Never Far Away (17 page)

 
  “No problem.”  Ella heard the line go dead and then turned to the officer. “I heard some banging outside and then I saw someone walking past the front windows.  I panicked,” She said a little embarrassed.  “I might have overreacted.”

 
  “Ma’am, I need you to stay here in the living room and we are going to clear the rest of the house just to be certain.  Ok?”

 
  “Alright,” Ella said and turned to find her way to the couch.  She sat down and rested her head in her hands.  Her breathing was shallow and her head was starting to pound.  She heard footsteps on the floor above her and disembodied voices coming from all corners of the house as police officers searched the house for any intruders.

 
  Suddenly there was a commotion outside and Ella heard yelling.  She stood up before she knew where she was headed and found herself running for the door.  The voice she heard outside belonged to Porter and he was more upset than she’d ever heard.

 
  “Sir! We are still investigating and you cannot go in the house right now.”

 
  “This is my goddamn house and she’s in there! ELLA!  Damnit, get out of my way,” Ella heard Porter yelling.  She came out of the front door to see Porter being physically restrained by two police officers, struggling to make it to the house.

 
  “Ella!”  He yelled as soon as he spotted her.

 
  “Porter!” She cried as she ran down the porch steps towards him.  The officers holding Porter released him when they saw Ella coming towards them. When they finally collided, her arms went instinctively behind his neck, holding him tightly to her.  His arms wrapped around her waist and his face into her neck. 

 
  “Are you ok?”  He said, pulling away and holding her face in his hands, looking at her to see if she was injured.

 
  “I’m ok, Porter.  I’m ok,” she said and buried her face back into his chest.

 
  “I pulled up, and I saw the cop cars, and it was just like that night.  They wouldn’t let me get to you.  I had to get to you.”  He was on the verge of frantic, and as upset as she was, he needed her right now to be ok.  He needed her to be there for him, to know that what happened that night wasn’t being repeated.

 
  “Hey, Babe,” she said as she leaned back to look him in the eye.  “I’m right here and I’m fine.”

 
  “I can’t lose you again,” he whispered, his eyes brimming with tears.  He looked completely broken, as if everything he’d been trying to hold together for the last three months was crumbling right in front of her.

 
  “Porter, look at me,” she said and she gently took his face between her hands.  “I am not going anywhere and you don’t have to worry about losing me, ever.”  He nodded his head at her, indicating that he had heard and understood her, then pulled her back into his chest, holding on to her tightly.

 
  Minutes passed and they stayed in their embrace, unwilling to move for anything.  At least until Officer Barrow returned to Ella.

 
  “Excuse me, Ma’am?”  Ella pulled back from Porter to look at the officer.

 
  “Yes?”

 
  “Can you give me a statement about what happened tonight?”

 
  “Um, sure.  She pulled farther away from Porter to speak to the officer, but Porter didn't let her go, his grasp on her waist still firm and comforting to her. Porter left and I was reading on the couch.  When I got up to go into the kitchen I heard a loud bang outside, like someone had rammed into the door.  I waited to see if I could hear anything else, but it seemed to go away.  Then, I heard it again.  I got a little freaked out, but wanted to see what it was so I went to the door to open it.”  Ella felt Porter stiffen beside her.  He obviously didn’t like the fact that she had decided to investigate.  She linked her fingers with his and tried to calm him with her touch.

 
  “Before I could get the door open, I saw a shadow move across the window, as if a man had run in front of it outside.  I panicked and ran to call 9-1-1.  When the dispatcher told me to hide, I went into the bathroom off the living room and sat in the tub.”

 
  “Could you identify the suspect in a line up?  Or describe him to an officer?”

 
  “Probably not.  It was dark outside and I couldn’t really see anything except that it looked like a person, a male.”

 
  “When we were doing our initial sweep of the perimeter of the house, we found a set of foot prints that were outside of one window and then seemed to lead to another.  It would seem you did have someone on your property.”

 
  Ella’s breath caught in her lungs.  She could feel the fear coursing through her body, but she needed to stay calm for Porter.  Her freaking out was not going to help him at all.

 
  “Maybe somebody was just lost,” she suggested.

 
  “Ma’am, lost people don’t loiter outside of private residences and look in windows.  Is there anyone you know of who would want to hurt or scare you?”

 
  “Kyle,” the name was out of Porter’s mouth before she even had a chance to put her thoughts together.  She looked up at him and couldn’t hide the shock from her face.

 
  “Why would Kyle do this?”

 
  “Why would Kyle shoot you?  Because he’s a crazy mother fucker with a death wish.”

 
  “Wait, who shot you?”  Officer Barrow looked confused.  Ella let out a breath.  She was tired of reliving everything that had happened to her.

 
  “A few months ago, I was in my store in Portland and a man came to the store front and shot me through the window.”

 
  “Was he apprehended?”

 
  “No, they never caught the man.”

 
  “And how does this Kyle fit into this.”

 
  “Hours before the shooting she had an altercation with her ex-boyfriend who assaulted her and attempted to rape her.”

 
  “Was he charged?”

 
  “No.  She went in a coma, then had amnesia, so she couldn’t make a statement about it.  He skipped town and she just regained her memory about a week ago.”   The officer looked at Ella, and pointed a finger in her direction.

 
  “You need to go to the Portland police station, file a report, press charges, and get an order of protection.  I don’t have any way of knowing who was outside your house tonight, but in my line of work there are no such things as coincidences.”

 
  “Fucking Kyle,” Porter said.

 
  “Is there anything else you need from me tonight, Officer?”  Ella asked, growing more and more weary of the way the whole situation with Kyle seemed to always come up and impact her life.

 
  “No, I will have patrol drive by your house a few times every night for the next few nights, just to keep an eye out.  If you hear or see anything suspicious, call 9-1-1 immediately.”

 
  “Thank you, Officer,” Ella said quietly.

 
  “Can I have a word with you?” Porter asked, looking at Officer Barrow.

 
  “Sure,” he answered and the two men stepped away from Ella, leaving her alone in the driveway. She wondered what Porter wanted to talk to the officer about, but felt he wanted space from her at the moment.  She wondered what it was he had to say that couldn’t be said in front her.  She walked back up the porch stairs and into the house, nodding at the two police officers leaving the living room and heading outside.  Once she was sure everyone was clear of the house, she went upstairs to the bedroom.  She saw her reflection in the mirror in Porter’s walk-in closet as she searched for something to wear to bed.  She stared at her face and realized she looked exhausted.  Everything was taking its toll on her and it showed.  She rubbed her hands over her face, trying to shake off some of the fear that had clung to her for the last hour.  Her apartment in Portland held terrifying memories, and now Porter’s house was tainted as well.  The move to Salem was looking better and better.

 
  She didn’t want to think about who was outside of Porter’s house, spying on her, scaring her.  She truly didn’t believe it was Kyle.  What motivation could he possibly have?  What was he gaining from all this?  Then again, who else could it be?  She didn’t know who shot her, but it wasn’t Kyle, of that she was sure.  She exhaled loudly and pulled out her favorite shirt of Porter’s to wear to bed.  The gray shirt with Lincoln City on the breast was soft from washing and smelled of wood, soap, and Porter.  She stripped down to her panties and pulled the shirt over her head.  She crawled in the king size bed and waited for him.

 
  A few minutes later she heard him come into the room and he paused at the doorway.  She rolled over in the bed to look at him and he looked just as wrecked as she had. 

 
  Without saying a word, he pulled his shirt over his head, took his shoes and pants off, leaving him in his boxers.  He pulled the comforter back a bit and climbed into the bed, reaching over to turn the lamp off on his bedside table, leaving them in the dark.

 
  She felt him move closer to her.  Once his hands found her, he pulled her gently over to him, cradling her against his chest.  She curled up into him, letting him hold her, taking everything from him he was offering.

 
  “What is going on inside that pretty head of yours?”  He whispered.  She exhaled, wanting to spew a thousand thoughts at him; there seemed to be so many things going on in her head she had no idea where to start.

 
  “Will things ever be normal for us, Porter?”  She mumbled into his chest.

 
  “What do you mean?”

 
  “Will we ever just get to be?  Will we ever just have a normal week where no one is shot?  Or loses their memory?  Or has to call the police to scare away an intruder?  All this stuff keeps happening, and only to me, and I don’t know why.  I was never this high maintenance before.  You should probably just give up on me now; I’m not worth the trouble.”

 
  “You think I’m going to leave you because of all this?”

 
  “No, I don’t think you’re going to leave me, but I think maybe you should.”

 
  “Explain that to me.”  She could hear the question in his voice.  He was confused and looking for clarification.

 
  “I’ve brought nothing but trouble to you, Porter.  You’ve wasted so many weeks with me not even remembering you.  Now I’ve brought some lunatic to your house looking for me.  Everything was so much simpler for you before I came along.  I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to go back to the way everything was before we met.”

 
  “I had nothing before you, Ella.  Nothing.  I was just living, day to day, surviving for nothing.  You brought light into my life.  Color.  Meaning.  I’m not living without you.  I couldn’t.  Are things complicated and crazy right now? Maybe, but
you’re
crazy if you think I’m going to just walk away from you.”  She felt his muscles tensing with his words.  She upset him.  “If you want out, just say the words, Ella.  I’ll let you go if it’s what you really want, but you have to say the words.”

 
  “You know I don’t want that,” she said desperately, not liking the direction the conversation was headed.

 
  “Damnit, Ella, I’m here.  I’m right here.  Don’t push me away after everything.  I can’t get any clearer with you, any more transparent.  I’m wide open to you.  I want to be with you forever.  What kind of man would I be if I promised you everything and then ran at the first problem or sign of trouble?  Have a little more faith in me than that, a little more faith in us.”

 
  “I’m sorry,” she whispered, aiming her face up at his, even though she couldn’t see him.  She felt his breath on her face and he was as close to her as one could be without kissing.  She ached for his lips to touch hers, for him to show her that even though she had brought turmoil into his life, he still wanted her, still desired her.

 
  He slowly ran his nose along the side of her face and then flipped his nose against the tip of hers.  She felt him smile, but he still didn’t kiss her.

 
  “Tell me you won’t run away from me,” he whispered against her lips, just barely touching.

 
  “I’m not sure I could leave, even if I tried,” she answered.

 
  “Tell me you won’t try.”

 
  “I won’t try.” 

 
  His lips slowly pressed into hers and she exhaled all the tension she’d built up over the night into this kiss.  It wasn’t rushed.  It wasn’t full of passion.  It was simply loving.  He caressed her mouth with his gently and gingerly, as if her were expressing with his lips how fragile he felt they were in that moment.  He simply kissed her, loved her.  She felt one of his hands rest on the curve of her waist, and she reached up and felt the stubble on his face.