HIM (3 page)

I was ninety-nine percent positive I was going insane.

              …The other one percent was in favor of the theory that I already was.

I was in the beach house alone and afraid. 
He
had come back. He of all people came back.  And we were in the same room – my room – the one he’d violated me in all those months ago.  The one I hadn’t stepped into since that night.

              “What do you want?” I forced the shaken words out.  I was in disbelief I was actually speaking to him.

              “You know what I want,” his voice echoed strangely, shaking the walls around me – angry green eyes glared at me from across the room.  Something wasn’t right and not just the fact that he was here confronting me after all this time.

              “Please,” I shook as he somehow ended up in front of me cupping my face with both hands.  His rough thumb traced my lower lip.  I was trembling.

“Shhh,” he whispered, kissing my neck forcefully.  I closed my eyelids and tried to breathe.  When I opened them he lifted his head.  It was no longer him.

It was Jensen.

That’s when I woke up – a bead of sweat dripping from my forehead.  I sat up as I waited for my heart to slow down.  Tears slid down my tired face.

              Since the night of July Fourth I had dreams like this – facing
him
.  And then he’d try to kill me in multiple heart-stopping ways.  But this one was different, besides the fact it wasn’t nearly as bad as the others.  Jensen had been involved now.  In a crazy, menacing way it soothed me.

              The sun was shining through the ivory curtains.  The heat touched my back, calming my nerves with every ray.  I concentrated on breathing and convincing myself that
it was only a dream, Avalon.  It was only a dream . . . .

I stretched, threw on a pair of old sweats, then walked down the hall to the bathroom.  Today was a new day and I had to talk to Tory.  It felt like I hadn’t spoken with her, let alone seen her in days.  I shuddered, thinking about Tory leaving, abandoning me – alone, lost and afraid.  She was my family, practically blood.  And if anything ever happened to her I didn’t know what I’d do.  After brushing my teeth and washing my face I descended the large staircase overlooking a marble floor and plush black velvet couches; large pictures of succulents and lush peonies hanging overhead.

Luckily Tory’s parents had allowed us to decorate the home to our liking.  Any time we wanted to change something about it we did so, grateful that the Walt’s still let us use their Platinum whenever we wished.  Upon request we had cleaners come by twice a week to tidy up the place and maintain the growing shrubbery outside.  We had our own personal shoppers as well.  If we couldn’t make the shopping trip we would write down what we wanted – size, color, style –
anything
, and our personal shoppers would gladly get whatever our little hearts desired.  I rarely ever needed a personal shopper.  But it was a luxury.  And we were spoiled – especially Tory, who’d been taking advantage of this since the day she received the house.

              Tory was sitting on a high-back chair in her Moroccan-themed kitchen.  She was reading a magazine; wearing a pair of navy blue sweatpants and gray t-shirt with her short bleached blonde hair in a high ponytail.  Her neon pink painted nails shone under the large crystal chandelier overhead.  She wasn’t wearing any makeup – an unusual look for her.  She was always so put-together.

              “Hey Tory,” I yawned, taking a seat across from her.  “You look cute today.”  In fact she looked better as a natural beauty - without the fifty pounds of makeup on her face.  I told her that many times but she refused to listen to me.

              “Thanks,” she muttered in a tired voice.  She half-smiled, flipping through the magazine, looking down.  “How’d you sleep?” No eye contact whatsoever.

              “Fine, thanks,” I fibbed.  I couldn’t let her know about the disturbing dream I’d had . . . again.  She didn’t know about those.  No one did.  People would think I was nuts.

              “That’s good.”

“Thanks for helping me out the other night,” I said, referring to when she’d brought me into the house.  “And also for the lip-gloss.  I love it.”  I’d been in my room the entire day yesterday – sulking – so I didn’t have the chance to thank her then.

“What are friends for?”  She turned the page, staring at her horoscope.  She was a big believer in Astronomy and science – lived for the stars and Universe above.

I looked around the room observing how neat and tidy things were.  After the party our cleaning crew must have showed up – just like every other time – to take care of the multitude of imperfections I was sure occurred the other night.

“How was your chat with Jensen yesterday?” she asked suddenly, taking a sip of tea from a vintage mug she’d acquired on a vacation in Paris two years ago.

My breath caught in my throat.  I hoped he hadn’t told her anything.  “Fine,” I said nonchalantly, “why do you ask?”

              “’Cause he left here looking…upset.”

              “Really?  Why?”  I had my suspicions as to why that could be.

              “I don’t know,” she sighed.  “He looked…weird.  Like not himself.”  She quickly flipped through the magazine, not glancing at the bizarre, quirky and ridiculous celebrity gossip she always loved reading about.

              “That’s strange.”  I recalled our heated discussion.  Tory’s expression hadn’t changed since I entered the room.  “Hey, are you alright?”  I’d been so caught up in myself these past few months, I barely knew what was going on with my best friend – something I wasn’t proud of in the slightest.  In fact I was pretty ashamed of how I’d been acting – like a zombie.

              “Uh, yeah,” she said, hand resting on her chest.  She always wore a seahorse necklace given to her by her boyfriend of two and a half years.  However, she wasn’t wearing it today.

              “Tory, what happened with Adam?” I was worried.  She took a deep breath.  A small tear traveled down the path of her pale cheek.

“It’s over,” she sniffled.  The whole time we’d been talking she was staring down at the magazine.  And now I knew why:  Her face was puffy – a deep shade of red, chocolate brown eyes wet with salty tears.

              “Tor, what happened?”  I asked, giving her a much-needed hug.  She sobbed against me, sniffling once again.

              “He just called me up and said we needed to end things.”

              “What?” I gasped.  “Why?”

              “Adam…met someone else.”  That was her biggest fear – having a long distance relationship and having another girl take him from her.  They’d been together since their freshman year of university.  But Adam was going to Penn State University after transferring out of New York University last year so it was a struggle for them to see each other as often as they’d like to.  As far as I knew they planned on marrying one another.  Obviously Adam’s plans had changed.

Although Tory loved to party and drink she never cheated on Adam. 
Ever
.  She knew her limit with alcohol.  And if guys hit on her and they didn’t get the message that she was taken she’d kick them in a place no guy would like to be harmed.  I’d never seen anyone love another being so much.  I was completely appalled by this situation that was causing my friend total and complete pain.

“He said he’s
in love
with her…she’s
something new
.  Like she’s a car he just bought or whatever.  It’s sickening.”  She sulked, both hands covering her eyes so she could hide behind them as she cried some more.

              “Oh my goodness, Tory,” I whispered, “I’m so sorry.”  I gave her another hug.  “When did this happen?”

              “Last night after Jensen left.”

Jensen . . . .

              “Why didn’t you come to me then?”

              “I didn’t want to bother you,” she sighed.

              “You wouldn’t have bothered me,” I explained, a knot forming in the pit of my stomach.  I didn’t like where this was going.

              “It’s just that I know you’re still like not all better so I didn’t want to concern you or anything with my like…petty problems.”  She wiped at her eyes and nose.  “I told Ryan, Lucy and Sam about it instead.”  My poor friend.  My
best
friend.  She thought I wouldn’t –
didn’t
– care so she confided in three girls she partied with weekly; I called them the Drunken Trio.  She’d only known them for a year and half.  We’d known each other most of our lives.

              “Oh Tory you’ve got it all wrong.  I’m here for you.  I’ll
always
be here for you!”

Tory wasn’t the type to usually have problems she couldn’t solve on her own.  She’d never really come to me with a situation before – especially nothing like this.  She was a relatively independent person.  But now she needed somebody.  And that somebody was me.  I wouldn’t allow it to be her drinking buddies.  She needed a diary that could talk back to her not a bottle of vodka to bury her sorrows in.

              “Thanks, Ava.”  She smiled halfheartedly.

              “What you need,” I said, “is a girl’s night.”  Her eyes lit up.  I couldn’t believe I’d actually suggested that.  My body was craving some normalcy.  It was just unfortunate that something ordinary would stem from such a devastating situation.  Somehow Jensen’s presence had really struck something within me – change.  I wanted to be different, to morph back into the fun-loving, awesome girl many people befriended and I was proud of just one year ago.  By sulking non-stop I hadn’t overcome anything and I hadn’t forgiven
him
for what he
had done to me.

              Maybe I never would forgive him.  At least, not entirely.  It’s not just something a person can get over.  However, I needed to convince my mind to let go of what happened all those months ago so I could finally embrace what destiny had planned for me.

              “Aw, Avalon, that would be wonderful!”  We hadn’t had a girl’s night in
or
out since our unsuccessful trip to the movies a while back.  “Popcorn and DVDs?” she asked, hopeful, implying she wanted to stay in for the night – something Tory wasn’t too fond of.  She was always out and about, mostly at parties thrown all over town.  Otherwise she was throwing them.  She was very into the partying lifestyle, especially now that she’d made friends with the trio of drunken nights and hung-over mornings.  Each and every one of them had enough money to support their nasty habit.

One thing I came to realize though – people who came from money flocked together.  I hadn’t had much money growing up but that didn’t matter to Tory.  We bonded over other things; like our interest in eating glue sticks in pre-school, crushing on twin brothers, Brady and Bryan Webber in the fourth grade, and taking an interest in the fine arts in high school.  I always wondered why her parents didn’t send her to a fancy private school.  But my guess was her parents wanted her to be well rounded alongside children who didn’t have as much as she did.  That’s what had kept her relatively humble over the course of her life.  Tory was the most generous person I’d ever met . . . and not only with material things.

              “Sure thing,” I smiled.  She jumped off the chair and immediately headed for the 62” flat screen TV in our universal living room – one of the only rooms in the house that was considered ours; although we barely ever just stayed on our sides of the home anyway.  It was such a huge place for only two people.  It could get lonely at times.

Tory glanced at a couple movie titles that appealed to her.  “Could you make some popcorn?” she called.

              “Yeah,” I said.  I took out the popcorn and watched it spin around in the stainless steel microwave.

              Once the popcorn was done, I put the airy, buttery treat into a bowl and headed for the couch.  Tory had picked out a musical for us to watch – a movie we’d seen a dozen times long ago.  I had sworn myself off of romance but it was Tory’s choice.  I wasn’t going to let her down . . . not again.  We viewed the musical, nibbling on the salty popcorn and verbally admiring the vintage costumes used on all the characters on more than one occasion.

              A feeling I couldn’t control swept over me – was it compassion?  Happiness?  I couldn’t tell just yet.  It caused my stomach to twitch with satisfaction.  Then the uneasy feeling filled my gut once more, the same one that was there yesterday when I was face-to-face with Jensen.  I tried not to think about it.  I took slow, deep breaths to calm my nerves.  What was there to be nervous about?  After what had happened between us I highly doubted Jensen would ever want to see me again.  But maybe I wasn’t feeling this way because of that.  Maybe subconsciously I wanted to see him once more.

              After the movie concluded Tory and I talked about what happened between her and Adam.  All I had to say was I was glad she was out of that relationship.  As much as I thought they made a great couple she deserved better than someone like him.  I knew that eventually we’d see eye-to-eye on this topic.  Following that she brought up Jensen.  Although I felt a bit uncomfortable to hear more about him I didn’t want to dissuade Tory in any way.  After all this was the girl time she needed.  And if she wanted to talk about Jensen then she had every right to . . . as long as she didn’t go too far.