Never Far Away (13 page)

 
  They were deep into the meal, enjoying casual conversation, her parents trying to get to know Porter a little better, when the conversation shifted back to Ella.

 
  “So, Ella, getting your memory back must have been a little strange.  Have you remembered anything surprising?”

 
  “Not really, but it definitely is strange.  I remember the robbery and the shooting, which is a little scary, but mostly I’m just remembering little things that might seem inconsequential to most, but it’s makes all the difference in the world to me now.”

 
  “Like what, Honey?”  Her father asked.

 
  “Well, for instance, before the robbery I had been thinking about expanding the store and opening a second location.”  She glanced over at Porter instinctually, looking for the support she knew he’d supply.  Of course he knew what she needed and laced his fingers with hers, squeezing her hand gently.

 
  “Well, that’s a wonderful idea, Ella.  You’re store does so well and you’re so good at what you do.  A second store would be a good investment,” her mother gave her a genuine smile.  “Would the second store be in Portland?  Oh!” Her mother was suddenly very excited.  “East side or West side?”

 
  “Well, actually,” Ella gave Porter another look, trying to absorb all the strength she could from him.  “I think I’m going to open a store in Salem.”

 
  “Salem?”  Her mother asked, confused.

 
  “Yes.  It’s a decent-sized city and I don’t want to be too close to the other store, otherwise I will drown the market.  I have to build them up separately to make sure they can survive independently of each other.”

 
  “But Salem is so far away,” her mother sounded honestly upset.

 
  “Susan, it’s only an hour,” her father added.  Ella gave him a grateful smile for his subtle show of support.

 
  “I was farther away when I was at college,” Ella stated.

 
  “But the plan was always for you to come back.  Why are you running away?”  Ella put her fork down on her plate and took in a deep breath, trying to calm the agitation that was threatening to take over.

 
  “Mom, I’m not running away.  I understand that this must be shocking for you, but you should try to be happy for me.  I’ve spent the last two months lost, roaming around without direction or purpose.  Now, I finally feel like I’m back to a place in my life where I can move forward.  I can’t open another store here, Mom.  It just wouldn’t be smart.  I don’t need you to like my decision, but it would be nice if I felt like I had your support.”  Her mother’s eyebrows were furrowed with worry and the lines around her eyes were deepening the longer she contemplated Ella’s plans.

 
  “What are you going to do down there all by yourself.  You’ll be lonely, Ella.”

 
  “I’ll be there with her,” Porter answered.  Ella’s chest filled with warmth knowing that he had taken it upon himself to break the news to her parents about their plans to live together.  She squeezed his hand and rubbed her thumb along the top of his knuckles, all of a sudden wishing they were by themselves and just spending time holding each other in bed, instead of being here with her parents.

 
  “Porter, that’s sweet of you, but what is Ella supposed to do when you’re at your house?  During the week when you’re not visiting?  She’s just gotten over a very traumatic event in her life.  I don’t think it’s a good idea to be so far away and all alone.”

 
  “Like I said, she won’t be alone.  We’re planning on living together in Salem.”

 
  Silence fell across the room and all Ella could hear was the ticking of the grandfather clock in the corner of the dining room.  Her parent’s eyes met across the table, again, conversing without words.  Her mother sighed heavily.

 
  “Porter,” her father began, “Ella has a broad and profound stubborn streak.”

 
  “Ah, yes, I’m aware,” Porter laughed lightly.

 
  “Once she puts her mind to something there is little to do to try and steer her in another direction.  We’ve learned that sometimes it is best to just let her go.”

 
  “I’m right here, Dad.  You don’t have to talk about me like I’m not in the room.”  His eyes darted over to her.  Ella had had enough of people pretending like she wasn’t around.  All through her recovery everyone was always walking on eggshells around her, talking about her as if she couldn’t speak for herself, or handle what they were going to say.

 
  “Ella, I’m not trying to offend you.  I’m just trying to explain to Porter how if someone was going to be with you in Salem we’re glad it’s him.”  Ella felt a smile pull at her lips.  “You don’t need our permission to move to Salem, or to live with Porter.  You’re a grown woman.  But we’re glad you’ve decided to do something to make yourself happy.”

 
  “I am happy.  Thank you for understanding.”

 
  “Sweetie, after everything you’ve been through, all we want is for you to be safe and healthy.  Salem isn’t that far away.  Plus, I think it would be fun to decorate a new house!” Her mother exclaimed.  Ella laughed.

 
  “Well, we can’t do too much decorating.  Nothing too extensive anyway.  We are going to rent a house for now until Porter can build us our own.”  Ella looked over at him and smiled.

 
  “Build you a house?  That sounds decidedly permanent,” her father said, sounding concerned.

 
  “Everything about Ella and me is permanent,” Porter said without even blinking, as if he were stating fact as sure as the earth revolving around the sun.

 
  “Well,” her mother stated after releasing a soft sigh, “If your father had said things like that a week after meeting me, I would have dropped everything and moved in with him too.”

 
  “Exactly,” Ella said, then leaned over and placed a small kiss on the corner of Porter’s mouth.  “Thank you,” she whispered in his ear.

 
  “Ok,” her father interrupted.  “Who wants dessert?”

Chapter Nine

Porter

   Porter and Ella were on their way back to her apartment when her phone rang.

 
  “It’s Megan,” Ella stated as she answered.  “Hey Megs, what’s up?”

 
  “Well,” Porter heard her voice through the speaker of Ella’s phone, “I was wondering if you and Kalli wanted to come with me tomorrow to look at a few wedding dresses.”

 
  “Of course I want to come and look at wedding dresses with you.  When and where?”

 
  “How would two work for you?”  Ella held her hand over the phone and whispered to him.

 
  “What time do you have to leave tomorrow?”

 
  “I will probably leave early in the morning to get to work by eight.”

 
  “Two is fine with me,” Ella said to Megan. “I’ll put some time in at the store, then when we’re done drooling over you in a wedding dress, I will just head out to Lincoln City.  Does two work for Kalli too?”

 
  “Yeah, she’s off tomorrow.”

 
  “Perfect.  Which shop?”

 
  “Bridal Bliss.  It’s downtown, on fifth.”

 
  “Great, I’ll be there.  I’m so excited to see you in a wedding dress Megs.”

 
  “I will be the most beautiful bride you’ve ever seen, obviously.”  She added with a laugh.

 
  “Obviously.”

 
  “Ok, please tell Porter I say hi and I will see you tomorrow.  Bye, Fella.”  Ella laughed and shook her head at her sister.

 
  “Bye, Megs.”

 
  “So, you’re going to come out to Lincoln City tomorrow?”  He asked her hopefully.

 
  “I thought that’s what we decided.  No more nights apart.  You’re here tonight, so it’s only fair I should go to you tomorrow.  Is that ok?”  She asked, suddenly sounding worried.

 
  “Babe, of course it’s ok.”  He took a deep breath in and let it out loudly.  “I guess I’m just still getting use to the idea that I get to spend every night with you,” he said as he took her hand.  His mind wandered back to the nights when he couldn’t even sleep in his own bed because thoughts of Ella made it impossible to get any rest.  There were days when he considered selling his house simply because the thought of walking in and knowing she wasn’t there was too distressing.  They pulled into her parking spot and when he turned off his truck he looked over at her.

 
  “Listen, I don’t want you to ever doubt that I want to be with you.  Don’t doubt that every night I want you next to me.”

 
  “I want that too, Babe.  So much.”

 
  He reached out and placed his hand behind her neck, pulling her into him.  His mouth took hers gently and he felt her sigh into him, her breath caressing his face.  How much longer could he have survived without her?  If he had never gone to see her would she have ever remembered?  The idea of not being in this exact moment with Ella caused a panic within him.  His panic manifested itself in the kiss and he found himself pulling her even closer.  She complied and crawled over his lap, straddling his thighs.  His hands grasped at her, threading themselves through her hair, sliding down her back to land on the roundness of her ass.

 
  “Do you have any idea how much I need you, Ella?  How much of my ability to breathe is dependent on knowing you’re safe and you’re mine?”  He looked into her eyes as he brought his hands to her face.

 
  “I love you with every small piece of my being, Porter.  I’m not me if I’m not with you.  That distinction was made clear as I waded through two months of wasted time, wondering what was missing.  But as much as I love you, and need you, my love for you will always be second best to the way you love me.”  She leaned down and kissed him.  He tried to return the kiss but was distracted by her words that echoed the letter she’d written him.  Suddenly the letter was red hot in his wallet, singeing him through his pocket.  He pulled away from her and grappled with his pants to get out his wallet, not an easy task with Ella sitting on his lap.  He finally managed to get ahold of his wallet and pull it out.  He opened it up and her letter was staring up at him from its designated spot, where it had been for nearly three months.  Ella saw it and reached in to take it.

 
  “Is this my letter?”  She said as she eyed it.  She gently opened up the envelope and pulled out the frail and worn paper, unfolding it as if it would turn to ash if she handled it too roughly.

 
  “Yes,” he answered around the lump forming in his throat.

 
  “It looks like it’s been read a lot.”

 
  “I read it every single day you were gone.”  He watched her open it up and saw her eyes track the words as she read.  His eyes never wavered from hers and he saw the tears begin to well up. Then he watched her push them back and take a deep breath.

 
  “I had forgotten all about this letter,” she whispered.

 
  “Understatement of the year, Babe” he laughed quietly.  She playfully slapped his chest.

 
“You know what I mean,” she smiled at him and caressed one of his cheeks with her hand.  Her touch was warm and soothing.  She always managed to give him exactly what he needed with her touch.  Whether he needed to be calmed, or wanted to be excited, hers was the only touch that had ever affected him that way.  “Why did you read it so many times?”

 
  “It was the only thing I had left of you.  Besides the memories that haunted me and my house that still smelled like you, it was the only way I could feel close to you.”  She held his eyes for a moment and then looked back down at the paper.

 
  “If I had known what was going to happen to me that night, I might have written this letter differently.”

 
  “What would you have changed?”  He asked, rubbing his hands up the outside of her thighs, up her waist, and back down again.

 
  “I probably would have told you not to let anyone keep us apart.  That I would be hurting just as badly as you were, perhaps just in a different way.”

 
  “Let’s just be sure that from here on out we remember what we went through and use it as a reminder.”

 
  “Ok, a reminder of what though?” 

 
  He reached up and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

 
  “A reminder that you and I should always stand firm that we know what’s best for us, and that we will always put each other first.  And that regardless of where one of us is, the other is never far away.  No matter what.”

 
  She smiled at his words and leaned down to kiss him, stopping just before her lips met his.

 
  “Sounds good to me,” the end of her sentence was mumbled against his lips as he pushed his mouth into hers.  He used his hands to pull on her hips and bring her body in closer to his, to feel her as close to him as possible.  He could never get enough of the staggering pleasure that feeling her body against his could bring.  Once he felt like the center of her body was sufficiently pressed against his own, his hands roamed her body again, seeking out the pieces of her that reacted to his touch.  His hands on her face, on her back, his lips on her neck.  If they hadn’t been in his truck in a parking lot, Porter would have found it hard at this point to keep Ella’s clothes on.  Instead, he let his hands wander just along the hem of her shirt, feeling her smooth skin against his rough fingers.

 
  She fisted his hair in her hands and he could feel her arousal start to grow, not only by the urgency in her hands, but the sexy sounds she made.  Light and gentle sighs and whimpers floated through the cab of his truck and he felt himself harden between his legs even as Ella used her core to grind down on him.  He hated to, but he pulled away.

 
  “Ella, let’s go upstairs,” he tried to say but she kept finding ways to kiss him through his words.

 
  “No,” she said quickly between pecks.

 
  “No?”

 
  “I’m fine right here,” she mumbled as her hands began to unbutton his jeans.  He quickly grabbed her hands to stop her and pinned her wrists behind her back.

 
  “Ella, this is not happening here.  We are not teenagers.  There’s a perfectly good room with four walls in your apartment.  Let’s go.”  Ella gave him a hard glare.

 
  “I remember a time when you nearly had me on a public beach.  In fact, I believe you
would have
had me if the rain hadn’t started.”  She leaned forward with her wrists still captured behind her back and her breasts pushed up against his chest, causing him to pull in a sharp breath.  Her lips found his ear and she rasped, “What’s the difference?”

 
  He growled and turned his head to nip at her throat, sucking and licking, drawing out more groans from Ella that had his blood running hot and thick through his veins.

 
  “This difference is that on the beach we were under the cover of blankets and it was deserted.  We are out in the open here and anyone could just walk out of their apartment.  I won’t have anyone but me see you turned on.”  He pulled on her wrists, causing her to sit up straight.  “Let me take you inside.  I want to be able to make love to you and it’s difficult in this truck.”  He let go of her hands, but only to lace his fingers through hers.

 
  “How is anyone supposed to argue with that?”  Ella smiled at him, and gave him a small kiss before climbing off of his lap.  The missing weight of her did not go unnoticed as his body ached for her to return.  He managed to get himself under control enough to walk her to her apartment.  He took the keys from her and opened the door.  They stepped inside and he dropped his small duffle bag on the floor in the hallway.  He had only been in her apartment once and it was before her memory had returned.  She wasn’t technically his then, so he was able to argue away the urge to remove Kyle’s pictures from her walls.  He stared at one now and as reasonable as he tried to remain, he couldn’t ignore the fact that he wanted the pictures gone.

 
  Ella followed his eyes she walked to the picture.

 
  “After all the years we spent together and everything we had been through, I never would have imagined that he could have put his hands on me the way he did that night.”  She reached up, took the frame off the wall, and studied it for a moment.  “How could I have been with someone like him?  How did I not see him for who he really was?”

 
  Porter came to stand behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders.

 
  “People like Kyle do a good job of hiding who they really are, Ella.  You saw what he wanted you to see.”

 
  “People like him?”  She asked.  “What kind of person was he?”

 
     “A sociopath with a death wish,” Porter said through gritted teeth.

 
  Ella turned and went into the kitchen, coming back a few seconds later with a big trash bag.  She threw the picture in the bag and then continued down the hall tossing every other frame with a picture of him in the bag as well.  She moved quickly and her breathing was frantic.  Porter began to see the panic come over her.  He went to stop her and pull her into his arms.

 
  “Babe, stop.  You don’t have to do this now.  Please, I’ll do it for you, just calm down.”

 
  “I need to get him out of this house, Porter.”  Her hands came up to cover her face and she breathed rapidly now.  “Everything is returning, all the memories.”  She buried her face in his chest and he smoothed his hand down her back, trying to help calm her.  “Being with you is wonderful because we have beautiful memories, even though they are few.  I am in a haze of happiness with you, Porter.  But when I go back to my old life, the store, and now my own house, all the bad memories come back.  I shouldn’t have to be afraid of my own life,” she cried.

 
  “You’re right, Ella,” he said as he used his hands to pull her face level with his so she could see how serious he was.  “You shouldn’t have to deal with any of this, but you are.  You’re doing just fine.  You just have to feel it all and deal with it as it comes.  I’ll be here the whole way and we’ll get you in to talk to someone.  But hear me when I say that I will never let him hurt you again, Ella.  Never.  You need to let that part of your fear go and give it all to me.  Let me worry about that and you just let the fear go.”

 
  “Porter,” she said, holding back tears, running her hand down his cheek.  “Kyle held me up against that door behind you and tried to rape me.”  Porter turned to stone at her words.  He knew something else had happened between them before she was shot, but had never gotten the opportunity to talk to her about it.  If he had known the whole story, he surely would have killed Kyle at the hospital when he had the chance.  His fists clenched at his sides and he tried not to let himself picture what she must have gone through.