Lily’s War (21 page)

‘Don’t say it!’ she said, making to walk past him.

‘It wasn’t him?’ He flung his sodden hat into the air.

She wanted to burst into tears but gritted her teeth instead. ‘What are you doing here?’

‘I said I’d come back. You’ve saved me a journey. Although I’ve have had a lousy one so far. There’s floods further south and the train was delayed. If this keeps up we’ll be stuck here.’

‘God forbid. I never thought of rain like this in connection with Australia.’ She lowered her head against a sudden squall.

‘It’s the rainy season.’ He grinned. ‘You should have done your homework before coming.’

‘Oh shut up!’ she said sourly.

‘Be thankful it’s not cold.’ He plucked the suitcase from her hand and walked off with it. She made no haste to catch up with him, having a fair idea where he was going. She was deathly tired and needed a rest.

Lily booked in at the same hotel as Rob, seeing no reason to look elsewhere. She refused his invitation to dine but when she came down later he was alone in the dining room and the wind was rattling the windows and bending the trees. It was scary and she did not feel like being alone. Besides, if they were the only two in the place, they would spend the whole time either glancing at each other or trying to avoid doing so. She sat opposite him.

‘I thought you’d change your mind.’ His face wore that smug expression that irritated her.

‘I might change it again if you start making smart remarks.’ She sought for something to say and came up with the banal comment: ‘I’ve never known such wind.’

His dark eyebrows rose. ‘They have cyclones up here. Drink?’

‘You mean this could be the start of a cyclone?’ Her voice rose in alarm.

He placed a hand on her shoulder and his mouth against her ear. ‘Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die,’ he shouted.

She pushed his hand off her shoulder. ‘You’re really cheerful.’

He grinned inanely and went in the direction of the bar and she wondered why she put up with his company. She thought of Matt and hoped there would be plenty of rum in the drink. There had been little rest for her since the return of the brothers and she was tired of the thoughts going round and round in her head and could do with a good night’s sleep.

The waiter brought some kind of mutton stew. ‘What do you think of this wind?’ she shouted.

‘Known worse,’ he said laconically and left her.

Rob came back with their drinks. ‘This weather could take the roof off.’

‘The waiter said it could be worse,’ she murmured, not looking up from her plate.

‘He’s trying not to worry you.’ He raised his glass. ‘Here’s to tomorrow and that we’re still here.’

She gulped down half her drink. ‘I’m leaving for Sydney tomorrow.’

‘That’s if we’re still alive, Lil.’ His eyes slid down over her face and the outline of her breasts in the close-fitting frock. Lily chose to ignore the look and his comment.

The wind continued to howl like a thousand banshees. She glanced at a window. The rain had stopped for a short while but now it was coming down in sheets. She thought of sailors at sea and felt overwhelmingly sorry for them. She thought of Matt and fumbled for her drink and drained the glass.

‘Another, please,’ she said loudly, pushing the glass towards Rob. ‘And when you come back, you can tell me all about your sister. I want to know exactly what she’s like.’

Rob stared at her and opened his mouth but no words came out because at that moment there was a sound like an express train approaching and the whole building shook.

Lily sprang to her feet in alarm. There was almighty bang as several windows shattered. Rob flung her to the floor, rolling her under the table as flying glass, debris and rain were blown across the room. She clung to him in terror, believing her last hour had come and wishing she was with Matt. The wind having found an entry sent pictures and cutlery crashing, whirled cloths from tables and bowled over chairs and tables. Rob hooked his arms round a leg of their table and, realising why, she did likewise with another leg. It seemed the sensible thing to do when at any moment the roof might fall in.

They remained under the table for what seemed like hours. Several times it shifted and they with it, but after a while their particular gust of wind seemed to lose impetus while elsewhere others were wreaking havoc.

Inside the room it went quiet and they released their hold on the table and crawled from beneath it. Still on her knees, Lily gazed round the wrecked dining room. ‘Oh God,’ she said unsteadily, ‘I don’t think I can stand up.’

‘I thought you were tough,’ said Rob, getting to his feet and offering her a hand.

‘We don’t have cyclones in Liverpool.’ She took his hand, only to have him catapult her against him. His arms went round her. ‘What are you doing?’ she said in a flat voice, knowing now it had been a definite mistake staying in his company.

That grin she was getting to know so well came into play. ‘I thought you might still want to hold on to me. You were like a limpet before.’

‘I’d have hung on to the waiter and he’s fat and forty,’ she said drily.

‘I don’t believe you. I think you like me.’

He tilted her chin and his mouth came down over hers in a manner that was as determined as it was ruthless. She responded without intending to, although in no way was there a sense of drowning in pleasure as with Matt’s first kisses. When Rob lifted his head to draw breath, she said, ‘That’s enough.’

‘No, it’s not. You kissed me back.’ He said it with that confident smugness that was beginning to drive her mad.

‘Don’t read anything into that,’ she said firmly. ‘And you’re wrong, Mr Fraser, I don’t like you.’

He smiled. ‘Like too bland a word? Shall we say we find each other attractive?’

Lily thought about that, leaning back against his arm so she could watch his face. Perhaps if she had not had a couple of drinks she might not have been so honest. ‘I’m not sure what I feel about you. I feel something but it’s a far cry from what I feel for my husband. I happen still to love him.’

Rob frowned. ‘How do we know he is your husband? If he’s done the dirty on you and run off with my sister, he could have other women in different places.’

Lily was utterly taken aback. ‘That’s a lousy thing to say!’

‘How long have you known him?’

‘What’s that got to do with anything?’

‘So you haven’t known him long?’

She felt like hitting him but was stopped by someone clearing their throat and saying, ‘You two all right?’

Lily jumped and pushed Rob away. She picked up a fallen chair and then looked at the staff gathered there. ‘Do you want a hand clearing up?’

‘It mightn’t have finished with us yet.’ The receptionist’s face was glum as, wielding a brush on a table, she sent glass splintering to the floor.

‘We could make a start, though,’ said Lily, considering she would be glad to do anything to keep her out of the arms of Rob Fraser, whom she could sense was glowering at her.

‘OK.’ The woman smiled and handed the sweeping brush to her. ‘I’ll get another – and thanks.’

‘I think I’ll have a drink,’ drawled Rob, and skirting the debris on the floor, left the clearing up to Lily and the others.

When she went to bed, despite the rum she could not sleep because she was wondering what to do about Rob. She had spoken the truth about what she felt about him but his words about Matt had hit their target. Not that she believed for one minute Matt could be a bigamist but maybe she was making a mistake in expecting such high standards from him, just because he was a man of God. She remembered Ben saying how human he was and Matt himself saying he was no saint, but if it was true and he was with this girl – she felt terribly hurt and depressed by the thought – where were they?

The thought continued to taunt her until the wind began to drop about six in the morning and she fell into a doze. When she woke it was to sun climbing in a blue shiny bowl of sky, painted with a few rosy-edged ragged clouds. The air was warm, clammy and sweet with the scent of rain-sodden petals.

Lily packed her suitcase but left it in the bedroom until she found out when the train going south was leaving. She went out into the debris-strewn street and walked in the direction of the station. Half a roof was missing from a building and several trees had been uprooted. The sea roared loudly and she guessed it would take a little longer for the waves to calm down.

Rob was already at the station. ‘The train’ll be an hour or so late. There’s an obstruction on the line.’

‘As long as it’s leaving,’ she said quietly.

He scrutinised her face as he walked alongside her back up the street. ‘Have you any idea now where to look for the preacher?’

She forced a smile. ‘Do you think I’d tell you if I did?’

‘If you want to prove to me he’s your husband, I reckon you would.’

‘Why should I want to prove anything to you?’ she said, exasperated. ‘You don’t think I believe he’s like some sailor with so-called wives in every port?’ He was silent. ‘You can’t,’ she said with a laugh. ‘It’s stupid! I know him. He’s an honest man.’

‘They why didn’t he tell us he was married?’

‘Did you ask him whether he was?’

‘No, but—’

‘There you are then!’

A scowl crossed his face. ‘My sister was hooked on him. He must have seen that. I reckon she had it so bad he’d be able to make her do anything.’

Lily felt a cold sensation in the pit of her stomach. His conviction was hard to cope with. ‘I’ve had enough of this,’ she said tersely. ‘I think it’s best if we say goodbye right now and don’t have anything more to do with each other.’

Rob’s mouth set stubbornly. ‘I’m not saying goodbye until one of them turns up. You should feel the same.’

She held on to her temper. ‘Matt could be in Sydney now! Your sister could be at home. I suggest we go our separate ways to see if that’s so. We write and let the other know if it is or isn’t. Will that suit you?’

He shook his head. ‘We go to my place first and if we draw a blank there we go to Sydney.’

Lily felt a moment’s helplessness. ‘Rob, can’t you understand, I don’t want your company!’

A slow smile lit his face. ‘That’s the first time you’ve called me by my first name.’

‘So?’ She laughed. ‘I thought Australians were famous for being matey and you’ve called me Lil several times.’

‘That’s got nothing to do with it, I reckon. I think you’re softening towards me and that’s why you’re scared of being with me.’

She shook her head, confounded by his determination. But she could be just as determined. ‘I’m not going to your place. I’m tired of the pioneer spirit. It’s the city for me.’

‘We have an electric generator.’

‘No!’ she said firmly, and walked away, praying he would stay out of her life.

It appeared Lily’s prayer was answered because there was no sign of Rob after she boarded the train. She had bought Marcus Clarke’s
For the Term of His Natural Life
in an attempt to understand the Australian mentality, but found it difficult to become completely caught up in the book, though it did leave her wondering if Matt had broken down after all, and whether he had perished of thirst or starvation in the grey hostile bush as so many escaped convicts had in the early days. She did not want to believe it but it was another thought to go round and round in her tired brain.

When she left the train in Sydney, she found Rob waiting for her at the barrier. Her nerves, already fraught due to uncertainty and worry, caused her to snap at him: ‘Can’t you take no for an answer?’

‘I got to thinking.’

‘You’ll be putting a strain on your brain.’

His smile faded. ‘That’s not funny.’

‘It wasn’t meant to be. I’m just not pleased to see you.’

‘That’s because you’re scared of the truth about you and me and that so-called husband of yours.’

‘You’re fooling yourself!’ Lily pushed past him and ran. She’d had enough.

Sydney looked wonderful. The sun shone on sandstone buildings, turning them golden, while water from sprinklers glistened on the hairy stems of giant tree ferns. The temperature was what Lily, having been in the north, would now call pleasant and if she could find Matt at the house with a reasonable explanation for his absence she would be deliriously happy. She just wanted to see him. Lugging her suitcase, she caught a ferry across the harbour.

Joy opened the door but did not look overwhelmingly pleased to see her. ‘I didn’t expect you! I’ve got some friends here,’ she said hurriedly.

A sigh escaped Lily. ‘I take it there’s no news of Matt?’

‘None. I presume you haven’t heard anything either?’ she said in rapid tones.

‘Would I be asking if I had?’ Lily’s voice was sarcastic. She did not feel like being nice to anyone now.

There was a long silence while she waited for Joy to move out of the way so she could step inside, but the other woman just stood there, not looking at her.

‘The thing is,’ said Joy, ‘it’s not unknown for men to take off into the bush if there’s something they want to get away from. It’s easy to disappear here.’

Lily could hardly believe what she had said. ‘Are you suggesting Matt wanted to get away from me?’

‘I wasn’t saying that exactly!’ Joy flushed. ‘I mean, I don’t know what I meant,’ she said unhappily. ‘I just don’t know what to say. I can’t understand what’s happened to Matt.’

‘Do you think he’s dead?’ said Lily bluntly.

‘Dead?’ Joy’s eyes met hers briefly. ‘I suppose it’s possible. What do you think?’

‘I don’t know what to think. I was convinced he was up in Queensland but I was wrong.’

‘What are you going to do?’

A harsh laugh escaped Lily. ‘Right now I’d like to get into my husband’s part of the house, Joy. I’ve been travelling for days and I’m desperate for a cup of tea. So if you could let me pass, I’d appreciate it.’

‘Of course!’ She turned pink. ‘I wasn’t thinking! Come in and meet the girls. I’ll make the tea.’ She led the way into the backyard where a couple of heavily pregnant women were sitting in the shade, sewing tiny garments. ‘Patsy, Nita, this is Lily. She’s from England.