Look After Me (35 page)

Addison grasps my chest, pushing me further away. “Don’t worry, we’re leaving. I’m really sorry.”

Once the guy has gone back inside, Addison shoves me, her face fuming. “What the fuck was that, Sebastian?”

“I was giving him what he deserved! The guy’s a douche.”

Addison face glowers with even more anger, her eyes a shade darker. “I don’t need you to fight my battles for me! You’re not my boyfriend, Sebastian. You can’t go all alpha male on me and do shit like that!”

Her words sting but she’s right. I had no right to act like that. “You’re right, I’m sorry.”

“I can’t believe you!” she exclaims, angrier than I’ve ever seen her. “We were having such an amazing night and you had to fucking ruin it by using your fists. You changed into this completely different person, one I didn’t recognize. You can’t go around behaving like a fricking caveman, punching people. You just can’t!”

“I know, I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me,” I say in defeat.

“And now I’m freezing my ass off without my coat because it’s still inside the club, the one you got us kicked out of.” She holds her hands out, just as droplets of rain begin to fall. “And now it’s fucking raining. That’s just
perfect.
Fucking perfect.”

“Let me see if I can grab your coat.”

“No! I’ll go and get my own coat, thank you. You’ve done enough.” I watch as she storms off in the direction of the entrance. Once she’s out of view, I close my eyes, allowing the rain to soak me, letting the past five minutes replay in my head.
Way to go. Way to fucking go.

I have no idea what possessed me to do what I did. I guess I just saw him and remembered how badly beaten Addison’s beautiful face was and I fucking lost it. He deserved a lot more than a punch in the face, that’s for sure.

Tonight just confirms how much Addison really is affecting me. We’re past being friends with benefits. It’s developed into something more, so much more. In fact, thinking about it now, I don’t think it was ever simple between us.

Charging at the wall, I angrily kick it.

I’m so fucking angry.

Angry
at myself.

Angry
at the world.

Angry
at Addison for finding a way in.

Angry
at Ava for making me into this colossal fuck up.

I want simple.

Just for once in my motherfucking life I want the simplicity that life brings.
Is that too much to ask for?

I hear the sound of quickened footsteps returning and my heart constricts when I turn to Addison. She looks like a wet dream, soaked from the rain. She hands me my coat with a face still like thunder, a look that turns me on in an instant. Then without a word, she turns and begins to walk away; away from me. I grab her by the wrist and yank her back, causing her to slam into my chest.

“What?” she scowls.

I respond by slamming my lips on hers, causing her to stumble backwards. A moan vibrates from the back of her throat, so it catches me by surprise when she shoves me away and slaps me across the face.
Fuck,
that hurt. Damn it for being her personal trainer; she’s gotten strong.

“God . . . you’re . . . just . . .” She’s breathing heavily, her nostrils flaring and she’s shivering from the mixture of the rain and cold. “You’re such . . . I . . .”

“What?” I demand, bringing her close to me, my chest flushed with hers.

Her face contorts with pain and she seems to struggle to find the right words. “I can’t.”

I can hear the heavy inhales of her breath, and the way the warmth moves across my lips has my mind in a spin instantly. My entire body heats up with an unbearable lust, no longer able to feel the December chill. Her hands clasp my shirt, almost as if she’s trying to bring me closer, even though it’s physically impossible.

“What, tell me?” I barely recognize the husky tone to my voice.

Her eyes flicker with conflict, her chest rising and falling, her heartbeat slamming against mine. She lets out a frustrated growl before she’s suddenly attacking me and her lips crash heavily against mine. Her hands claw at my chest and buttons pop out of place as her hands scratch down my bare chest.

Using her ass as leverage, I pick her up and wrap her bare legs around my waist, carrying her down a dark alleyway, our lips never once easing their hungry pace. I push her up against the brick wall and lift her skirt up around her waist. Quickly yanking her panties to the side, I shove my finger inside her tight little pussy, causing her to groan against my mouth. We pull apart and I look into her hooded eyes, my finger sliding in and out at a fast pace, causing a gasp to escape her swollen lips.

“God, you drive me crazy,” she breathlessly cries out, her head falling back against the brick wall. Her eyes pierce straight into mine, causing my heart to thud rapidly in my chest.

I insert a second finger, my cock straining at the seams of my jeans at how fucking wet she is, how soaked she is for me, and only me.

“Good, ‘cause you drive me crazy too. So fucking crazy that I can’t even think straight,” I growl, fucking her even harder with my fingers, her pussy dripping with her juices.

“Fuck!” Her screams echo through the alleyway and the need to bury myself in her increases to the extent that it feels as if I will physically die if I don’t feel her pulsating pussy around my cock right now.

She’s my oxygen.

My reason to
breathe.

My reason to
be.

Pulling my fingers from her pussy, I hurriedly unbuckle my belt, undo the zipper of my jeans and slam deep inside of her,
hard,
causing us both to moan out loud. Our bodies tremble from the impact as her fingers sweep through my drenched hair, her eyes transfixed on mine.

“God, I can’t seem to get enough of this,” I grit out as I thrust deep inside of her, my eyes seeking hers, loving the way she feels around me. “You feel amazing. I fucking love your pussy.” I continue thrusting in and out of her, the sound of my heavy grunts and her sweet moans echoing together, making the perfect sound of sexual harmony.

“Sebastian!” she screams and I love the way my name falls from her lips. I think I love everything about her.

“Fuck,” I bite out, my hips speeding up, the sound of slapping skin turning me on even more than I ever knew possible. My hands keep a tight grip on her ass cheeks, my fingers digging into the flesh to stop her from sliding from my grasp.

Who knew fucking in the rain could be so sexy?

Her fingers tug painfully at the strands of my hair as another scream escapes her lips, her entire body trembling at the peak of her arousal. The pain only adds to the volcanic heat that is pumping around my body and I quicken my pace, causing my knuckles to graze roughly against the wall as I adjust Addison higher on my cock.

She lets out one last shrieking scream, her pussy clamping against my cock, milking me for all I have. I’m suddenly sent over the edge and after one final thrust, I bury my face into her neck, sucking against the sweet skin as I shoot my load inside her. A low growl escapes the back of my throat, and her fingernails scratch sharply over my back as she comes down from the intensity of her orgasm.

As I come down from my trembling climax, I kiss my way up to her mouth until I pull away, my eyes tracing over her face. Her dark mascara has left a streaked mess in its wake, intermixed with the rain. Adjusting her weight to just one arm, I wipe the mascara away with my thumb, no doubt smearing more mascara across her face, making it worse.

“Friends with benefits don’t fuck like that,” Addison states. “That was . . .”

I nod, not having to hear her finish her sentence to know what she’s talking about. My hand traces her neck and along her chest, feeling the heavy thumping of her heartbeat between my fingers.

“I know.”

“You’re still an ass,” she says with a tremble of her mouth.

I capture that mouth within mine, tenderly kissing it. “I know.”

“T-this . . . is . . . it’s n-not . . . w-we’re . . .” I bring my thumb up to her stuttering mouth, caressing over the plump of her lips.

“I know.”

I pull away from the wall and she stands on her unsteady feet. Once I’ve pulled her skirt down and pulled my jeans back up, I lift the hood of her coat over her head, shielding her from the downpour. But it doesn’t do anything to ease her shivers.

“Come on, let’s go before we catch pneumonia,” I say picking up my drenched jacket from off the ground—the jacket that was carelessly dropped during our heated moment—and wrap it around Addison’s shoulders before taking her hand in mine.

After hailing a cab, we make it back to Addison’s and head straight for the bathroom to take a hot shower. I turn on the shower, letting the heat circulate the room before peeling the sodden clothes from Addison’s body, her entire body still shivering. I quickly remove my clothes and join her in the shower. The heat hurts like a bitch but after a few minutes my body becomes accustomed to the change in temperature. I watch as the heat begins to turn Addison’s skin pink and she warms up, her shivers easing. Her fingers caress my chest as she looks up at me with her mascara-streaked face. I chuckle.

“You have mascara everywhere.”

She laughs lightly before reaching for the face wash and squeezing a little in her hands. I watch as she washes the mascara away. “Better?”

I wipe away the remaining mascara she missed, removing the panda-eyed look. “Yes.”

“I can’t say the same for you though.” She reaches up to caress just below my swollen eye, right where that dick got a punch in.

“You should see the other guy.” I smirk, pulling her into me as the shower continues to rain over us. My smirk quickly fades. “I’m sorry about earlier. I don’t know what got over me. The last time I got that wound up was when I punched Ashton Douchebag Bailey in the face for sleeping with Ava behind my back.”

“Ashton
Douchebag
Bailey?” she asks with a chuckle.

I smirk. “Yes, he’s the biggest douchebag I know.”

“You think everybody’s a douchebag.”

“True—but he and
Zander
are world class douchebags. And, by the way, Zander? Are you fucking kidding me?” I laugh. “I mean what kind of name is that?”

Her beautiful laugh reverberates against my chest as her head falls forward. “It’s just as bad as
Blaize.
”

“I’ve kind of missed that dumb bastard. It’s a shame he fell off the wagon,” I say honestly.

Addison looks up at me, smiling softly. “Yeah, I’m kind of missing his marriage proposals. I mean a girl gets used to those after the eighth or ninth time, you know?” We both laugh. “But he’ll be back to NA in no time, annoying the crap out of me again.”

Our laughter fades away and is replaced with an awkward silence, the atmosphere around us thickening. I take her face in my hands, focusing solely on her pretty hazel eyes.

“I’m sorry for showing a different side of me tonight, but that isn’t me. I guess I just saw red. And you were right—I had no right to behave like that, not since I made it very clear from the beginning that we would be nothing more than friends. But recently something has shifted between us, and this thing we have . . . it’s overwhelming and I don’t know how to deal with it. I know we said that the moment things get too deep, we end this thing between us but I don’t think that I can do that. Not now. You’ve become a part of me that I don’t think is ever going to go away. I don’t know what this means, or what this means for us, but I know I can’t lose you. I need you.”

She gulps heavily and seeing the way her eyes fill with vulnerable tears, I know she feels the same way as me. I press my lips against hers, trying to pour every emotion I have ever felt since the moment I stepped into her office in rehab all those months ago into this one kiss. We both pull away breathless, and the heart stopping smile she gives, leaves me spellbound. She caresses my stomach with her thumb, the sensation causing the hair at the back of my neck to stand up.

“I don’t think I can let go either,” Addison says, barely above a whisper as if she’s too scared to say the words out loud. I brush away the stray wet hair that is stuck to her forehead.

“I can’t promise you anything. I can’t promise that I’ll ever be able to hand over my heart to you, I can’t promise that I’ll ever be able to give you that part of me. But know this—you mean more to me than I can ever put into words. I’m still a broken mess, and it still hurts whenever I think about Ava and her betrayal, but I’m beginning to heal in a way I never thought possible. I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time and you’re the reason for that. You’re the reason I can smile again.”

I purposely pin her against the wall with both arms at either side of her head, my eyes boring into hers. “You’re my drug, Addison. Not a hard drug that buries you until all you can see is darkness, but a healing drug that helps you rise from the ashes and bask in the light. You’re my reason for living.”

Her eyes look stunned, and I think it’s the first time I’ve left her speechless. After a moment, she awakens from her stupor, a smile curving at the edge of her mouth. “You’ve sure changed from the Sebastian who would barely say three words to me at our first session. In fact, you literally said three words to me the day of our first session. And what were they again?”