How to Sew a Button: And Other Nifty Things Your Grandmother Knew (29 page)

Step 1:
Listen. Every person has her own truth, ahem, even if it’s wrong. Hearing somebody out doesn’t mean you must agree with her.

Step 2:
Reflect your pal’s emotions. Rather than engaging in a heated point-by-point discussion, offer a gentle assessment of her stance and/or state of mind (e.g., “You seem to feel really passionately about this”).

Step 3:
Introduce common ground. Asking affirmative questions, or questions to which she’ll answer yes, may help her remember that you’re a friend, not a foe.

Step 4:
Resolve it. Once you identify any ideas you have in common, celebrate those. Remember, you don’t have to fully agree with someone to appreciate her feelings or experiences.

• Stay calm and smile. What you do is often as important as what you say.
  

• Keep an open mind. Realize that most arguments are just plain silly and that there is a teensy tiny chance that you just might be wrong.
  

• If all else fails, say something nice—anything you can think of, doesn’t matter—and just walk away.
  

Step 1:
Rehearse your speech. Jot down a few notes about what you’d like to say, and run through your bit in front of friends and family. Practicing it in front of a few people will help you feel more confident when you deliver it in front of a larger group.

Step 2:
Say your piece. When it’s your turn to speak, introduce yourself, and no matter how high your passions are running, make your well-reasoned points calmly, clearly, quickly, and carefully. If you speak with conviction, others will listen. If you shout, they’ll tune you out. (If you rhyme, you’ll have a good time!)

Step 3:
Thank your audience for listening, and then sit down and listen, too. You might be surprised by what you can learn.

• If you practice your speech at home, rehearse it in different locations throughout your house. That way, you won’t be thrown by the new setting.
  

• When you do approach the microphone, don’t tap it and say, “Is this thing on?” Just start talking, and you’ll know.
  

• Dress professionally. People will bestow your words with more weight if you look like an upstanding member of the community, rather than an interloper who just showed up for the free cookies and juice.
  

Step 1:
Identify your delegates. Your own reps will be more responsive to your concerns, since it is their duty to act in your best interest. Plus, hello, they also rely on your vote to get elected. You can find their names and addresses online or in the blue pages of your phone book. If you’ve got access to neither, call your local librarian.

Step 2:
State your purpose. Start by formally addressing your recipient and then state clearly and immediately the purpose of your correspondence (e.g., “Dear Senator, Please listen to your grandmother. You could learn a thing or two from her.”)

Step 3:
Identify yourself. In one or two sentences, explain why you have authority on this position (e.g., “I’ve been listening to her my whole life and can vouch that she has something valuable to teach”).

Step 4:
Make your case. Bolster your position by citing facts rather than emotion (e.g., “Your grandmother, having survived the Great Depression, has proven herself to be much smarter and more resourceful than you. She would’ve never advised you to lead us into such debt or to fracture our communities. Plus, she knows how to make a mean pie
and
sing in harmony.”)

Step 5:
Reiterate your request and offer advance gratitude just in case a little courtesy (or guilt) will get you anywhere (e.g., “So, please call Grammy and listen to her. Thanks so much!”).

Step 6:
Sign your name and date it. Don’t forget to include your contact information should your rep like to reply (e.g., “Love, Mom”).

• Consider submitting your letter to your local paper.
  

• Ask your friends, family, and neighbors to write letters as well if they share your views and passion.
  

• Go ultramodern. E-mailing your reps works just as well, if you want to get all cutting-edge.
  

Entertaining
Make your own fun
.
You’ll be happier
,
and richer (in all ways), for it
.

Step 1:
Kick off your shoes, go outside on a sunny afternoon, and pick 2 quarts’ worth of fresh dandelion blossoms. You need only the flower petals, so pluck them from their heads, and give them a good wash. (The leaves and stems will bitter your wine.)

Step 2:
Place your harvest in a large pot, and pour 1 gallon of boiling water over the top. Let steep for 3 days, and then strain the tea through a cheesecloth into a second pot, squeezing all the juice out of the blooms. Compost your flowers.

Step 3:
Stir in 9 cups (or 4 pounds) granulated sugar and the juice of 4 oranges and 3 lemons.

Step 4:
In ½ cup lukewarm water, dissolve 1 packet champagne yeast (available at winemaking supply stores) or active dry yeast (available at any grocery store), and stir it into your pot.

Step 5:
Once it’s mixed, pour the wine into a 2-to 3-gallon jug (or several 1-gallon jugs). To prevent it from turning to vinegar, stretch a large balloon over the mouth of the jug. (The balloon will
inflate as the wine ferments.) Or, even better, plug it with an air lock, available for a couple of bucks at any winemaking supply store. Set it in a dark closet for about 6 weeks.

Step 6:
Strain through a cheesecloth to remove sediment. Repeat as necessary, until the wine runs clear. Pour into bottles or jars. Cork or screw lids on tightly. Serve chilled. It’s like drinking pure sunshine.

• For the best flavor, pick your dandelions when the blossoms are in full bloom.
  

• Store the blossoms in the freezer if you can’t make the wine immediately.
  

• Try spicing things up by adding orange and lemon zest, cloves, ginger, cherries, whatever you desire.
  

• For even smoother wine, add 1 pound of raisins during step 3.