Mastering Multiple Position Sex (5 page)

1
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Movement
Your First Duet: The Joys of Mutual Maestro-bation

Having learned about your body’s pleasure points in the first movement, you can now share your mastery with your partner. Mutual masturbation (Mirror Mirror) and mutual stimulation (Row Your Boat and 69 in Digital Stereo) can provide you with more intense orgasms for three reasons: One, you are stimulating yourself as you teach your partner; two, there is greater focus on your erogenous zones than with standard penile-vaginal sex; and three, mind-blowing sex originates with mind-blowing masturbation.

It is said that our eyes are the windows into our souls; well, they also serve as windows into erotic love. Too often, however, couples close their eyes during sex, so make a point of keeping your eyes open during Mirror Mirror.

1
^st
Movement

POSITION 1

POSITION 2

POSITION 3

POSITION 4

This Chapter’s Positions and Their Degrees of Difficulty:

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POSITION 1
: Mirror Mirror

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POSITION 2
: Transition

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POSITION 3
: Row Your Boat

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POSITION 4
: 69 in Digital Stereo

As you watch your partner masturbate, look not only for where they touch themselves, but also how, and, if several places are involved, in what order. The goal is not to memorize a specific pattern, but rather to notice those areas that excite your partner most. When you participate in one or both of the first two positions, you’ll have a better idea of how to let your fingers do the walking. Your orgasms will be like canons—not the explosive, military kind, but rather like Pachelbel’s flowing, musical variety.

Setting the Stage

When I first recommended Mirror Mirror to clients, I would ask the partners to face each other in the same position; over the years, though, it became apparent that one person preferred to kneel while the other preferred to recline. One might be more comfortable standing, and the other might like to rock in a chair. The crucial element is that you both have excellent vantage points, so neither has to settle for the Broadway euphemism of a “partially obstructed view.” Also, if the last one or two positions will take you to a different space (e.g., from the floor to a bed), make sure that the second area is ready for you. If you go with Row Your Boat, he will need space to recline. If you do 69 in Digital Stereo, you will both need ample space to lie on your sides.

While I discuss sex toys in a later chapter, feel free to use toys on yourself here, particularly if they will help you reach whatever you define as your sexual goal—whether that is sex flush—an involuntary reddening of various body parts, such as the chest or abdomen, that sometimes precedes climax—or a toe-curling orgasm that would shatter the crystal in Aunt Betty’s cabinet.

Warm-Up

Even though the positions in this chapter fall under the rubric of
sexplay
—which, as I have discussed, can take place on its own or as foreplay—it would behoove you both to get into the sexual spirit of things before you begin. Few people can plop down in front of their partners and start masturbating; moreover, you are here to kindle a spark, not to rub genitals to start a fire. With that in mind, here are some ground rules. The intent of the first half is to watch the other person share an individual form of self-pleasure. Orgasms are allowed, but not necessary, so there should be no pressure to orgasm. Each person can ask questions and make play-by-play commentary. How else are you going to learn? Partners can ask to switch from mutual masturbation—where they watch each other masturbate—to mutual stimulation—where they stimulate each other simultaneously—before returning to mutual masturbation. Finally, both sides can request an intermission or a “time out” for any reason, particularly if one person feels uncomfortable with masturbation.

That having been said, and with ample lube available, ring the school bell. Class is in session!

“Everyone has a different learning style: Some learn best by seeing, some learn by listening, some learn by doing, and some learn through discovery. Make your ‘orgasm coaching’ a mixture of all four to guarantee that the lessons sink in before you sink into each other.”

POSITION 1:
Mirror Mirror

The goal for this position is to make each other wet from a distance. Think of it as “phone sex gone wireless” or a webcam experience without the web or the cam. On opposite sides of a shared space, make yourselves comfortable. Since this is in some ways a copy-cat exercise, each of you could start by practicing the fine art—and skill—of stripping for each other. You could also disrobe each other—what better way to learn how to unhinge that behind-the-back bra clasp or to remove a jockstrap without losing an eye? Once out of your clothes, assume whatever positions you want to start in. Pay attention to yourself and to your partner. If doing both at the same time is too difficult, please feel free to do one and then the other. If you can accomplish both in tandem, though, you might find that the visual stimulation brings you closer to orgasm. It is also common for couples to synchronize their arousal and orgasms, which I encourage you to avoid. This is not a game of Monkey See, Monkey Do. If your partner seems to be approaching orgasm before you, look and learn. Knowing how to expedite or delay his or her pleasure is a skill that could benefit you in the future.

POSITION 1

“Watching our partner masturbate while he or she watches us masturbate can make us feel nervous, self-conscious, or stressed. It can also be one hell of a turn on, if we let it.”

Observe signs of excitement as the lessons progress. Some people experience sex flush as they approach orgasm. Look and listen for the presence of extra bodily fluids—such as sweat or pre-come—as genitals and erogenous zones are touched and stroked. Are there signs of heavy or labored breathing? Dry mouth? A frantic search for more lube? Did a finger just make a jump down below to hibernate in the love cave of your partner’s asshole? Finally, try to monitor your partner’s tempo. As you both build toward climax, make sure that your partner can see that you are speeding up or slowing down. Timing, for most of us, is everything.

If you have an orgasm during this phase, celebrate it—and savor the six elements of BEST SEX, particularly the “Exaggerate” stage. Unless you are an actor in the adult entertainment industry, there are no prizes for loudest orgasm, so don’t feel that you have to scream “Yes, yes, yes!” or “Encore!” Also, if you have an orgasm during this phase, be aware of how your body reacts. Try to determine how quickly your clitoris or the head of your penis returns from “Don’t touch me—too sensitive!” to a feeling of “Okay, you can touch me now.” The myth of being hypersensitive for long periods of time after an orgasm exists more in the head on your shoulders than in the head of your clitoris or cock.