Love Comes Home (6 page)

Josh nudged her with his elbow and the look he gave her was a clear signal that she was blowing it and about to hurt Jennifer's feelings. “I suppose I can take care of everything tomorrow. Dinner would be great. Thank you.”

The sparkle returned to Jennifer's eyes. “I'll see you all about five.”

“Can we go now?” Griff asked, and gave Rachel's hand another tug.

Swallowing back the trepidation that she was getting in too deep, Rachel nodded and allowed Griff to pull her along.

 

The local ice-cream parlor was packed. The old-fashioned decor with its mahogany tables and soda fountain counter always gave Josh the impression of stepping back in time. He waved at several people and endured the assessing glances as he herded Griff and Rachel toward the back where he spotted a table being vacated by two teens. His gaze strayed over Rachel's long floral skirt, appreciating the curves and the way the hem flirted with her trim ankles.

“I want strawberry with caramel sauce on a waffle cone,” Griff said as soon as his bottom hit the chair.

Josh raised a brow, not sure overloading his son on sugar was such a good idea.

“Awww.” A fleeting expression of disappointment crossed Griff's face. “Okay, no sauce.”

“What? No sauce? Outrageous.” Rachel's light laughter captured Josh's gaze. She blinked up at him, her blue eyes full of merriment. “We gotta have caramel sauce on strawberry waffle cones.”

“Yeah, that's right,” Griff chimed in eagerly.

She raised her dark winged brows, daring Josh to say no. He didn't want to spoil the air of fun surrounding them. “All right, caramel sauce it is.” So much for any semblance of nutrition.

Griff's exuberance exploded in a loud “Yeah!”

Rachel's pleased smile sent ripples of pleasure
down Josh's spine. Right now there wasn't anything remotely cold in her gaze. Her eyes were alive and warm, drawing him in, making him wish for the impossible, wish for a way to be enough for this woman. And wish the three of them could be a family. His stomach dropped. Abruptly he stood and headed to the counter. What was he doing having Rachel join them as if they
were
a family?

She's a friend, Josh admonished himself. Friends could have ice cream together. Friends could sit and have a decent conversation without their emotions being strung out to dry. Friends could laugh and enjoy each other's company without risking heartbreak.

His mouth twisted wryly. He was going to have to find a different category in which to place Rachel, because “friend” wasn't the correct one.

He paid and walked back to the table with three cones in hand.

At Rachel's appraising look he muttered, “It sounded good.”

She laughed again. Josh liked her laugh. He'd forgotten how lyrical the sound could be, how her laugh wrapped around his senses. When they were in high school, Rachel's laugh was what had gained his attention.

As they ate their cones, Josh saw a side of Rachel he'd thought long gone. Here was the girl he'd been so crazy about in high school but there was so much more to her now. She'd seen things, experienced things that had changed her, given her depths that hadn't been there before.

Yet she was capable of an easy wit and gentle nature that made the time fly by. And Griff hung on every story coming from her lovely lips. How could
his son help but fall for Rachel who at turns made Josh crazy with frustration and longing?

“Wow.” Rachel sighed. “That was delicious. I haven't had ice cream in ages.”

“Why not?” asked Griff.

“You know, I don't know.”

She looked genuinely puzzled. Like the thought of enjoying something as simple as ice cream was foreign to her. What was her life like in the big city of Chicago? Did she have many friends? What did she do for fun? Was there a man in her life?

That last thought stopped him cold. He had no business even caring, let alone being tempted to ask if she had someone waiting for her return. Even so, curiosity about every facet of Rachel's life hounded him, made him want to know why the woman she'd become drew him to her despite his resistance.

They left the parlor and stepped into the sunshine. The parking lot hummed with the rumble of cars on the highway as well as the many entering and leaving the parking lot. The newly developed strip mall with the drugstore, bookstore, several specialty stores and two restaurants buzzed with activity as people meandered about, busy shopping and such on Sunday afternoon.

At the curb, Rachel touched his arm. “Thank you. I really enjoyed this morning.”

He stared into those crystal-blue eyes and found he couldn't speak. The softness he saw spoke of caring and affection.

Her touch remained icy hot on his arm. An innocent touch that shouldn't cause such a riot inside.

He shouldn't let this get too personal, let the easy companionship of the morning cloud reality with
wanting more from her. Yet he couldn't stop himself from covering her hand with his.

He told himself she needed comfort whether she wanted to admit to the need or not. She'd lost Mrs. G. The least he could do was offer some solace. Her eyes widened, and he was gratified to see a bit of the same chaos he felt reflected in her gaze.

She slipped her hand away. He wasn't surprised.

“We'll take you back to the hotel.”

She drew herself up. The composed politeness he was beginning to detest settled over her lovely face and her petite form stiffened. Gone was the congenial woman of moments before. Now he was faced with the Rachel she'd become, the one he didn't understand or know how to deal with.

“That would be fine. I have things that need to be taken care of before we go to Jennifer's,” she said stiffly.

And he would be there to help her take care of things, because of his promise, not because he wanted to. At least that's what he tried to convince himself of as he headed them out of the parking lot and drove them to the hotel.

When they arrived at the gray motel lodge consisting of ten single units, Rachel slid from the truck.

“Can I stay with you?” asked Griff, his little face full of eager anticipation.

Josh swallowed past the lump in his throat. His son's eagerness to be with Rachel was touching.

Rachel smiled, her blue eyes twinkling. “You're going to get sick of me if we spend too much time together.”

“Naw, couldn't happen,” Griff scoffed.

Josh ruffled Griff's hair. “We'll be seeing Rachel
tonight, buddy.” He turned his attention to her. “I'll be back in a while to help you with things.”

Her brows drew together. “You don't need to.”

“But I will,” he insisted.

“Josh, I'm going to rest for a while. Please don't come back until it's time to leave for Jennifer's.”

The edge to her tone conveyed the subtle message:
You're not wanted.
Well, too bad. She was stuck with him for the duration of her stay because that's what Mrs. G. wanted.

And he always honored his promises.

He chose to ignore the little voice in his head that wondered why it seemed like so much more. He didn't want more. Rachel would be leaving soon and he'd be safe to remember that spending time with her was for now only. There could never be a forever for them.

R
achel was ready and fresh from a nap when the boys arrived to pick her up. She was thankful Josh had honored her wishes and not returned earlier. She'd needed the time to get herself refocused on her mission: See to Mom G.'s affairs and then head back to Chicago. She'd made an appointment with Mr. Finley to go over the terms of the will and sign the necessary papers.

The drive to Jennifer's went smoothly with Griff chattering away about an upcoming Boy Scout trip. The only trouble she had was keeping her pulse from racing every time she met Josh's gaze. He'd grown more handsome since morning. He wore dark denim jeans, a light blue chambray shirt with a white T-shirt peeking out at the V where the first three buttons were undone.

She forced herself to look straight ahead at the scenery going by as he drove, in an effort to keep herself from overheating. They turned onto a gravel
driveway where Josh pulled the truck to a stop beside a white minivan.

The large, yellow with white trim A-frame stood on the top of a rise on the north side of the county. The wraparound porch cluttered with a smattering of toys added charm to the house. The laughter of children reached her ears and she couldn't tell if the sound came from inside the house or from the back where she'd glimpsed a lawn with a wooden swing set. On the evening breeze the scent of barbecue drifted past.

Griff bounded up the porch stairs while she and Josh followed at a more sedate pace.

“This is lovely,” Rachel commented as they stopped in front of the large oak door. Sandwiched between Josh, his muscular body pressing into her as he reached to press the doorbell, and Griff, his small hand tucked tightly within her grip, she felt oddly out of place, yet not. It was a very strange feeling.

Heavy footfalls approached the door and it opened to reveal a man, average in height, with dark, short hair and a clean-shaven face. She kept her surprise in check. This man with his pressed khakis and white button-down shirt didn't match the type she'd always pictured with Jennifer. She'd figured Jennifer for the bohemian type of man willing to ramble around the world with his photojournalist wife.

The man smiled, his warm brown eyes crinkling at the corners. “Welcome. Hey, we're still on for bowling next Saturday?”

Josh flexed his fingers. “You bet. We'll whip up on Larry and Stan like last time.”

“That we will.” Paul ruffled Griff's hair. “Griff,
the kids are around somewhere. Why don't you go find them?”

Griff didn't needed to be asked twice. He disappeared from sight without a backward glance.

The man turned his attention to her. “You must be Rachel.”

“Yes. And you must be Paul.”

“I am indeed. Please, come in.”

He stepped aside, allowing Josh and Rachel to enter. The comfortable coziness of the house surrounded her with peace. Even the clutter of toys couldn't diminish the rustic beauty of Jennifer's home.

The dining area directly across from the entryway held a large oval table set for dinner, surrounded by high-backed chairs and a high chair. In the living room to her right, Rachel noted the furniture was an eclectic mix of old and new. A huge stone fireplace dominated one wall.

“Jen's changing the baby. She'll be out in a sec.”

“Great.”
Baby?
How many children did Jennifer have? Rachel tried to remember what Mom G. had said the last time she'd given her an update.

An enlarged photograph on the living room wall caught her attention. She moved to get a closer look. The peaceful serenity of the meadow scene struck a familiar chord. Bright yellow monkey flowers, indigenous in the Sierras, carpeted the sides of a meandering stream. The petals, which resembled the face of a grinning ape, were captured in vivid detail. Off in the distance mountains rose in majestic splendor meeting the sky in sharp lines.

“Jen took that.” Pride rang in Paul's tone.

“That's why it looked familiar. Jennifer and I spent many summer hours in that meadow.” She'd planned
her life as a doctor and Jennifer had dreamed of photographing the world.

What happened to Jennifer's dream?

The sound of running footsteps echoed through the quiet of the house as Griff and three children of various ages and genders came skidding to a halt in the archway of the living room.

“Kids.” Paul's deep voice brought the children to attention. “Meet Mom's friend Rachel. Introduce yourselves.”

The tallest boy, close to Griff's age, smiled, showing even white teeth. “Hi, I'm Will.”

Next to him a girl, younger and smaller, peered at her through a veil of blond hair. “I'm Krissy.”

The youngest of the three, another girl with short, light brown curly hair blinked up at Rachel. “I'm Linnea. I'm four.” She held up four fingers.

“Hello, Will, Krissy and Linnea. I'm pleased to meet you.”

The three stared at her silently, assessing her. She smiled reassuringly, hoping she met with their approval.

“You're pretty,” Linnea said, her little round face breaking into a grin.

Beside her Josh made a noise of agreement. When she met his gaze, his eyes were dancing with mirth.

Griff sidled up to her and took her hand.

“Okay, kids.” Paul clapped his hands. “Go wash up for dinner. We eat in five.”

The four kids turned and vanished down the hall just as Jennifer sailed in, carrying an infant on one hip.

“Hi. I'm so glad you could come.” Jennifer gave
Rachel an one-armed hug. And then she gave Josh one.

“Me, too.” She hoped her friend didn't hear her hesitancy. Though Rachel had worked with children often at the hospital, being in the midst of such a large brood was overwhelming. How did Jennifer juggle four kids?

“The barbecue's just about ready,” Paul said. “It shouldn't be more than a few minutes.”

“Need some help?” offered Josh.

“Yeah, come on back.” Paul and Josh disappeared behind a swinging door.

“He cooks?” Rachel quipped.

“One of the perks of our marriage.” Jennifer studied her with curious intensity. “Josh is a really good cook, too.”

Hoping to distract Jennifer from the subject of Josh, Rachel held a hand out to the baby in Jennifer's arms. The little angel wrapped a chubby hand around one finger and pulled it toward his mouth. “Who's this?”

“Oh, honey, I'm sure Rachel doesn't want to become a pacifier.” Jennifer extracted Rachel's finger from the child's grip. “This is Bobby. He's teething and everything goes in the mouth right now.”

“Hey, Bobby.” Rachel held out both hands. “May I?”

Surprise flickered in Jennifer's eyes. “Of course.”

She passed the baby over and Rachel took him, loving the slight weight in her arms, enjoying the fresh, powdery scent coming from the baby's soft, downy hair.

“You're a natural,” Jennifer declared.

Rachel laughed. “I'm a doctor. I get to do this occasionally.”

“Dinner's served,” Paul announced as he and Josh came through the swinging door carrying two large platters.

On cue the children raced down the hall and straight to their chairs. Griff took the empty seat next to Will. Rachel handed the baby back to Jennifer and then slowly moved to an empty chair. She sat with Jennifer on her right and Linnea on her left. Across from her sat Josh.

When Linnea's hand slipped into hers, Rachel blinked with surprise, but then she realized that Jennifer's hand was extended toward her. Around the table hands were held, forming a circle. Rachel took Jennifer's hand, completing the ring. As Paul said the blessing, Rachel felt a stab of longing for Josh. For the family with him that would never be. She forced herself not to open her eyes and look at him.

The meal progressed in a chaotic whirl. Rachel fielded questions about her life and in turn she asked about their lives. She found out Paul was a bank executive, Will liked basketball as did Griff, Krissy was passionate about horses and Linnea loved to have tea parties.

The children all had something to say, and the volume rose as they talked over each other. Jennifer fed the baby with intermittent comments and Paul listened attentively to each person while exchanging loving glances with his wife.

Rachel glanced at Josh occasionally and would catch him staring at her, heating her with the almost tender expression in his eyes. She smiled at him and felt like such a fake. She wasn't cut out for this kind of scene. Yet she couldn't deny the stirrings of need for such a life, for a family to call her own. She
watched Jennifer. Her friend's eyes lit with joy and her smile came readily. Did she regret not pursuing her dreams? Could Rachel ever hope to have what her friend had?

Even if she could, that kind of life would never include Josh. His life was here; hers was in Chicago. A ribbon of sadness wound its way through her. She accepted it because she had no choice. She had to keep focused on God's plan for her.

After the table was cleared, Paul hefted Bobby into his arms. “Why doesn't Griff stay the night?” he asked Josh. “We have extra toothbrushes and he can sleep in a pair of Will's pj's.”

“Can I, Dad? Can I?” Griff hopped in excitement.

“Sure, I suppose that would be okay since school's out now,” Josh replied, earning himself a big hug from Griff.

“I'll get these rugrats settled in,” Paul said as he ushered the kids down the hall.

Josh's gazed darted between the two women and then he called after Paul, “I'll help you.”

“Chicken,” Rachel teased.

He glanced over his shoulder. “I know to retreat when I'm outnumbered.” He winked and then disappeared.

“Coffee or tea?” Jennifer asked once they were alone.

“Herbal tea would be nice.”

Rachel followed Jennifer into the kitchen. The white-tile countertops, light oak cabinetry and blue-and-white gingham window coverings created an inviting and soothing atmosphere. Rachel dismally recalled her own kitchen with its harvest-gold counters, bare walls and dark cabinets.

She watched Jennifer go about the task of making tea, her movements fluid and natural.

“How are you really doing, Rachel?”

The intensity in Jennifer's voice grabbed Rachel's attention. Sliding onto a stool at the wide, white-tiled island in the center of the kitchen, she replied, “I'm hanging in there.”

Jennifer's clear eyes searched Rachel's face. “I'm worried about you.”

Rachel tilted her head, touched by her concern. “Why?”

Jennifer took the remaining stool. “Nothing specific. I just want you to be happy.”

Rachel put her hand on her friend's hand. “Are
you
happy?”

Jennifer's smile brightened the room. “Yes.”

“But you gave up your dream.”

Confusion dampened Jennifer's smile. “What dream was that?”

“Traveling the world, taking pictures.”

Jennifer laughed softly. “Dreams change.”

Rachel sat back with a frown. “But you were so set on photojournalism.”

Jennifer went to the stove. She was silent as she poured the tea. Carrying two mugs, she handed one to Rachel and then resumed her seat. “You know, I envied you so much when we were young. You always knew who you were and what you wanted out of life.”

Rachel wrapped a hand around her mug. “So did you.”

Jennifer shook her head. “I didn't have the conviction you did. It sounded good. Photojournalism.” She gave a wry laugh. “That would've been a lonely
life. I was afraid to tell you my real dream was to have a family.”

“Why?”

Jennifer shrugged. “Your dream was so lofty, so ambitious. I didn't want you to think less of me.”

Stung by that revelation, all Rachel could say was “Wow.”

Something deep inside Rachel shifted and an uncomfortable, wholly strange sensation filled her. For a pregnant, silent moment she stared at her friend, then comprehension dawned. She was envious. Envious of Jennifer's freedom to choose.

But Rachel had been given a choice once. Marry Josh or pursue medicine. She'd made the only choice she could.

A sharp pain banged behind Rachel's eyes. She pinched the bridge of her nose.

Her stirrings of longing for a family intensified, but along with that came the reality of what having a family for her would mean. The sacrifices and compromises that would need to be made. And the greatest sacrifice—the risk of loving and hurting.

Could she make those sacrifices, those compromises? And in doing so, would she be going against God's plan? How could she ever make that choice?

“Rachel, are you okay?”

“I'm getting a bad headache.” She could hear the strain in her voice, feel the weight of her future crushing her heart.

Jennifer touched her arm. “I'm sorry if I upset you.”

With practiced effort, Rachel forced the pain to recede. “It's not you, Jennifer. It's everything. Losing Mom G., seeing Josh…” The loneliness, the confu
sion. “Away from the hospital, I feel like I'm losing myself.”

“Or finding yourself.”

Jennifer's verbal arrow quivered in the center of the bull's-eye. “Maybe,” Rachel scoffed lightly, trying to ignore the well-aimed words.

“I watched Josh tonight. He cares for you.”

“Nothing could ever come of it. Josh and I both know that.”

“We both know what?” Josh asked as he and Paul entered the kitchen.

Heat flushed her cheeks. “Nothing.”

He arched a brow. “Looking pretty guilty for nothing.”

Rachel threw a panicked glance to Jennifer, looking for help.

Jennifer flipped her curls and smiled serenely. “Coffee or tea, gentlemen?”

Rachel was thankful the conversation turned to world news events. She relaxed as the light banter among the four of them stayed on subjects that didn't include her and Josh in the same sentence.