Life With Toddlers (6 page)

These prompts are not only the best type to use, but also easier to fade.  For example, you can use these along with verbal cues.  Then, as the child understands and demonstrates the task and sequence, you can stop using so many physical prompts and stick to the verbal prompts to walk them through (only as needed) until they are independent. 

Example of a physical prompt:

• “Stack the blocks like this.”  Take child’s hand and show him how to stack blocks.
  

Visual:
  This prompt is most often used when attempting to get a verbal response of some sort.  They include written words, pictures, objects, people and places.  You’ll find these prompts hanging on walls in preschool classes (calendars, alphabet, etc.) or made into a book to help nonverbal kids talk or communicate.  (A little speech therapy there.)  Or they can be a building or object in the environment.  Examples:

• Show the child a picture of Daddy and say, “Who’s that?”
  
• Drive up to a McDonalds and ask, “Where are we?”
  
• Hold up a toothbrush and inquire, “What do you do with this?”
  

Using Prompts

Toddlers require prompting all the livelong day.  We just usually do it wrong and promptly get furious when we get a negative response.  Study the different prompts.  Figure out which ones you’re using.  If you find that you’re sticking only to verbal, change your habits.  Use more physical prompts and modeling for difficult activities.  And girly, this means actually putting down your coffee (nooooooo!), getting up, and showing your toddler exactly what you want done and how.  I promise, correctly using physical (and other) prompts will cut the learning time in half.  When you give kids hands on training for certain tasks, the probability they’ll pick it up sooner and start doing it independently increases dramatically.  This takes more time and effort up front, but the decrease in later frustration is fantastic!

One of THE biggest problems getting through the toddler years is lack of communication.  As a speech therapist, you find out quickly that it’s the basis for most behavior problems you run into during therapy.  And as a mom, you figure out all too soon that you’re clueless most of the time: Your toddler wants milk, not juice.  He’s tired; doesn’t want to rock.  Teeth are the problem, not a stomachache.  No, little baby doll doesn’t want peas, she wants crackers.  On and on it goes.  How many times a day do we fret over WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?  Sometimes we know, most of the time we don’t.  We guess.  We’re wrong, so we try again.  Oooo, we got a swat that time, so that can’t be it.  Let’s try something else.  Okay, you’re not interested in the keys or remote control, so I give up!  Cry your heart out; I’m stumped!

You can head off so many problems and headaches by teaching your child Sign Language.  Even five or ten signs can make a world of difference cutting out the whining and fussing.  Start with the very basic one-year-old needs: milk, eat, finished, sleep, more, help, bath, binky.  Once you get those down, expand: banana, cracker, water, juice, duck, bird, ball, dog, cheese.  It’s absolutely stunning how much a
baby
knows and cannot tell you for lack of ability to talk.  At all of twelve months old, one of my kids pointed to her empty bottle one night and signed, ‘milk, eat, finished, sleep’.  She was essentially telling me, “I’m finished with my food and bottle; now I’m full and it’s time for bed.” 

Teaching your child sign language opens up doors for communication.  A child that can’t
tell
you what she’s thinking but can
sign
what she’s thinking is an altogether different child.  And toddlers
are
thinking, I promise.  They know what they want, how they feel, and they process thoughts; they just can’t convey it.  Problem solving.  Thinking.  Processing.  She can do it all.  She just can’t tell you.  Teach her some signs and she will.

Kids acquire language and begin talking in a wide range.  Every kid is different.  How they react to and pick up signs will vary.  One kid can have 100 signs by the time she’s two, yet another will barely use any because she’s talking early and doesn’t need them to communicate.  You won’t know if they’re going to be ‘talkers’ until they hit about 12 months, so go ahead and start teaching signs.  At the very least, you’ll always use the basic starter signs.  The best time to start teaching Sign Language is about 8 months old or when they demonstrate the ability to wave bye-bye.  That’s a sign, and it tells you they associate hand movements with actions or objects, and they have the appropriate motor skills.

To introduce a sign, use it each and every time you get out the object and present it to your child.  “Milk” is always the best first sign because it’s a basic and common need.  When your child begins indicating a need for a bottle or breast, present it while signing and saying “milk”.  Use physical prompts and manipulate their hands to show them how to make the sign.  (Remember, physical prompts are the most effective, especially when teaching Sign Language.)  After you manipulate their hands, give the milk
immediately
so they associate the sign with the activity/object.  Over time you can eventually fade the prompts.  Ideally, to get what they want, they must do something functional; sign instead of cry or fuss – even if it’s only you manipulating their hands to make the sign.  The most important point here is to
be consistent
.  Otherwise you’ll just confuse them.  Keep it up and have faith. 

Now, always the one to throw a wrench into the technically correct, I have a bit to add here.  As a Mommy currently going through this signing business (a-
gain
) I must interject and allow you to fudge the steps.  Sometimes your child will get mighty angry with you.  If he’s starving, frustrated, or out of control and crying furiously, you can occasionally forget about the physical prompt.  Make the sign yourself and quickly meet the need.  When he calms down, and if the object is still the main focus (i.e., he’s still drinking his bottle), you have another opportunity and can try to manipulate his hands if you like.  But don’t tick him off.  Just bear in mind that next time you must examine the
A
in the Toddler ABC Guide and set up the situation better. 

Don’t wait until he’s aggravated beyond control before you start the task or meet the need.  Rather, attempt the physical and verbal prompts when you know your child is receptive.  It may take several weeks (or in rare cases a month or two) until they finally start signing independently, but they will.  And the sweetness of seeing your baby sign…uh!  Makes my heart pitter-pat to think of it!    

Once you get the starter signs down, get online or hit your local bookstore and pick up any old book on baby signs.  And if the signs are too complex, modify them so your baby’s hands can actually make them.  For instance, I’ve found that the sign for “ball” is too difficult and needs to be modified.  However, sometimes a child will automatically modify the signs and you can just follow their lead.  “Finished” usually ends up as simply flapping hands up and down, which is fine.  And “balloon” and “binky” are completely made up in my house.  Making up and modifying signs is okay, as long as they’re specific, and all caregivers understand the sign in context.  My first kid used the same sign (that she made up) for “video” and “cheerios”, but given context, I always knew what she wanted, and it didn’t matter.  My third kid makes “blanket” and “bath” look pretty much the same, but who really cares?  Keep your eye on the big picture; communicating quickly, easily, and efficiently.  That’s what counts.

Here are some basic signs for you to begin with:

Finished:
Palms up, then flip down

Bath:
Move fists up and down body as if scrubbing

Milk:
Open and close fist as if milking a cow

Eat:
Closed fingers to mouth