie to his father’s face.

“This is it,” Hunter murmured once Roman’s car cleared the small hill. He glanced at Roman to see his reaction to the breathtaking view but other than a slight narrowing of the eyes, Roman didn’t react at all. Hunter turned his attention back to the wide swath of rolling land in front of him and drew in a deep breath. Unlike much of the dry, dusty, perpetually brown grassy areas that surrounded Dare, Gran and Pops’ meadow was a lush green ocean of grass and was dotted with a rainbow of wildflowers as far as the eye could see. The breeze blowing through the valley made the long grass look like it was dancing and Hunter could almost feel the cool, slightly rough texture of the blades stroking his fingers.

Within minutes, the paved road turned into a dirt one and Roman slowed the car considerably. Hunter lowered his window and drew in the scent of cool air and damp earth and then folded his arms on the window frame and dropped his head down and closed his eyes. He could still remember the first time his grandfather had shown him this place. The memory was almost as clear as the last time he’d been here with Pops.

Hunter didn’t notice that the car had stopped at first and when he finally did, he turned and saw that Roman was studying him intently.

“What?” Hunter asked curiously.

Roman just shook his head.

“The lake’s still about a mile up,” Hunter murmured as he felt that familiar, aching feeling deep in his gut that he was quickly coming to expect around this man.

“When was the last time you were here?” Roman asked softly.

“It’s been a while.”

“How long?”

“Eighteen months. The day of my graduation.”

The day everything had changed…the day
he’d
changed everything by uttering one lie to protect another.

“This place means a lot to you,” Roman said softly.

Hunter couldn’t help but smile. “You remember that feeling you always got on the last day of school…that excitement knowing that there was just that last single bell standing between you and a whole summer of freedom?” Hunter looked back out the window. “Coming here was like that. Every time.”

“But not this time,” Roman observed.

Hunter let out a little laugh. Did nothing get past the man? “I guess there are some things not even this place can fix,” he whispered. Swallowing hard, Hunter forced himself to say, “We should get going. My dad will be expecting us and there’s still a lot left to see.”

Roman must’ve decided to take pity on him because the car started moving again. “What do you plan on doing with the land?” Hunter asked.

“Building a resort.”

A sick feeling went through Hunter as he realized what that meant. “So you’d put up a hotel or something?”

“More likely a combination of individual residences and a lodge of some kind.”

“Individual residences? Like cabins?”

Roman actually chuckled. “No, actual houses.”

“A lot of the property is too rugged for houses,” Hunter murmured.

“They’d be constructed down here in the valley. The lake would be the central focus but we’d offer a wide range of amenities and activities.”

Disappointment tore through Hunter. “What kind?”

“Cross country and downhill skiing and snowmobile trails in the winter, off-roading, hiking, horseback riding and water sports in the summer.”

Everything he loved about this place would be gone – buried underground by a back hoe or driven away by the hustle and bustle of tourists who didn’t give a shit about what this land had meant to him.

“You can’t-” Hunter heard himself saying but he managed to cut the words off mid-sentence.

“Can’t what?” Roman asked as he pulled the car to a stop near the trail head that led to the lake.

“Nothing,” Hunter whispered. He felt fingers brushing against his arm but he managed to escape the touch by climbing out of the car. Because he knew that if Roman touched him even once, Hunter would end up begging him not to take this last reminder of who he’d once been away too.

***

Roman watched Hunter stride up the small incline towards the trail that disappeared into a line of huge trees. God, he felt like he’d just told the kid he was going to skin his puppy or something. He had no doubt Hunter was horrified by the prospect of what would happen to his grandparents’ land in order to turn it into a world class luxury hideaway. To his own surprise, Roman had actually felt a niggle of doubt when they’d crested the small rise and the lush valley in all its glory had come into view. With the mountains as a backdrop, the sight was truly breathtaking and if Roman hadn’t been preoccupied with Hunter, he would have stopped the car just to take in the view himself. But he’d still been reeling from Hunter’s simple admission about their kiss. And then he’d seen the brief moment of pure bliss on Hunter’s face when he’d seen the valley and it had nearly stolen Roman’s breath.

God, he needed to get a fucking grip. He was here to figure out if he could pull off another deal that would pad his and his investors’ bank accounts, not worry about the tender emotions of some barely legal kid who was clearly dealing with a mess of shit that Roman had zero interest in getting involved in. Besides, maybe Hunter needed to see how the real world worked.

“Yeah, right,” Roman muttered as he got out of the car. If the events of last night were anything to go by, Hunter needed a lot more than Roman would ever be able to teach him. Knowing that the young man had actually decided the way to not be gay anymore was by subjecting himself to a brutal gang rape had had Roman wanting to both hold and strangle the kid at the same time. And then he’d wanted to turn around and drive back to town so he could tear Hunter’s father a new one because it was clear from the man’s domineering behavior that he was likely the one Hunter was hiding his true self from.

It took less than a minute to catch up to Hunter because the younger man was waiting at a fork in the trailhead. He was shifting his weight back and forth but it was the way his hand was stroking over his front pocket that had Roman taking notice. He hadn’t noticed before but he could tell there was something in Hunter’s pocket by the slight bulge in the loose fabric but he couldn’t make out what it was.