Life on the Ramona Coaster (23 page)

Me and Avery, August 2014. Our first night alone together in Southampton after Mario and I split for good

Thankfully, Avery has come through all of this with her spirit intact. I always tell her how proud I am of the amazing young woman she has become. Avery can be very hard on herself, especially about schoolwork. I remember during that very stressful year, when she came home for winter break, she was beating herself up about her grades. I took her hand and told her, “Avery, getting all As doesn’t matter. You are so unbelievably special and smart. I know that in life you will succeed in a huge way.” Despite all the pain she endured, she worked hard all semester and got herself into the University of Virginia. She is in love with her school and is finally having a true college experience. I’ve visited her there and agree that it’s the perfect place for her. Avery has taken me with her to frat parties and we have become closer than ever this past year. She has become as much my friend as she is my daughter. We see UVA as a gift for her after all the pain she has been through. Finally, my daughter is happy again.

I don’t know what the future holds for me. For the first time in my life I can’t see where the road ahead leads. Maybe that’s why this is happening. Maybe my challenge right now is to embrace the uncertainty of life. Every day is a struggle and there are times when I still can’t believe this has happened to us. What gives me the strength to go on is my faith in God. I pray to God every day for myself, for Avery, even for Mario. Because of everything I have been through, I know that am strong enough to handle anything life throws at me. I have always been independent, always stood on my own two feet. Whatever happens with my marriage, I know that I will be okay. I’ve learned that you just have to face whatever life throws at you head on. Some days I feel strong, other days not so much, but I wake up every morning and put one foot in front of the other until I find that I am moving forward.

Whenever things feel hopeless, I hear my mother’s voice,
you must have faith in God, Ramona, and you must have faith in yourself. Always know that if you have faith, true faith, you can accomplish anything
. Despite everything she went through, my mother never gave up and neither will I. Life is a roller coaster, or in my case it’s a Ramonacoaster. Sometimes it’s thrilling, sometimes it’s terrifying, but you just have to raise your hands in the air, throw your head back, and enjoy the ride.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

First I would
like to thank all of my fans for the love and support over the years and this most difficult recent journey.

To my mother: Through
her I became the strong independent woman I am. She taught me to be directed and positive and that I could attain anything in my life.

To Mario: I thank
you for being a great husband and father for so many years. Through your love and support I accomplished so many things.

Avery, you have been
my shining light through some of my darkest moments. I look at you and see a young woman who is as beautiful inside as on the outside. You have wisdom beyond your years. You have a great soul, heart and such compassion. The love I have for you surpasses anything I thought possible. You inspire me to embrace my new beginnings.

Thanks to my managers
at NBTV Studios who have helped me through this exciting process.

Lastly, to everyone at
Bravo: The journey on RHONY has taught me so many things about myself.

And to Andy Cohen,
who has given me his encouragement and helped me be me. . .