Learning to Love Again (22 page)

NICOLE TOSSED AND TURNED ALL NIGHT, DECIDING TO give up around six o’clock.  She ordered breakfast from room service, sitting by the window to eat, lost in thought.

Jack had given her a lot to think about yesterday.  Did she want to find her birth father?  And if she did, what then?  How do you show up on someone’s doorstep, thirty something years later, and announce that their one night stand resulted in you?  There were a thousand questions running through her brain that she wanted answers to.  But there were a thousand and one reasons why she should let it drop.

Maybe she should just contact Jack’s friend herself, see what he had to say, what the process would entail.  There was nothing wrong with being armed with information, right?

Finishing with her breakfast, she stepped into the bathroom and took a hot shower, her thoughts still centered on the possibility of finding this stranger.  Maybe she could skip the conference and go read those journals.  Jack had said the name was in one of them, hadn’t he?

As she stepped out of the shower, she heard the phone in the bedroom ring, and she hurried to answer it.  “Hello?”

“Hi.  It’s me,” Jason’s voice sounded in her ear.  “Please don’t hang up.”  She bit her lip and tightened her grip on the phone, his voice stopping her from doing just that.  His voice was so soft with just a touch of pleading in it.  “Nicole?”

“I’m here,” she answered on a sigh.  “How did you know where to find me?”

“I knew Jack was supposed to be at that conference this weekend, so when he was still in Waketon and you weren’t, I took a chance.  I started calling the hotels in San Antonio and asked for you until one of them transferred me to your room,” he admitted.  “I need to talk to you.  Have breakfast with me,” he pleaded.

“Jason,” she sighed, closing her eyes.

“Please.”

“You’re four hours away,” she stalled.

“I’m in a coffee shop downtown where I’ve spent the last hour dialing twenty hotels looking for you,” he countered.  “Baby, we need to talk,” his voice was low, insistent.

“I need my head examined,” she muttered.

“What was that?”

“Nothing,” she gave in, knowing she needed to see him.  They needed to resolve this and either move on together or let it be the end.

“Meet me in forty-five minutes at the Starbucks on the South end of the River Walk,” she instructed before hanging up the receiver, not even waiting for his answer.  Her hair and make-up needed to be perfect for this meeting.  No way was she going to let him know she’d been up all night crying over him.

Forty-five minutes after hanging up the phone, she stepped into the coffee shop.  He was already there waiting for her.  His eyes lit up when he saw her, standing up to hold a chair for her at the table he had grabbed.  Bending his head to kiss her, she turned her head to one side, allowing him to kiss her cheek.

“I ordered you a latte,” he indicated the cup on the table in front of her.

“You said you wanted to talk,” she reminded him, taking a sip of the coffee for a lack of anything better to do.

He reached across the table for her hand but she pulled away, placing both hands in her lap.  With a heavy sigh, Jason’s eyes searched hers.  “Are you going to listen to what I have to say?”

“I’ll listen,” she agreed.

“I know it sounded bad the other night, but nothing happened between Sara and me, I swear,” he told her.  “I didn’t know she was going to be at the conference.  I ran into my friend Matt that first day.  Sara found us during one of the breaks and invited herself to dinner with me and Matt.  Matt is too nice of a guy to tell her ‘no’, and I think he’s always had a thing for her.  Anyway, I spent the evening talking to Matt, catching up.  The only conversations I had with Sara revolved around you.  I told her all about you.”

“What did you tell her?” she fiddled with the insulator on her cup.

“I told her how much I love you.  I told her how smart you are, how you make me laugh…” his voice trailed off.  “I told her I was looking forward to spending the rest of my life with you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you’d run into her?” she couldn’t keep the hurt out of her voice.

“Because to me it was nothing!  I love
you. 
I’m marrying
you,
” he paused as she raised her eyebrow.

“Then why was she in your room at ten o’clock at night, while you were in the shower?” her voice was rising so she clamped her mouth shut, gritting her teeth.

“She wasn’t there by invitation.  She got one of the desk clerks to let her into my room.  Hotel management is dealing with that issue.” he leaned forward, bracing his arms on the table.  “Baby, I swear to you, I didn’t encourage her.  She knew as soon as I said your name who I meant.  Her jealousy of you was always an issue between us.”

He paused, his eyes never leaving her face.  “I heard the phone ringing and I heard her answer it.  I walked out of the bathroom and found her draped across the bed in…well, that part doesn’t matter.  I pulled her off the bed and shoved her into the hall with her screaming obscenities at me,” his lips twitched as he remembered the scene.

“The hotel’s management had a few words with me about my ‘ungentlemanly’ conduct.  They backed down pretty quick when I said my fiancé is an attorney and I was thinking of suing them for allowing an unauthorized person to have access to my room.”  He again reached for her hand.  This time, Nicole allowed him to take her hand in his.

“Tell me you believe me,” he implored, his fingers tightening around hers, his eyes catching and holding hers.

“I…I want to, Jason.  I do,” she sighed and closed her eyes.  “But I need time to think.”

“Look at me, Cole.” he waited for her eyes to open.  “In all honesty, do you think I would cheat on you?”

She looked down at their joined hands, and then back up, into his eyes.  The worry was there for her to see and the panic that he was going to lose her, if he hadn’t already.

What was it Mitch had said to her so many weeks ago?  She could either learn from her mistakes or wallow in self-pity and blame everyone else, like her mother had done.  She thought back to the conversation she’d had with Jack yesterday morning.  She could be like him and let the bitterness rule her life for a while.

It all came down to trust.

She turned her head and looked out at the river, studying the people walking by, many of them couples walking hand in hand.  His thumb was rubbing across her knuckles, offering his strength and comfort the only way he could right now.  She could feel the intensity of his gaze on her.

She had walked away from this man once before, and had spent years being alone because of her own fears and insecurities.  The Fates had given them a second chance, and her heart was telling her, begging her to take it.

She turned her hand in his, her fingers lacing with his.  “No, you’re not the type to cheat,” she answered, her voice soft but without a shred of doubt in it.

Releasing the breath he’d been holding, his grip on her hand tightening as he brought her hand to his mouth, brushing a kiss across her knuckles.

“Did I lose you?” he whispered.

“You came pretty damn close,” she admitted as she blinked away her tears.

“I was so afraid you had run off again,” he admitted, his eyes caressing her face.

She shook her head, “No, I’m through with running.  I just needed some space.  I would have come back and had it out with you.  It means a lot to me that you came after me though.”

“I’ve learned from my mistakes, too,” he acknowledged.  “But you can’t keep running out on me every time we have a fight,” he teased, squeezing her hand.

“Then don’t get caught in hotel rooms with half-naked women!” she shot back, squeezing his hand in return.

“Never again, from now on, we both go to those damn things.” he promised.

“Oh, that’ll be fun.  I’ll get to sit in a hotel room while you’re off learning about doctor stuff.  Yippee.” she drawled, rolling her eyes.  “Are you going to come to the legal seminars and workshops with me?”

“No, we’ll make Jack go to those,” he grinned across the table at her.  “Are you ready to go?” he motioned towards her coffee cup and she nodded.  They walked out of the shop and she led the way back to her hotel.

“Where do we go next?” he asked as they entered her room.  She tossed her purse on the table and turned to him.

“I’m supposed to be attending a conference,” she reminded him, raising an eyebrow as he moved across the room towards her, his hands going to the buttons on his shirt.

“So am I, but instead I’m chasing my fiancé all over the state of Texas,” he pulled his shirt off and reached for her, helping her off with her own shirt.  He bent and swung her up in his arms, laying her in the middle of the bed, stretching out beside her.  He leaned over and kissed her eyes closed before kissing her lips and spreading kisses down her neck.

She wrapped her arms around him, not even aware of the tears rolling down her cheeks until Jason felt them.  He levered himself up onto his elbows, wiping the tears away, murmuring soothing words to her.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” he pulled her into his arms and shifted so that he was on his back and her head was pillowed on his chest.

She sniffled a few times and lifted her head so he could see her face.  “Nothing’s wrong.  For the first time in a very long time, I feel like everything is finally right.”

He wiped the last few tears from her cheeks with his thumbs, bending his head to press soft kisses to her forehead, eyes, cheeks, and then her lips.

“Are you still going to marry me in six weeks?” he asked in-between kisses.  His lips moved to her neck.

“Might as well,” she teased, tilting her head to give him better access to the pulse points along her neck.

“Might as well?” he pulled back to give her a mock frown.

“I do already have my dress,” she told him.  “And we have the church reserved and Aunt Helen is planning that huge party for us.”

“All of those are good reasons to have the wedding,” Jason agreed, his fingers stroking her waist.

“And you, Mitch, and Jack all have your tuxes ordered.”

“This is true,” he agreed, his fingers sliding over her skin, stroking just below her breasts. “You’re very vulnerable, here.  You shouldn’t tease me about our wedding.”

He bent his head and sucked on her nipple.  Her back arched and she moaned, encouraging him to do more.  “Should I stop?” he asked, lifting his head.

“No, don’t stop!” she reached for him, trying to pull him back down to her.

“So I can do more of this?” he asked, switching to her other breast.

“Oh, God, yes!” she cried out, her nails digging into his shoulders.  “Jason, please?”

“Please what, baby?” he undid the button her jeans and lowered the zipper.  His fingers eased under the band of her underwear.

“Just…love me!” she cried, her back arching again.

“Oh, I do, babe.  Believe me, I do,” he raised himself up, giving her a hard kiss before standing up.

Bewildered by physical withdrawal, she opened her eyes.  “What…Oh!” she cried out as he dragged her pants and underwear down her legs and off.

“This time it’s going to be rough and fast,” he warned her as he climbed back onto the bed and positioned himself between her legs.

“As long as there’s a next time,” she agreed on a sigh as he slid into her, her arms wrapping around him and holding on tight.