How to Sew a Button: And Other Nifty Things Your Grandmother Knew (19 page)

Step 1:
Brew a cup of tea by pouring boiling water over a tea bag, preferably a decaffeinated one so you don’t get jittery. Let steep for a few minutes.

Step 2:
Add a twirl of honey to taste. Not only will the sweet stuff make it taste good, but it’ll also coat your throat to help relieve any soreness or coughing.

Step 3:
Quarter a lemon and squeeze a piece over the cup to add some lip-smacking tartness.

Step 4:
Add a shot of whiskey or bourbon to the tea. Depending on how bad you feel, add a shot of whiskey or bourbon to your mouth, too.

Step 5:
Hold the cup to your face, breathing in the hot steam to clear your schnoz.

Step 6:
Climb under your covers, and sip until you get drowsy.

Step 7:
Set the glass down first. Very important! Then fall asleep.

Step 8:
Dream good dreams. Snoring is optional. Don’t be shy. You’re sick; you’re allowed to saw wood.

• Sit fireside to stay toasty. Feeling chilled can suppress your immune system.
  

• Gargle warm water three times a day to help wash away germs.
  

• Wash your hands often with soap (no fancy antibacterial stuff required) and, for goodness sake, keep them away from your face.
  

Step 1:
Assess your burn. If it’s serious, seek medical attention. If it’s not, then with clenched teeth and a pained smile, suck in a deep and noisy breath, allowing the air to rush over your molars. This won’t help your injury at all, but it may earn you some sympathy from anyone standing nearby.

Step 2:
Break off a bottom leaf from an aloe plant, and watch the clear, goopy sap begin to ooze.

Step 3:
Smear the sap from the leaf onto your burn for cool comfort. It’ll help reduce inflammation and redness.

Step 4:
If sap remains inside the leaf, store the leaf in your freezer to help maintain its freshness. Hopefully, you’ll never need it again, but if you do, you’ll have it handy.

• Fresh aloe also helps soothe sunburn and itches from insect bites and poison ivy.
  

• Even black-thumbed gardeners can grow aloe vera plants. They thrive indoors, in full or partial sun, and they require very little water.
  

Step 1:
Check the weather. If it’s a sunny, dry, and windy day, close your windows, hunker down inside, and pretend you’re a vampire. You can go out at night, when the pollen settles down. Rainy days have lower pollen counts, too, so if you’re super-sneezy, consider investing in a pair of galoshes and running your errands on wet days.

Step 2:
When you do go out, kick off your shoes as soon as you come home. Otherwise, you may track pollen all through your house, which would be so irritating, both physically and emotionally. Still sneezing? Rinse off and put on some fresh clothes.

Step 3:
Postpone your laundry day—or dry your clothes in the dryer. If you hang wet clothes on the line, they’ll be covered in pollen by the time you take them in and you’ll surely suffer for it. Achoo!

• If you let your dog or cat outside, wipe her down with a damp towel before she comes back in, or you may start sneezing at the very sight of her, thanks to her pollen-toting fur.
  

• Hire (or bribe) someone else to mow your lawn and haul away the clippings.
  

• About a month before allergy season begins, have a nip of local honey every day. Because it has local pollen in it, some people believe that teensy doses may help you build up your tolerance. Even if they’re wrong, it’ll still sweeten your day.
  

Step 1:
You don’t need a gym membership or any fancy kicks to go walking, but you do need some shoes that offer decent arch support, a good amount of cushion, and a flexible sole. In other words, don’t hoof it in your cute ballet flats. Just tie on some comfy shoes and head outside.

Step 2:
Get moving. You’ve been walking since you were a babe, so you’re already a pro at it. Start with a 5-minute warm-up at an easy-does-it pace. Then speed up a bit for 2 minutes. Recover at your easy pace for 1 minute. And repeat the sequence five times. Finish up with 5 minutes of strolling, and give yourself a pat on the back.

Step 3:
Switch it up. To build your endurance and strength, you’ve got to change your routine. There are all sorts of things you can do each time you hit the pavement: Add a minute to each speedy bout but keep your recovery the same. Add another fast-slow round to the routine. Try a hillier route. Or invent your own intervals by choosing a landmark (e.g., the stop sign, the lamppost, the shirtless guy washing his Camaro) and alternating fast and slow bouts between them. Do whatever makes it fun!

Step 4:
Keep it up. As long as you’re moving 30 minutes a day most days a week, your heart will be strong, your muscles will be sculpted, and your energy will be boundless.

• Make sure your shoes are big enough. Your dogs will swell from exercise, so allow a thumb’s width of space between your toe and the tip of your shoe.
  

• To make each step easier, bend your elbows to 90 degrees and swing your arms front to back, not side to side. You’re speed-walking, not sashaying.
  

• Push off from the ball of your back foot to add spring to your step. Squeezing your tush while you do so will give you added tone.
  

• Invite a friend along. Not only will you have more fun, but you’ll also be more likely to stick with it.
  

• Didn’t even break a sweat? Try alternating running and walking next time.