Look After Me (32 page)

“Okay?” I ask hesitantly.

“Why did you get a truck?”

I sigh with a gentle laugh.

“I mean you don’t use it to its full capacity and it’s so damn clean that I can’t imagine you’ve stored a single tool back here, ever.”

“What do you mean not using it to its full capacity? We had sex here not even twenty minutes ago. I’m pretty sure that’s using it to its full capacity.”

She playfully slaps my arm. “I wasn’t talking about sex.”

“Honestly?” I begin seriously. “I’ve always wanted a truck. I was obsessed with them when I was little. My dad used to take me to the Monster Truck rallies whenever they came to Miami, and I had every single hot wheels truck you could think of—”

“You used to live in Miami?” she interrupts, surprised.

“Yes. I grew up in Miami. It wasn’t until I joined the Army, and I was stationed at Fort Bragg, that my dad and sister decided to follow me to North Carolina.”

Turning to me, she squints with confusion before she says, “Hold on. How did you get from North Carolina to Seattle?”

I chuckle lightly. “I was stationed to Fort Lewis about six years ago. Anyway, can I finish with my story?” I say with a huge smile on my face, causing her to laugh.

“Sorry, continue.”

“My walls were covered with truck posters. I even had Monster Truck bedding and Monster Truck pajamas with matching underpants. Obviously, I’ve upgraded in the underpants department,” I chuckle, “but I’ve always wanted one of my own. Once I got my license, my dad bought me this beat up Ford pick-up truck and we spent months fixing it up. Then when my mom died, I somehow ended up wrapping it around a tree, the beginning of my reckless year with drugs. About four years ago, I was granted permission to live off the base and decided I wanted to splurge on something nice, so I purchased this baby. And I have to say, it’s been good to me.”

Darkness clouds over me as I feel a sinking pit in my stomach. Ava is assaulting my mind again. I bought the truck back when we were together, when we were still in the honeymoon stage of our relationship. My heart cracks at the very thought, and it gnaws at every living cell in my body.

“That’s because you’ve probably only driven it five times in the past four years.” I hear Addison laugh, but my mind is a million miles away. She shifts to look at me, her eyes softening with concern. “Ava?” she asks and I marvel at her ability to read me so well.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. She was with me when I bought the truck, so it kind of just brought back memories, you know?”

“I do and you have nothing to be sorry about. I get it.” After a moment, she shifts and crawls to the middle of the bed. “Come and lie down with me,” she says as she lies back, looking up at the sky, with the blanket wrapped tightly around her. I smile, then slide in beside her, taking hold of the blanket, and huddling it under my chin.

“Okay, so what now?”

“We watch the clouds.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s relaxing. God, where is your childish adventure? Cloud spotting is awesome.”

“I’d much prefer to star gaze.”

“Good luck finding stars during the day, soldier boy.”

I smile as I concentrate on the floating gray clouds above, and sure enough, I begin to feel the relaxing effects almost immediately. That and the feel of Addison’s hand encased in mine takes the edge off the burning pressure that violently crushes my heart whenever I think about Ava.

“If you were granted one wish, what would you wish for?” I continue gazing at the clouds as I take in her words, thinking of the one thing I would want most in this world. “And it has to be for you, nobody else. You can be as selfish as you want.”

The first thing that comes to mind is wishing for Ava, but I quickly push that thought away because wishing for what I can’t have will trudge up pain that will only hurt me in the long run. “To be a child again,” I say after a full minute of silence. “When I was a child, I didn’t have a worry in the world. I didn’t have an ounce of responsibility. I lived life in my naïve little bubble and it was perfect. My world didn’t include drugs, hatred, or broken hearts. It was a world where the only thing I had to worry about was doing my chores. Life was simple. Life was carefree. I’d like to feel that again. For one moment, I want to feel the freedom that being a kid brings and forget about the bullshit. I want to be enthralled with the simplicity of coloring and watching back-to-back cartoons until my eyes turn square—or at least that’s what my mom used to say.” I smile at the memory. “I’d love to be able to forget about the bad in my life and lose myself within my own innocence. And to be able to eat Nutella with my fingers and cloud spot in the middle of November.”

Addison turns to me and laughs. “I like that. Especially the Nutella and cloud spotting bit.”

Smiling, I ask, “What about you? What would your one wish be?”

“To be a billionaire.”

“Seriously?”

“No,” she laughs. “Well, I wouldn’t exactly say no to a billion dollar hand out but if I were granted one wish, I would see all of the great fallen musicians in concert. Elvis Presley, Michael Jackson, John Lennon, Otis Redding, Kurt Cobain, Bob Marley, Jeff Buckley, and Whitney Houston. And instead of taking a date, I would take my brother and spend the entire time rocking out with him. It would be incredible. Just to be within his presence would be a dream come true. Even for a little while.”

I squeeze her hand underneath the blanket. “Do you think you could invite me and my mom too?”

Addison rolls to her side and looks at me with an affectionate smile, tightening her hand within mine. “Absolutely. I’d love to meet your mom. It’d be the best night of our lives.”

For a single moment, it feels like I’ve suddenly been transported to an alternative universe. A universe where my mom and Addison’s brother are still alive. A universe where life is perfect. A universe with no pain. But reality quickly comes weighing back down on me and I’m left with a strange sense of nostalgia when I realize the alternative universe is a life that simply cannot be possible. However, instead of letting that thought get me down, I smile at Addison. “If only wishes could come true.”

“The world would be a completely different place.”

After a few moments of tracing every single fragment of Addison’s flawless face, I press a gentle kiss against her lips before pulling away. “Thank you.”

“What for?”

“For being you. You always seem to know when I need a time out from everything. And even though I’m lying here, freezing my balls off, cloud spotting in the middle of goddamn November, I’m happy. It’s the polar opposite of how I was feeling six months ago. I owe you everything.”

She shakes her head. “You don’t owe me anything, Sebastian. We’re friends, it’s what friends do.”

I hate how she just shrugs it off like it isn’t a big deal. We’re more than just friends, and she knows that. “No, friends buy you a beer when you’re down in the dumps. You saved my life. You were there when I needed someone the most. You’re like my guardian fricking angel. Just without the angelic touch because you, Addison, are a devil between the sheets.”

She rolls onto her back, shrieking with laughter. I roll on top of her, smiling when she snorts. “You’re cute when you snort.”

Her laughter falters when she feels something hard pressed between her legs. “That seriously didn’t turn you on, did it?”

“Everything about you turns me on.”

“Everything?”

“
Everything.
I’ll show you if you don’t believe me.”

“Please, be my guest.”

Not long after our second outdoor escapade, the skies turn an angry shade of gray and begin pelting us with rain. We rush into the truck, but within a matter of seconds, we’re soaked. We’re now on our way back to the cabin with the heat on full blast, hoping it will be enough to dry us off until we get back.

I briefly glance at Addison and smile when I notice she’s sleeping soundly with the blanket wrapped snuggly around her body. I suppose two heavy sessions of sex will do that to you. I focus my attention back on the road and, for the first time in my entire life, I drive without a single thought suffocating my mind. I allow the tranquil peace to evade my inner body and it feels nice. I welcome the calm with open arms. I’m probably just delirious from all of the amazing sex, but there’s no denying that sleeping beauty beside me is the reason for my blissful state. I’m so blissful that the realization hasn’t sent me panicking, like most things do. Addison brings out emotions in me that I’d never thought I’d get to feel again, emotions I didn’t think I’d ever want to feel again.
Good emotions.
I’m not sure how long this happy spell will last, but I’m going to embrace it as long as possible and pretend that my life is good, at least for a little while.

Two hours later, I’m driving through the acres of forest, towards the cabin, when Addison suddenly lurches from her sleep, clutching her stomach.

“Stop the truck!”

I press my foot on the brake immediately, and watch in alarm as she barely has time to unclasp her seat belt and open the door before she’s hurling on the ground. The sound of her retching turns my stomach and I suddenly feel a little weird. I go to shift forward to console her when I’m halted to the spot as a sharp pain spears through my gut, causing me to groan out in pain. I clutch hold of my stomach as it begins to regurgitate and in lightning speed, I jump out of the truck and place my hands on the hood and empty my entire guts out. Once I’m a hundred percent confident my stomach has fully emptied, I weakly climb back into the truck, resting my head back against the headrest, closing my eyes for a second.

“Sebastian, are you all right?”

I turn to Addison, who looks as white as a ghost. Perhaps even whiter if that’s possible. “Yeah, are you?”

“Yeah, I think the worst of it is over.”

“Do you think it was the sub from earlier?”

“Oh God,” she groans at my mention of the sub, her hand slamming over her mouth.

Well, that answers my question.

Luckily the passenger door is still open and she manages to turn her head just in time before she gets violently sick again.

After a moment, she flops back into the seat with tears rolling down her face, wrapping the blanket against her shivering body. She lets out a trembling breath, wiping at her mouth. “Yeah, I think it was. I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?” I brush away the wetness that lingers along her cheeks.

“I was the one who bought that . . .” She gags, then belches a little. “Sandwich.”

“You didn’t know the sandwich was riddled with contaminated bacteria.”

Her face twists and for a moment I think she’s going to hurl again but she manages to keep it down. “I need to go and lie down.”

I nod through my lethargic haze. I put the truck into drive and continue our two-minute journey back to the cabin. I barely roll to a stop when Addison rushes out of the truck and runs inside the cabin, with her hand over her mouth. I drag my aching body inside, where Danya meets me at the door, looking at me with concern.

“You don’t look too good either, sweetheart. Are you okay?”

I go to answer when a strong smell of home cooked soup immediately assaults my senses, causing my stomach to twist and contract. Feeling the bile begin to rise, I flee from the living room, upstairs to my bedroom. I throw the door open to the en-suite and drop to my knees, purging every single content of my stomach into the toilet bowl.

After spending God knows how long hovering over the toilet bowl, I somehow manage to make it to bed and fall into a restful sleep. I’m unsure how long I sleep for, but I wake to Addison sliding under the sheets. I weakly smile through my tiresome eyes. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

“How you feeling?” I ask with a croaky throat.

“Drained but heaps better.”

I turn onto my back, with my arms resting above my head, a small chuckle leaving my lips. “Well, this certainly wasn’t the plan for this weekend, that’s for sure.”

“You’re telling me. Again, I’m sorry but I brought you some ice chips to make up for it. It’s easier than trying to stomach water.” She hands me a glass filled with ice chips and I take the glass from her hand and plop a piece of ice in my mouth, my body appreciating the refreshing coolness the moment it meets my tongue.

“I never realized how much I appreciated water until now,” I say once the ice has completely melted. I take another one and put it in my mouth.

She gives a weak laugh as she adjusts her position so the sheets are tucked under her chin. “Yeah. And food becomes the devil.”

“It’s definitely something of the evil spectrum. I’m kind of hating food at the minute,” I agree, the very idea of food turning my stomach.

“So, how do you feel about spending the rest of the evening in bed watching a movie? I don’t think I can move again. Every muscle in my body aches.”

“That sounds perfect right about now.”

Once I’ve picked out a comedy for us to watch, I change into a pair of comfy sweatpants, and a sweatshirt and climb back into bed. The whole process takes a good twenty minutes because my body seems to be going in slow motion—or at least that’s what it feels like. Thankfully, it’s a movie we’ve already watched, since we keep nodding off, exhausted from our earlier vomiting. We both seem to wake the moment the credits come on the screen.