Love Comes Home (11 page)

He walked down the stairs and was halfway to his truck before she managed to react. How dare he be magnanimous and wish her well. She'd find peace all right. God would see to that.
As long as you aren't in my life, Josh Taylor, I'll be just fine.

As she watched him drive his truck away, she prayed she wasn't deluding herself. She
would
be fine without Josh Taylor. She had to be.

 

The next morning as she watched the moving van being loaded with the items she'd chosen to keep, stark reality hit. With Mom G.'s passing, she mattered to no one. Rachel was truly on her own.

Who would claim any of her possessions as mementos of her life when she was gone? Sadly, no one.
No one who would care. No one would mourn her passing. A desolate and vacant hole formed in her heart, making her acutely aware of how alone in life she really was.

After the van disappeared down the driveway, she entered the house to stare at the piles of stuff that would be donated to Goodwill.

So many things accumulated over a lifetime and yet, what value did possessions really have? Mom G. would be in heaven now; her reward for living a life expressing Jesus' love would be a beautiful crown with many jewels upon her head. One of those jewels would be for Rachel, for taking in and loving an unwanted child.

What treasure was she laying for herself up in heaven? Saving the lives of people she didn't know and didn't love? There was merit in her work. But where was the love?

The stillness of the house, the tomblike quiet, made Rachel edgy. Even the exercises that normally calmed her mind and body did little to offer rest for her harried thoughts. She missed Griff, missed his generous affection and easy laughter.

She could admit that easily enough, though thoughts of Griff always led back to Josh. To the miniscule area that harbored feelings that weren't wanted. To his stubborn refusal to give an inch toward accepting her need to be a doctor.

She resigned herself to knowing he would never comprehend what her career meant to her. And she accepted that Josh wasn't to be a part of her life.

 

The next day, after the Goodwill truck had left and Mom G.'s house was empty, Rachel returned to her
hotel. Restless, and needing to get out of the quiet hotel room, she donned the running shoes she'd packed and set out.

She worked up a sweat running on the country roads that wound around the town of Sonora. Her lungs filled with the smog-free air and her senses took in the scenic tranquillity of the verdant trees, foliage and quaint homes along the way.

She ran for hours, occasionally slowing to a walk to sip from the water bottle attached to her fanny pack, before resuming her heart-pounding pace, trying to outrun the memory of Josh's goodbye.

Late in the afternoon, with muscles quivering, Rachel's pace became a brisk stroll as she talked with God, asking for wisdom and guidance.
Josh, doesn't want me and I can't walk away from the work I'm doing. Lord, I don't understand. What is it You want from me?

Her heart beat wildly though the adrenaline from her run had long dissipated. She felt as if she stood on the brink of understanding and one little nudge…

She raised her gaze heavenward hoping for enlightenment and noticed that in the distance a discernible gray trail of smoke wound its way toward the sky. She frowned. Fire season had started early this year.

The beep of a horn drew her attention. Rod's Buick pulled to the side of the street. He gestured to her.

“Hi.” The pleasure of seeing a friendly face gladdened her heart.

“Griff's in trouble,” Rod stated tersely.

Apprehension uncoiled in her veins. “What's wrong?”

“He got separated from his Boy Scout troop. They
went hiking up at the lake and I'm worried.” Rod pointed toward the front window.

She lifted her gaze toward the rising smoke over the mountain ridge. Her heart pounded in her ears. “He's out there?”

Rod nodded. “Will you come?”

Without answering she opened the door and climbed in.
Dear Lord, put Your angels around Griff and keep him safe.

As the car sped away, Rachel tried not to think what would happen to Josh if he lost Griff, too.

 

Josh stared at the map hanging on the wall of the ranger's station conference room. Several red thumb-tacks stuck out, indicating the locations of his crews. They'd been working furiously to contain the sudden heat fire that engulfed the woods around Cherry Lake.

He hated to think of the damage being done. The acres of trees and wildlife being destroyed. Beyond the destruction of the forest, he knew the fire might cause human fatality. The beauty of the lake attracted day hikers and backpackers alike. The search and rescue teams had been deployed.

These situations were never good when people could be trapped. Families out for the day, overnight hikers, scout troops—thank goodness Griff's troop went to Pine Mountain Lake today—and teens. Teens like he and Rachel had been, seeking privacy for hot kisses and carving names into trees. Hopefully the fire wouldn't destroy their tree. He grimaced at the use of the pronoun. There was no “their” anymore.

Back when life had seemed full of possibilities, they'd found a plateau overlooking the lake where a
lone oak tree stood. Their spot, their tree. He'd carved their initials into the trunk.

The memory was bittersweet. He shook his head. He had no business letting thoughts of Rachel crowd his mind. They'd said their goodbyes. He doubted they'd see or hear from her again.

Explaining to his son why he wouldn't be seeing her again had been one of the hardest things Josh had ever done. Confessing to his boy that he'd basically forbid Rachel to have any more contact with Griff had put a wedge between father and son.

Josh could have blamed Rachel, could have told his son that she didn't keep her promises, but he couldn't. Not only was that untrue, but for reasons he refused to examine, he'd preferred his son be angry with him rather than with Rachel.

Griff would get over his anger and they'd repair their relationship. Someday he hoped Griff would understand why not having Rachel in their lives was for the best. Someday Josh would tell his son to be careful when he fell in love. He didn't want Griff to make the same mistake of finding someone who would only commit to one thing—her career.

Rachel had called him chauvinistic. Was it chauvinistic to want to be loved passionately? To want to know that the woman he loved wouldn't up and leave one day? He just wanted a wife whose love he would be sure of. He would never be sure of Rachel's feelings because her devotion to medicine was all consuming. And even understanding her belief that she was doing God's will didn't make letting her go any easier. It made him admire her for her faith and obedience, and made him aware of his unworthiness to receive anything from God.

A commotion in the outer office brought his mind back to the problem at hand. Abruptly he turned from the wall and headed out of the conference room into the large lobby of the log-cabin-style ranger's station. He stopped short.

Amid the chaos of people doing their jobs stood Rachel, wearing nylon jogging shorts and a tank top, talking quickly and gesturing wildly to Joe Leads, Timber Manager.

“What are you doing here, Rachel?”

At the sound of his voice her attention snapped to him. Her big blue eyes looked panicked.

Warily Josh moved toward her as she rushed to him. What would make her seek him out? Dread knotted his muscles. What would make her lose her control?

S
he grabbed his arm, her grasp fierce and biting. “Josh, you have to come quick.”

Josh frowned. Concern overrode the shock of seeing her again. He fought it back. “Rachel, we're in the middle of fighting a fire—”

“Griff's out there,” she gasped.

Fear, stark and choking, seized Josh's heart, but he tried to rationalize it away. “They're miles from the fire. His troop went to Pine Mountain Lake.”

“No. Rod said there'd been a last-minute change in plans and he dropped Griff off at Cherry Lake this morning.” Cool, collected Rachel sounded scared. “The troop leader called and said Griff and another boy got separated from the group. Your dad went in after them.”

For a dizzying moment Josh fought the panic threatening to cut off his air supply. The world narrowed down to one terrorizing thought:
I can't lose Griff, too.

He recovered his equilibrium and forced his mind
to concentrate on what needed to be done. In long strides he crossed the room, grabbed his keys and coat. “Connie, call George. Tell him what's happening. Tell him I'm going in to find my son and that my dad's on his way in.

“Joe, you take over here and call the sheriff's department with this update. See if they've already located Griff. Call me on my cell.” He shouted the commands as he grabbed two walkie-talkies from a cabinet. His heart pounded in his ears, but he kept moving, kept focused on the details.

“You, Chris—” he pointed to a startled young ranger “—you're going in with me.”

“But he hasn't—” Joe began.

Josh cut him off with a glare. “I need you here.” He stated the obvious. Joe nodded sharply, acknowledging one of the prime rules: Go in with a buddy.

Josh hurried toward the door with Chris right on his heels. He didn't even stop when he heard Rachel's cry of “What about me?”

“Go home,” he growled over his shoulder, and then he was out the door.

Rachel stared at the door as it slammed shut behind Josh's retreating back.
Go home.
Like she could go home now. Not with Griff missing and a fire blazing. Her feet were moving before she'd even thought about commanding them to. She rushed out the door and watched Josh's truck speeding away.

She ignored the bite of rejection at Josh's harsh command and ran for Rod's Buick.
He's going to need you, Rachel. Whatever happens today, Josh is going to need you.
Rod's words echoed inside her head as she drove after Josh.

Yeah, well, tell
him
that, why don't you?
she
thought sourly. She pressed harder on the gas pedal. The Buick shook with the speed, but she didn't let up as she turned off Highway 120 and headed up the gravel road that would lead her to the lake.

Josh's truck had long since disappeared ahead of her. But she knew where he'd start. Not at the usual visitors' trailhead. No, he'd take the fire road until it ended miles up the trail. She didn't question her certainty, she just knew. She almost missed the turn for the fire road but the faint cloud of dust clinging to the air pointed the way.

Josh and Chris were already out of sight by the time she parked the Buick behind Josh's truck. A fallen log blocked the way. They'd have to hike up the fire road to where it converged with the main trail. She ran to catch up to them, grimacing at the awful smell of smoke. Her approaching footsteps gave away her arrival before she had thought of what to say.

Josh's head whipped around, his eyes widened for a fraction of a second before narrowing to burning slits. “Go back, Rachel. I don't want you here. You'll just get in the way.”

Her heart tore at the pain visible beneath his obvious irritation. “You might need me. I'm a doctor, remember.”

His feet still moved at a rapid pace—she had to take three steps to his one—but his eyes remained on her for a long moment. His lip curled into a nasty sneer. “A city doctor.”

“A doctor just the same,” she retorted between gulps of air, the smoke burning her lungs. “I'm coming with you. Get over it.”

“Rachel, you're a civilian. I—”

“Which means you can't order me around,” she interrupted tersely.

He snorted at her over his shoulder, his pace never slowing. “If you think you can handle it.”

She noticed Chris kept glancing at her but she didn't feel inclined to appease his curiosity.

Being behind the two men, Rachel got a good dose of dust kicked up into her face. She tried to stifle her coughs because every time she coughed loud enough for Josh to hear, he'd turn and glare at her. She could feel his animosity toward her, claiming he found her presence a nuisance. But Griff was the one out there, maybe hurt, needing help. And if she could help, then angering Josh was a small price to pay.

When the fire road met with the main trail, Josh stopped abruptly. Chris smoothly sidestepped him, but Rachel had her head down and didn't realize he'd stopped until she ran smack into his broad back, knocking her off her feet.

She glared up him. He stared back dispassionately.

“You could help me up,” she groused, her bottom aching from the impact with the ground.

For a tense moment Rachel thought he wouldn't help her. Finally he stuck out a hand and swiftly pulled her to her feet. He dropped her hand quickly and turned to Chris. “Take the trail down to the visitors' center. You should meet my father. When you do, contact me.” He turned a knob on one of the walkie-talkies before handing it over to the bemused youth.

“I thought we were to stay together?” Chris questioned, his young face creasing with anxiety.

Josh flipped the knobs on his own walkie-talkie. “Take her with you.”

“No,” Rachel said immediately. If Griff or the other boy were hurt… She didn't even want to think about that. They had to find the two boys before it got dark.

“It's safer if you go with Chris,” he replied without looking at her.

Anger that he'd dismiss her so readily gave her words a cutting edge. “Safer for whom?”

He glanced at her sharply. Then gave a wry twist of his lips. “For both of us.” With that left between them, he turned and headed up the trail.

Rachel stared after him for a moment, wondering what he meant by that remark. Then she turned to the kid beside her. “You go on, Chris. I'll stay with Josh.”

At the young man's hesitancy, she nodded. “It's okay. Go find Rod.”

Chris shrugged and headed in the opposite direction. Rachel trudged after Josh. She wasn't sure if he knew that she followed several feet behind him, until his voice came at her tight and clipped. “You could easily make it back to the car before dark.”

“I'm coming with you,” she declared through ragged breaths.

“Suit yourself,” he grumbled.

A dull ache throbbed in her side. She ignored her fatigued body's protest against the extra exercise.

The trail narrowed. Tree branches brushed across her legs, biting into her skin. Wryly she glanced down at her slick running shoes, made for smooth paved track, not rugged dirt trails. Her gaze lifted to Josh. His uniform and work boots were much better suited for the trek.

They hiked to the clanking rhythm of Josh's fire ax
hanging from his gear belt. The smoke grew thicker by the minute. In the distance she could hear the crackling and hissing of trees burning. Somewhere out there men were fighting the fire. Somewhere out there was Griff.

Josh stopped in his tracks. Rachel ran headfirst into his back again. He put out a steadying hand. “Pay attention,” he snapped.

He called for Griff, his voice loud and booming through the trees. They waited, but only the sounds of the flaming forest answered.

He started forward again. Rachel followed, aware of the fear in Josh's eyes, aware of the panic building within her chest. She'd been panicked when she'd arrived at the station, but once she'd seen Josh, the panic had given way to an assurance that he would make things right. He'd find his son and the world would go on. It shook her to the core to see Josh so scared.

The third time Josh stopped abruptly, Rachel managed not to ram into him. Her tennis shoes skidded on the loose dirt, raising a murky cloud of dust.

Their fruitless cries for Griff echoed back at them through the tree. Josh's gaze traveled over her with concern. “You're not dressed for this.”

“I didn't plan on going for a hike in the wilderness today.” She tried for some levity, but failed.

He rubbed a hand over his face. “I should have grabbed some gear out of the truck for you. I wasn't thinking.”

She caught his hand in hers. “You were worried about Griff. Besides, you didn't know I'd follow you.”

Josh's gaze moved away from her and to the
wooded trail. “He should have been headed back down by now. He knows how to pace himself, how to gauge his time and distance so that at any given point he could turn back and know exactly how much time the return would take.” He held her hand tightly. “What am I going to do if anything happens to my son?” His voice was ragged and his face in the dusky light showed the signs of the terrible thoughts running through his head.

“Josh, don't. You can't assume anything. We'll find him. We have to trust that God will protect him.”

“I know. I know. But the fire…”

“Remember what you asked me in the hospital? You asked if I trusted God. Now, I'm asking you, Josh. Do you trust Him? Is your faith strong enough?”

She held her breath. The last time she'd asked he'd seemed to struggle for his answer. On some level, she knew he was at a turning point in his relationship with God. Choosing to trust when things were going your way was easy, but trusting in the midst of a crisis, when only the Almighty was in control, took a step in faith.

“‘Faith's being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see,'” she quoted softly.

He closed his eyes. Rachel could only guess he was searching his own heart for the answer, desperately trying not to let his fear overwhelm him. He breathed out and his eyes opened.

They were clearer, less panicked, more focused. “I do trust Him.”

He held out his other hand. Rachel slipped her free hand into his. She garnered comfort from his touch.
He bowed his head and prayed aloud, a simple, heartfelt plea for God's protection and direction.

When he'd finished, he slipped out of his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders. “Thank you, Rachel.”

She looked up at him in surprise. “I should be the one thanking you for the coat.”

In the fading light she saw a soft smile curve his lips. “Thank you for reminding me where my strength lies.”

His smile made her heart quicken. His eyes, hot with intensity, locked with hers. She swallowed.

A static beep drew their attention, breaking the momentary spell.

“Son, come in.” Rod's voice came from the little box that Josh had secured to his belt.

He grabbed the instrument. “Copy, Dad.”

“Have you found them?”

“Negative, Dad. We're almost to the summit and we'll head down to the shoreline.”

“We'll head toward you then.” Rod's voice sounded strained.

Josh frowned. “Copy, Dad. Be careful.”

“You too, son. Take care of Rachel, too.”

“Copy that, Dad. Out.”

“Will your dad be okay?” Rachel asked, thinking about Rod's age and Josh's frown.

“Yes. He has years of experience and Chris with him. They'll be fine. How about you? How are you doing?”

Her feet hurt and her muscles were cramping, but adrenaline kept the pain from overwhelming her. “I'm fine. Let's keep moving.”

His expression said he didn't quite believe her, but
he gave a sharp nod and they continued on. Rachel noticed that Josh adjusted his stride so she didn't have to jog.

She knew what that little concession must cost him in anxiety. She could feel his restrained power as his long legs ate up the ground beside her. Soon they reached the top of the small summit where the trail began to head down toward the lake.

The sight stole her breath. On the far side of the lake the fire burned hot and bright. Tall trees glowing like eerie specters rising from the ground sent a shiver sliding over her arms. Standing at the top like this, the smoke was thick and burning to her lungs.

Below them the water reflected the red glow of the flames, making the blaze overwhelming. Where could Griff be? Surely at this frightening sight he'd have headed back, unless he were hurt. Her throat constricted at the thought.

Josh yelled for Griff and she added her own cries to his. Their voices echoed across the water. Below, nothing moved; there wasn't any sign of life.

“Where could they be?” she wondered aloud, her eyes scanning the darkness.

“I don't know. Unless—” He broke off. His gaze traveling from the lake to the left, down an incline to the plateau where the top of an oak tree jutted out above the other trees.

She followed his gaze. “The tree?”

“Maybe.” He looked thoughtful. “Worth a chance.”

The implication that he'd told Griff about their tree left her reeling. The memories of that last visit to the old oak were etched firmly in her heart. It was the
day she'd told Josh goodbye. Leaving him had been the hardest thing she'd ever done.

They left the trail and started down the hill. Rocks slid beneath Rachel's feet. Josh grabbed her arm and steadied her. As they neared the bottom, Josh yelled for Griff again.

A faint noise from below them paused Rachel's heart. Josh halted and called again. An answering cry filled the air. Spurred on by the tiny voice, she scrambled behind Josh. As they came out of the brush and into the clearing, a small boy came running forward. “Mr. Taylor.”

Josh ran to the dark-haired boy and gathered him in his arms. “Ben, are you okay? Where's Griff?”