Mastering Multiple Position Sex (6 page)

POSITION 2

POSITION 2:
Transition

To move into the next position, the man should assume a sit-up position, leaning back against a cushion or pillow, and the woman can nestle her back against his chest and prop her arms on his legs. Alternatively, he can rest his legs flat on the shared surface, and she can lean her back against his chest. My clients often tell me that this position causes them both to breathe—the first and most important factor in the BEST SEX formula—to harmonize.

POSITION 3:
Row Your Boat

This position gets its name from the position that a college crew team assumes. The couple can adjust themselves, so that he can peer over her shoulder and she can access her erogenous zones as easily as he can. I like to recommend this position for the bird’s-eye view that it provides the man, and the feeling of security—like a safety belt—that his arms provide for her. In a cool room, the couple can be partially covered; on a warm summer day with the windows flung open, they can be fully exposed.

There are options for how to proceed: He can practice what he just learned about her erogenous zones in the Mirror Mirror position—with her hands resting on his legs or exploring every place he isn’t; she can place her hands on top of his to show him the where and how; he can place his hands on top of hers to learn the where and how; they can explore simultaneously with both sets of hands (“the half octopus”); or any combination of the above. She can guide him with words and her moaning. He can also ask questions or request her permission—an erotic version of Twenty Questions, or Mother, May I?

If the woman’s hands aren’t exploring her body, then they are free to explore his—a general “rule of thumb” to follow during sex. We have hands for structural support, emotional support, or sexual stimulation. Only in pornography are they needed for brushing hair out of the camera’s way or to clutch sheets (unless, of course, clutching sheets helps build or release that sexual tension known as an orgasm; then, by all means, clutch those sheets).

For a more practical application of hands-on sex, she can lean her head back on his collar bone, arch her back, and let her hands trace down his torso toward his cock—or even farther south.

Depending on the height and weight of both partners, this position might not work well with the parties switched and the man up front. The risk is that he will lean back and smother her (and no one wants to be smothered in a relationship). In the case where Davina meets Goliath, he could either kneel with her behind him, perhaps with her head under one of his arms, or they could sit in a large chair, with him perched on the edge to avoid crushing her.

The key is to provide her with the same bird’s-eye view that he enjoyed while simulating her. I know one couple who accomplished amazing lessons in the shower, with her behind him, as he genuflected. She gleaned a copious amount of information about male orgasms from grasping his cock and stroking him to orgasm—and he became her human strap-on dildo of sorts, with his hands unencumbered to explore her body or his own.

POSITION 3

POSITION 4

“To see your partner’s genitals in the moments just before orgasm can be an enlightening experience.”

POSITION 4:
69 in Digital Stereo

If you ever want to test the sexual knowledge—or naiveté—of a potential partner, hold a deck of cards in your hand and ask if they would like to join you in a game of
soixante-neuf
. If they know sex—or studied French—prepare yourself for a look of confusion, a modest smile, or perhaps a stellar evening, because
soixante-neuf
is French for mutual oral sex. The circular parts of the 6 and 9 represent the head, and the squiggles are the legs.

I have returned the frat-house version of 69, which has one partner—usually the lighter of the two—on top of the other, to its traditional side-by-side roots, and I have replaced the oral workout with manual stimulation and exploration. I prefer this masturbatory 69 position because it accommodates people of varying sizes and weights, allows for a view that is up close and personal, and it can easily lead to oral sex, if the hands tire.

It would require a sexologist with the skill of a film or food writer to describe the hundreds of changes that occur prior to, during, and after orgasm—not to mention that sexual response cycles vary from person to person.

Both partners lie on their sides, facing in opposite directions, and rest their head on the other person’s lower leg. From here, each stimulates the other’s genitals. The advantage of this position is that it allows for equal access. It also allows for the stimulating partner to give a firsthand report of what is transpiring. “Your cock is dripping so much pre-come right now, I could just eat you with a spoon!”

As the orgasms approach, both people should focus on the orgasm taking place in front of them, as well as the one inside them. This challenge—far more difficult than walking while chewing gum—highlights one of the reasons that many sex counselors and therapists discourage mutual orgasms.

Acknowledging and embracing auto-orgasmogenesis—my word to describe how all sexual pleasure is ultimately self-pleasure, even when you are partnered—is the key to enjoying the rest of this book and the rest of your life as a sexual being. Auto-orgasmogenesis takes the shame and blame out of pre-orgasmia—those times in our lives when we went without a climax—by putting us in the driver’s seat for all our orgasms to come.

Brava! Bravo!

With careful positioning, unfettered communication, patience, and plenty of lubricant at the ready, mutual masturbation can provide both partners with hours of fun, education, and bedroom bliss. With senses alert, each of you can benefit from watching the other and applying what you’ve learned from a practical and loving perspective. Finally, there is no need to have simultaneous orgasms—it’s not that kind of duet. When I say sex is like a canon, I don’t mean the detonating kind. Think of it as a canon, a song in a round, such as “Row, Row, Row, Your Boat,” during which one person comes a little later than the other, but both end in unison—where life is but a dream.

“When you accept that the primary source of your sexual pleasure is yourself—and not a partner—that’s when you can understand that your role in another person’s orgasm is akin to an apprentice and, later, an assistant.”

2
^nd
Movement
Introduction to Harmony: A Study in Sexual Progression

In music, we would consider this chapter to be variations on a theme. In sex counseling, we would call it progression. If a couple is most familiar with or favors a particular position, or because of physical restrictions they have just one position that they’re able to try, sex counselors work with them to make that position as interesting and rewarding as possible.

Rear-entry, also known as “doggy style,” is one such position that many couples use. For them, it may be the only position, other than missionary, that they know. Women who get aroused when the penis glances across the vaginal ceiling or who enjoy the mutual access to their clitoris, pubic mound, or even their ass, may opt for a rear-entry position.

2
^nd
Movement

POSITION 1

POSITION 2

POSITION 3