Incredible Sex (52 Brilliant Little Ideas) (10 page)

There’s an easy way to add a heightened sense of reality to the fantasy of paid-for sex: she keeps the money.

This is one that definitely works better if you’ve both had a couple of drinks beforehand because alcohol removes the self-consciousness from role-playing, and for this idea to really work you both need to stay in character throughout.

The Classic

Arrange to meet on a certain street corner at a certain time. Make sure there’s not the slightest chance of it being mistaken for a red-light area or you might get more reality than you bargained for. She should dress as overtly sexily as she feels comfortable with in public; simply slipping off her knickers beforehand will give that added frisson. At the appointed hour, he pulls up in his car and asks whether she is available. She replies, ‘For what?’ Then he tells her in explicit detail. She comes back with the cost. Haggling or ‘negotiating a price’ can be a turn-on, and she shouldn’t get in the car until the deal is done. You can now either drive back home and pretend it’s her place or, if you’re daring, use the car (somewhere private, of course, or again this game could get a bit too real).

The Pick-up

She’s sitting at a hotel bar, looking sexy but demure. It helps if she adopts a slightly different look from usual – more make-up, hair slightly different, heels higher – a look that makes her feel unlike herself. She should make sure her underwear is brand new – nothing he’s ever seen before. She should order a different drink from usual and adopt a different name and personality – the easier the new persona comes to her the more convincing this will be. The same applies to him: he should invent a new persona, too, and ‘work it up’. He approaches her and, although there may be some preliminary ‘soft soap’, eventually a conversation not unlike the one above has to take place. Maintain eye contact. It’s sexier. When you’re done head home (or better still, take a room). Don’t talk overly much.

37.
   
Sex as sport (for her)

Casual sex is an exciting alternative to traditional relationships. It can be an emotional minefield, though, so here’s how to have the spark without getting burned.

One of the bonuses about deciding to go ahead with the chase for casual sex is that you don’t know when it’s going to happen. That means lots of anticipatory pleasure, soaking in luxurious baths, attending to matters of depilation and wearing knock ’em dead underwear. Just thinking about the possibility gives you a boost and any extra effort you’ve made will increase your confidence. It’s better to find someone who is not particularly connected to you or your friends (not a work colleague, your friend’s ex, a neighbour). At the same time, having it away with a complete stranger comes with its own risks (he could be a psychopath) and you risk him knowing where you live if he goes back to your place.

Good meeting places for casual sex are nightclubs, pubs and concerts, but really any social gathering offers opportunities, if you’re not too shy to look for them. The advantage of seeking out a casual partner is that you can discount a lot of the attributes you’d look for in a long-term partner, and can go for attractiveness and sex appeal over a good sense of humour. There’s also not very much to lose, so you’re not ruining anything by flirting actively. If he’s not interested you’ll get the message. As long as you tell someone where you’re going (should anything occur) and have got your little bag of tricks handy (containing essentials like condoms, clean knickers, make-up, mobile) you’re free to take advantage of what’s on offer.

Here’s an idea for you…

If you don’t want to go all the way, restrict yourself to snogging someone passionately in a public street. You avoid the risk of bringing someone home/going to their place and it gives you a ‘dry’ run to see how you feel about casual dating.

It’s a good idea to snog him intensely first before making up your mind. You can tell a lot about a man from the way he kisses. Dance with him if possible; does his body respond well to yours? Also bring up the subject of safe sex before you’ve dragged him away anywhere. Get the basics out of the way: where you’re going, contraception, if you’re sleeping over.

Many one-night stands are fuelled by alcohol which is a big passion killer, so don’t get too wasted. Ideally, once you’re in a suitable location, you should be able to pick up where you left off. Initiate things by kissing and hugging first. Aim to give and receive as much foreplay as possible (crap conquests lead to a rushed orgasm, and its benefits are largely psychological).

Don’t turn cold as soon as you’ve come, but don’t expect roses either. Discretion is everything. If you’ve made it clear there’s no commitment, don’t be afraid to be affectionate, or enjoy multiple orgasms. It’s meant to be fun!

38.
   
More on toys

Who knew that going to the shops could be so good for your love life?

One in three women in the UK owns a vibrator. For some women, their vibrator is a good and trusty friend with whom they hang out often. For others, it’s a tacky bit of plastic skulking at the back of the wardrobe. This chapter is for the latter, because clearly, although your love life may be buzzing, it’s not buzzing literally, and that could mean you’re missing a trick. A vibrator is a good and useful thing – a fun thing for both of you. The point of a vibrator is that, yes, it vibrates. Most usefully against your clitoris. To do that it doesn’t matter what shape it is, but it helps if it fits on your finger and is pretty discreet so it doesn’t get in the way, i.e. not a massive throbbing eight-inch copy of a dick. Funnily enough, what works well for you, will probably work well for your bloke, too. You can use it during sex to run up and down his penis or vibrate against his perineum.

Here’s an idea for you…

For detailed advice on sex toys of all descriptions, go to
www.shwomenstore.com
,
www.gash.co.uk
and
www.lovehoney.co.uk

Here are some vibrators worth checking out. All of these were recommended by the wonderful Kathryn, who works at Sh! (pronounced shush), the first UK sex shop aimed at women.

1.  Your finger – but improved!
The TantraBeam slips over your finger like a ring. It makes your finger vibrate so you can touch skin on skin. Good for people who like to keep things natural.

2.  Remote control.
Toys like the Mantric consist of a small bullet that can be held against any part of your body and a control pack that offers a whole handful of different combinations of stimulation. Or you can buy strap-on vibes that fit discreetly over her clitoris. Try spooning each other while he controls the vibration that she’s feeling and ultimately when she comes. If he enters her for the last bit, he’ll feel the vibrations, too. Another gadget (The Octupus for him and the The Oyster for her) is worn in your pants but is controlled by a remote control that your partner holds. You can give them a blast while they’re wandering around the house, talking to the neighbour, having dinner in a restaurant. Not while driving the car.

3.  Rings of confidence.
Cock rings fitted round the penis keep it engorged – good for her, good for him. When the cock ring has a clitoral stimulator attached to it, things get even better. There are lots of these, but one that’s definitely worth checking out is the Touchmatic, which only vibrates when it touches the clitoris. On-off, on-off as he goes in-out, in-out. Interesting sensation if a bit distracting, but some people absolutely love it.

4.  G-vibes.
There are a whole range of vibrators that are designed to hit your G-spot, such as the G-Swirl. This is made from silicone, which suits more people than rubber or plastic, even if it’s a bit more expensive. Or there’s Natural Contours Ultime.

39.
   
Giving it some

It feels good to give pleasure to your partner. You want to hear those moans. Here are a few tricks to put up your sleeve.

Just kissing him is sexier if you play with his lower lip. Suck it into your mouth and run your tongue down to his chin, it should send a shock wave he’ll feel in his penis. The neck is also a known erogenous zone, particularly the area under the Adam’s apple. Men also respond well to massage but before you get down to it search for other hot spots. Does he like having his nipples touched? Use your hands, tongue and a hot mouth to give him the once-over.

Don’t forget to talk dirty to him, and let him see as much of your body as possible. Men are much more receptive to sight and smell, so if you want to give him a handjob, do it so he can see your excited vagina. It’s less work if you use lubricant on your hands – his penis will automatically bump up and down, so use pressure that feels good for him. The most sensitive part of the penis is the frenulum (where the head meets the shaft) so stimulate this extra well. One technique is to keep one hand on the penis at all times stroking its head (preferably slick with lube) while your other hand gives long strokes to the rest of his penis. You can add twists, move both hands differently or use one hand to nudge his perineum. Men like to have their testicles played with, and any time you stimulate multiple areas it boosts his arousal.

Here’s an idea for you…

Don’t just mount him, do a reverse girl on top position so he can get a good look at you. Just before he climaxes, reach for his ankles and feel for his pressure points just below his ankle bones and press them as he comes. It’ll feel electric!

Men love oral sex. To increase his pleasure tie your hair back so he can see you doing it; even better, do it on your knees so that he can cop an eyeful of your breasts and extended neck. Brush your lips against his head, tickle him with your tongue and vary the sucking strokes.

During sex, just as he should be looking to stimulate your clitoris, look for his hot spots. Kneading the testicles works well, particularly the seam of it which contains lots of nerve endings. Some men can orgasm just from prostate stimulation, the male G-spot, which is just inside the anus. You could probe this with a finger or insert a well-greased butt-plug, but check first if he’s game.

40.
   
Blow jobs 101

Put a little thought into your next blow job – he’ll appreciate it.

Of course you know how to do this. Perhaps it was one of the first sexual things you learned. But maybe a little refresher is in order (and not just a mouthwash).

Whatever your technique, it’s worth making sure it includes these moves:

   Use your tongue to circle around the rim on the head of the penis quite firmly and to run up and down the ridge on the underside until it meets the small piece of skin where the head meets the shaft – the frenulum. Doing this stimulates two of the most sensitive parts of the penis (if he’s uncircumcised – but try it even if he is).

   Massage the perineum (the spot between the testicles and anus) while you’re going down – a vibrator is good for this.

   After years together, you may be taking his pleasure somewhat for granted. For most men, the easiest way to make them think they’re getting a great blow job is for you to seem to be having a fine time. So, give it all the enthusiasm you would the finest hocolate ice-cream and if the odd moan of pleasure escapes all the better. Or you could hum – some women swear by humming while they’re giving oral sex, as the vibrations heighten the sensation on the penis.