Letting Go (Vista Falls #3) (12 page)

“Well, yeah.”

“In my experience, those guys are the ones you can’t trust. They’re just telling you what you want to hear to get you into bed.”

“You really think so?” Gabby didn’t consider herself naïve, but maybe her friend was right. She’d taken the other men she’d dated at face value when they said they were ready for a serious relationship, but maybe Colt was the only one who’d truly been honest with her.

“I do.” Taylor nodded. “Even guys in their thirties break out in a cold sweat when they hear the C-word. Especially if they’ve been players all their lives. For guys, it’s scary to imagine being with one person for the rest of your life.”

“You’re probably right.” Colt had been single a long time. It was only natural that it would take some time for him to warm up to the idea of being a couple again. “But I don’t want to be one of those women who enters into a relationship hoping to change my guy. Or hoping that he’ll come around to my way of thinking. That has disaster written all over it.”

“I couldn’t agree with you more. But why do you have to label what you and Colt have? Why not date like he suggested? Have great sex.” She winked. “Let him take you to nice restaurants. Maybe take a few trips together. If you fall in love all over again and decide you want to spend the rest of your lives together, great. If not, at least you’ll have some fabulous memories, right?”

Gabby set her coffee on the table beside her. “God, why have I been overthinking this? You’re right. I’m putting so much pressure on myself and him, believing that we have to figure it all out right now. We don’t. We can take our time.”

“Of course you can. And you can have fun while you do.” She wiggled her eyebrows comically. “And I expect updates on all the fun you’ll be having.”

Gabby laughed before sobering. “There’s still one small problem.”

“What’s that?”

“Colt’s temper.”

“He’s not violent, is he? He’s never hit you or anything like that? Because if he has, disregard everything I just said. I can’t let you go out with him.”

Gabby smiled, appreciating Taylor’s concern. “No, Colt would never do anything like that. But he claims he has a propensity to blow up just like his father used to.”

“Hmmm.” Taylor sipped her coffee. “Have you ever seen any evidence of that?”

“No, but I’m sure Wes could tell me plenty of stories.” Not that Gabby would have asked him. She really didn’t want to know.

“Sometimes rage is the result of repressed emotions.” Taylor laughed self-consciously. “I learned that in my grief support group. A lot of people got furious and tore things up because they couldn’t deal with their loss any other way. They didn’t know how else to express their pain.”

“I think that might be the case with Colt. He’s never felt free to express his anger toward his parents.”

“So give him a safe place to do that. Encourage him to talk to you about it. Ask questions, let him know you’re willing to listen. And if it’s feasible, maybe he needs to talk to his parents, air some of his grievances with them.”

Even when they were teenagers, the subject of his home life had been off-limits. Back then, he’d been embarrassed about it, and she suspected he still was. But it was important for him to know that he didn’t have to keep it all bottled up inside anymore. “You give really good advice, you know.”

Taylor smiled. “Thanks. The leader of our support group is going to stay with her daughter in Florida this winter, and she’s asked me to lead the group for her. I hope I can give our members good advice.”

“I’m sure you will.”

“Okay,” Taylor said, reaching for a tablet on the desk. “I guess we should get down to business now, start talking about this party your man wants to plan.”

Her man.
She hoped come Saturday Colt would be her man again. In every way.

Colt didn’t know why he was so nervous. Backwoods had hosted dozens of parties for their employees over the years. But Wes had usually been there to make sure everything went according to plan. Colt just hung back and watched it all unfold. But tonight it was all on him, and he wanted to make sure he gave Bob the send-off he deserved.

Colt scanned the burgeoning crowd looking for his date, but she was nowhere to be found, and that made him even more nervous. Had she changed her mind about joining him? She’d claimed that she needed to arrive early with the van so she and her assistant could deliver the table centerpieces. The flowers were already on the tables, but that didn’t necessarily mean Gabby had been the one to deliver them.

“Great party, Colt,” Bob said, slapping him on the back. “I can’t thank you enough for doing this.”

“It was the least I could do. We’re all going to miss you.” Especially Colt. He’d always been able to confide in Bob as sort of a father figure.

“I wish I could stay on.” He sighed. “But you know how it is, son. Family first.”

No, Colt didn’t know anything about putting family first. He’d always tried to put his family firmly out of his mind. It seemed easier that way. “How’s Allen doing?”

Bob held up his hand and tipped it back and forth in the universal “not bad” gesture. “He has his good and bad days. He’s going to have to learn to do everything all over again: walk, talk, feed and dress himself. It’s going to be a long, grueling battle, but the doctors are confident he’ll get there.”

“That’s the main thing.” Colt couldn’t imagine having his life turned upside down the way Allen had.

“Your florist friend is lovely.” Bob gestured to Gabby, who was setting a large arrangement on the buffet table, where the waitstaff had placed an array of appetizers to tide guests over until they sat down for dinner. “We met earlier. I got here before everyone else. Just needed a few minutes to collect myself, you know.”

Colt took Gabby in and felt the relief wash over him. She was here. He could count on her to be by his side tonight, to hold his hand and give him an encouraging smile when he got up to give his speech. He couldn’t remember ever needing anyone the way he needed her tonight. He hated public speaking even when the people gathered were his friends and employees. “She is lovely, isn’t she?”

Her long blond hair was naturally curly tonight instead of wavy, the way he was used to seeing it. When she wore it in her natural corkscrew curls, it was thick and wild and sexy. Bed head—that’s what came to mind. Getting her into bed and…

“Ah, I see,” Bob said, smiling. “She’s more than a friend, isn’t she?”

“She’s my date.” Colt laughed self-consciously when he realized he hadn’t taken his eyes off of Gabby since Bob pointed her out. “And my ex-girlfriend.”

“Hmm, so there’s lots of history there,” Bob said and brought his glass to his lips.

“Yeah, you could say that.” Colt watched her chatting with her assistant, arranging the flowers carefully before standing back to admire her handiwork.

She was wearing a bright yellow dress that fit her like a second skin and multi-colored strappy sandals that meant she wouldn’t get a kink in her neck when he kissed her later.

“When you returned to Houston unexpectedly last year, you told me you’d made a mistake. I got the feeling it had something to do with a girl. Is she the one?”

Though Colt had described what had happened with Gabby as a mistake, he knew it wasn’t. Making love to her after all those years had felt even better than he’d remembered. “She and I sort of reconnected.”

“Uh huh, and that’s all I’m going to get out of you.” Bob winked. “That’s okay. I know when to mind my business.”

Bob had been happily married a long time, and Colt couldn’t think of anyone better to give him relationship advice. “I want to be with her.” Colt kept his voice low as he turned his back to Gabby. He didn’t think she could read lips, but he wasn’t willing to test it. “But I guess I’m scared. I don’t want to hurt her… like I did before.”

“What happened?”

“We dated back in high school. It was getting pretty serious. We talked about the future, but when it came down to it, I couldn’t do it. I was just a dumb kid. I couldn’t think about being tied down for the rest of my life.”

“Most people are too young to make that kind of commitment straight out of high school,” Bob agreed. “But I’m sure you made her understand that it had nothing to do with her, right? That you just weren’t mature enough to—”

“I bailed.” Colt winced when he thought of how she must have felt when she got that stupid note he’d left with her friend. “Wes had to get out of town, and I went with him. We weren’t planning to leave until school started in the fall, but we left two months early. I didn’t even say good-bye to Gabby. I just left.”

“But she forgave you. She must have if she’s here with you tonight.”

“I did it again.” Colt felt almost as if he was in a confessional, asking forgiveness for his sins. “I left town after we…” He didn’t think Gabby would want him to spill all of their secrets, though he trusted Bob.

“And this happened last year?”

“Yeah.” Colt sighed, embarrassed that he could have been so stupid, so cowardly, not once but twice. “That’s part of the reason we’re having such a hard time figuring things out. She’s not sure she can trust me, and to be honest, I’m not sure she can either.”

“You mean you think you might cheat on her or take off on her again?”

“I’d never cheat on her.” Colt couldn’t imagine any woman turning him on the way Gabby did. “But she wants someone she can count on, and I’m not sure I can be that guy.”

Bob gripped Colt’s shoulder. “I’ve known you a long time. In the early years of the business, it looked like you wouldn’t survive.” He chuckled. “I was the sole member of your accounting team back then, remember? There were some months I questioned whether I’d get paid.”

Colt smiled at the memory. “Yeah, those were some pretty lean times, weren’t they?”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “I’d say that’s an understatement, son. My point is you made a commitment and you followed through. You made a commitment to Wes, your partnership, your vision, and every person you hired. You vowed you wouldn’t let us down, and you didn’t. So why do you think you’d let Gabby down?”

Colt hadn’t thought about things in that context before, but he’d had hundreds of people relying on him for years. Bob was right—Colt hadn’t let a single one of them down. “I guess I always thought making a commitment to a woman was harder than making one to a business.”

Bob grinned. “I think you’ve got it backward. You find the right woman, and she’ll lift you up, help you get through anything.” He sobered, obviously thinking of the trials he and his wife faced now. “Once you’ve found love, commitment is the next logical step. That’s the easy part, if you ask me.”

“Really? You didn’t have any doubts about proposing?”

“Not a one.” He smirked. “That’s not entirely true. I doubted she would say yes. But once she did, I never looked back.”

“You’re lucky.”

He tapped his temple. “Not lucky—smart. I knew if I didn’t snap her up, someone else would, and I couldn’t let that happen.”

Colt glanced over his shoulder and saw one of his regional sales managers chatting up Gabby. It looked innocent enough, but Colt had no doubt he’d try to slip her his number if Colt didn’t intervene soon.

“Colt, there’s something I never told you because, honestly, it didn’t seem important.”

“What’s that?” Colt asked, shifting his body so he could keep one eye on Gabby and her companion.

“I wasn’t close to my folks. I left home when I was seventeen.”

“Really?”

“Yup, had a falling out with my father because I didn’t want to join his trucking company.”

“How’d you make it on your own?”

“Probably the same way you did.” Bob smiled. “I worked a couple of jobs, went to night school, stayed in crappy boarding houses… you know the deal.”

Colt would never have imagined Bob and his family weren’t close. Family seemed to be the most important thing in his life.

“My point is I met my Mary and she became my family. Not long after that, I figured out what real love was… when Allen was born.”

Colt swallowed the lump in his throat, wishing he was capable of feeling the kind of unconditional love Bob described. “I’m glad everything worked out for you.”

“It can work out for you too.” Bob set his empty glass on a passing waiter’s tray before slipping his hands into his pockets. “You need to understand that you can’t choose the family you’re born to but you can choose the family you create.”

Was it possible for Colt to build a family of his own… with Gabby? “When Allen was younger, how’d you handle him?” Bob always seemed so mild-mannered—the quintessential accountant who never let anything faze him. Colt was uncomfortable asking his friend whether he’d lost his temper to the point it scared him, but he had to know. “Did you ever spank him or…” He shrugged. “You know.”

He seemed thoughtful for a minute. “No, I can’t say that I did. But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t tempted. And I seem to recall throwing things at him a time or two.” He laughed. “One time, I think it was the remote control. Good thing he was fast, or it would have bounced right off his head.”

“You must have been pretty mad to do that.”

“I was. I found out he’d lied to me about drinking and driving. I was tempted to kick his ass out of the house for that one. But I didn’t. We worked it out.”

“I guess I’m afraid of losing my temper with my kids the way my old man did with us.”

Bob nodded. “I’ve seen and heard your temper. I can understand why you’d be concerned.”

“Thanks a lot,” Colt muttered. The last thing he wanted was validation.

“But you never resorted to violence against a person, did you?”

“No, I guess not.”

“You may have yelled and thrown things, punched a few walls, but when that was over, you jumped in your truck, peeled out of the lot, and came back when you were calmer.”

“Yeah, but it’s different with kids, right? You can’t yell and scream at them, or you’ll scare the hell out of them.” As a small child, Colt had been a nervous wreck every time his father went on one of his tirades. He’d never want to do that to someone who looked to him to protect them.