Nessa (Broken Sisters #1) (17 page)

"What's this?" I question.

"That's an invitation to my birthday party in two weeks. I would really like you to come. I understand if you're not ready." I feel like saying, hell to the freaking no but I just nod and he smiles.

I head home to get ready to go to Taylor's. When I'm coming in Stacey is heading out.

"I'm meeting Jeff and tomorrow we're talking about this pregnancy you're not telling anyone about." With that she kisses me on the cheek and leaves. Guess I was right, she did know.

I arrive at Taylor's at eight and he greets me by taking me straight into his arms. Man I love his kisses.

"What was that for?" I swoon, seriously pregnancy makes me horny.

"That's because I missed you." How much I wonder and I drop my hand down the length of his body to see how much he missed me. Yup he's hard. Oh man I just want to bite him or something. He gets what I mean and takes me straight to the bedroom where he makes love to me. Something feels off though, he's not himself.

We're just lying there not talking so I figure now would be a great time to brooch the kids subject. "Have you ever thought about having kids?" I know it's random and I feel him tense under me.

"I don't want kids Nessa." Oh well that's not good. Shit. I can't drop it though considering I'm having his baby.

"Why? Almost everyone wants them at some stage in their life." I'm praying he says something positive here.

"No, I don't want them at all and I really don't want to talk about this anymore."

Now I'm pissed. Sure doesn't matter that I might want kids. Never mind the fact that I'm actually having one. I sit up and look at him.

"And what about me? What if I want them?" He gets out of bed and starts dressing himself. What the hell is he doing?

"Well then you have the wrong man Nessa." He looks hurt by his own statement. Why is he saying this if he doesn't mean it?

"So that's it. End of discussion. If I want to be with you I don't get a say in our future?"

He thinks for a minute. "Who said we have a future?" With that he goes in and rips my heart clear from my chest. It physically hurts. I rub my chest as a tear leaks from my eye and he just stands there staring. I get up and get dressed while he turns his back to me and looks out the window.

What the hell happened? I can't even say anything because if I open my mouth I'll cry. So I just walk out. It's two in the morning and he just let me go.

I make it home and just sit in the dark. I'm not going to cry for that asshole, I have a baby to think off. I sit there all night just calming myself and dealing with my shattered heart.

I don't want to be alone and I never ask for help but I text Stacey because right now I really need her to tell me what to do. I'm so stuck, how am I supposed to do this?

I head into the shower and it's like I'm a robot. I can't function properly. I really can't wait for this year to end because my shitty lucky is just non freaking stop. Just as I get dressed Stacey burst through the door.

"What's wrong Nessa? Fuck look at you. What the hell happened?"

I just look are her because she's barely dressed and her hair is everywhere. She must have just ran when I texted and for some reason I feel the need to hug her. She hugs me right back. How have I never seen this?

I walk out and put the kettle on and she sits at the table waiting for me to speak.

"I'm twelve weeks pregnant. Of course you have known and I knew you had discovered my secret but I just wanted time to deal. You know me."

"Of course I know you, you idiot. You spent most of the damn time puking," she says in duh voice.

"I know. This baby is kicking my ass already." I smile weakly.

"It will get better and if it doesn't just think in the end you get to hold that little one." She points toward my stomach causing me to rub it and her to smile.

"Thanks but doesn't mean I have to like puking," I laugh.

"What happened?" she says softly.

"Taylor doesn't want kids." She goes to butt in but I shake my head. "I haven't told him yet. But when I brought it up last night he told me he never wants them and then proceeded to tell me that it didn't matter if I did because we have no future anyway." Before I can blink she's up and pacing.

"I'm going to kick the fucking face off him! What the hell is his problem?" She looks to me and then calms a bit. "Look you don't need him. You have me and the girls. We don't need him, but tell him anyway for your child. You have to after everything with your own dad. It's best just to tell him and leave it to him so at least when he walks away you know you tried. Either way I'm going to kill him, do you understand that?"

I laugh because she will really kill him. She's a hellcat when she gets going.

"I know you're right. I just need to deal with him and me not being together. It's not making much sense at the moment nothing in my life is. Everything's all over the place and I know I need to try to straighten it." She nods and tells me she's going to have a quick shower and then we can have a movie day.

If I hadn't of mentioned kids would we still be together now? What changed in him I don't understand. On the other hand I should have known we had no future. I mean we barely went out, we were mainly at his place or mine.

I really thought I could feel his love. How wrong can one person be? For years I thought I was unloved because they all just left, when I start figuring things out it turns out I'm wrong about everybody and everything.

My life is one big fuckfest and I don't know how to start dealing with all this but one thing is for sure—I will do it for my baby because he or she will always come first.

I pick myself up and head for the shower, it's time to go tell the prick he going to be a Father. It's time to start facing my issues one at a time starting with Taylor.

I shower and dress in my jeans only my damn top button won't close. I look in the mirror and that's when I see the rounded baby bump that has replaced my normally flat stomach. I rub my bump feeling so much love for this little bump and that's when I realise no matter what happens everyone can go to hell. If Taylor can’t accept it, screw him.

When I walk out Stacey is at the table reading one of her trashy gossip magazines and her face is so red it looks like it going to explode.

"What has you so angry?" She jumps and closes the magazine. Now her face has a sadness about it, that's when I get a flash back to what I saw the last time I looked into one of those magazines.

"Why are you dressed? We're having a movie day," she says nervously.

"Show me." She shakes her head no.

"Nessa, don't do it to yourself." She's begging a little so it must be bad.

"Show me." She finally hands over the magazine and I flip through the pages till I come across a picture of Taylor with Miss Leggy Blonde. He has his arm around her and she's smiling up at him, it's dated two weeks. Which was when he told me he had a family thing, the caption reads that it's his birthday party.

I didn't even know it was his birthday. I'm so angry I swear I'm never going near another man again. Family problems my fucking ass. I'm so stupid. I grab my bag and walk to the door.

"Nessa where are you going? You need to calm down." That is where she is wrong. I don't need to calm down, I need this anger. For once it's what's going to get me through this.

"I'll be fine." Or not, but I'm going to do this anyway. I leave and head straight for Taylor's.

When I arrive I use my key card to get in the building and up to his door. Taking a deep long breath I knock. When he answers, the shock on his face is evident.

"Nessa what are you doing here?" He looks over his shoulder and back at me.

"We need to talk." Before he can answer I hear a woman.

"Taylor come on. Can we do this already, I have a busy day."

He doesn't take his eyes off me and right now I am just frozen there looking at him. I swallow back my tears and straighten my shoulders.

"Oh don't worry." I hit him with the magazine "I knew about her. She went with you to your birthday party. You may have been ashamed of me but how fucking dare you treat me like that. Are you that sick in the head that you play with people's feelings? Or are you just a greedy prick who wants a different woman for everyday of the week? Well fuck you Taylor. I didn't want you and you made me fall for you. Why couldn't you have just left me alone!" I was shouting at him and damn my hormones I could feel my tears dripping. He is looking at me in complete shock.

"Nessa fuck… This is… Fuck!" he roars and I just turn and leave but he grabs my arm.

"Nessa." I pull my arm from him and look at him with disgust

"You make me sick. Don't you ever say my name again. I fucking hate you and if I never see you again it will be too soon." With that I run to the elevator and press the button. I just make it out the door before I drop to my knees in front of the building and sob. A few minutes pass when I hear my name.

"Nessa?" I look up and I'm shocked to see my father.

"What's wrong? Come on let me help you." He looks worried. I just shake my head. Jesus it just keeps coming. He helps me up. "Let's get you home sweetheart/." I don't answer but he takes me back to my place.

I sit at the table. I still haven't talked to him and he doesn't question it which I'm grateful for. He puts a tea in front of me.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I look at him. He really does look worried.

"I'm pregnant," I blurt out.

"Are you happy about it?" he asks carefully. Well I suppose he did find me in a mess on the street and the first thing I say is I'm pregnant.

"About the baby yes, but the Father no. He's a cheating scumbag who hates kids." I laugh a little. It's not funny but seriously first Brandon then Taylor. I really should just give up men now.

I don't really want to talk about it anymore I can't deal with the pain in my God damn chest nor do I understand why he did this to me. I loved him. I decide to change the subject before he can question further.

"I'm sorry you had to find me like that. I don't know what happened. Were you visiting someone?" He nods.

"I was just visiting someone don't worry about that." Oh I didn't know that.

"Oh cool. Sorry. I didn't mean to disrupt your day." Bet he is just delighted to have a messed up kid. To be fair it's half his fault though.

"Don't you ever say sorry for that. If you ever need me I'll be there. I know you probably will never need me but if you ever decide one day to give your old man a chance, I won't let you down again."

Do I need him? Maybe not, but it would be nice for my baby to have some family. I realize in that moment life is too short and I can forgive him, in time of course.

"Well my baby is gonna need a Granddad to spoil him or her." He smiles a megawatt smile, one that goes right to his eyes.

"I can do that. You have no idea what that would mean to me." I smile because the look on his face tells me he will make a great Granddad.

"Look I'm not ready to call you Dad and I can forgive you in time when I deal with it all. I'd like us to move on from this. I have lived in the past way too long and my life is a bit of a mess at the moment but I'd like it if you were in it," I tell him truthfully.

"Nessa that makes me the happiest man in the world right now. I don't deserve you, never did, but I'm glad you can give me a chance to be a Granddad and maybe one day a Dad. Just make sure if you ever need anything you will call me."

I probably won't call him but he seems really happy now and I don't want to be a buzz kill so I just nod. We chat a little while longer.

Later I tell him he can go and that I'm fine. He seems reluctant but goes anyway. I'm feeling tired from the events of today, but just as I'm about to head to my room Stacey bursts through the door.

"Where the hell did you go? I have looked everywhere." She's grinding her teeth a little when she speaks and that's when I spot her holding her swollen hand.

"What did you do?" I say grabbing ice from the freezer

"Eh… I did nothing," she says a little too quickly. I raise an eyebrow.

"Ok. I may have went to Taylor's to see if you were there and when I saw blondie I just snapped and punched him in straight in the jaw. I may have hurt myself more than him. Like seriously his jaw is made of steel. Ouch go easy."