How to Sew a Button: And Other Nifty Things Your Grandmother Knew (18 page)

Step 5:
Fill your pitchers with some homemade flower preservative. Mix 1 quart lukewarm water either with 1 teaspoon each of sugar and bleach and 2 teaspoons lemon juice; or with 2 teaspoons each of sugar and white vinegar. The only exception: Droop-prone flowers, like tulips and irises, prefer cold water to lukewarm water.

Step 6:
Groom your stems. You never want your flowers to stand more than a third taller than your vase, or your arrangement may tip, so shorten them as necessary. Strip away any leaves that will sit underwater. Then, encourage them to drink by following these snipping rules:

For regular stems, cut at a 45-degree angle. For woody stems, like roses and lilacs, split the bottom inch of the stem by making a vertical cut into it. (Never smash.) Trim hollow-stemmed flowers, like delphiniums and Gerber daisies, straight across, then flip them upside down, fill them with water, cover the bottom with your thumb, plunk them in your water-filled vase, and then remove your thumb.

Step 7:
Arrange your flowers on angles, working from the outside of the vase in, making sure it looks even from all sides. Finish with the center flower.

Step 8:
Place your blooms where they’ll bring you the most good cheer, but away from sunlight and drafts. Now, go see if your coffee is ready and enjoy your day!

• Change your water at least every other day.
  

• When your blooms begin to wilt, cut them again and transfer to shorter vases.
  

• Don’t overcrowd your flowers. If you have leftover blooms, put them in single vases throughout your house or, better yet, give them to a neighbor or someone you love.
  

Step 1:
Go to your garden on a sunny day around the early afternoon, after the dew has evaporated but before the blooms begin to close or the stems to droop. Choose the flowers you’d like to press, and snip them at the base. The flatter the blooms, the better. (Think pansies and violets, not peonies or zinnias.)

Step 2:
Find and dust off your old phone book. Then trim your flowers’ stems, spread your blossoms flat between the pages, and close the book. (If you don’t have a phone book, lay your blossoms between two coffee filters and tuck into an encyclopedia, dictionary, or one of your Norton anthologies that you haven’t opened since college.)

Step 3:
Place more books (or any other heavy object) on top of your newly recruited flower press and let it be for one to two weeks.

Step 4:
Check on your flowers. If they’re papery and dry, they’re finished. Handle them with care (and tweezers). They’re oh-so-delicate.

Step 5:
Using just a touch of glue, mount your blossoms on a piece of paper or matte. Place in a frame and hang on your wall.

• You can also glue your flowers to plain cards, write sweet notes on the back, tuck in an envelope, and send to a friend.
  

• Press pretty leaves and, for luck, four-leaf clovers, too!
  

Step 1:
Put that $30 you were about to spend on a fancy candle back in your pocket.

Step 2:
Pour water into a small pot and place it on the stove over low heat.

Step 3:
Add several cinnamon sticks (or a few shakes of ground cinnamon), and if you’d like, cloves and peels of a lemon, orange, or apple.

Step 4:
Let simmer for as long as you’d like, making sure there’s always water in the pan.

• If the weather is warm, open your windows. Fresh air smells so sweet!
  

• Had fish for dinner? Cracked a rotten egg? Forgot to take the trash out? A bowl of white vinegar, set on the countertop, will absorb the foul odors in the air.
  

Step 1:
Sprinkle ½ cup baking soda down your slow-running or clogged drain.

Step 2:
Wash it down with ½ cup white vinegar. It’ll bubble like your fifth-grade science experiment, but put the stopper over it and let the fizz work for 15 minutes.

Step 3:
In the meantime, put on a full kettle to boil water.

Step 4:
After your 15 minutes are up and your kettle whistles, unplug the drain and pour the boiling water down it. Repeat if necessary.

• If that still doesn’t work, fill your sink with several inches of water (if it’s not—ew—already filled), plug your overflow holes with a wet rag, rim your plunger with petroleum jelly, place it
  over the drain, and press up and down on the handle until the obstruction clears.
  

• Sprinkle ½ cup baking soda down your drains weekly, followed by hot tap water, to keep them fresh and clear.
  

• Put a sink trap, or small screen, over your drain to prevent food or hair from being washed down it.
  

Step 1:
This is not going to be pretty, but there’s no way around it. First, stop flushing. If the water is still rising, look for the handle on the wall behind the toilet and turn the water off.

Step 2:
Assess your surroundings. Are you at a friend’s house or is there someone sitting in your living room waiting for you? If not, lucky you! If so, holler out to your pal and ask her to put on some loud music. She may think you’re a little weird, but that may be better than having her think about what you just did to clog the toilet. If you didn’t already, you’re going to make some noise in step 4.

Step 3:
If the water is to the top of the bowl, find a bucket or paper cup or whatever you can and bail some of it out. Gross? Yes, but not as gross as having dirty toilet water splash all over the floor.

Step 4:
Find the plunger, and place the suction cup end over the hole in the bottom of the toilet bowl. Once you’ve got a good seal, press that handle up and down like you’ve never pressed it before. Do it vigorously! Wipe the sweat off your brow, and repeat until the water drains. (That means the clog has cleared.) If you turned the water off, turn it back on now.

Step 5:
Once you’ve got the all clear, flush to clean the bowl, wash your hands (with soap!), and walk out with your head held high, as if nothing at all interesting happened in there.

• If the plunger doesn’t do the trick after as many tries as your muscles will allow, you’ll need to crank an auger, or snakelike wire, down the hole.
  

• For toilets, flange (or bell-shaped) plungers work better than ball (or half-dome shaped) plungers.
  

Thriving
A good life isn’t about being fancy. It’s about being healthy, taking care of yourself, and being happy
.