Heart of Glass (34 page)

Ben grinned as I squeezed
through the crowd towards him. “I didn’t know you were coming
tonight.”

“
I wasn’t, but Justin and
Prue have gone to see Lush. I thought I’d come and catch up with a
few people from Uni.”

Ben looked as if he wasn’t
convinced. “Didn’t they invite you?”

“
They did, but Coops is
going too and things are a bit strained between us. Maybe next
time.” I looked up at him and smiled. He couldn’t find fault with
that; it was plausible.

“
Aren’t you going to
introduce me?” I asked. The two blokes standing next to him were
clearly waiting for an introduction.

“
Sorry, um…. this is Rob
and David. They work with me.”

He seemed a little
flustered.

“
Hi, I’m Bella. Ben and I
have been friends since school. Are you architects too?” I looked
at Ben and smirked. Anyone could project a calm sereneness, even
me. I projected the calmness of a buddhist monk.

Rob spoke first. “No. I’m an
architect, but David is in Project Management.”

“
Ben hasn’t told me much
about his job. Sounds like a big company.”

“
It is. That’s why we
needed Ben on board. His contacts and expertise in the field are a
great asset.”

“
He always was good in
fields. Quite handy with a daisy or two as well.”

“
I’d never have picked you
for a flower arranger, Ben,” David laughed.

Ben looked as if he wanted
to throttle me. His face had turned quite pink. “We went camping,
once,” he muttered.

I watched, a twinge of
amusement on my lips. It was good to beat him at his own game for
once.

“
Guess you had to be there,
right?”

“
Something like that,” Ben
said. His eyes had taken on that glint, warning me I was treading
on very thin ice.

“
Sounds like the band’s
started,” I said. “Think I might go for a look.”

“
I might come too,” he
said.

It was just as I had
wanted.

We walked down the hall and
into a smoky cavern, which was the back room. The space was small,
with black theatre curtains draped around the walls, which did
little for the acoustics but was wonderful for enhancing the
atmosphere. We stood in a corner; a good viewing spot but pitch
black as far as any sort of lighting went. It was the ideal venue
for the seduction to begin. All I had to do was smile and
wait.

“
You’ve changed.” Ben said,
as we stood listening.

“
In what way?”

“
You used to be so
innocent, so scared of everything. You’d never have gone into a
room by yourself. You’re so confident now, not so
needy.”

“
Is that good or bad?” Some
men liked their women needy; it gave them control. In hindsight, it
was probably why Mark had found me so desirable. When I’d asserted
my independence, he’d run for the hills or to the needle,
anyway.

“
It’s a very good
thing.”

I quivered. Suddenly, my
confidence had run a mile. Ben had taken control of the game with
one sentence.

The band was playing one of
their original tunes. “I love this band,” I said. “They’re great to
dance to.”

Ben leant against the wall
of curtain, looking for all the world like he wanted to pounce on
me. “Is that an invitation?”

“
What? No. Let’s listen for
a while.”

Shrugging, he turned to face
the stage, his eyes on the band, and I felt the warmth of his arm
as it grazed mine. He was wearing a heavy mohair jumper that night,
knitted in the darkest of grey wool that made the colour of his
eyes stand out more than usual. I looked at it clinging to his
shoulders, the whiteness of his t-shirt underneath contrasting with
his tanned skin, and imagined what it would be like to be enfolded
in its fluffy softness. I gulped at my drink, not even noticing the
ice had melted into the glass and the alcohol was warm. I wouldn’t
have cared anyway. Ben was with me. That was all I
wanted.

“
Sure you don’t want to
dance?” Ben asked.

“
I’m good.”

“
Okay. Want another drink?
I’m going to the bar.”

“
Thanks.” I drained my
glass and handed it to him. He disappeared through the
doors.

It seemed like an eternity
before he returned and we stood, awkward, not knowing what to do.
It was a weird sensation, as if we were both waiting for the other
to make a move because we were too afraid to do it
ourselves.

“
What do you want?” he
said, at last.

“
What do you
mean?”

“
Why’d you come here? Are
you trying to seduce me?” He looked me up and down and I turned to
jelly.

“
I don’t want anything.” I
tried to sound innocent or girlish but let’s face it, it was a long
time between drinks, and I was neither anymore.

His brow
furrowed.

“
Let’s dance then.” And
taking the drink from my hand, he put it on an empty table and
propelled me onto the dance floor. Our bodies were pressed tight as
we made a space for ourselves in the tiny square that was reserved
for dancing. We were so close, I could have reached up and kissed
him and it took all my willpower not to. He looked so beautiful,
all clean-shaven, but he had to make the first move. It had to come
from him. My only wish was that he’d hurry. Being close and not
touching him was the worst kind of torture.

“
It’s been a long time,” he
said.

A tingle of pleasure rushed
down my spine. It had been too long. But I hadn’t forgotten the
feel of him, the firmness of his body. It was the same, capable of
sending me into a hideous delusional bliss from the merest touch.
Hesitant, my arms crept to that place around his neck where I could
feel his pulse, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
His golden head was bent, watching my body and I could feel his
heart pounding, doing double time to the rhythm of the drums as his
hips pushed temptingly against me. I wanted him that badly if he’d
thrown me to the floor and taken me right there, I wouldn’t have
uttered a single objection, not even when they arrested me for
public indecency.

The closeness of the room
was stifling and with the heat generated between us, I was
convinced I was going to explode with desire at any minute. My body
was inventing a rhythm all of it’s own as his hips rubbed against
me and his hands slid over my bottom. I ached and burnt as he
squeezed my arse and my heart had jumped somewhere into my throat
as we danced but neither of us made a move. Almost orgasmic with
excitement, I was convinced that if he didn’t do something soon I
was going to die.

To my great relief the dance
ended, at last. How I'd ever thought I could take him on at his
game was beyond me. Even for all the experience I'd had, I suddenly
felt the novice.

“
That was good, thanks,” I
said.

“
I know you like to dance,”
he replied.

Oh shit. He was doing the
innuendo thing. I gulped. It was either rise to the challenge or
let him swamp me.

“
Mmm, but it makes me so
hot.”

He laughed. “Seems you’re
not as innocent as you use to be, Pussycat.”

I watched Ben finish his
beer, wondering what he would do next. His eyes had taken on a
determined look as he put down his empty glass and stepped towards
me, invading my personal space in the most delicious way. This was
it. This was what I'd waited for since the day he came back into my
life. I felt his hand slide over my shoulder, to twist in the hair
at the back of my neck as he moved even closer and pushed me into
the curtained wall.

“
Is this what you came
for?” he whispered, his breath hot against my lobe.

God, do it, I thought, kiss
me. I could hardly breathe.

His other hand captured my
hip, pushing me further into the blackness as he rest against me.
“Don’t play games with me, Bella. You know I always
win.”

Maybe in your mind, I
thought, but not this time. This time I was achieving my heart’s
desire. A little quicker than I’d imagined, but I was a winner all
the same.

“
It’s not a game.” I sucked
in a breath, as his hand pressed hard against my hip and his body
leant along the length of mine.

“
Then what do you want?” he
asked, again.

“
I want you.”

“
I thought you’d never
ask.”

His mouth was on mine, his
lips fiercely claiming me, moving, pressing against my mouth,
awakening something in me I never dreamed I’d have again. I closed
my eyes and gave myself to him.

“
Oh, Ben,” I gasped, as the
tears ran down my face and I leant into his body trying to absorb
myself in him. All I wanted was for him to kiss me in the dark, to
make me his, forever.

Pulling the heavy black
curtain around us, he shielded us from the world. He plunged into
my mouth again, his kiss filled with the desperation I felt. The
room faded into oblivion, replaced by a hot dark space where our
lips met and slid across each other’s. The people no longer
existed. The band was no more than a jumble of sounds, for all I
could hear was the pounding of my heart and his huskiness in my
ear.

“
I want you so
much….”

I trembled. Nothing mattered
except that moment when he kissed me and I kissed him back. Again
and again and again.

At last, he stopped. His
eyes were glassy in the blackness and his face was
flushed.

“
I think we should continue
this elsewhere,” he murmured. “Let’s go home.”

***

Next to me, Ben lay asleep
with the sheet tossed across his torso, barely covering parts of
his body I'd come to know again over the last five or six hours.
The sun was streaming through the bedroom window and shining onto
his profile, sending hints of light through his white blonde hair.
I gazed at his chest, bare and firm with only a small smattering of
hair. Funny, he’d never had hair on his chest the last time… but
that had been years ago and even though he had professed to be a
man he had been a boy. His broad shoulders lay relaxed on the
mattress, his arm bent in sleep, in the position where I had lay
until I woke. This wasn’t a dream, Ben was in my bed.

With the tip of my finger I
reached over to caress his cheek. His lashes, dark against his tan,
fluttered as he stirred and woke. Registering his surroundings, he
looked at me and grinned, his voice was groggy.

“
Morning, Pussycat.” He
rolled onto his side and pulled me against him.

“
Sleep well?”

“
Like a baby.
You?”

“
Not a dream in
sight.”

“
Not even of
me?”

“
That wasn’t a dream,
tiger. It was real… at least I think it was.”

He rolled further and
smothered my face with kisses. “Let me show you how real it
was….”

Climbing out of bed a couple
of hours later, I pulled Ben’s woollen jumper over my body, and
headed for the kitchen for a glass of water. My new U2 album was
laying on the floor next to stereo, so putting it on the turntable,
I set the needle to the record. Reaching the bedroom as Bono began
to sing, I found Ben awake with his hands resting behind his head.
I walked over to the bed, and stood beside it, looking
down.

“
Nice.”

“
Is that all you can say?
Nice? I thought I looked pretty damn good for a guy who’s gone ten
rounds with Venus.”

“
Why, thank
you.”

Ben beamed up at me, his bed
hair making him look even more attractive and I melted all over
again. “Is that my jumper?”

“
It was the closest thing I
could find.”

“
Looks better on you,
anyway,” he laughed, as he crawled across the bed and knelt up to
kiss me. His hands clutched my bottom and a glint of devilishness
lit up his eyes. “Actually, you look quite cute.”

He laughed and flopped back
onto the bed. I snuggled into his arms. Through the open door, the
music was playing softly and his head cocked.

“
U2?” he asked.

“
Mmm. I love
them.”

We lay for a long time,
content, unmoving until, at last, I realised I had to face the
thing that I’d been trying to forget for all the years we’d been
apart. The drugs and sex, the drinking had not been enough to
diminish the way I felt. Ben was my life. I couldn’t deny
it.

“
It’s true,
Ben.”

“
What’s true?”

I sat up on my haunches
beside him. “The words of the song. All I want is you. It’s all
I’ve ever wanted. I love you more than the whole world.”

Ben was silent. His face was
calm but his eyes began to well up. He looked as if he would
cry.

“
You’re meant to be happy
when a girl tells you she loves you, not start blubbering,” I
faltered. “That’s my job.”