Love Comes Home (9 page)

A knot formed in her stomach. Could she be a good mom and still make a difference?

There were female doctors at the hospital who had families. They managed to be both. Though men dominated the upper management of the hospital, she would find one of her female peers and discover the secret to having a successful career and family. Finding a man to have a family with wouldn't be as easy. Especially not after seeing Josh, feeling his touch, his kiss—

Thankfully, the voice of the driver interrupted her thoughts.

“In the 1940s, the Parks and Recreation Department acquired the downtown district and restored it to its 1850-to-1870-era appearance. You'll find many of the shopkeepers dressed in nineteenth-century garb.”

The coach came to a rambling halt.

“We hope you enjoyed your ride,” the driver said. “Have a fun time in town.”

Rachel and Griff disembarked.

A flash of awareness whispered down her spine like a warm breeze. Puzzled by the strange sensation, she glanced around then asked, “Where to now?”

“Gold-panning.”

“Mind if I join you?”

Rachel started at the familiar voice and turned to find Josh leaning against a wooden railing that once had served as the hitching post for horses. Today he wore black shorts, showing off his strong muscular legs, and a red T-shirt emphasizing his broad chest. He looked virile and handsome, making her feel self-conscious in her khaki shorts and scoop-necked blue
T-shirt. She hadn't expected to see him and was shamefully pleased.

“Dad! 'Course we don't mind.” Griff rubbed his hands together. “This is going to be so fun.”

“I thought you were working today.” Why did she sound so breathless?

He pushed away from the railing and strode toward her. A grin flashed, revealing his white teeth. “I decided to play hookey.”

“What's hookey?” Griff asked.

Rachel met Josh's gaze and grinned, waiting to see how he'd explain that.

“Something we'll talk about when you're older.”

“Aw, Dad. You always say that.”

He gave her a pained look over Griff's head. She laughed, liking the shared moment.

“I thought we were gold-panning?” she said.

“Race you,” shouted Griff as he tore down the road toward the end of town.

Josh let out a breath. “Sometimes being a parent keeps me on my toes.”

“Blunder often, do you?” she teased.

“Only when I'm distracted by a pretty girl.” He waggled his blond brows at her.

A blush crept into her cheeks. “Bad habit to have.”

“Oh, I don't know.” He put his arm around her shoulders and propelled her forward. “This is one habit I probably could get used to.”

He was flirting with her and she liked it, even though it wasn't a good idea. He was still grieving and she lived thousands of miles away. She slanted him a glance and caught his gaze. The banked fire swirling in the depths of his eyes knocked the breath
from her lungs. The day seemed suddenly ten degrees warmer as she felt an answering spark within her.

“Come on, you guys!” Griff yelled from the miner's shack front porch.

She blinked. A slow smile tipped one corner of Josh's mouth. He leaned close. She swallowed. Was he going to kiss her, here in front of everyone?

“Race ya,” he whispered, and then started running.

“Hey,” she shouted with a laugh as she made her legs go. They reached Griff at the same time, laughing and breathing hard. “I haven't felt like this in years.”

Not since she'd left Josh behind.

His steady gaze bore into her in silent knowledge as if he'd heard her thought. She quickly glanced away, unwilling to confirm his suspicion.

Josh went inside and a few moments later returned with pans for each of them. They walked together to the small creek where the pleasant smell of pines mingled with the scent of wet earth.

For what seemed like hours they sifted through mud and dirt for any sparkling specks.

As they worked, Rachel enjoyed the natural way the three of them talked. She found out Griff dreamed to one day be a forest ranger like Josh and Rod. Griff's admiration for his father and grandfather was obvious.

Josh told stories about Rod and Mom. G. He spoke about his job and she could tell how much he liked the forestry service. She talked about being a doctor, but was careful to keep the focus light. She didn't want to ruin the easy camaraderie of the day with reminders of what her career meant to Josh.

At one point, she stopped to watch Josh help Griff with a big hard chunk of dirt. Their heads were bent
together, their hands chipping away at the dirt. Would Josh ever remarry? She felt a little stab of jealousy for the woman who would capture his heart. She only hoped, for Griff's sake, Josh chose wisely.

“Well,” Josh finally stood and stretched. “There's no getting rich quick for us.” He glanced up at her. “Rachel, you okay?”

“Yes.” She was determined to enjoy this time and not dwell on what couldn't be.

Griff stared at his empty pan with disappointment. “I thought for sure we would find some gold.”

“How about finding some lunch?” Rachel suggested.

The pan forgotten, Griff's eyes lit up. “That sounds good. I'm starved.”

“Me, too,” Josh stated, his eyes trained on her.

She tugged on her bottom lip with her teeth and repressed a shiver as a charged current passed between them.

Feeling a little dazed, she followed the Taylors to a little deli that had been added to the storefront shops since the last time that Rachel had visited Columbia. They grabbed sandwiches and old-fashioned cream sodas.

When finished with their meal, they walked along the plank sidewalk, ducking into first a jewelry shop where they examined different sizes and shapes of gold nuggets. They continued on through town, looking at the antiques in one store, the tourist items in another. Then even went into the old jailhouse and marveled at the open jail cell with its thick black bars and single cot.

“This is what we need at home,” Josh mused with
a teasing glint in his eyes. “A barred cell for when you misbehave.”

“Dad,” Griff squeaked.

A rhythmic pulse bounced off the stone walls. Josh pulled a tiny flip phone from his shorts pocket. After a brief conversation, he hung up. “I need to go to the station.”

To hide her disappointment that the day was coming to an end, Rachel placed a hand on Griff's shoulder. “We'll be okay. Rod will be here shortly to pick us up.”

“Right.” His gazed searched her face. “This was fun, Rachel. I'm glad we were able to spend this time together.”

“It
was
fun.” More fun than she could remember having in years.

Josh hugged Griff and then sauntered away. Rachel stared after him, memorizing the way he walked, the way he carried himself. She didn't know when she'd see him again. And she didn't want to analyze how that made her feel.

“I know what we need,” she said to Griff. “Candy.”

His eyes grew wide. “That's right. We need candy.”

The candy store was just as she remembered. Large glass cases filled to the brim with sweets. She recognized the sandy-blond-haired girl behind the counter as the younger sister of one of her old classmates. She surprised herself by asking, “Are you Kate?”

The girl cocked her head and squinted her brown eyes. “Do I know you?”

“I went to school with your brother Craig. My name's Rachel Maguire.”

Recognition dawned in her eyes. “Hi, I remember you. You used to date Josh Taylor. Everyone was surprised when he married Andrea Marsh instead.”

Rachel sucked in a breath. She placed her arm protectively around Griff's shoulders. “This is Josh and Andrea's son.”

Kate smiled apologetically. “Oh, sorry.”

Rachel wanted out of the store as quickly as possible. “We'd like some taffy, please.” She hoped Griff hadn't caught the meaning of the exchange. She felt a tug on her hand. “Hmmm?”

“Chocolate?” Griff whispered.

“Some chocolate, too, please.”

Taking their candy, they sat under a tree on a wooden bench. They sat in silence for a few minutes as they savored their stash. She realized with a start that she was content, relaxed. For the moment she felt comfortable in her own skin. The only thing missing was Josh.

“You were supposed to marry my dad?”

Rachel swallowed the suddenly sticky taffy. Tensing, she chose her words carefully. “At one time we thought we'd get married.”

“Why didn't you?”

She tried to explain. “Sometimes we make choices in our lives that take people in opposite directions. I had to make one of those choices.”

“Why?”

“Because ever since I was a very little girl I wanted to be a doctor, and the school I wanted to go to was far away. Your dad wanted to stay here.” Ra
chel hoped that answer appeased Griff's curiosity and he'd let the matter drop.

Silence stretched out between them. Griff turned solemn eyes upon her and Rachel braced herself.

“Would you marry my dad now and be my mom?”

R
achel's heart threatened to splinter into a million pieces. He didn't understand the impact or the impossibility of his question. “Honey, I don't need to be your mother to love you.”

“But being my mom would be better.”

But if she gave up on what she was doing, more children might lose their mothers. Rachel sighed. “Your dad and I aren't getting married.”

“How come?”

“We have very different lives. I live in Chicago where I'm a doctor and your dad has a very important job here. It just wouldn't work out.”

“You could be a doctor here,” he pointed out with a stubborn tilt of his chin. The gesture, so similar to his father's, caused a pang of tenderness to shoot through her.

Even if she could make the changes that needed to be made, while working from a smaller hospital, it wasn't possible for her at Sonora Community. Her mother had died there. She couldn't work there. Josh
would never accept the importance of her career and she couldn't give up what God wanted her to do.

In a gesture that was becoming less awkward, she put her arms around Griff's thin shoulders. “I'm flattered you want me to be your mom. That makes me very happy.”

He relaxed into her embrace for a moment before pulling away to stare up at her. His earnest expression was breaking her heart. “Do you love my dad?”

“I…” Rachel didn't have the words to explain her feelings for Josh.

She supposed she'd always love him with one tiny corner of her heart. The tiny corner that housed her girlish dreams. The tiny corner where there once was a wound so big she'd thought she'd never survive the pain. Today that part of her had seemed whole and complete. But that tiny corner didn't matter because in their situation, love wasn't enough. It never had been and nothing had changed.

Searching for words, she settled for a simple truth, even though she knew it was a cop-out. “God teaches us to love everyone.”

Griff nodded thoughtfully. “That's true, because God's love and He loved us so much He sent His only Son to die for us so that we can go to heaven to be with Him.”

Rachel smiled at Griff. “Did you learn that in Sunday School?”

“Yes and no. Dad taught me about God's love first, then I heard it in Sunday school.”

“Your dad's a smart man.” She was glad to see Josh had imparted to his son the wonder of God's love. She could still vividly remember the first time she'd heard the gospel message and the impact it had
had on her life once she really owned the promise in the words.

Mom G. had taken her to the Red Church right after she came to live in Sonora. The pastor had talked about Jesus and His death. She'd understood it, but hadn't really felt its connection to her.

Later, as she and Josh became close, he'd convinced her to join the youth group at church. There she began to comprehend the significance of God's mercy and grace and His redeeming love.

Glancing up from Griff, Rachel saw Rod walking toward them. “Here's your grandpa.”

They stood and hurried to meet him.

“Hi. Did you have a good time?” Rod hugged his grandson and smiled over his head at Rachel.

“We sure did. Dad came to help, except we didn't find any gold,” Griff told him.

If Rod was surprised that Josh had shown up, he didn't comment. Rachel suspected Rod had had a hand in Josh's appearance.

“Some days are like that. You'll find gold another time,” Rod stated. “Right now, we'd better scoot or Rachel will be late.”

Sitting inside Rod's car as it rambled away from Columbia, Rachel stared out the window. The smattering of huge white limestone boulders which miners, looking for gold, had once dredged out of the earth, stretched along the road between Sonora and the state park. Rachel knew that though the stones looked like a fun place to explore, the area was home to a large rattlesnake population. She'd found that out once the hard way.

Griff's continuous dialogue to Rod about their adventures drew Rachel's attention away from the coun
tryside. As she listened to Griff recount the day, a stitch of sadness crept over her. It was the only time in her life she'd been a part of a child's adventures.

Rod pulled up in front of the brick law office of Mr. Finley. “We'll wait for you.”

“You don't have to do that,” Rachel replied as she climbed from the car, but secretly hoped they would wait. She really didn't want to be alone.

“Now, what kind of gentleman would I be if I didn't wait?” Rod grinned.

Rachel laughed with relief. “I shouldn't be too long.” She hurried inside the old brick law firm.

For the sake of Griff and Rod, she blocked the swirling grief and sadness that hovered over her as she signed the necessary papers that established her as owner of Mom G.'s house and the papers that allowed the lawyer to act in her stead in the sale of the house.

She thanked Mr. Finley and quickly left. Sure enough, Rod and Griff were waiting. With a sense of homecoming that warmed and confused her, she climbed in the car and settled back against the seat. As Rod headed into the late afternoon downtown traffic, Rachel realized they were traveling in the opposite direction of her hotel. “Rod, where are we going?”

“I need to make a quick stop.”

Rachel glanced at him sharply and caught the twinkle in his eye. What mischief was he up to?

He turned the car off the main street and onto a dirt road. Over a slight rise, a two-story Victorian house came into view. A large lush lawn stretched around the towering gray-and-white-trimmed house, an oak tree with a homemade wooden swing dangled
from a low-hanging branch and cheery flowers grew in wooden flower beds along the porch. Everything looked well kept and cared for.

A black-and-white border collie came racing around the front of the old '65 Chevy pickup sitting off to the side of the driveway. Josh's house. The dog's welcoming barks and wagging tail told Rachel this was the family dog.

A flutter of nerves sent rippling waves across her skin.

“I just need to check something,” Rod explained as he cut the engine and left the car.

“Want to see my garden?” Without waiting for an answer, Griff jumped from the car. With the dog barking a welcome at his heels, he disappeared behind the house.

Left alone, Rachel slowly emerged from the confines of the suddenly suffocating car. Her gaze took in the obvious love that had gone into the upkeep of the house and yard.

In the back of her mind a voice taunted her.
This is the house he'd shared with Andrea. The kind of house you could have had.

Rachel pushed the thought away. She didn't regret the choice she'd made; she loved being a doctor. But a sudden desire for more crept in, making her wonder what their life would have been like had she chosen differently.

“Rachel!”

She followed the sound of Griff's call to the backyard, which proved to be as closely tended as the front. Griff waved from the middle of a large patch of freshly tilled earth and a few rows of green plants. She skirted around a built-in pool and across another
nicely mowed expanse of lawn to stand beside the raised garden bed. “Wow, Griff. This is great.” She breathed deeply of the sweet country air.

“This is my garden and I'm the farmer,” he said proudly.

“Looks wonderful, Farmer Griff. What have you planted?”

She listened patiently as he explained about the types of vegetables he'd planted. He seemed quite versed in the care and feeding of his plants. Was that Josh's doing or Rod's?

After a while, Rod appeared from around the house. “We better get you home. It's almost supper time.”

“Could Rachel have dinner with us?” Griff asked as he wiped his hands on his shorts, leaving stripes of smeared dirt.

“Sure she can. That's a great idea.” Rod turned his gaze on her. “You don't want to eat alone when you could dine with us handsome men, now, do you?”

She laughed, charmed. “Thank you, but…”

He looked at her intently. “You already have plans?”

“No. I don't want to intrude. I'm sure Josh wouldn't want to come home to find company for dinner.” The excuse sounded lame, especially after the day they'd shared, but she couldn't stay. She couldn't see Josh again. She wasn't ready for another ride on the emotional roller coaster that she rode every time he was near. “I really must leave.” She headed toward the car.

“But Dad won't mind.” Griff and Rod fell into
step with her. “He won't get home until late anyway.”

Rod gave an assessing look. “We can take you home right after we eat.”

“We can pick green beans from my garden. They taste so much better than the ones you get from the can,” Griff added, his expression so earnest that Rachel stopped walking.

She bit her bottom lip. She didn't relish being alone any more than she had to. A problem she'd never experienced in Chicago. But she wasn't in Chicago, where her fast-paced world kept her from dwelling on things like loneliness and isolation. She decided to go with her current need. Besides, she wasn't ready for her time with Griff to end. She wanted to make the most of the memories.

“All right, let's go pick us some green beans.”

Rod smiled with approval. She blushed and hurried after Griff, ignoring the certainty that leaving had just become that much harder.

Oh, Rachel. What are you doing?

 

The aroma of spaghetti sauce and warm bread greeted Josh when he walked through the front door. Laughter drifted in from the kitchen. Feminine laughter.

His brows snapped together. His father had left a message saying they needed Josh home right away.

As he made his way through the house, he could hear voices. His father's, Griff's and then a voice he'd thought he'd never hear in his home: Rachel's.

His father, it seemed, had taken up the matchmaking business where Mrs. G. had left off. But their
efforts would never pay off, regardless of how easy and natural it felt to be in her company.

When his dad had told him that Griff and Rachel were at Columbia, all he could think about were the times they'd spent there years ago and how much he wanted to spend the day with Rachel and his son.

He'd wanted to make sure she was okay after the revelations of the day before; at least that's how he'd rationalized his need to be with them. It had been sweet torture. He hadn't wanted it to end. Reality really stank at times.

Rounding the corner to the kitchen, he stopped in the doorway. Griff stood on a chair in front of a large pot on the stove with a spoon in his hand. Rachel was leaning over his shoulder, his father's barbecue apron double-wrapped around her slim waist. One of Josh's old bandanas held back her ebony hair.

For a moment, dizziness swept through him. Seeing Rachel and Griff together, their heads bent close, made his heart ache. This was what he wanted. A wife to raise his son and a woman who would be passionate about their family, about him. A warm woman to love, who would want his love.

He gave himself a shake.

Rachel was not that person. Her career was her priority. She'd made that perfectly clear. She would never be content living here with them no matter how much fun they had together.

He exhaled slowly, finally remembering to breathe, and met his father's knowing gaze. Josh narrowed his eyes with silent reprimand. Rod shrugged, but his eyes held mirth and mischief.

“I didn't know we were having company tonight,” Josh commented as he stepped fully into the room.

Rachel turned quickly toward him, her eyes wide. Obviously she wasn't a willing participant in his father's matchmaking scheme. Not that she'd ever agree to such a thing. She'd claimed she didn't need anyone and Josh pitied her for that. He'd have self-destructed long ago if not for his father, Griff and Mrs. G.

Sadness for Rachel, for the blows she'd sustained in the past few days and for her insistence of a solitary life, weighed heavily on his heart. She deserved his compassion and understanding. He'd made her laugh today. He'd do what he could to keep things light between them.

Griff waved the spoon, sending red sauce spraying everywhere. “Hi, Dad. What are you doing home so early? We didn't think you'd be home 'til late.”

A splatter of sauce landed on Rachel's cheek but she didn't seem to notice. Her gaze pierced him. Her blue eyes darkened and her lips parted slightly. He recognized that look. The same one she'd had before she'd kissed him. It was a look that told him she saw him as a man in the here and now, not just as some guy from her past.

The uncomfortable pounding of his heart made thinking difficult. He broke the eye contact with Rachel and forced himself to answer his son. “I got a message—”

Rod cleared his throat, cutting him off. Josh shook his head at his father's antics. This had to stop. He and Rachel weren't going to get back together. The sooner his father accepted reality the better.

In a sudden flurry of activity, Rachel pulled off the apron, moved to the sink and washed her hands. “I think I should be leaving now. You gentlemen enjoy your dinner.” She moved to the back door and then
stopped. Slowly she turned around. “Uh, Rod, would you mind taking me back to the hotel?”

Eyebrows raised in innocent surprise, Rod asked, “Couldn't we wait until after we eat? I'm hungry.” He deliberately moved to the table and sat down.

Her gaze darted between the men. She swallowed. “I don't want to intrude.”

Josh moved to the sink and washed his hands. Her gaze remained on him and he sensed her reluctance. “I'll take you back after dinner, Rachel.”

She pulled her lip between her teeth, looking a little forlorn and uncertain. Surprise flickered through him. Seeing the moment of vulnerability touched him, making him want to take her in his arms and hold her. If they could recapture a fraction of the comfortable and easy atmosphere they'd shared earlier in the day, then he could let her go.