Game Over (17 page)

Nigga please
, I thought to myself. I wish I would. Besides, Skip wasn’t having it even if I decided to go back. He was now calling me his girl. The first time he said it, it gave me goose bumps. I wasn’t ready to fall in love…but I needed security while I found a new job.

E
ventually, Fab and I spoke again a few weeks later. He strongly felt I was wrong for talking shit about him in the truck. I explained to him that I was fed up with how I was being treated. I also reminded him that I had gone above and beyond what my responsibilities were to him. I’d done things that weren’t even in the job description and never got acknowledged for it. Fab knew it was true and understood my feelings. We ended our conversation on a good note and I told him that if he ever needed me, I would always be around.

That wouldn’t change.

All I kept thinking about was that video. Yeah, I made him better.

Nothing but love for Fabolous.

19-
Mama, I Got Me A Balla

My new life with Skip felt like a
ghetto fairy tale. Since it was the off season, we were able to spend every moment together and truly get to know one another. He didn’t have any pressing schedules nor did I. It was just us two against the world hanging out, partying, and mingling with friends. Through him I met his friend JR and Skip got cool with my girls, Chrissy, Ebony and Chynae.

Everything
seemed perfect. We were truly playing house. I was cooking for him, nourishing his body while he took care of my mental. We shopped together and cuddled on the couch watching movies like we were married. Everything was so cool that when his birthday rolled around that July, I decided to throw him a party. I invited a few of our closest friends, including Chrissy, Ebony, Chynae, and Raheem. Raheem was my neighbor and we’d become close so I valued his opinion coming from a male about what to do for Skip. We surprised him with a beautiful cake that had the number of his jersey written across it—11. That was also the day I gave him the key to my apartment.

Skip was really my man. It felt weird to finally be able to say that and know it was true. I had never given any man besides Smiley my time like I was giving Skip. He felt the same way, bragging to his friends that he was giving me good loving; “Tearing my ass up every night,” as he would say. I laughed it off. It was funny.
And so untrue.

Yet, being with Skip
felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. Without Fab’s demands, I felt free. I was free to focus on building a relationship. I was free to be happy. It was amazing. It was like a whole new life.  There was only one thing that made things very shaky between us. It was a problem that no one would have ever guessed. I chose to keep it a secret from everyone except my closest friends because it would make Skip look sketchy.

That same problem sent me backsliding. Seriously, I did make a strong attempt at being faithful to Skip. We were a month into our relationship and I was struggling to keep things one hundred with him. In my defense, the whole being faithful concept was kind of new to me. I was used to being free. Cutting my past ways lo
ose was like quitting crack cold turkey. That’s why when Young Berg called out of nowhere and asked me to come see him, the shit was like dangling raw meat in front of a pit bull. I knew I shouldn’t have accepted. I knew what would most likely go down. But, being faithful was something I struggled with.

I headed downtown to meet Young Berg at his hotel room in
Times Square. He was in town to do a performance at The Lime Light in Manhattan. I’d first met Young Berg just a few months prior. I was with Chrissy one day when she needed to drop off some clothes to Jimmy at the “Sexy Lady” video shoot. Jimmy was being featured in the video. I was introduced to Berg and we both knew immediately there was chemistry between us. It was strange because he was ten years younger than me. I’d never fooled with a man that young. Later on, because of our age difference, he began to call me his “Old Head”.

Nevertheless
, since the chemistry was there, we talked and eventually exchanged numbers. Afterward, we talked pretty often once he went back to his hometown in Chicago. A lot of the conversations led to us talking about eventually getting together to mess around.  Of course, I kept the conversations secret from Skip. I didn’t want to jack up a good thing. But despite not wanting to take a chance on hurting what Skip and I were building, I still found myself in Young Berg’s hotel room. I felt guilty in the beginning but it eventually faded.

As we chilled, I loved staring at
such a young, beautiful specimen of a man. His youth turned me on. I loved his boyish looks, his smile, his pretty eyes, his small frame. He was cute. He also had a nice swagger and rocked it well. Shit, I wanted to fuck him right then and there. I can’t lie about it. I was mad curious to see if his little ass could handle a woman like me, especially after all the shit he’d been talking to me during our phone conversations. I truly had plans to turn him out. I quickly found out though that I’d underestimated him.

T
hat little dude was a full blown beast in bed. What I liked about his sex game most was that he took his time. He didn’t just climb in and start roughing me off. He gave me excellent foreplay filled with soft kisses and caresses. He tasted my body, enjoying it like he was eating a meal. I was surprised by his performance. I would’ve never expected that from someone so young. I was also surprised by his size. I mean, Berg had a huge package and knew exactly how to use it. On top of all that, he was long lasting too. He reminded me of the Energizer Bunny. In the end, he had me sucking wind.

Despite th
at slip up, I tried to make my relationship work with Skip. But just two months into the relationship, we faced another problem. In August of that year, Skip got into a fight with another man at a New York nightclub. During the fight, someone from Skip’s crew slashed the man’s neck. We had no idea how much trouble that incident would cause him until his lawyer called and told him to turn himself in. That ordeal turned out to be a nightmare. Afterwards, Skip’s lawyers assured him the situation would play itself out and there would be no heavy consequences. But the Houston Rockets had something to say about it. They had him fly back to Texas immediately. That fight initiated another chapter in my life.

When Skip returned to
Houston he said he was sure the Rockets were going to trade him. He told me about all the trade rumors that had been swirling around. Some information came from his teammates, and other times it was from more reputable sources. It was at that point I learned much more about Skip than I’d expected. He told me that the team considered him a trouble maker. In the past, he’d had some issues and had now developed a reputation for being the initiator of problems. The team had begun to think he didn’t know how to disconnect his past life in the streets from the one the NBA now provided. They were basically fed up.

Shortly after
our initial talk, he called me and said, “Winter, I’m being traded to Orlando. I want you to come with me.”

I was stunned
that he would want me with him. I couldn’t believe it.

“I really want you with me,” he continued. “I promise I’ll take care of you.”

I told him that was a serious move. I’d only known him less than three months. I needed time to think about it. He said okay and we hung up. I spoke to Chrissy about it, definitely needing some of her advice. She was pretty much batting a thousand up until that point so I took her words for the gospel at that time.

“Girl do it,” she said. “Put your all into him
. Make that relationship work.”

After talking to Chrissy, I sat alone and thought back on my life. I saw all the face
s: Smiley, Nino, Big Money, Dame Dash, etc, etc. I thought about old memories, friendships and emotions. I thought about everything that had affected my heart. Everything that had made me laugh and cry. I thought about how many times I’d played and had
been
played. It all overwhelmed me. It had all been done and experienced in a search for happiness.

Even though I talked a good game about not wanting to be tied down and
showing little emotions, a part of me wanted to finally settle down. The realization shone through like a bright, blinding light. This was the moment I’d been waiting for all my life. I’d finally found what I was looking for. With Skip, I now had stability, money, someone who truly cared for me, and a future. I no longer had to work from sun up to sun down. I no longer had to hustle or look for my next meal ticket. I now had the chance to be treated like the queen I’d always dreamed of. The world was finally mine.

I did it.

I decided to move over a thousand miles away from home to be with my man. I didn’t look back. I planned to settle in with Skip like he’d done with me. I planned for our feelings to grow deeper than before. I truly wanted it to work. There was one problem though. I wanted to show him how much I appreciated him in that one special way every woman wants to show her man she cared for him…

I wanted to wh
ip it on him!

After yet another denial, I couldn’t hold the fact that we’d never been sexual with one another a secret any longer.
Even though Ebony, Chrissy and Chynae knew that Skip and I never screwed, I hoped that maybe Raheem or one of Skip’s boys would provide some sort of explanation from a male perspective. It wasn’t like I was holding the pussy hostage. He was my man so I was throwing it at him every chance I got, especially after a night of drinking. Just like any other hormonal woman, when I got liquor in my system I wanted to get butt naked and work out like a beast. But for some reason, Skip didn’t. I didn’t know what the problem was. Damn near every time Ebony would see me after that, she would ask, “Did ya’ll do it yet?” There were always jokes coming from her along with my other friends. Somehow I found it funny too.

When I would ask Skip what was up, he just told me he respected me and wanted to wait. I accepted that but
I remained horny. I dealt with it, anxiously waiting, wondering what it would finally be like to get the real thing. September of that year rolled around. I had packed my clothes but left everything else and moved to Orlando with my mother. Skip hadn’t got there yet but he paid for everything. The move excited me. My future excited me. I could see myself sitting in the sky boxes with the other NBA wives as my husband balled up and down the court. I couldn’t wait to see what that experience would be like.

Everything started out well. While in
Orlando I had a chance to bond with my mother and stepfather. I also had a brother in his teens that I had only seen maybe nine or ten times out of my entire life. I enjoyed getting a chance to build a relationship with him. Seeing him mature and learning about his personality intrigued me, and I realized I’d missed out on so much family time.

I hadn’t lived with Jackie since I was 12 years old, although I stayed with her off and on until she married my stepfather when I was 11 and moved to the Poconos. Since then we hadn’t spent a whole lot of time together. Now we were getting a chance to make up for lost time. I found out we were both reading the book, “The Secret” when I told her my plan to be married soon and ha
ve a child shortly thereafter. My mother’s response was, “Winter, when your gut tells you something, that’s God talking so listen.”

Just watching her mannerisms and hearing her voice when
she reacted to certain situations did something to me. Through watching her I learned a lot about myself. Plus her wisdom was more than what I expected to obtain while in Orlando. Through my mother, I matured in a short period of time.

The move was a drastic change for me
but obviously a good one. And as I look back, it was the slowest point of my life for the past ten years. I was finally able to relax and do things normal people do. Instead of always watching the clock and having to answer my phone, I was able to sit in the nail salon and enjoy a pedicure and manicure. I was able to cook dinner with my mom and gossip. I was able to sit on the couch and watch television and sometimes we’d even shop until we dropped, since Skip regularly sent me five thousand a month. Damn, it felt good.

M
y mom and I also talked a lot. She even told me how she felt when Fab got shot.

“I wanted you gone from there,” she said. “That wasn’t the place for you if the person you worked for got people shooting at him.”

I asked her if she’d forgotten how strong of a female I was. I’m different than most. She just shook her head.

Although I loved catching up on my relationship with my family, I missed Skip. Somehow he was still on The H
ouston Rocket’s roster. Neither of us knew why, or maybe he did and just wasn’t telling me. Also, Orlando was extremely lame. I was getting bored out of my mind, especially now that I had so much time on my hands. And as the old saying goes; “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.” When I wasn’t with my family, I was sneaking back and forth to Miami at least three nights a week where I kicked it with Alyah an old flame of Fab’s who lived there. Yeah, it was wrong but I needed some sense of normalcy. I wasn’t seeing Skip a lot, other than when The Rockets played The Magic or the Heat. Our relationship had dwindled down to spending most of our time on the phone other than those few times we’d meet up. Still, no sex.

In November Skip began to work with developers in
Miami on a new condo community at the W Hotel on South Beach where he was buying a condo as an investment property. I drove from Orlando to meet him. I couldn’t wait to see him. But shortly after I arrived, we got some bad news from the developer.

“Mr. Alston, the property won’t be ready until March of 08,
” he stated.

I was disappointed
to say the least. March was four months away. There was no way I could take staying in Orlando and being bored to death for that long. I could continue to sneak back and forth to Miami but I knew Skip would find out if I kept doing it. He wouldn’t have approved of it.

Damn, I didn’t want to stay in
Orlando any longer than I had to. I mean kicking it with my family was cool and everything but I needed a life. I guess I’d grown so used to the limelight that I was starting to miss it; at least some of it. I seriously thought about going back to New York but Chrissy had told me she’d already rented my old place out since I had claimed Florida as my new home.