How to Sew a Button: And Other Nifty Things Your Grandmother Knew (25 page)

Step 2:
Double-check your records. Once a month, after you receive your bank statement, sort through your receipts and canceled checks and account for every transaction on your statement. Place a check mark along each verified purchase or deposit. Then add up your receipts and your bank transactions to make sure both tallies match.

Step 3:
Account for stragglers. If you’ve written checks or made purchases or deposits that haven’t yet appeared on your bank statement, adjust your balance accordingly, so you’ll know how much money you really have in the bank.

Step 4:
Separate your receipts. Place business expenses in one folder and personal expenses in another, so come tax season, you’ll have an easier time sorting your paperwork.

• If you see charges on your statement that you don’t recall, especially if they’re at, say, HotBunzs.fr or some other website or overseas shop, first double-check your memory. What
  did
  you do after that fourth glass of pinot grigio last Friday? Went straight to bed? Ring your bank immediately to alert their fraud department.
  

• Pay your monthly bills right after you reconcile your balances. That way, you’ll know exactly how much money you have and you’ll be less likely to bounce a check (and incur those nasty fees).
  

• Try to keep your bank balance above the minimum to avoid monthly checking fees. You could save a bundle.
  

Step 1:
Bundle up. You don’t have to wear a Snuggie twenty-four hours a day, but do dress warmly (and in layers), even inside. Put on a wool sweater, warm pants, silk long johns if you’ve got them, and some toasty socks. If, in December, you’re wearing a T-shirt and shorts inside (and you don’t live in the South), then you’re paying way too much for your heating bill.

Step 2:
Pipe down. Set your thermostat to as low a setting as is comfy when you’re home, and to 58 degrees when you’re away or sleeping. For every degree you crank it down in the day, you’ll save about 2 percent of your bill. Adding an extra blanket to your bed and sleeping in cooler temps can save you up to 7 percent.

Step 3:
Use solar power. You don’t need any fancy panels to harness the power of the sun. Just throw open your curtains on sunny days and let the rays warm your home.

Step 4:
Hunker down. If you’re lucky enough to have an extra room (or two or five) that you don’t use, close their doors to trap the
warmth where you live. Why pay to heat the entire house, when you hang out only in three rooms?

Step 5:
Break wind. If you feel a draft by a door or window, you’ve likely got some leaks. Seal the frames with caulk. And lay draft stoppers, usually cloth tubes filled with sand or beans, across the thresholds of your doors.

Step 6:
Use your senses. During the chilly season, decorate with reds, golds, and oranges to trick your mind into feeling warm. Add lots of texture, too, by piling up chunky blankets and soft pillows, to make a perfect cuddling spot for you and your honey (and your dogs, if you’ve got them).

Step 7:
Bake yourself a pie. If the heat of the oven doesn’t warm you, the promise of pie should help.

Step 1:
Embrace the heat. Unless you live in the Lut Desert in Iran, which once reached 157 degrees (the hottest land temperature ever recorded), try to refrain from running your air conditioner twenty-four hours a day. If you’re wearing a sweater inside in July (and you live in the Northern Hemisphere), you’re paying too much for your cooling bill.

Step 2:
Be smart. Pull your shades down to block the sun, open your windows when the breeze is cool, and avoid using any heat-generating appliances (your oven, dishwasher, and dryer) until after the sun sets.

Step 3:
Plant a tree. The branches will not only provide natural shade for your house, but also for your yard. Hang a hammock, enjoy the breeze, and have a lemonade.

• If you’ve got big gaps around your doors and windows, add insulation before caulking. You can even use scraps from your rag bag, like wool, corduroy, or any heavy material.
  

• To make your own draft stopper, measure the width of your door and add 10 inches. Cut a piece of material that length by 12 inches wide. Sew the long sides together, fill it with rice, beans, or sand, and tie off the ends with a ribbon.
  

• Install a cheaper-than-A/C ceiling fan to create a cool breeze in the summer. In the reverse direction, it’ll circulate warm air in the winter, too.
  

• Swap out your lightbulbs for Energy Star–approved bulbs. Each bulb will save you thirty dollars over the course of its lifetime.
  

• If you’re worried about being too hot, just remember: Animals sweat, men perspire, ladies glow. Let yourself glow, girl.
  

Step 1:
Have a snack. If you hit the grocery story on an empty stomach, there is a grave danger that by aisle 4, you’ll be hungry enough to think that those glow-in-the-dark Hostess Sno Balls (yes, they actually exist) look like something you’d want to swallow. Save yourself! Eat an apple first.

Step 2:
Make a list and stick to it. Impulse buys rarely include good-for-you foods. Honestly, which would you be more likely to toss into your cart on a whim: a bag of potato chips or a bag of potatoes? Right, thought so. Which is more expensive? Yep, doubly thought so.

Step 3:
Shop the perimeter. Think of the grocery store the same way you’d think of a male model. Everything you should be putting in your mouth is on the outside, and there’s hardly anything of substance on the inside. You’ll generally find veggies on one end, meat in the back, and dairy on the other end. Everything in between is more skippable (and expensive).

Step 4:
Buy seasonally. The farther fruits and veggies have to travel to get to you, the more expensive (and less tasty) they’ll be. Opt for locally grown produce, which will be nicer on your wallet and your taste buds.

• Markups on prepared-for-you foods are sky-high, so to save money, buy a block of cheese instead of the shredded stuff; a whole chicken, instead of boneless breasts; a bunch of spinach, rather than prewashed leaves.
  

• Opt for store brands over name brands; they generally have the same nutritional content.
  

Step 1:
Work up your courage. You’ll never get a discount if you don’t ask for one. Almost everything is on sale, if you know how to haggle.

Step 2:
Know the market. Be realistic about the price you want. If every merchant is selling a bag of apples for $2.50 to $3.50 a pop, don’t expect to buy one for a quarter. But do ask your seller to match the lowest price. If you’re buying more than one, ask for a bigger break.

Step 3:
Know your audience. You’ll be more likely to get discounts at locally owned stores rather than multinational chains and from managers rather than clerks. If you’re dealing with someone who can’t offer you a discount, kindly ask to speak with his superior. Be charming, if you can. Nobody wants to go the extra mile for a poo head.

Step 4:
Look for flaws. This may feel a bit shady but it really isn’t. Examine the item you’d like to buy for any imperfections. If it’s got
any stains, scratches, pulls, or dents, you’ll be more likely to get an automatic damaged-good discount, which is usually at least 10 percent off.

Step 5:
Offer to pay in cash. Stores have to pay a small fee to credit card companies if you use plastic. By paying in cash, they’ll likely pass that savings on to you, if you ask for it.

Step 6:
Walk away. Sometimes the threat of losing the sale is enough to make the seller cave. If he doesn’t, just keeping on walking. You’ve already determined that the price is not right.

• Be firm. Serious hagglers actually get better deals than sweet ones. When you get down to the nitty-gritty deal-making, try not to giggle.
  

• Be friendly. Insulting the seller or his products won’t make him want to do you any favors.