Fitting The Pieces (The Riverdale Series Book 3) (5 page)

           
She was scheduled for an assessment with one of the
counselors and then would be taken to detox. She assumed that was when the
anxiety would kick in. Pushing those thoughts out of her head, she took a seat
and waited for her name to be called. There were very few people who were
seated in the large area that reminded her of oversized living room. As she
glanced around she wondered what their stories were and why they were here
picking up the pieces of their lives just as she was.

           
She reached down absent-mindedly and her fingers found
the delicate gold chain that hung around her neck. The only thing that dangled
from it was her engagement ring and it fell over her heart. Her name was called
and she looked in the direction of the person who had called it. The woman with
a welcoming smile was middle-aged, with red hair. She wore glasses and was dressed
professionally.

           
Cara stood and met her in the doorway of her office. She
held out her hand as she introduced herself.

           
“You must be Cara, my name is Linda Snyder and I will be
one of your counselors.” She said softly.

           
Cara shook her hand and stepped inside of her office.
Once they were both inside Ms. Snyder nodded towards a row of seats.

           
“Why don’t you have a seat and we’ll get started.” Ms.
Snyder said.

           
Cara took a deep breath and took a seat and watched as
Ms. Snyder did the same.

           
“Do you have any questions for me before we begin?” She
asked.

           
Cara shook her head and wiped her palms along her thighs.
Her nerves were beginning to settle in and she couldn’t help but wonder what
Ms. Snyder thought when she looked at her.

           
“Okay, Cara, why don’t you start by telling me why you’re
here?” She probed.

           
“I’m addicted to prescription pain medication.” Cara
whispered and then thought about her answer.

           
“What is your drug of choice?”

           
Cara shrugged her shoulders and didn’t meet the
counselor’s eyes as she spoke. “Usually it’s Oxycodone, sometimes its Morphine
and sometimes it’s both.”

           
“How were these drugs introduced to your body?”

           
She looked up at Ms. Snyder and her eyebrows drew
together in confusion. “I’m sorry. I don’t understand what you’re asking.”

           
“Did you take them intravenously? Or did you snort them?
How did you take the drugs?”

           
“I swallowed them.” Cara said evenly and watched her take
notes.

           
“When did you start using drugs?”

           
“I started taking the pills a few days after my fiancée
died.” She said and fingered the ring that dangled between her breasts. Ms.
Snyder lifted her gaze and looked at Cara, studying her for a moment.

           
“How long ago did he die?”

           
“He died in July of cancer.” She closed her eyes briefly
as the pain began to creep inside of her. The feeling was familiar and she knew
it would only progress the more she talked about it. That’s when the urge would
come and she’d want to erase the pain.

           
“Have you noticed behavioral changes in yourself?”

           
“I am angry all the time. I try to block out anything I
am feeling by taking the pills. I lash out at people who are trying to help me.
I lash out at myself. When I’m sober, I want to die. When I’m high I want to
die. I only want to live when I’m sleeping because then I dream and in my dreams,
Jake is still alive.” She said softly and brushed away her tears. “I feel like
I have nothing to live for anymore. I have no family of my own. I only had Jake
and his family.”

           
“His family has turned their backs on you?”

           
She looked up and met Ms. Snyder’s stare. “No, they
haven’t.” She looked down and she was still wearing Luke’s shirt. She hadn’t
even noticed that she didn’t take it off when she had unpacked. “They’re
partially the reason I am here.”

           
“Why else are you here?”

           
“I don’t want to hurt anymore. I don’t want to hurt
anyone else, either.” It was true. After the accident her biggest fear was that
she could’ve possibly hurt an innocent person. The hurt she was inflicting upon
herself could wind up endangering someone else, and that was enough for her to
want to put an end to the pain.

           
“Have you ever undergone treatment for addiction before?”

           
“No.”

           
“Are there any medical conditions or mental disorders
that you haven’t disclosed to us?”

           
“No.”

           
“Is there anything else you’d like to add?” She said as
she took off her glasses and looked directly at Cara. They both were silent
until Cara cleared her throat and stared into her eyes as she confessed.

           
“I really want to take a pill right now.” Cara admitted
and left out that one wouldn’t do the trick. She glanced across the desk at Ms.
Snyder as she jotted a few things down before she leaned over and hit the
intercom button on the phone that rested on top of her desk.

           
“Miss Sloane is ready to be taken into detox.” Ms. Snyder
said into the speaker.

           
Suddenly the anxiety that had been absent decided to make
an appearance and Cara began to sweat. Not just her palms, but her entire body
broke out into a cold sweat and all she could think about was running out of
there and taking half a dozen little white pills.

 
* * * * *

           
It was dark by the time Luke made his way home. It didn’t
help that he had stood outside of the rehab center for hours, because he just
couldn’t bring himself to leave. He couldn’t explain the pull towards Cara he
was feeling and tried to push it aside. He lifted his sleeping daughter into
his arms and carried her into their home. Ava had fallen asleep after he picked
her up from his parents. He carefully maneuvered her through the house to her
bedroom, where he tucked her safely into her bed. He bent down and pressed his
lips to her forehead, marveling at how perfect she was, much as he did every
night he put her to bed. He rose to his full height after turning on her Hello
Kitty night light, walking out of her bedroom.

           
He pulled off his baseball cap and combed his fingers
through his hair. Once he stepped into his bedroom, he threw his cap onto the
chair and walked to his dresser. He went through the motions of undressing.
First, Luke took off his watch, then placed it on top of the dresser. He
cranked his neck from side to side working out the kinks as he lifted the
Henley up his torso and over his head. He felt exhaustion overcome him for the
first time since Cara’s accident. His fingertips loosened the belt that held
his jeans up and as he went to remove the belt from the loops he remembered the
letter that was tucked safely into his back pocket.

           
Luke pulled the white envelope from his pocket and
brought his hand around and unfolded it. He stared down at his name and smiled
faintly at his brother’s chicken-scratch handwriting. It was the little things,
he supposed, that made you miss a person. Something as simple as never seeing
the person you lost, sign their name or address a card to you again. He scratched
the stubble that lined his jaw and let out a heavy breath, debating on if he
should open it or not.

           
His hand hesitated for a moment before he tucked it into
the frame of the mirror that hung on the wall above his dresser, deciding he
wanted to hold onto that little piece of his brother for another time. Luke
padded towards the window in his bedroom and opened it, letting the crisp fall
air engulf him. He filled his lungs, drawing in a deep breath and leaned
against the wall, staring out into the darkness of trees that surrounded his
home. As he took in the serenity of the outdoors, he wished he could turn his
mind off. As tired as he was, he knew he would suffer another restless night, a
night filled with those hauntingly beautiful eyes. Her voice would taunt him
with the memories of her telling him she would never be his.

           
He couldn’t understand where these feelings of his had
come from. He racked his brain night after night, trying to remember a time in
all the years he knew her, if he had ever thought of her in any other way other
than his brother’s best friend. For the life of him, he couldn’t pinpoint a
time that he wasn’t trying to slap some sense into Jake or wasn’t pushing him
to overstep the boundaries of friendship. Why now? He asked himself. Why after
all that she had been through, seeing his brother through his darkest days, did
she captivate him? He didn’t have an answer and so he walked to his bed and
brought down the comforter, preparing himself for another lonely night dreaming
of the woman he had no business dreaming about.

 
* * * * *

           
Cara lay curled up in a fetal position, secluded,
battling her demons. Her body trembled and a searing pain sliced through her
abdomen. She would’ve sworn this was death and she was knocking on the devil’s door.
She cried out in despair as she rocked her body that was covered in
perspiration. She would sell her soul, if someone would just make it all go
away, or something rather. She knew the pills would make it all go away. She
needed them. She craved them more than the air, she was breathing.

           
She leaned over the edge of the bed and through blurred
vision she aimed for the bucket beside her as her body convulsed and she
vomited. The room around her spun in circles and she blinked her eyes rapidly
trying to make out the image of the shadow that loomed over her.

           
“Jake?” She whispered and for a moment she thought she
could make out his face. He was here to rescue her from this hell she created.
“Is it really you?” She asked as she hunched forward in pain. She fought to
lift her head, expecting to see her savior wiggle his eyebrows at her and crook
his finger, signaling her to go wherever he was. She’d crawl into his arms if
her legs didn’t allow her to stand. She looked at the figure that stood tall
beside her bed.

           
“You’re going to be just fine… I promise.” He said with
sincerity. But it wasn’t her Jake that loomed over her, promising her that
she’d get through this, it was Luke.

           
It was over a week since Cara’s accident and exactly five
days since Luke had dropped her off at Lakeview.
 
Not that he was counting or anything, he
thought as he rolled the orange shade of paint onto the bare walls of Sam and
Nick’s new house. He watched the paint spread onto the walls and stepped back
for a moment studying his handy work. He didn’t mind spending his Sunday off
painting. It actually relaxed him a bit. What he did mind though was, this god
awful color.
 
It was horrid. He glanced
over at Nick, who was standing on a ladder across the room, painting the trim
around the ceiling.

           
“What’s with the color?” Luke asked and dipped his roller
in the pan again soaking up so more paint.

           
“Don’t ask and whatever you do, don’t mention it to your sister.
You love it. Do you understand me? Tell her it makes the room look warm and
inviting, got it?” Nick said as he stared evenly at his friend, warning him
with his eyes, to do as he was told.

           
Luke’s eyes widened and he cocked his head to the side
trying to fight the grin that wanted to appear. The thought of Sam driving Nick
crazy over paint samples was amusing. “Trouble in paradise?”

           
“No, not at all. It’s just well… she’s driving me crazy
with this house. She changes her mind about everything.” Nick blew out a breath
and looked at the orange walls, shaking his head. “I swear she read that book
Fifty Shades of Crazy and is experimenting with me.”

           
Luke bit the side of his cheek to refrain from laughing.
“I’m pretty sure that’s not the name of the book, you’re referring to.” At
least he hoped so.

           
Nick turned around, his eyes lit up as if he had just
figured out the most difficult equation. “You read the damn book.” He said
accusingly with the hint of a smile playing on his lips. “That’s why you can
read a woman’s thoughts!” Nick said as if he had just had an epiphany.

           
Luke gave him a minute to have his “Ahah!” moment before
he shook his head. “I didn’t read the book.”

           
“Don’t lie!” Nick said not believing for one minute that
Luke didn’t read the book. He watched as his friend put down his roller and
rolled his eyes. The front door opened and both men turned around at the sound
of Sam’s voice.

           
“Hello?”

           
Nick shot Luke a look. “Don’t forget, you love it!” He
whispered harshly before turning back around just as Sam walked into the orange
living room with Deb and Ava right behind her.

           
“Oh my God.” Sam said as she took in the vibrant color of
the walls. Luke bit back the laugh that threatened as he watched Nick try to
figure out if her, Oh my God exclamation was a good one or a bad one.

Nick scratched the top
of his head and peered at Sam.

           
“Oh my God you love it. Right?” He asked her before
turning to Luke to see if the son of a bitch could read her thoughts and help a
brother out, him being the expert and all.

           
Luke simply shrugged his shoulders and cocked his head
waiting for Sam to answer.

           
“I love it!! It’s going to look fabulous with the couches
I ordered today!” She said, grinning from ear to ear as she turned around and
hurried towards Nick, placing a smacking kiss onto his lips.

           
Luke laughed as Nick’s shoulders slumped and the tension
release from his body before he looked down at the little blonde beside him. He
kneeled down and pointed to his cheek.

           
“Where’s my sugar?” He asked his little girl expectantly.

           
“But dad you’re covered in paint.” She whined. Luke
tapped his finger to his cheek again. Ava sighed and carefully leaned in and
pressed her little lips to his cheek. A grin spread across his face and he
pressed his own lips to the tip of her nose.

           
“Are you having a good day with Aunt Sam and Grandma?”
Luke asked her, watching as she leaned in to whisper.

           
“Grandma and I left Aunt Sam in the furniture store.” Her
eyes widened in exaggeration. “Grandma says she has a hard time making
decisions.” Ava shook her head and leaned in just a little closer. “She’s not
kidding.”

           
Luke chuckled while Ava nodded, affirming everything she
had said was true. He looked up at his mother and squinted in confusion.
“Where’s dad?”

           
Deb rolled her eyes. “Please that man is driving me
crazy. He’s been sitting in front of that TV since he woke up this morning,
waiting for the Yankee game to start.”

           
“It’s a serious thing.” Luke said as he rose to his full
height. If he hadn’t committed to helping Nick paint he’d be sitting right next
to his father waiting for the first pitch. He picked up his roller and turned
back to the wall, he was working on. If he kept at it maybe he’d make it to see
half of the game at least.

           
Sam nudged Nick with her elbow and he looked at her for a
moment. Her blue eyes shining back at him, eagerly willing him to share. He
treated her to a wink before looking back towards his friend. “Hey man.”

           
“Yeah?” Luke said not stopping a moment to look back at
him.

           
“So, since you’ve agreed to be my best man and all, and
well your dad gave us his blessing I thought it was only right to do something
to show my appreciation.” Nick said with a knowing smile. Luke turned around
and raised an eyebrow. “So we just happen to have three tickets to game two of
the A.L.C.S. And not just any tickets, but we’re right behind the dugout.” Nick
added, sounding very proud of himself.

           
Luke’s eyes widened and he placed his roller down. He
looked at Nick and narrowed his eyes. “Foti if you’re messing with me, God help
you.”

           
Nick held up his hands as if he was surrendering. “I
swear.”

           
Luke shifted his eyes back and forth between Nick and Sam
and a slow grin worked its way along his mouth. “Did I ever tell you how
extremely happy I am that you are going to be my brother-in-law?”

           
“I told you man, better to have me end up with your
sister than some jerkoff who would’ve bought you a watch.” Nick said in a
matter of fact tone and crossed his arms across his paint splattered sweatshirt.
Luke advanced to him and grabbed him in a brotherly hug

           
“Best gift ever.” He said as he patted him on the back
and withdrew from the embrace.

           
Sam smiled as she watched the two friends. “Oh, before I
forget, we took Ava for her passport picture.” She said as she dug into her
purse to produce the little picture. “You just have to fill out the forms and
take the photo and I.D. requirements to the post office.” Luke went to reach
for the photo, but she held it back from him. “You can’t sit on it Luke. The
wedding is less than three months away.”

           
“Okay.” Luke said, snatching the picture from her. He
looked down at the photo of his little beauty and then at the living breathing
version. “You take a good picture, sweetheart.”

           
“Good looks run in my family.” She tried to wink and
blinked both eyes instead.

           
Luke chuckled. “Oh yeah, who told you that?”

           
“Uncle Jake used to tell me that. He would say I got all
my good looks from him.” She said and then when the adults around her changed
their facial expressions she looked sad. “I’m sorry. Should I not have said
that?” She asked in a small whisper.

           
Luke shook his head and crouched down to Ava’s eye level.
“You never have to apologize for talking about Uncle Jake.” He offered her a
small smile.

           
Ava glanced around the room, taking notice of everyone’s
facial expressions. “But everyone looks so sad now that I mentioned him.”

           
“That’s because we all miss him, sweetie.” Deb said
walking up behind Luke. “It makes me happy though that you talk about him.” She
said softly with her eyes full of unshed tears for her son. “That way you don’t
forget him and how much he loved you.”

           
Ava smiled at her grandmother and then looked back
towards her dad. “I loved him too. I knew he hated dressing up and playing tea
party, but he did anyway.”

           
Luke laughed slightly remembering the days he would walk
in on Jake kneeling in front of Ava’s little table pretending to sip tea with
her and her toys.

           
Deb wrapped her arms around Ava, placing a kiss on her
cheek. “I tell you what? Why don’t we go back to my house and see if we can
persuade grandpa to play tea party with us?”

           
Ava giggled. “He is the grumpiest guest all the time!”
Ava said before taking hold of Deb’s hand in hers.

           
“As soon as I’m done helping Uncle Nick paint I’ll come
by grandmas and scoop you up.” Luke said as he stood up straight.

           
“Okay.” Ava said and blew him a kiss before following Deb
out of the living room.

           
When he was sure she was out of sounds reach he turned
around and faced Sam and Nick, letting out a breath he didn’t even realize he
was holding. “Shit. That doesn’t get easier.” He ran his fingers through his
hair roughly,

           
“Have you spoken to Cara?” Sam asked softly. It was as if
she was all they had left of Jake. Often one family member or the other would
speak of Jake and then automatically speak of Cara. Luke wondered if his family
would always associate the two of them together.

           
He glanced up at the couple that had both sets of eyes
trained on him awaiting his answer. “No, I haven’t.” He said flatly and turned
around picking up the roller one more time. He let out a harsh breath as he
started to roll the paint in wide strokes.

           
“Well, I was hoping you would speak to her soon…” Sam
treaded carefully. “I don’t know if her passport is valid, I’m pretty sure it
is because mom found Jake’s the other day and they had gone together to apply.”

           
Luke closed his eyes for a brief moment before continuing
the task at hand without responding to his sister.

           
Sam angled her head and decided to approach him again, changing
her original course. “I was also thinking that since you’re probably the only
one who will speak to her, you could go ahead and book her on the same flight
as you. You didn’t book yours yet right?”

           
“Babe, I know you’re excited, but we’ve got time.” Nick
intervened, noticing the tension in his friend.

           
“Yes, but the flights will book up quickly around the
holidays.” She insisted. “Mom had mentioned you were coming down after
Christmas morning with Ava. That would be the day before the wedding.”

           
Luke knew very well that his sister wouldn’t stop and
before he lost whatever little patience he had left, he turned around and
looked her square in the eye. “I have not spoken to Cara. She could still be in
detox for all I know or just flat out avoiding me.” Both options were possible
and he was hoping selfishly that she was still in detox and not avoiding him.
What a dick, he was. “I’ll go ahead and book her flight if and when I actually
speak to her. And yes I’m flying down after my daughter opens her presents on
Christmas morning. You weren’t expecting me to have Santa follow her to Cabo
were you?”

           
Everyone was worried about spending their first Christmas
without Jake, Luke included, but he also worried about making Christmas special
for his daughter. She didn’t fully understand death and the impact it had on
the adults she was surrounded by. She deserved to have a normal Christmas,
despite the fact that no one felt like celebrating.

           
Sam frowned, not realizing how much of an inconvenience
her wedding was on Luke. “I’m sorry. I can push it back if that helps you out.
I didn’t even think about that.”

           
“No, it’s fine. We will just be there in the afternoon.”
He said a little more relaxed and his gaze softened. “I didn’t mean to jump
down your throat, Sam.” He added apologetically and combed his fingers through
his tousled hair.

           
“No, it’s me. I’m being pushy and hormonal and…”

           
“Fifty shades of crazy…” Nick mumbled under his breath
before he coughed and tried to cover up his little comment. Luke smiled slightly
at him and then looked back at his sister who was perplexed.