Look After Me (31 page)

My face breaks out into a smile, and I feel myself relaxing.

“I think you’re freaking out because of the stuff my mom and Lacie have been saying. The stuff about being in love. They don’t know what they’re talking about, okay? They’re just interfering in my life like they’ve always done. You’re my friend who happens to be
amazing
in bed. Nothing more, nothing less.”

She edges even closer until her chest hits mine. Feeling her so close to me has my heart in a heated frenzy. I need to push her away. I need to take a step back and protect what’s important, but at the same time I find it impossible. She’s the only person in my life and I can’t lose that. I can’t.

“Let’s get out of here,” Addison says, interrupting my thoughts.

“Where to?”

“Anywhere. Let’s just take your truck and see where it leads us.”

“Okay.” I fish my keys from out of my pocket and unlock the door with the key fob as I head to the driver’s side. “Shouldn’t you tell your folks we’re heading out?”

“Nah, I’m sure they’ll survive a couple of hours without us. Plus I’m in good hands with my own personal bodyguard.”

AFTER DRIVING AROUND FOR two hours straight, we finally come to a stop on a summit. We both get out of the truck, stretching our legs as we take in the magnificent view of Washington. Once I’ve grabbed a blanket and the bag of food from the backseat—food that we picked up at the gas station earlier on—I open the tailgate, then hoist Addison up by the waist onto the bed of the truck before climbing in after her. We sit on the blanket and I watch as Addison’s eyes trace over our view with a look of amazement etched along her face, finding myself more entranced with her, than the view of Washington.

“Wow, this is one heck of a view, huh?” she asks after a moment, wrapping her arms around her body and shivering slightly against the bitter wind.

I blink heavily through my stupor and focus on the view. “Um, yeah, it’s amazing.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Washington from this view before. Well, maybe on a plane, but it was never like this.”

We sit in silence for a while, and I have to admit I like how comfortable it feels. I don’t feel the need to fill the silence with unnecessary words. Addison has a relaxing presence that eases me. The past day she has definitely overwhelmed me, most of which was my own confusing shit, but now I’m back to the tranquil sensation that Addison brings me.

The sound of my grumbling stomach sounds through the silence, causing Addison to laugh. “Somebody’s hungry, huh? I guess we should eat.” She fishes inside the bag and takes out potato chips, beef jerky, peanut butter cups, pretzels, two
questionable
sub sandwiches, and a jar of Nutella.

“Nutella?”

“Yes. And?”

“Well, usually Nutella is used to spread on toast, waffles, French toast. Not as a main course.”

She unscrews the top and rips off the outer seal before placing it inside the plastic bag. “When I was a kid I used to eat this by the jar.” She dips her index finger into the jar of chocolate spread, then lifts her finger to her mouth and sucks the chocolate off slowly.

My mouth gapes open. That has to be the most erotic thing I’ve ever witnessed.

She giggles. “What? Didn’t you ever do this when you were a kid?”

“Um, no.”

“Didn’t you ever lick the bowl after your mom baked cupcakes?”

“No.”

“Are you serious? You’re totally missing out.”

I lean back on my hands, amused. “How am I missing out exactly?”

“Because Nutella is awesome.” She scoops her finger inside and brings it to my lips. “Have a taste.”

My eyes flicker to her chocolate-coated finger before they flicker up to her eyes, uncertain. “Taste?”

“Yes. Bring out the inner child in you.” She smiles.

I open my mouth, sucking the chocolate off her finger, and I’m instantly aroused. Her breath catches at the back of her throat as I suck the hazelnut chocolate sauce from her finger. She slowly removes her finger, and with a suggestive smile, straddles my lap with the jar of Nutella still in her hands. She takes another scoop, then slides her finger into my mouth again, watching with aroused eyes as I swirl my tongue, licking and sucking every ounce of velvety chocolate.

“Good?” Addison barely croaks out.

“Hmm, it’s
so
good. I think this is the best damn chocolate I’ve ever tasted.” Her eyes flicker and my dick strains against my jeans at the thought of other possible places I could lick it from or the possible places
Addison
could lick it from me. As if she can read my mind, she traces a thin layer of chocolate over my lips, sending a shiver up the ridge of my spine at her faint touch.

“I want a taste.” She lightly touches her lips to mine before she sucks on my bottom lip. An audible growl rises up from my chest at the sensation that her heavenly mouth brings. She pulls away and I wipe the smudged chocolate that lingers on her plump lips then place my thumb into my mouth, licking the sauce clean. She shifts on my lap and my cock must lengthen another two inches at the feel of her pussy rubbing against me.

Damn, I’m so turned on.

“It looks like I missed a bit.” She presses her lips to mine, sucking and nipping my chocolate-coated lips. I grip her jacket tightly with my hands, bringing her closer to me. She pulls her lips from mine. “Nutella tastes good on you.”

I chuckle. “It tastes pretty good on you too. I wonder if it tastes as good if I spread it along here.” I trace my thumb along her breast, causing a gasp to escape her pretty mouth.

“You did say you were hungry, I wouldn’t want to starve you.”

I unzip her jacket, then smirk when I’m greeted with a checkered, button-down shirt.
Easy access.
I begin to undo each button one by one. “It’s as if you planned for my meal in advance.”

Once her shirt is open, I pull her strappy tank top and bra down over one breast. She gasps when the cold November air hits her bare skin. I scoop my finger into the jar and slowly spread a thin layer along the teat of her nipple. Once I’m satisfied, I bring my finger up to her mouth and I almost climax with the way she accepts my thick finger, the warmth of her mouth sucking hard against me, her tongue twirling and licking the chocolate off, moaning at the taste.

Fuck, she’s sexy.

My wet finger gradually falls away from her mouth, my skin erupting with an aftermath of tingles. My eyes flicker to her nipple, erect and covered in chocolate, begging for my attention. I lean down and flick my tongue, getting a creamy taste of Nutella before my mouth descends on her nipple. Since the chocolate sauce has hardened a little, I have to suck harder. Addison bucks against me, moaning into the chilly air, her fingers grasping the strands of my hair.

I briefly pull away. “Nutella for lunch is one of your best idea’s yet.” I smile before tugging her nipple into my mouth, sucking every last bit of chocolate off until she’s bucking against my lap, screaming out my name.
I never knew chocolate could taste so good.

Outdoor sex seems to be
our thing.
As she lies between my legs, with my back leaning against the cab of my truck, huddled under a blanket, I laugh at the very thought.

“Who knew you were such an exhibitionist?” I tease in her ear.

She giggles. “I’m not. You just bring out the wild inhibitions in me. Before I met you, sex stayed strictly in the bedroom.” Even though the image of her having sex with another guy hurts like a bitch, I smile nevertheless.

“That’s kind of depressing. Sex outside of the bedroom is the most exciting kind.”

She pivots her neck to look at me and smirks. “You’re telling me.” She snuggles close, wrapping the blanket tighter around her.

“So,” I begin, unable to keep the smile off my face, “you reckon I’m about eight inches, huh?”

Her ears redden as she rests her head against my chest, laughing nervously. “Oh my God, you heard that?”

“Yes. That and a bunch of other stuff. Do women really talk about stuff like that?”

“Yep, pretty much.”

“Wow. Thirty-two years old and chicks still confuse the hell out of me. And I’ve got one of my own. God, I’m so fucked.”

She laughs. “Wait until she starts middle school and boys become the apple of her eye. That’s when it goes downhill. Get ready for broken hearts and teenage mood swings.”

I lean my chin against Addison’s head, dread filling my veins. “Oh God. I wonder if I could get one of those lock and key underwear so no asshole touches my baby girl ever.”

“You’re going to become one of those overbearing dads aren’t you?”

“No, I’m just going to become a horny teenager’s worst nightmare.”

She bursts out laughing. “And you weren’t one of those horny teenagers?”

“Hell yeah and that’s the very reason why I want those fuckers staying the hell away from my daughter. I know what goes on in a horny teenager boy’s mind, and let me tell you, it’s explicit. Even for a fourteen-year-old. Trust me, it’s not pretty.”

“Well, I feel sorry for the boy who takes her out on her first date. You’re going to be one brutal son of a bitch.”

“Not happening. She’s not dating until she’s at least thirty.”

Once her laughter dies down, she turns to face me, kneeling up on her knees. “You’re so sweet, you know that? You’re an amazing father.”

“I haven’t really felt like one but hearing it from you makes me feel like a good father.”

She smiles, slipping her hands around my neck. “That’s because you are. Your daughter loves you and when she’s older, she’s going to be so damn proud of everything you’ve achieved. She’s going to look at you and think, ‘My dad’s a fucking rock star’ because that’s exactly the same thing I think when I look at my dad.”

I smile at the sentiment. “You think?”

“Absolutely. You’re kind of hard not to love.”

My entire body stills at the mention of love.
She loves me?
A look of panic flits across her face for a brief moment as she realizes her mistake. She smoothes her hands gently down my chest; no doubt a calming measure on her part.

“Hey, take that freaked look off your face. What I mean is you have a charm about you that everybody loves, but you don’t see that about yourself. Your sensitivity tends to overshadow the good with the bad and you get lost within the self-hatred of your emotions, to the extent that even you forget the good in you.” My heart beats a little faster as she places the palm of her hand directly over my heart and I have a hard time deciphering the meaning behind that instant reaction.

“Everybody loves you. Your daughter, your sister, everybody at the NA meetings absolutely adore you. In fact, I’m pretty sure a few of the women would like to love you in more ways than one.” She chuckles. “My parents already love you. You’ve known them for a matter of twenty-four hours and you won them over in an instant. My niece loves you just because your name is Sebastian.” She laughs again. “I . . .” Her laughter falters and she hesitates. A look of uncertainty flashes in her eyes as she swallows nervously, while my own heart catches at the back of my throat, the magnitude of her possible words weighing heavily in my gut. “Um . . . well, you kind of get the gist.” She laughs shakily.

I inwardly sigh with relief, but I can’t hide the sinking disappointment I feel that she didn’t say it.
What the hell is wrong with me?
I think one thing, then feel another. I’m a mess of contradictions, my emotions constantly going AWOL.

“You need to accept that people love you. And in order to accept that love, you need to find the love within yourself first.”

“Yes, counselor,” I mock.

She laughs. “God, I totally went all counselor on your ass then, didn’t I? It’s a default of mine. I seem to do that a lot. I’m sorry.”

“It’s cute. And you’re right. That’s something I still need to work on.”

“But not today. Today is about promiscuous outdoor sex,” Addison says with a devilish smile.

I laugh and hold her tighter against me as a sudden breeze causes me to shiver. “Promiscuous outdoor sex with Nutella.” I wink.

Her pretty laugh fades out naturally, then she readjusts her position so her back is to my chest again. “Can I ask you a question? It’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you.”