Fitting The Pieces (The Riverdale Series Book 3) (7 page)

           
Cara bit down on her lip nervously as she walked into the
large room. There were floor to ceiling windows throughout the room, with
breathtaking views of the lake that surrounded Lakeview. It was quite serene
and there was a certain peace to be found there.
 
In the center of the room there was a large
circle of chairs. Off to one side there was a buffet of fresh pastries and
bagels, and an urn filled with coffee. She wasn’t alone, there were people
scattered throughout the room. Some of them stood huddled together others
finding their seats. Cara slowly made her way to the buffet to grab a cup of
coffee. She avoided making eye contact with anyone, in fear that they would see
right through her. See through the exterior and discover the broken shards of
the person she used to be. Once her cup was full of steaming hot coffee she
took a seat and hoped nobody noticed her.

           
A man entered the room; she assumed he was the counselor
by how everyone in the room made their way to greet him. The seats around her
began to fill and the man found his way to the center of the circle. Cara
focused on the floor and the pattern in which the tile was laid. She didn’t
lift her head when she heard the man introduce himself, but she listened to him
intently.

           
“Welcome everyone. Those of you who have been meeting
with me regularly have no need for introductions, but for the few new faces I
see I am Rick Sutter, a counselor here at Lakeview. Before we begin I’m going
to go over how these group sessions work, quickly. This is a place to release
your thoughts. You can share your story or choose just to listen to others, but
know each and every one of us struggles and we pass no judgments.” Rick said
reassuringly. “Do we have any volunteers?”

           
Cara cautiously lifted her head to see if all eyes were
on her. She was relieved when a woman around her age stood up across from her.
She knew it was her own head playing tricks on her, but she couldn’t help
feeling like a fish in a fishbowl.
 
When
the woman stood up, all eyes were on her and not Cara.

           
“My name is Victoria and I am an addict.” She said and
looked around the circle, making eye contact with each and every one of her
peers.

           
A chorus of “Hello Victoria” broke out and Cara found her
voice joining in with the people, welcoming the brave woman who stood before
them.

           
“I was fifteen years old when I started using.” She
admitted unashamed. “My father was abusive to both me and my mother and I
turned to drugs to escape the pain I endured at home. I would grab whatever was
in the medicine cabinet at first before I hooked up with a dealer. The drugs made
me forget that I was broken and damaged. When I looked around at other people
who came from good homes and had picture perfect families I didn’t feel so out
of place, because I forgot where I came from. I lied. I cheated. I stole. And
the sad part is I don’t remember half of what I did or who I hurt. I remember
bits and pieces of the treacherous things I did. I remember having meaningless
sex with faceless strangers. I knew I was an addict when I woke up in a dark
alley. Whatever clothes I had been wearing were ripped to shreds or not, even
on me anymore. I had no idea how I got there and the worse part I couldn’t
blame anyone but myself. I was an addict and I was my own worst enemy.”

           
Cara swallowed the lump that was lodged in her throat as
Victoria sat down. She quickly wiped at the tears that had escaped her eyes
while listening to Victoria bravely share her story.

           
“Thank you, Victoria.” Rick said with a slight nod in her
direction before turning and gazing around the faces in the circle. “Would anyone
else like to share?”

           
Next to share their hardship with addiction was a young
man. Cara would’ve pegged him to be barely in his twenties. He was scrawny and
scruffy and stood nervously as if it were his first time sharing with the
group.

           
 
“My name is Collin
and I am an addict…” He said with a shaky voice. As Cara listened to him rehash
his discovery of when he found out he was addicted to heroin, she began to
realize that as damaged as she was, there were people around her worse off.
Collin had been just nineteen years old when he succumbed to the devil that was
drugs. He had been sexually abused by his stepfather and in fear of being
kicked out of his home he escaped his pain with needles. He even lifted his
sleeves and showed the group the track marks of the needles and the scars he
had to prove he abused his veins.

           
When Collin was finished, he sat down and the room became
silent. Cara didn’t think about why she stood up, she just did. All eyes were
on her and she bit her lip nervously. Subconsciously, she traced the band of
strength on her left ring finger as she met the gaze of some of the people who
looked at her.

           
“My name is Cara and…” She took a deep breath and felt
the tears form in her eyes. “I am an addict.” She whispered hoarsely. Once the
words slipped from her mouth, she released a heavy breath. The words suddenly
made her feel lighter. “If it’s okay, I’d rather just listen and find the
strength like you all have to share my story.”

           
She was treated to a few nods before Rick spoke up. “Thank
you Cara.” He smiled softly and with reassuring eyes told her, it was okay. She
slowly slid back into her chair and continued to take it all in. Somewhere in
between the cries for redemption and the confessions of guilt, she started to
reflect on her own story. She began to work it out in her head, how she would
share the road that led her here.

           
Would she begin with the same sentence she told the
counselor when she went for her assessment? Would she say my fiancée died or
would she begin at the beginning? Jake’s dying didn’t break Cara, she realized.
Maybe she was broken long before he was ever sick and she just never dealt with
it. Jake had a way of making her forget her life wasn’t perfect. That was why
she gravitated to him at first. He never once made her feel damaged or
inadequate. He accepted her flawed and all and wound up loving her despite
those flaws.

           
She was so consumed by her thoughts she hadn’t noticed
that the group began to break up and people started to stand. The session was
over and she noted that she could cross another step in her journey off her
list. She rose to her feet and slowly filtered out of the room of strangers
that had opened up to her.

           
She walked back towards her room, craving the solitude,
hoping that maybe she could discover more about herself than she thought she
knew. She walked down the narrow hallway that led straight to her room and
stumbled for a moment, having the oddest sense of déjà vu overcome her.

She
kept walking down the narrow passageway until she reached a door that had a
sign on it that read “Employees Only”. She slipped her hand into her back
pocket and pulled out a single key.
 
Once
she had turned the key in the lock, she opened the door and stepped inside. She
wasn’t alone. She closed the door behind them. The only light illuminating the
office was the
screen
saver of the computer. Luke turned around and his eyes met Cara’s.

           
She
stood in front of her room, with her hand braced on the door knob. She shook
her head, dismissing the thought and stepped inside her room, closing the door
behind her. She began to work the buttons of the cardigan she was wearing, and
wondered where the thermostat was so she could turn down the heat. It hit her
again, that feeling that she was reenacting a moment in her life.

She
started to undo the buttons on her shirt. “Is this what you want?”

She
said through gritted teeth. “Huh?”

Luke’s
eyes widened as he took a step backward. The backs of his legs hit the front of
the desk as he watched her unbutton the last button. “Cara…” He warned.

She
pulled her shirt off vigorously. “Everyone can see it, you know… the way you
look at me.” She reached behind her unclasping her bra.
 
She cocked her head and brought her hands in
front of her. She crossed her arms at her chest as her fingertips trailed over
the straps of her bra. “Like I’m some forbidden fruit.”

           
She
gasped and fumbled with the buttons, stopping her trembling hands from
finishing the task of shedding the cardigan. Why was her mind playing tricks on
her? Was this another side effect? She balled her hands into fists and walked
to the bed. She sat on the edge and closed her eyes, willing the craziness to
stop.

“I’ll
never be yours, you know.” She whispered.

“I
know.” He said as he lifted his hand to touch her cheek.

           
“Stop!”
She reprimanded herself as she ran her fingers through her hair roughly,
tugging at the strands. She shook her head vigorously trying to banish the
thoughts that took over her mind. What had even provoked these images, she
wondered? They were so vivid, so real. She could almost feel his calloused hand
on her cheek. Her body shuddered and she decided she needed to sleep. She
needed to dream. In her dreams she was safe and her mind didn’t haunt her. She
pulled down the comforter and crawled beneath the sheets burying her face in
the pillow, praying her mind would shut down and she could succumb to sleep.

 
* * * * *

           
Luke
walked into the office he shared with Nick and stopped in his tracks when he saw
Nick sitting behind the desk with legs propped up on a crate. He hadn’t even
heard him step into the office. Nick was too engrossed in the book he was
reading. Luke squinted to read the title and had to cover his mouth to hold
back the laughter. The poor bastard was reading “Fifty Shades Of Grey.”

           
“Your
manliness just declined a bit.” Luke said, interrupting his friend.

           
Nick
peered up from the book with an unreadable expression on his face. “Holy shit!
Did you read this thing?” He said before he folded down the page he was on and
threw the book onto the desk.

           
“No,
I haven’t.” Luke said and searched the rack on the wall for the keys to the
Denali he was working on. “Glad to know I’m out there busting my ass and your
reading romance novels.”

           
“It’s
not really a romance novel is it? I think it’s the bible for women.” Nick said
and stood up stretching out his back.

           
Luke
grabbed the keys he was looking for and glanced over at his partner. “Mind
taking a break from…” he picked up the book. “… E.L. James and maybe doing some
work?”

           
“I
will have you know I replaced the transmission on the Silverado parked in the
lot.” Nick said crossing his arms against his chest.

           
“Wow.
This place would crumble without you.” Luke said sarcastically as he skimmed
the pages of the book, raising his eyebrows once or twice.

           
“Sam
has Mallory and Phillip coming over tonight to hang window treatments.” He
rolled his eyes and cringed at the thought of fabric samples. “Why don’t you
and I grab a few beers at Rudy’s?” He paused and then grinned. “Maybe Helena
will be there.”

           
“That
was your conquest, not mine.” Luke said as he dropped the book back on the desk
and looked at him evenly. “By the way, tell Sam I booked the flights. Cara is
flying down with me and Ava.”

           
Nick
raised an eyebrow. “You spoke with Cara?”

           
Luke
met his gaze. “Yeah, she called last night.” He said as he shoved one hand into
his pocket. “She sounds good, despite the circumstances.”

           
“That’s
good.” Nick said and then cocked his head to the side as he peered at Luke some
more.

           
“What?”
Luke said, feeling his scrutiny.

           
Nick
remained still for a moment before he shook his head. “Nothing.”

           
“Good,
then you mind doing some work around here?” Luke answered quickly before
turning around and heading out of the office.

* * * * *

“Open
your eyes and look at me.” He whispered gruffly. Her eyes fluttered open under
his command as he drove himself back into her, her body arching in response.