Incredible Sex (52 Brilliant Little Ideas) (12 page)

   Trace around his anus, balls and perineum (the space between the first two) with your fingers.

   Slip a well-lubricated finger into his bum and stimulate the prostate gland, which you can feel through the skin of the anterior wall (front), with gentle pressure (give him plenty of warning first that this is your intention). If he doesn’t like this, press rhythmically on the perineum, which stimulates the prostate more gently.

   Hold tight onto his buttocks and spread the cheeks – many men, like women, appreciate the sense of ‘stretch’.

   Push up the fleshy area just above the pubic bone or press on it rhythmically. This increases the sensations you’re causing with your mouth.

   Put one hand on the base and another half way up the penis. Stroke the penis with both hands while you take the head of the penis in your mouth.

   Use a vibrator or a bullet on low speed on his perineum while you fellate him.

Eyes

It’s oh so simple, but if you don’t usually look into your lover’s eyes when you go down on him, give it a go. A locked gaze while your mouth slides up and down is powerfully erotic. This is easier in some positions than others so alternate with holding his penis with your hand while you hold his gaze and flick your tongue over the head of his penis.

Here’s an idea for you…

Try stimulating the prostate gland. Men can experiment with this during masturbation and women can use it to give their man a deeper, stronger orgasm.

Legs

Straddle his chest as an alternative to the more usual blow-job positions and go on all fours if necessary. This leaves you exposed, but visually it’s pretty damn exciting especially if you touch yourself while going south. It also allows him to touch you without any effort whatsoever, which is nice for him. On no account, however, allow him to balance his beer on your butt. That’s taking the Michael.

Rhythm

Ultimately you find a technique he likes, a groove that he likes and you stick to it. At the most, alternate between two techniques. The only exception to this is when you want to prolong things, which can ensure a stronger, better orgasm for him. Not always, however. Some men’s penises appear to get bored with a constant stop–start stop–start method and their orgasm isn’t half as explosive as sex manuals would lead you to believe, so unless you know your man, don’t overdo the teasing.

44.
   
Tie me up, tie me down

The first time someone ties you up is a revelation. You are no longer in control
Complete the image with a corset, stockings, high
and with that comes a feeling of total abandonment.

Plus, a little light bondage is always mildly pervy and that frisson of the forbidden is terrific. It is a fact that most men and women love to be dominated. Not all the time, but some of the time. One of the most popular female fantasies is one that involves a man forcing himself on a woman, either by tying her up or simply holding her arms down above her head. We have all read those stories of powerful men liking a good whipping by a dominatrix. What is it about bondage that turns us on?

According to research, 14% of men in the UK regularly enjoy bondage (and there must be plenty more that don’t admit to practising it). It turns men on to be out of control and they often enjoy the pain. Not serious agony, but the flick of the whip or the slap of a hand. There is something exquisite about the sensation, a sort of mixture of pleasure and pain you don’t get from anything else.

Men find women with whips in their hands very sexy. Maybe it’s the fact that a woman with a whip in her hand is unlikely to be there for anything other than a serious sex session. If it’s a look you haven’t tried before then you might be delighted with the effect it has on your bloke. Complete the image with a corset, stockings, high heels and suspenders. You’ll have him whimpering.

Here’s an idea for you

Create your own bondage chair by tying your partner firmly to a straight backed chair with arms and blindfolding him or her. Or you can order your own bondage chair online.

But you don’t have to go the whole nine yards to get results. Even on a bog-standard Wednesday night, using your tie, dressing gown belt or whatever happens to be around takes seconds and will add a delicious naughtiness to your lovemaking.

However, half the fun of bondage is that it is unusual so you don’t want to make it too mundane. Specialness is heightened if you have an armoury of items such as whips, chains, handcuffs, and silk scarves hidden away in your boudoir. If you’re missing any of this essential paraphernalia then just go online and order your bondage starter kit for less than the price of a dinner for two. But be careful not to leave it lying around. And never get into a lock up situation unless you can see your get out very firmly in front of you.

45.
   
Bringing up the rear

Even if it wasn’t talked about much, rear entry has always been mainstream – it’s the original form of birth control.

Many couples try anal sex in the first lust-fuelled months of their relationship and then forget about it. If you’ve tried it and your attitude is ‘Been there, done that, don’t know what the fuss is about’, then it might be time to revisit it. It can add a definite fillip to your lovemaking.

You need to be aware of the risks and practise safe sex. Plus, if you touch the anus with tongue, finger, dildo or vibrator, you don’t move forward without giving it a good clean. Bacteria from the cleanest anus can still produce a fearful vaginal infection. Violet Blue, a sex trainer, has a good tip if you hate interrupting sex to get safe. Wear some rubber gloves and condoms for anal play before peeling them off for vaginal intercourse.

Anal sex for men causes friction against the prostate gland which can be very exciting. But what about for women? The vulval area responds to stretching and that sense of being filled up is terrific for most women. Anal sex works in the same way. Tongues, fingers, dildos and butt plugs can all drive both sexes wild because they give the contracting orgasmic muscles in the bum something to work against.

Here’s an idea for you…

It goes without saying that a bath or shower together is always a good idea before any sort of rear action. Clip your nails.

Don’t attempt anal penetration until your partner is well and truly revved up and a ton of lubrication has been used. Press your finger against the anus, applying pressure. Massage the opening and slowly slide your finger in up to the first joint. Stay still. You’ll feel the ring of muscles around the anus tighten and relax. Don’t move your finger, just let the muscles work. When they relax again, slide your finger in slowly.

For women:
men can experiment with a finger in the anus and a thumb in the vagina.

For men:
women can stimulate his prostate, but only when he’s well and truly aroused. You’ll feel it as a nub on the front wall of the anus a couple of inches in. Once you’ve tried with a finger, the world’s your oyster. If penetrating with a penis or a dildo, use a gentle, rubbing action unless your lover tells you different, and slow penetration.

46.
   
Asian secrets

Steep yourself in the mysterious wonders of the Far East, where not coming is the goal.

Being able to breathe deeply and exhale this breath from deep inside helps you to focus your energy, connect with your partner and relax into an amazing, pure energy orgasm. Although you can practise meditation and breathing rituals at home in readiness for Tantric sex, it’s best to combine this with a yoga, meditation or spiritual class to help prepare your mind. Sexuality is only meant to be one component of the Tantra, not its
raison d’être.