MySoultoSave (23 page)

“So you’re a demon.”

“Yes. At least, I was.”

“Oh, come on!” She shot to her feet, paced a few steps away
and whirled on him. “Do you really think I’m going to buy this bullshit? Demons
are about as real as unicorns and leprechauns. What are you trying to pull
here?”

“Logan, please.” The pain in his voice reflected in his
eyes. “Hear me out, and then decide whether you believe me.”

She wanted to refuse. This was absolutely ridiculous. But
with everything he’d done for her, maybe she owed him an audience—and once he
vented this conspiracy theory of his, or whatever this insanity was, they could
try to figure out what was really going on. “All right,” she said, and sat back
down. “Explain.”

He nodded, as though convincing himself to continue. “Let me
start with the basics,” he said. “Demons and angels exist. Our worlds—Shade and
Citadel—are part of yours, though most humans will not see them. They overlap
one another, but Shade and Citadel cannot exist in the same place. Do you understand?”

“No.”

“All right.” He let out a sigh. “We compete for control,
demons and angels. The more corruption and discord there is among humans, the
greater the area of Shade. More peace and happiness, more Citadel. But there is
a greater prize that we fight for. Certain humans called Nabi, or prophets, who
have the power to influence millions.”

“Prophets,” she said with a heavy dose of skepticism.
“Elijah and Mohammed, guys like that.”

“They were, yes. But prophets can be good or evil. John F.
Kennedy was one, and so was Adolph Hitler. Mother Teresa and Saddam Hussein.
Mahatma Gandhi and Charles Manson.” He looked at her with fierce intensity.
“Logan Frost.”

“Excuse me?”

“You are a prophet, Logan.” A sad smile formed on his lips.
“That’s why you can see the Tempters and banish them. That’s why they want
you.”

“No.” She edged away from him, shaking her head. “No way.
They’ve got the wrong chick. I’m a junkie, a nobody.” Shit, she was buying into
this. It almost made sense, if she could get past the whole angels and demons
thing. But that just wasn’t possible.

“You are Nabi, and you are their target. You must accept
this. It’s the only way you can protect yourself.”

She shivered. “I can’t.”

“Very well.” Jaeryth grimaced and closed his eyes. “I’ll
prove it.”

“I don’t think you can.”

He looked at her. “When you left your father’s house, you
lived in Crystaltown. You were addicted to crystal meth. You stayed with your
boyfriend, who was in a band, but you never performed. And then you stayed with
a girl named Deenie.”

Her heart dropped into her gut. “How could you know that?”
she said. “Oh my God. Tex told you, didn’t he?”

“No, he did not.” A muscle worked along Jaeryth’s jaw.
“Once, you tried to call someone. Your Gran. But she didn’t answer, and then
you remembered she was dead. You cried for hours.”

“You can’t know that!” Shock brought her to her feet. “No
one does. I never talked about Gran. Who
are
you?”

His fingers clenched, unclenched. “I told you. I am a
demon.”

“But everyone can see you. Not just me.”

“Yes,” he said. “I was made human. Stripped of my wings and
tail, and sent here to…”

Wings and tail. The scars on his back. Oh Jesus, maybe he
was telling the truth. “Sent here to what?” she whispered.

“To corrupt you. Turn you to our side.” His voice emerged
ragged and hoarse. “Demons aren’t permitted to kill humans. We can only
influence them, as the Tempters did to the man who attacked you. So the Prince
of Hell made me human and demanded that if I failed to turn you—”

“You’d kill me.” It hurt to say the words, but not as much
as it had to hear this. She felt the blood drain from her face as she backed
away. “Jaeryth…”

“I never would have done it,” he said. “I doubt you’ll
believe that, but it’s true.”

As she struggled to hold back the scream rising in her, a
new realization surfaced, slicing her further apart. “Fred. You’re
Fred.
You were the voice!” She hitched a breath and tears streamed hotly down her
face. “You ruined my life once. And then you came back to do it again.”

“Please. Let me—”

“Get out.” She stalked to the front door and yanked it open.
“Get out of my house. Get out of my
life
.”

He rose slowly, but made no move to leave. “They will come
back,” he said. “You must watch for the Tempters. You have the power to stop
them, if you see them in time. You are a prophet.”

“Stop saying that!”

“Your friend Tex knows these things. Ask him, if you don’t
believe me.”

“Don’t you dare bring Tex into this,” she snapped. “I
should’ve listened to him. He was right about you.”

Jaeryth flinched. “He’s an angel, Logan. That’s why he
knows.”

“Oh, that’s it. Leave. Before I call the cops.”

For a moment she thought he wouldn’t, that she really would
have to get the police. Finally, he started stiffly toward her. “I’ll go,” he
said. “But please, call Tex, and tell him what I’ve told you. You must believe
this.” He stopped just outside the doorway and the anguish in his eyes
threatened to consume her. “I never wanted to hurt you.”

She glared at him. “Too late.”

Somehow she managed to close the door on him. She waited
until she heard him cross the porch and descend the steps, and then with hands
that trembled violently, she dug out her phone and called Tex.

* * * * *

Jaeryth decided that he could handle Tartarus after all.
What he’d just done had hurt far more than any torment Samael could devise.
Seeing her shattered, knowing he’d been the cause of her pain, was the ultimate
torture.

And to rub salt into the wounds, he’d begged her to seek
help from the damned angel.

She seemed to believe him toward the end. However, he would
not leave the premises until he was certain she’d be safe. She must have called
Tex by now. He would wait and have a few words with the angel, and then he’d
go.

It struck him suddenly that he had no idea what to do with
himself now.

He nearly laughed aloud. How ironic. As a human, he couldn’t
simply walk into Hell and turn himself over to Samael. Nor could he care for
himself like this—basic needs like food and shelter required money, which he
had no way to obtain. He had nowhere to go, and he would probably starve to
death.

Of course, he could always commit suicide. He was already
bound for Hell. It wouldn’t matter how he got there.

He settled on the ground beside the steps to wait for Tex
and occupied his mind with ways to end this mortal life. At least it kept him
from thinking of Logan. There was a certain satisfaction in the idea of jumping
from a building, as the human whose death he’d regretted causing had done. But
if he failed to climb high enough, he might end up crippled instead of dead. He
could take pills—he’d have to steal them—but he didn’t know which ones or how
many would kill him. Perhaps he could throw himself into traffic. That would
work…unless the vehicles swerved to avoid him or weren’t going fast enough for
a lethal hit.

Hell’s flames. He couldn’t even kill himself properly.

The drone of an approaching engine called his attention. He
looked up to see Tex’s car slow and pull into the driveway. Swallowing his
bitterness, he stood and attempted to steel himself for the confrontation.

Tex climbed out, and his gaze lit immediately on Jaeryth.
“What the hell are you doing here?” the angel snarled as he strode toward him.

Jaeryth shook his head. “Angels shouldn’t curse,” he said.
“It’s not becoming.”

“What?” Tex froze halfway across the yard. “There’s
something wrong with you, friend. I’m a drummer. Remember?”

“We have no time for these games.” Jaeryth moved forward,
struggling to hold back the hatred that seethed in his gut. “I know what you
are. And now, Logan knows what I am.”

Tex narrowed his eyes. “Really. And what are you, exactly?”

“Ask her. I’m sure she’ll have plenty of questions for you
as well.” He glanced back, in case Logan decided to come out and greet Tex. The
house remained silent. “We’re not that different, you and I,” he said. “We both
know how important she is, and we both want to protect her.”

“Yeah, right. Why don’t I believe you’ve been trying to
protect her?”

Jaeryth shrugged. “I can’t force you to believe otherwise.
But I’ve done all I can, and now I must leave her in your hands.” Bile rose in
his throat. He was surrendering to an angel. If he’d still been a demon, this
would have gotten him severely punished—a week in the square, or maybe service
on the trains. But that no longer mattered. Only Logan did. “Please keep her safe.
They’ve already come for her once. She stopped them, but she must understand
her abilities and be ready to use them again.” He could no longer meet Tex’s
gaze. “You can convince her where I have failed. You’re her friend.”

Something in the angel’s stern features softened. “Who are
you?”

“Logan will tell you.” He looked back once more at the door
that would remain forever closed for him. “She’s told me to leave, so I am. I
only want your promise that you’ll protect her. And then I’ll be on my way.”

Tex offered a slow nod, and a look that might have been
respect. “You have it.”

“Thank you.”

He couldn’t bear another moment of this. He’d said his piece
and gotten the angel’s word. Now it was time to go. Without looking at Tex, he
walked across the lawn toward the sidewalk and headed toward the slum where
Logan had been attacked. There was too much familiarity in the other direction
and he didn’t wish to be reminded of what he’d lost.

Behind him, he heard the door to the house open—and a
wrenching sob drifted out before it closed again, a parting shot that cleaved
his already broken heart.

* * * * *

Logan couldn’t even get off the couch when Tex came in,
looking as if he’d just seen a ghost. She dimly registered that she hadn’t
locked the door, but she was crying too hard to care.

Despite everything Jaeryth had confessed, she loved him. And
that’s what hurt the most.

Tex didn’t say a word. He sat down next to her, put an arm
around her and let her cry. It was the only thing he could have done that
wouldn’t have made her feel worse. He’d always known exactly what she needed,
almost as if he could read her mind. Why hadn’t she listened to him this time?

Eventually she ran out of tears. When her heaving subsided
and she was left with nothing but the shakes, she straightened as best she
could and swiped at her face. “Thanks for coming,” she said, her voice rasping
from her throat.

“Any time.” He gave her a gentle squeeze. “Do you want to
tell me what’s going on now?”

She sniffled and nodded. She hadn’t explained anything to
him on the phone, just asked him to come over, right now. Her frantic tone
must’ve convinced him. “Jaeryth—” She choked on his name, and had to take a
deep breath so she wouldn’t start bawling all over again. “He told me some
really crazy things. And…I think I believe him.”

“What kind of things?”

“Well.” She hesitated. If Jaeryth had been lying, or insane,
Tex would think she’d lost her mind. But she had to know, especially if Tex
really was…not human. “He said he was a demon,” she admitted. “And that you’re
an angel, and I’m a prophet.”

Tex stiffened. Just when she thought he’d deny it and send
her back into believing she’d lost her mind, he said, “He shouldn’t have told
you that much.”

“So it’s true,” she whispered. Part of her was instantly
furious with Tex. If he’d known this all along, he should’ve been the one to
tell her, instead of the demon who’d been sent to destroy her. But she didn’t
have enough strength left to be angry right now. “He claimed that he had to,”
she said. “The black-eyed freaks, the Tempters, tried to kill me tonight.”

“What?” Tex faced her, eyes wide with shock. “You’re already
seeing them?”

“I’ve been seeing them for the last week.” Her anger
struggled to the surface. “I didn’t tell you because I was afraid you’d send me
back to Grothman. Any normal person would’ve thought I was hallucinating. How
could I have ever guessed that you’re an angel?” Even as the word left her
lips, she realized she’d accepted it. All of it. It was the only possible
explanation—but that didn’t mean she had to like it. “And did you happen to
hear the part about them trying to kill me?”

“Oh, no. Logan, I’m so sorry.” He closed his eyes briefly.
“If I thought for a minute that anything was wrong, I would’ve tried to explain
things. I had no idea you were so close.”

She frowned. “Close to what?”

“Your awakening.” He stared off into the distance. “You
already know too much. It isn’t supposed to happen like this.”

“Tex, what the hell are you talking about?”

Instead of answering, he said, “What, exactly, did Jaeryth
say?”

Though it was the last thing she wanted to remember, she
repeated the conversation about Shade and Citadel, and how Mother Teresa and
Charles Manson were prophets. She managed to explain that Jaeryth had been made
human, apparently by having his wings and tail cut off, and was sent to either
ruin or kill her—whichever he could manage. By the time she finished, she was
in tears again.

“My God,” Tex said. “He wasn’t lying. He really was trying
to protect you.”

Her brow furrowed. “He said that to you? When?”

“He was outside the house when I got here.”

It took a lot of willpower not to jump up and run to the
door. She wanted desperately to believe he never intended to hurt her—but it
just wasn’t true. He’d been the voice in her head, urging her into
self-destruction, for years. And for God’s sake, he was a demon. Why would a
demon ever have good intentions?

She felt torn in two and she didn’t see any way to put
herself back together.