Life With Toddlers (20 page)

The first by-themselves-overnight-visit with family or friends is the worst.  We Mommies could have a coronary for all the anxiety!  Instead of enjoying our time off, what do we do?  We spend not ONE moment relaxing, and become obsessed with how filthy the bathrooms are.  Now is as good a time as any!  Every toilet and tile must glisten!  After our hands are raw and we reek of bleach, we throw ourselves on the floor of the nursery, weeping and hoping that absorbing our angel’s smell will make our hearts stop aching. 

The initial letting go is always dreadfully difficult, but once accomplished, it gets better.  As a good Mommy, you will, of course, have the vicious tug of war we all have.  But once you realize that your child will survive even if his oranges aren’t sliced just the way he likes them, you will be able to let go, if only for a while.  Use the extended time to catch up on big projects or relax and give your mate the full attention he (or she) deserves. 

You know, some people insist on making it seem like life with toddlers is peachy-dandy all the time.  They’ve got it down!  And hey – maybe they do.  More power to ‘em.  But most of us literally take it day by day.  There are some days (or weeks) in which we consider it categorically fantastic to simply make it to the end of the night without collapsing into sobs of self-pity and exhaustion.  Forget a clean house.  Forget a happy day.  Sometimes it’s all about getting through in one piece.  Having toddlers is delightful, but at the same time, intense and grueling.

But at the end of the day, when all diapers are changed, blocks collected, army men put back together, and sippy cups retrieved from under the couch, breathe a deep sigh of relief.  You’ve made it through another chaotic twenty-four hours.  Savor it.  Recall every single moment with your little angel.  Burn those bright eyes, darling smile, and fantastic laugh into your brain.  One of these days you’ll wake up and realize you don’t have to clean apple juice out of your carpet anymore.  Your eyes will mist as you recall the little person who used to waddle around your house or gleefully smear spaghetti sauce into his hair.  You’ll desperately miss holding your little angel tight, getting a slobbery kiss, and hearing the words, “I lub ooo.” 

You may be exhausted, but take the time to cherish the life of your toddler.  If today was rotten, try again tomorrow.  Love your little guy with everything you’ve got and hang in there.  You are a great Mommy.  Times are rough now, but they will get better. 

I may be fairly traumatized at the moment, but I do know I’ll look back on these turbulent times and miss the pitter-patter of tiny feet, the desperate howls for blankies, and cheerful greetings of “Hi, Momma!  How you feeling today, honey?”  I’ll long for the reaction of “wooow!” for everything from plastic french fries to a big red wagon.  I’ll miss playing with Poppy as she makes me “dinner” at her toy kitchen, asking if I’d like peanut butter on my cob of corn.  And I’ll recall with a smile the times when Mimi suffers a boo boo and whimpers, “I sorry!” or how she exclaims, “
No
eat soap!” every time we enter the bathroom.    

It may not seem like it now, but this time in your life will pass quickly enough.  Each day is a gift, a challenge, and an opportunity.  Make the best of each new sunrise, and the rewards will come.  I know you can do it.  After all, you’re a Mommy!  

How your mood sets the stage.

Why recharging yourself is important.

Basic recharging (exercise, hobbies) and how to find time.

How looking good makes us feel good – and be better Mommies.

Why time with friends is important.

Sharing the shame of child-induced memory loss.

The difficulty of initially “letting go” to recharge.

This is the second edition of Life with Toddlers.  I wanted to scale it down, give more point-by-point information, and add an index.  (My friend Carey read the first edition and screamed “Where’s the index!?  I need an index!”)  The index does not include every page where a word (i.e. behavior) is written, since many of the terms in this book are used too frequently!  So I kept the index to main definitions or main points on the word/subject.  Overall, hopefully the information will flow better and allow for quicker reading than the first edition - cuz dadgum, this thing is LONG!! 

I wrote this book over an eight year period, so as you read along, at one point I’ve got two kids, then I’ve got three, or the oldest is two, then she’s four…it can get confusing at times, and I apologize.  I started writing this when my first child turned two and my second child was six months old.  (I know what you’re thinking, and YES, I was nuts…now you know why it took eight years!)  But I truly felt like no one out there understood my pain.  I had twelve different parenting books and they were 90% ridiculous.  I really wanted to write a book while I was
actually raising
toddlers – and put it out there to share with Mommies in the same boat.  Once you get past toddlerhood, it’s just like childbirth; you tend to forget how truly hard it can be.  All the books I researched just didn’t get that.  So over 8 years of toddlerhood, I hope I conveyed the empathy, yet matured enough (does grey hair count?) to enlighten you with a tiny bit of wisdom as I struggled through mastering the art of parenting toddlers.   And hey – I finally made it.  Yesterday we went to the Texas State Fair, and for the first time ever, we didn’t bring the stroller.  I feel like such a grown up!  (Now give me more cotton candy and fried butter!) 

Also, please keep in mind: Beating around the bush is definitely not my style, but my writing is meant to be entertaining, not harsh or judgmental.  Take it or leave it, but don’t take it personal!  You know I love ya, Mommy!      

Michelle Smith is a Speech-Language Pathologist and mother of three. She has worked with a wide range of toddlers covering the spectrum from those with simple speech impairments to those with profound brain damage. Commingling her professional skills and personal experience, she truly understands the awesome task of balancing love and guidance. Her unique perspective and distinct voice allows her to empower discouraged caregivers with heart-felt, professional, and realistic advice.

Dr. Rita Chandler holds a Doctor of Philosophy in Educational Psychology with a focus on Early Childhood Special Education. She is a Board Certified Behavior Analyst specializing in Early Intensive Behavioral Intervention (EIBI) for young children with Pervasive Developmental Disorders.  She works as a collaborating partner at Autism Behavior Consultants of Oklahoma, providing autism and behavioral consulting and training to individuals, school districts, and state agencies. She is an expert in Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA), a highly specialized and successful technique for changing human behavior.  She loves Scottie dogs and spends her spare time spoiling her nieces and nephews – and of course, her three pooches: Kreela, Max, and Tucker.

From the Author of
Life with Toddlers
, it's the
Toddler ABC Guide to Discipline
. If you have a friend or relative that needs the boiled down, fast version of
Life with Toddlers
, then the
Toddler ABC Guide to Discipline
is the answer.

Reviews for
Toddler ABC Guide to Discipline
:

"Get's to the heart of toddler discipline, quickly and concisely.  Great read for mommies on the go!" - Monica Y.

"Easy, Fast, Real Results..." - Kathy T.

Brass, outspoken and witty, "Taboo Secrets of Pregnancy" dishes out practical advice and pee-in-your-pants fun like no one yet. Join this pregnant mom of two as she journeys yet again through the rough and tumble life of a pregger. Boldly proclaiming taboo truths on those touchy subjects that books gloss over and doctors 'forget' to mention, this guide lets empathy roll in as the naked bum of truth is bared.
From gassy bellies and "fartle" (mercy alive!) to sprouting hairs in unmentionable places, "Taboo Secrets of Pregnancy" spells it out in no uncertain terms, and actually provides realistic guidance on what the blazes to do about it.
Just a few taboo topics are:
*Twenty Four Pounds of Boob, Comin' Through!
*Kill me, Float me, and Get-it-Out!
*Puke-a-Rama (Brutal nausea)
*Bad Nose, Bad! (Misbehaving noses)
*Don't Buy a Hot Pink Swimsuit
*The Art of Peeing in a Cup
*Varicose (or 'Very Gross') Veins
*Train to Grossville (Passing your plug)
Say goodbye to fragile advice and get ready to hear it like it is. Toughen up your delicate senses, girly! You're about to take a break from the technical tomes, and dive in for an adventure in gestating!