Heart of Glass (38 page)

“
I didn’t after the whole
Lucy thing but I can see now it was because I felt trapped. I never
loved her. I looked after her because I felt I had to. Besides her
breasts were far too big.”

“
Mine could become
enormous. What’ll you do then?”

“
Ha. I think that’s one
fantasy we both know’ll never eventuate, but whatever, I’m
here.”

That was what I was afraid
of.

“
You don’t have to look
after me. I don’t want you to stay because you feel you have to.
Your life’ll be so much easier if you go. I won’t hate you for
it.”

He picked at a lock of my
hair, twisting it in his fingers, his eyes deep in thought. “It may
be easier but it’d never be as good. And I like a challenge. If I
didn’t, I would’ve given up after the first time you said ‘no’ to
me.”

The sun had come out and the
wind had pushed the clouds away. A glorious rainbow was circling
the sky. It was a sign, I could feel it.

“
It’ll be
difficult.”

“
You’re the most difficult
girl I know. What’s going to change?”

“
I’ll have to have
treatment and there’s a chance it won’t work. The baby’s going to
need special care after the birth; it might even be born with the
virus. You’ll need to be vaccinated too, if you’re not infected
already.”

He kissed me again. His lips
were warm and reassuring. “Are you trying to get rid of me? Don’t
you think I can handle it?”

“
I want you to know. I want
you to be sure of why you’re staying.”

“
I am sure. I’m staying
because I love you and no matter what happens, we can get through
it if we’re together. Besides I have a bet to win.”

I frowned.

“
I bet Justin on the night
I met you again, that we’d get married. You’re not going to let me
down are you? It’s worth a couple of hundred.”

“
That depends.”

“
On?”

Rolling away, I took his
hand and led him up the path to the cottage. Parked on the grass
was his BMW. “On when you let me drive that car of yours. You know
that little black convertible does things to me.”

Rattling in his pocket, he
produced a set of keys and threw them in my direction. “Guess we
better get started then, but drive slowly. I’ve had enough
excitement today to last me for a very long time.”

I jumped into the driver’s
seat and turned the key in the ignition. The radio blared to life.
“Were you singing Bon Jovi again?” I joked, as I pressed the button
switching from radio to cassette.

“
Nope, very old Neil
Young,” he answered.

I never did get to drive
that car. I was too busy sobbing.

Epilogue

1989 - One Fine
Day

It was the way I’d imagined
it would be but without the church or the three bridesmaids or the
big white dress. The sunset was magical, washing over the ocean in
a mist of amber, gold and violet with not a cloud in the sky. I
walked along the sand and down to the water’s edge, with a posy of
white roses in one hand and his tiny hand in the other. Our little
joy. His golden hair and smile so like his father’s, his little
face so trusting as he smiled up into mine and made my life
complete.

As we reached the water’s
edge, I saw them turn and smile, their faces glowing with
happiness. All the people I loved most in the world –

Mum, “Why you couldn’t have
a normal church wedding is beyond me….”

I sighed.

Dad, “At least we won’t have
to fork out a fortune for some huge reception.”

I smiled.

Prue, “Oh my God –
sob
- I can’t stop
crying -
sniff
.”

I handed her the hankie I'd
bought with me for that very purpose.

Justin, “You look
beautiful.”

My smile grew.

Phil, “No, you look
stunning.”

I kissed his
cheek.

Coops, “I love you,
Bella.”

I hugged him and told him I
loved him too. I always would.

And Nick, “We could pop
into the sand dunes for a quickie,
Cara
. You’re not married
yet.”

I punched his forearm and he
pinched my bum.

Ben was there too, waiting
for us, his shoulders silhouetted against the setting of the sun.
On those shoulders, he carried my pain and all I burdened him with,
but in his heart he carried my love. He was, and always would be,
my Lancelot. My saviour. The man I cherished above all others, no
matter what I’d done before. I smiled my most glorious smile for
his eyes only. I reached him and a tear came to my eye as I
realised that I was truly blessed to have everything I ever wanted.
My happiness was absolute. He smiled back and passed his finger
gently over my cheek.

“
You look like an angel,”
he whispered, as he touched the heart of glass I wore about my
neck, the heart he had given me on my sixteenth
birthday.

“
You don’t look too bad
yourself.”

“
I told you we’d get
married one day,” he beamed.

“
I should’ve
listened.”

“
Ready?”

I nodded and gave my flowers
to Prue.

Together we stepped towards
the celebrant, holding hands, me on the left, Ben on the right and
our son in the middle. Together, we made the vows and lasting
commitment, although the promise of undying love had been made on
the night we first kissed all those years ago. Ten years ago to the
day. Nothing could keep us apart, nothing had. We were meant to be
together.

Later, they played that song
and we danced. It had taken me months to find it, lost in the
mountain of records and tapes that travelled with me everywhere I
went. It was our song. The song that always reminded me of Ben….
One Fine Day…. I knew that one day he’d want me for his
girl.

My life is like a song. A
warm and tender love song that makes you cry. Only this time I’m
crying tears of joy.

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