Look After Me (21 page)

“I’d be blind not to, Addison. You make half of those supermodels and celebrities look mild in comparison. You’re gorgeous and I think every guy on this planet would agree. It’s probably why Blaize wants to marry you and have all of your children.” I smile.

She laughs. “Oh God, that kid seriously gives me the creeps.” Her laughter quickly dies down and her eyes narrow on mine. “Has it really been that long since you know, you’ve had
sex?
” I find it sweet how she blushes at the word.

“Yeah and I can even tell you the exact date. It was May second, the day before I got deployed to Afghanistan. It was the last time I was intimate with Ava.” She gives me a pained look, but it’s not a look of jealousy at the mention of Ava, it’s one of sympathy instead. Hating to be in the limelight of sympathy, I steer away from it. “I’ve had sex since but it wasn’t exactly memorable. As you can imagine, my hormones are kind of all over the place. So that, on Saturday, was me being a typical guy. There’s no other excuse.”

She contemplates my words for a few moments. “Did you kiss me because you’re attracted to me or because I was just there?”

She still doesn’t get just how fucking beautiful she is. I wouldn’t maul just anybody. I have standards, you know?
God, I sound like a jerk.
“I think you already know the answer to that question.”

“So your freak out wasn’t because you regretted it?”

Regretted it? Hell, I’ll have the taste of her sweet nipple etched on my mind until the day I die. I shift closer and look her dead in the eye. “The only thing I regret is the way that I treated you. You didn’t deserve that.” I pause for a moment. “I really like you, and I’m ridiculously attracted to you, but my list of fucked up issues are as long as my arm and you’re my friend and my drug counselor. I’ve lost every single friend because I was too high to give a shit about them, so you’re pretty much the only friend I have. I don’t want to risk ruining our friendship because I let my dick rule my head. You’re more important to me than just a quick fuck.”

I jump at the sound of her belly-roaring laughter. “You do realize you’ve cussed and said ‘sex’ in the house of the Lord more than once, right?”

I can’t keep the smirk from off my face. “Well, it looks like we’re both going to Hell then.”

Her laughter dies down and she gives me a heartfelt look. “I like that you see me as a friend, and I understand how you wouldn’t want to jeopardize that for a cheap thrill. I respect that about you. Not a lot of guys would take that into consideration. You, Sebastian, are one of the sweetest guys I’ve ever known.”

“So we’re okay?”

She beams her beautiful smile and
Jesus,
I want to take my words back, press my lips against hers and continue where we left off last week.

“Yes, we’re more than okay. Shall we just forget that Saturday ever happened?”

“Yes, absolutely,” I say with an honest smile but the words are anything but honest. There is no way I’m ever going to be able to forget what happened on Saturday night, especially if nothing can ever happen between us again. Hell, just the thought of my mouth around her nipple is threatening to get me hard again. She leans over and puts her arms around me in an embrace and
oh God,
her smell is assaulting every one of my senses.

“What do you think about getting out of here and grabbing some food? I’m starving.”

“Sure, what were you thinking?” I ask as we both stand and head towards the exit.

“Chinese?”

“Chinese sounds great.”

And just like that it’s as if nothing has ever happened.

The next couple of weeks go by and I have to say, I’m the happiest I’ve been for a long time. I still haven’t found a cure for my raging hard on, but everything else seems to be working out just fine. Amazing even. My job is perfect, and the joy of waking up in the morning and doing something I enjoy is incredible. I’ve spent the majority of the past year waking up in the morning with a bitter taste in my mouth and asking myself ‘what’s the fucking point?’

Now I wake up, eager to get the day started. I’m beginning to feel like my old self more and more.

Everything with Lily is perfect. Now that I’m getting my life back on track, I’ve gained Ava’s trust and have my daughter for a full night every Thursday. One night isn’t enough, but for now, I’m happy.

Things with Ava are still as strained as ever. She tries to make conversation with me, but the bitterness and the hatred she created when she hurt me all of those months ago continue to burst out of me. It’s uncontrollable. I wish I could be amicable with Ava, especially for Lily, but it’s impossible to find the strength to forgive her when everything still feels so fresh. Maybe one day I’ll be able to bury the hatchet, but right now amicable is out of the question.

Then there is Addison.

Since our heart to heart a couple of weeks ago, our friendship is stronger than ever. The attraction hasn’t disappeared, and there are still times I want to jump her bones but it’s eased somewhat after opening up to her. She’s been incredibly understanding about everything and I’m glad she hasn’t let one little mistake ruin our friendship. We still get a little flirty but things between us are exactly how they should be and I’m happy that we can both be on the same page. We don’t want lustful attraction ruining our friendship, no matter how horny and frustrated we might be. A sexual relationship is completely out of bounds.

However, that thought quickly goes out of the window as I enter the gym for my Saturday shift and realize my first client of the day is Addison. She’s dressed in a pair of tight-fitting yoga pants and a tight-fitting white tank top that accentuates each and every one of her curves. She also has her hair in a ponytail, which shows off her incredibly sexy neck.
Fuck she’s hot.

I walk over to her at the reception desk with my clipboard in hand, a smile on my lips. “Hey, what are you doing here?”

She stands tall in her sneakers, or attempts to stand tall considering she’s about five foot nothing. “I’m here for my orientation and first training session with you.” She looks a little worried for a moment before adding, “That’s okay, right?”

“Of course,” I say, taking away the worry lines from her forehead. “I just don’t understand why.”

“I want you to toughen me up. Ever since that girl beat the shit out of me, I’ve realized just how weak I am. But now with my injuries completely healed, I want to learn how to look after myself in case another psycho decides to take a swing at me.”

“Well, I can definitely help with that,” I say as I begin to lead us through the gym area. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

She looks up and gives me an amused grin. “I kind of wanted to surprise you. Sounds dumb, I know, but what can I say? I like a little mystery.”

We continue to walk down the corridor until we reach the entrance to the gym. I hold the door open for two young girls, who blink abashedly at me in thanks before walking away. Addison laughs beside me.

“What the hell was that?” she asks once we’ve walked through the door.

“I think that’s their way of trying to flirt with me.”

Addison almost chokes with laughter. “Flirting? They both looked as though they had a bad case of cataracts or some kind of twitching disorder.”

I laugh. “Apparently they think it’s sexy.”

Addison’s mouth falls open with disbelief before she laughs. “Jesus, I’m either really out of touch with reality or they need to look up the definition of sexy.”

Leaning closer to Addison, I say in a lowered voice, “Well, Jacob seems to love it since he’s slept with every single girl who bats their eye lashes at him.” And that really isn’t an exaggeration. The guy is a dog.

Just as I say that, Jacob spots us and saunters over. My entire body goes rigid as he eye fucks Addison, taking in her curves just as I had minutes earlier. But I’m not a man whore and Addison is off limits. There’s no way in hell I’m letting him get his filthy paws on her.

No fucking way.

“Hey, and who do we have here?”

The green-eyed monster churns and I feel lightheaded by sheer jealousy. I have the sudden urge to go all alpha male on his ass by placing my arm around Addison’s shoulder and staking my claim on her, but I manage to stop myself. “This is my friend Addison. Addison this is,
Jacob.
”

She lifts her eyebrow and her lips curl up in a tight smile as she takes a quick glance at me before returning her polite eyes to his. “Hi, Jacob, it’s nice to meet you.”

To my dismay, Jacob takes a hold of her hand, and in the slimiest
douchebag
way, he grazes his lips against her knuckles and actually fucking kisses her.

What the fuck?

“No, the pleasure is all mine.”

I’m pretty sure Addison shivers beside me, but from the look of horror on her face, it’s anything but pleasurable. She shifts uncomfortably and I seriously have to reel my shit together as he continues to check her out. If he were a cartoon character, his eyes would have popped out of his eye sockets right about now.

“Haven’t you got a client this morning?”
Or a poor woman to go and violate in the changing rooms.

After a delayed reaction, his eyes finally meet mine, a smug smile on his smug face. “Yes, I’m just admiring the view.” He turns his gaze back to Addison and shamelessly checks her out from head to toe before returning his attention back to me. “Damn, where have you been hiding her?” he questions as if Addison isn’t standing next to me.

My nostrils flare, which only makes his smirk widen. Not only is this beyond inappropriate, it’s downright disrespectful. After staring him down, he nods knowingly before taking a step back.

“I get it, no worries. I’ll back off. Don’t get your panties in a twist. I’ll see you around,
Addison.
”

Once he’s out of earshot, I turn to Addison and she’s actually smiling. “Wow, he’s . . . um, really something, huh?”

“I’m so sorry, Addison, but that’s Jacob for you.” I shrug. He’s such an ass. If he didn’t have such a jackass reputation with women, he’d actually be a decent guy. Hell, I want sex as bad as the next guy—I have the blue balls to prove it—but I’d never turn into an arrogant asshole just to get into some girl’s pants. My mother taught me better than that.

Addison gives me a once over. “Are you okay? You seriously looked as though you were about to blow a fuse.”

I finally unclench my tense muscles, and force out a smile. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

She gives me an incredulous glare that has ‘bullshit’ written all over it. I sigh and decide to give her the truth. Well, half the truth. “It’s just the way he was looking at you like you were some new found meat pissed me off. The guy is a grade A asshole and you definitely need to steer clear of guys like him,
especially him.
”

She smiles up at me, a pretty glint in her eyes. “I love your bodyguard instincts but you don’t have to worry. I’m officially done with men, especially assholes like him. I hate arrogance. It’s an absolute turn off for me and he oozes it from his pores. You,” she says with a point of the finger, “are the type of guy I find sexy. You’re sweet, sensitive, handsome, and incredibly muscular—that’s sexy. Jacob . . . well, let’s just say I don’t like to date a guy who has bigger pecs than me.”

Even though I’m still trying to process the fact that she finds me sexy, and I believe she even called me handsome, I laugh. “Come on,” I urge through my laughter, leading her into the direction of the private office to get started with her fitness assessment. “Let’s get started. Once we’re done with the fitness assessment and the orientation, I’ll teach you how to do the groin kick so you can protect yourself from assholes like Jacob.”

She laughs but I’m deadly serious. In order to protect yourself from somebody a whole lot bigger than you, you have to know how to play dirty and a groin kick is one of the best self-defense moves to date. Especially if the victim is five foot nothing like Addison. It’s the perfect level.

Once we’ve got through the fitness assessment, I give her a guided tour of the gym, pointing out the gym facilities and classes that are to her disposal twenty-four hours a day. Once she is familiar with everything, we begin her first session. I lead her over to the treadmills and get her to step on one. I take the treadmill beside her.

“Today we’re just going to focus on some cardio, then a little kick boxing. We’ll start on the treadmill with a five minute brisk walk, then a ten minute run.” I power up Addison’s treadmill on a set timer for a fifteen minute session before turning my machine on. Both of us begin a slow walk as the conveyer belt begins to move in a clockwise motion. “Then we’ll hit the bikes for twenty minutes. Things will get more intense as the weeks go on but for now we’ll start off nice and slow.”

She looks across at me as she begins to pick up speed. “Then are you going to show me how to kick your ass?”

“Hey, I’m teaching you self-defense moves to help protect you. Not so you can use them against me.” She giggles such an adorable laugh that I almost forget the fundamental basics of walking.

“Well, as long as you don’t suddenly turn into Jacob, then your balls are safe with me.”