Forever and Always (25 page)

“
I did it. I ended it with
her, the love of my life, the apple of my eye, the skip in my step,
but only because I didn’t realize that’s what she was. For some
inexplicable, illogical reason, I actually thought—imagined—that I
was doing the right thing. That somehow choosing the whore was the
right choice, even though my Scarlet is perfect in every way. Not
only is she beautiful with a jaw-dropping physique, exquisite tits,
and legs that make me want to fuck her just by looking at them, but
she is the most wonderful girl in the world. She loves me more than
any other—including my parents and my family. This girl would die
for me and be happy to do it. She watches baseball and gets into it
more than I do, and this hot chick can eat a whole pizza by herself
and then ask if I want ice cream. She understands when to push me
and other times when to hold back. Scarlet completes me in every
way. What the fuck am I doing? Don’t do this, Sean! Why the fuck
are you doing this? You are going the wrong fucking way.

“
And then the ultimate
betrayal came. I thought the whore and I were together—back to
where we were—but it wasn’t right. Everything was different—nothing
was the same. The sex was passionless and empty. The feel of her
lips was cold and hard, like kissing a desiccated corpse in the
desert. She didn’t talk to me. She didn’t ask me about my day. She
would rather watch the Real Housewives than watch a nature show
like Scarlet and I did. She went down on me, but only because I
asked her to. It wasn’t what I wanted. She wasn’t my Scarlet. That
was the moment I knew—I just made the biggest mistake of my life.
Scarlet was the one—she had always been. I went the wrong
way.

“
This is the darkest part.
I found old pain killers in my cabinet and started mixing them with
rum. It was enough at first, but then I need more. I needed
something else. Scarlet was the drug I needed. I needed her to pull
me out. She was the only thing that could. But I didn’t deserve
her. I was a fucking jackass that deserved to die. She shouldn’t
even come to my funeral. I didn’t blame her if she didn’t show.” I
felt the tears behind my eyes when I read on, remembering how much
pain he had been in. He was half-alive, mostly dead, and so weak. I
knew how much he needed me at that moment, and even then, I wanted
to take him back, but I knew I couldn’t. Now I wished I had. “It
wasn’t the loss of Penelope that drove me into that stage of utter
confusion and the blackness of an abyss. It was the loss of My
Scarlet—she was everything to me. Why did it take me so long to
figure it out? And why did it have to be when I was so high that I
couldn’t tell the ceiling from the floor? Or my nose from my anus?
I continued to fall, hoping that death would catch me.

“
Then things got better.
My Scarlet came to me and nursed me back to health. She shouldn’t
have come but I was so happy that she did. A part of me knew she
would. The feel of her touch helped me live again, knowing she
still loved me, and maybe wanted me. I knew how much I hurt her
when I listened to her cry. Why the fuck did I do this to her? What
the fuck is wrong with me? Stop Sean!

“
The cab pulled down the
street and I knew my heart was in the backseat of that cab, sitting
next to Scarlet as she returned home—Scarlet was
mine
. She had always
been mine. I had to go back to her. I had to try. I didn’t deserve
her, but I would do anything to prove my love for that girl—prove
that I was a changed man—that I could be
her
Sean. I could make it right if I
just had one more chance—just one more.

“
Scarlet screamed at me
with tears in her eyes and I knew how much she hated me. She didn’t
want me anymore—we were done. I went back to my apartment and
stayed in bed for days, doing nothing but waiting for death to take
me.

“
Only in the midst of a
tragedy did I get what I want—something I would never want. Scarlet
had been denied what was rightfully hers by her very own mother. I
hated what this woman had done to my girl, the love of my life, my
future wife. I wanted to kill this bitch. It was only when I chased
away Scarlet’s demons could I get her back. I constantly worked on
righting the wrongs that had been done to Scarlet. There was a way
I could get her inheritance if I was just diligent and never gave
up. Eventually, I won and the check was sent in the mail. That’s
why My Scarlet called me. I wasn’t sure what she wanted. We were
done and she would never know what I did for her, but I was fine
with that. As long as she was happy, it didn’t matter. But she
kissed me—took me back. And I was happy; Joyous, stupendous, insane
with happiness that I had Scarlet and she was mine. For the first
time, she was My Scarlet.
Mine
. I wasn’t going to let her
go—ever. I can never be tempted with another girl, another life,
another cheat because I finally had what other men dream of, a
fiancé that is my best friend and my greatest lover. Wait, I
haven’t gotten to that part yet.” I stopped and looked up at him,
unsure what he meant. He was smiling at me, with his hand in his
pocket. I picked up where I left off. “After we moved in together,
I bought the ring, had it custom made, of course, and asked her
brother for permission. He gave me his approval with a hug, and I
decided to ask her. I wanted to ask her a long time ago, but I
wanted to wait, make sure she was ready to commit to me. What if
she changed her mind about me? What if she couldn’t trust me? What
if she didn’t love me? I wanted to make love to her, but I wanted
her to know it would be the first of the rest of our lives—I wasn’t
going anywhere. So, I got down on one knee.” I stopped and looked
up at Sean. He was kneeling on the floor in front of me, smiling as
he held the ring out to me.

“
Keep going,” he
said.

I looked back at the book, but my
vision was starting to blur from the tears. I found the sentence.
“I didn’t ask her and she didn’t answer. There was no need.” That
was the last line. I put down the book and looked at him. He still
held out the ring to me.

“
I’m not going to ask
you,” he said as he grabbed my hand. He put the ring on my finger
and it sparkled in the light. I couldn’t believe this was happening
and how romantic it was. I knew Sean regretted our past, but he
knew the events of our lives only made us stronger as a couple. If
we could get through all of that, then we really were meant for
each other.

I wiped my tears away. “And I’m not
going to answer.”

Sean rose to a stand and kissed my
tears away. I wrapped my arms around him and held him tightly,
letting myself feel the moment of pure joy. Sean held me and said
nothing for a while then he kissed me gently.

“
That was beautiful,
Sean,” I whispered. “I’m so happy.”

“
Not as beautiful as My
Scarlet.”

I smiled at him. “I like
that.”

“
Good,” he said. He turned
the ring on my finger, exposing the bottom of the white gold.
Engraved in the metal were the words,
My
Scarlet
.

Sean stared at me for a moment then
grabbed my face and kissed me. His fingers still held my hand that
wore the engagement ring, and he played with it while he kissed me.
He moved his hands to my neck then ran his fingers through my hair.
His hand slid down my chest until he reached the end of my shirt
then he pulled it over my head. My heart raced in my chest as I
realized that we were finally doing this.

“
I think you are ready,”
he said as he unclasped my bra and let it fell to the
floor.

“
About time,” I said as I
unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it from his body.

Sean laughed despite the seriousness
of the moment. “You deserve a special moment.”

Sean grabbed me in his arms then laid
me on the bed. He removed my pants and underwear then removed his
own. Soon his naked body was touching mine and I felt my body lose
control as he crawled on top of me. The lit candles in the room
glowed brightly, and the soft rose petals caressed my skin on the
bed. All of that, in addition to his proposal, made the tears fall
from my eyes. He kissed them away while he separated my legs with
his own.

“
I love you,” I
whispered.

“
I love you,
too.”

I moaned as I felt him move within me.
Sean kissed me as he rocked my body, and I felt the tightness in my
frame as Sean brought me to climax, where I whispered his name over
and over until it passed. Somehow, the lovemaking was even better
than last time. I felt connected to him in a way that I never had.
Perhaps it was because I knew this was it—the real thing. Sean was
completely committed to me in every way. There was no one else.
Sean sucked on my bottom lip gently and the touch made me charged
all over again. I gripped his back as the feeling of pleasure
expanded through me and took complete dominance over my mind. I
pressed my forehead against his, and breathed into his mouth as I
lost control of my movements. I moaned loudly as he made me explode
again.

“
You’re the best I ever
had,” I whispered.

“
That’s because you love
me.” He breathed deeply near my ear. “And only me.” Sean ran his
hands through my hair as I massaged his back gently. His body
stiffened under my touch and I knew he was meeting his euphoria
too. I whispered my love for him into his ear as he came inside me,
surrendering his entire soul to me. Sean stared at me until he
finished then rested his forehead against mine.

I ran my hands through his hair as I
met his gaze. “I’m glad we waited,” I said.

Sean kissed me. “Good,” he said. “I
hope it was everything you wanted it to be.”

“
It was.” I smiled at him.
“But I’m not waiting ever again.”

Sean laughed. “You can be a total slut
now.”

“
And I will. I want you to
fuck my brains out.”

“
And I will,” he said with
a smile. “Let’s go to Mega-Shake,” he said. “Everyone is waiting
for us.”

“
They are?” I said
sadly.

“
What’s wrong?”

I pulled him closer to me. “Let’s stay
here.”

Sean laughed. “We have the rest of our
lives.”

“
Fine,” I sighed. “But as
soon as we get home, you’re mine.”

“
I expect nothing less,”
he said as he got up and dressed himself. “I’ll make your legs
shake, babe.”

When I changed my clothes, I looked at
the ring on my finger and admired its beauty and shine. The
diamonds were sparkling even in the dim lighting of the room. The
candles still flickered, and the rose pedals were in disarray from
our lovemaking.

“
That was so romantic,
Sean,” I said. “I never took you as a sentimental guy.”

“
Only for you,” he said as
he grabbed my hand. “Let’s go. Everyone is getting
anxious.”

We took a cab to the restaurant, and I
continued to admire my ring. “It’s beautiful,” I said.

“
I’m glad you like it.
Everyone helped me pick it out. It was difficult for all of us to
go without your knowledge.”

“
You needed all of them?”
I asked with a laugh.

“
Well, they are all your
family,” he said as he held my hand. “They had the right to be
involved.”

“
So, that’s why Cortland
took me to lunch?” I said. “So you could get ready?”

“
Yes.” He
smiled.

“
You’re
sneaky.”

The cab stopped in front of the
restaurant and as soon as we walked inside, everyone jumped and
yelled “Surprise!” There was banner across the room that said,
CONGRATULATIONS SEAN AND SCARLET. There was no one else in the
restaurant and Sean recognized my thought.

“
We rented it out,” he
explained.

Ryan walked over to me and hugged me,
lifting me from the ground as he spun me in a circle. “I’m so happy
for you,” he said. “I love you.”

“
I love you,
too.”

Ryan turned to Sean. “Thank you so
much,” he said as they shook hands.

“
For what?” Sean
asked.

“
Now I don’t have to deal
with her anymore.”

“
You are going to tease me
during my engagement party?” I snapped.

Sean suddenly looked
uncomfortable. “Wait, so I have to deal with
all
of her problems?” he asked
hesitantly. “I thought she would still go to you.”

Ryan shook his head with smile. “Hell
no,” he said. “She’s your problem now.”

Sean turned to me with his palm raised
up. “Can I have my ring back?”

I hit him on the shoulder and Sean
laughed. “You’re stuck with me,” I said.

Sean wrapped his arm around me and
kissed my head. “I’m okay with that.”

I turned to Ryan. “And you are still
stuck with me and my problems. Just because I’m marrying Sean
doesn’t mean our relationship will change.”

Ryan made a sad face. “Damn it,” he
said.

I hit him on the shoulder then walked
away. Janice hugged me next and held me tightly. “I am so happy for
you,” she said in an excited voice. “It was so hard not to tell
you.”