Mastering Multiple Position Sex (29 page)

POSITION 2

POSITION 3

This Chapter’s Positions and Their Degrees of Difficulty:

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POSITION 1
: Love Bridge

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POSITION 2
: Transition

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POSITION 3
: Eiffel Tower

Whether it’s because of roommates, houseguests, children, or somebody banging on the restroom door, sometimes we have enough time for fast sex only.

Quickie sex can tell your partner, “I wish we had more time for a longer session, but I want to connect with you right now for as long as we can.” Quickie sex can be spontaneous and thrilling, especially when there is an element of risk—you sneak away from a dessert party to enjoy some dessert of your own. I would advise holding off on a quickie only when there is adequate time for and interest in something more substantial on the part of one of the partners. Other than that exception, any time can be sex time.

Setting the Stage

Quickies rely on the players, the place, and playing time. Quickies can be spontaneous—like an impromptu jam session—or planned. If a couple knows that a quickie will take place, they can dress accordingly. Kilts work well, as does going commando. For some, unbuttoned or partially removed clothes during a quickie give the feeling of being enveloped in sheets. It allows the exhibitionist in you to return to work with your buttons misaligned, a cufflink missing, or a skirt inside out. The key is to remove only what is necessary so reassembly can be speedy. Depending on the clock, on who’s coming back with the fast food, or how long you can keep the “stop” button pressed on the elevator, both partners may have to return to “all systems normal” right after their climax as Mr. and Ms. Come, Cool, and Collected.

Another important aspect of quickies is what helps make everything else so necessary—the scene. If you had access to a secret bookcase that hid a soundproof safe room, it might make a quickie less exciting. The problem with what I dub “quickie quaints”—those top secret sex serendipities that we discover and to which we are so eager to return—is that we can’t tell people about them. If we did, the next time we went with a partner, it would look like some kind of Roman orgy.

Without giving away precise locations (or identities), my clients have enjoyed quickies in the following spots:

• “The gender-neutral bathroom down the hall.”

• “The area behind the local shopping center.”

• “Our car.”

• “Open house real estate tours.”

• “Closets.”

• “The elevator.”

• “The stairs.” (Sexologists suggest the upper floors, where nobody goes—except the seventy-four people who also have had quickie sex there.)

• “Abandoned buildings.”

• “Picnic site, when nobody was around.”

• “A tour of a candy factory. We snuck off to the abandoned room where they make sparkling beverages.”

“Let’s face it—life in the fast lane sometimes means sex in the fast lane too.”

• “Mountain top.”

• “Just inside our door, wedged between both walls.” (A great way to ensure that nobody comes through the door.)

• “A pre-dinner shower.”

• “At the health club in the sauna, just before closing.”

• “The beach behind the dunes.”

• “A secluded bench in the park.”

• “In the dell near a pretty footbridge in a colonial college town in Virginia.”

The point is simple: Do have fun. Don’t get caught.

Warm-Up

With these jam sessions, there’s little time or space for sexplay. That said, when you call your partner to say, “Honey, let’s sneak into my office after lunch and we’ll have sex before the conference call,” the announcement itself becomes part of the sexplay.

To make every minute count, a quickie must boil sex down to the basics. You see, with a quickie, a lot of things happen in a rush, all at once. Remember TV dinners? Everything is laid out on one tray: appetizer, entree, side dishes, and the sweet dessert that some people always eat first. In a sexual sprint, as you race down the hall or into the closet, the feeling of unbuttoning your shirt or hiking up your dress, the thought of what the person running alongside you will look like naked and panting—that is your sexplay. The thought of sex, coming, getting caught, or getting back to the rest of the house tour before the real estate agent catches you—makes you wet all over.

“Clothes make the quickie, which explains all those tiny, impossible-to-unfasten buttons on the backs of wedding dresses. It guarantees that the wedding includes ‘something blue’—the groom’s balls.”

POSITION 1:
Love Bridge

Because of the theoretical need to flee, the first position is designed in case you both have to hightail it out of there. If you feel that you can spend more time together, then take advantage of the next position. The Eiffel Tower makes a nice ending to a “whew!” moment, because you face each other in an embrace for the rest of your rushed time together.

In whatever state of undress that makes you comfortable, turn your back to him and spread your legs. Depending on the height of the partners, you might need to raise or lower yourself. If you need to be higher, heels can be the perfect solution—not to mention a turn-on.

While he undresses—or while he watches—you can wet your fingers and rub your vulva for lubricant. Not to worry: He’ll soon be behind you adding his own saliva to the mix. If he has trouble getting hard, take a hint from the early days of porn when there were fluffers, people whose job it was to get a porn star hard by stroking and sucking him to rigidity.

Time permitting, you can drop to your knees and position yourself under her spread legs to lick her clitoris and vulva.

Standing, and then moving behind her, you can rub your hard penis back and forth along her inner and outer lips, as you reach under and around her waist to find her clitoris. Sex produces liquids, so make sure that your clothes and hers are out of the way, if you want no proof of this encounter.

Lean forward and feel him penetrate you. If you need support, and there is none, bend slightly at the knees and place your hands flat on your quadriceps. If you can prop yourself with one hand or arm, use your other hand to stimulate yourself. You can also reach between your legs and lightly massage his balls, which will hasten the action.