No Matter What (133 page)

JJ watched as she hugged him.
 
He knew their close friendship had hit a stumbling block since he’d come on the scene and he also knew they needed to get that back on track.
 
Was he jealous?
 
A little bit.
 
Kenny Ross had been in her life for eighteen years and that was one hell of a long time to be close to someone.
 
They’d had a life together.
 
They had history.
 
JJ had been with
India
for just over two years and in comparison that was nothing.
 
But he knew they had a future, him and
India
.
 
He knew that, he felt that.
 
They had Ellie, they had something strong and secure and he was going to make sure nothing got in the way of that.
 
But she needed Kenny.
 
He could see that, and if that made her happy then JJ wasn’t going to stand in their way.

“Hey, you look amazing!” Kenny smiled, picking her up and swinging her round, kissing her quickly.
 
And she did look amazing, even though she was only wearing skinny jeans and a tight fitting AC/DC t-shirt, the biker boots she’d worn all her life still very much there, a black bandana covering her blonde hair.
 
She was never going to let go of that rock chick style she’d always had and it still suited her so well.

He looked over at JJ.
 
“Are you ready for this to be out in the open then?”
 

JJ smiled, sticking his hands in his pockets.
 
“Who wouldn’t want everyone to know I’ve just married one of the most beautiful women in the world?”

Kenny just smiled back as
India
slipped her arm around her new husband’s waist, leaning in against him, her head on his shoulder.

“Joe’s going to join me for the latter part of the interview,” she said, as JJ put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer.
 
“I want us to be together when we tell everyone.”
 
She looked up at her handsome husband and he kissed her quickly.

Kenny turned away and went over to the sofas, sitting down, looking up at the TV screen.
 
JJ was good for her; he could see that, any idiot could.
 
But it was never going to stop hurting whenever he saw her so in love.
 
With somebody else.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake, I knew I should have got here earlier,” Bobby sighed, bursting into the room as JJ and
India
continued to kiss, not caring who was around. “Come on, break it up you two.
 
Enough of that.
 
There’s a time and a place and I think you’ll find there are no private rooms for hire here.”

India
pulled away from JJ and smiled at him, giggling as he mouthed something extremely rude at her.

Bobby looked at him.
 
“I caught that, young man.”
 
He turned his attention back to
India
.
 
“You’re due in make-up now so come on, move that pretty little ass of yours, princess, and let’s get going.”
 
He looked at JJ and smiled, and JJ couldn’t help laughing.

“They’ll be coming to get you for make-up too in a minute, so play nicely while we’re away, ok?”

And with a wink at Kenny, he took
India
’s hand and led her out of the room.

JJ sat down next to Kenny, leaning forward, clasping his hands between his open knees.
 
“You love her, don’t you?”

Kenny looked at JJ, slightly taken aback by that question.
 
“What do you want me to say to that, JJ?
 
Yeah, I love her.
 
Of course I love her.
 
But I’m her friend, that’s all.
 
So you’ve no need to worry.”

“I’m not worried.
 
I just want you to know that she was lost without you, that’s all.
 
These last couple of years, they’ve been hard for her without you around so much.
 
She didn’t say anything, not to me anyway, but I knew she was lost.
 
And I don’t want her to feel like that again, not ever.”

“Neither do I.”

JJ looked straight ahead of him.
 
“Good.
 
Then that’s something we both agree on.”
 
He looked at Kenny.
 
Right into his eyes.
 
“Isn’t it?”

***

Michael sat at the table and read through the last of the notes he’d written before slipping them back inside the folder and putting them into his briefcase.
 
It was all set, everything was now in place, things were ready to start moving and, despite the set backs, he was certain it was all going to go smoothly.
 
Once people got over the shock.

His ‘phone started ringing and he picked it up, instantly recognising the voice on the other end of the line and wishing he’d just ignored the call.
 
He didn’t need to speak to her.
 
Not now, not tonight.
 
Not when he was so close.

“Layla, how are you?”

“Are you alright?
 
You sound a bit distant.”

“I’m just very busy.”

“On a Saturday evening?”

“Yes, on a Saturday evening.
 
I don’t exactly live in a nine-to-five Monday to Friday kind of world, honey.”

“Ok, ok.
 
I was only asking.”

He sighed, sitting back in his chair, closing his eyes and rubbing the bridge of his nose.
 
“I know, I’m sorry.
 
I’m just tired.
 
Is everything ok with you?”

“Fine.
 
Just missing you, that’s all.
 
Are you missing me?”

He wished he could say that he missed her too but he wasn’t in the mood for lying, so he just side-stepped the question.

“How’s work going?” he asked her.
 
She had a supporting role in a new movie shooting in
Texas
, and from what he could gather she was doing alright.

“It’s fine.
 
Everything’s fine.
 
I just can’t believe you’re going to be away for so long and I can’t even come and join you.”

Michael was actually relieved about that but he couldn’t tell her that, could he?
 
He couldn’t tell her that he was glad she was so far away because he had so many other things to concentrate on.
 
She would only get in the way, as awful and unfair as that sounded, but it was the truth.
 
He couldn’t afford to have her around right now.

He looked at his watch.
 
“Look, Layla, I have to go, honey.
 
I really have to go.”

“Oh.
 
Ok.”

He sensed the disappointment in her voice and it wasn’t something he enjoyed because none of this was her fault.
 
It was just something he had to do.

“I love you, Michael.
 
I miss you and I love you.”

He closed his eyes again and sat forward, wishing he could say the words she wanted to hear but he couldn’t.
 
He just couldn’t.

“I know, Layla.
 
I know.”

As he ended the call he knew he’d been right not to lie to her, not to give her any false hope or expectations.
 
He was doing the right thing, for everybody.
 
He was doing the right thing.
 
Of that he was certain.

***

India
hovered around the table containing the coffee, bowls of fruit and an array of sweets and biscuits she hadn’t seen in a long time.
 
She knew that Ethan would have loved it here, looking at all the chocolates and candy bars.
 

She turned around and caught JJ’s eye.
 
He was sitting on the sofa talking to Kenny whilst she and Bobby were working out whether or not they were hungry.
 
She had a slight attack of the nerves again so didn’t really think she could keep anything down whilst Bobby, on the other hand, was on a diet.
 
He was trying to slim down for his impending civil partnership ceremony to Miguel.
 
They were planning on getting married as soon as
India
had finished filming and she was more excited than Bobby was.
 
He just wanted to look fabulous.

“You look nervous again,” Bobby said, reaching out to take her hand, giving it a squeeze.
 
“Are you ok?”

She smiled at him.
 
“Yeah.
 
I’m fine.”

“Liar.”

She smiled again.
 
“Ok.
 
I’m nervous.”
 
She looked over at JJ again.
 
He was deep in conversation with Kenny now and she just wished they were alone.
 
Back in the hotel, back in
Australia
, back in
L.A.
, anywhere, as long as they were alone.
 
She really didn’t feel much like doing this anymore.

“You want to be back in honeymoon heaven, don’t you, angel?”

She looked at Bobby.
 
“Yeah.
 
I do.
 
I miss being on my own with him, Bobby.
 
I’m a bit selfish like that.”

“Yeah, well, who can blame you?
 
If I had a man like that
I
wouldn’t be all that keen on sharing him either.”

She sighed, leaning back against the wall.
 
“I could really do with him right now, Bobby.
 
Sex always calms my nerves.”

Bobby looked at her.
 
“I don’t know why you can’t just take a valium like everyone else.”

She laughed.
 
“Not half as much fun.”

“I don’t want to know, angel.
 
I’m getting too old for this.
 
I’m off to see what’s happening.”

She couldn’t help laughing as she watched him flounce off to talk to someone in the corner of the room.
 
He was such an important part of her life was Bobby Castle and without him she’d fall apart.
 
She knew that now.
 
He held her together, he kept her sane, and she loved him.

He came back over to her with his “let’s get professional” look on his face.

“Get those thoughts out of your head now, princess, and start concentrating.
 
It’s almost time to get out there so you need to get your head straight, come on.
 
Go and say whatever kind of goodbye it is you want to say to Mr Handsome over there because him and Kenny are going now.
 
You’ve got to wait in here until somebody comes to get you.
 
Go on, go.
 
Go and give him something else to think about then hand him over.”

She kissed him on the cheek and ran over to JJ, sitting beside him on the sofa, kissing him slowly.
 
“You’ve got to go now, baby.”

He kissed her back, his hand sliding a tiny way up under her t-shirt and she shivered as his fingers stroked her skin.
 

“It’s gonna be ok,” he smiled.
 
“You’re gonna be amazing, I know you are. And remember, I’ll be with you when we tell them.
 
I’ll be there.”
 
He kissed the tip of her nose, then her mouth, pulling her against him as she returned the kiss.
 
“I love you, Mrs Foster,” he whispered.

She smiled, stroking his cheek with her fingertips.
 
“I love you too, handsome.”

She stood up and straightened her t-shirt, turning to look at Kenny.

“You know they’re going to ask all sorts about us, don’t you?”

He nodded.
 
“I know.”

“And you don’t mind?”

He shook his head.
 
“What’s there to mind?
 
We’re friends, and I love you.
 
There’s no secret about that.”

She smiled at him.
 
“No.
 
I don’t suppose there is.”

He gave her a hug and she held onto him tightly, the feel of him so familiar and warm and comfortable.
 
Eighteen years of friendship wrapped up in an embrace.

But she had to let him go, and she watched as Bobby ushered him and JJ out of the room, leaving her on her own.
 
Well, not on her own exactly.
 
The green room was still full of people but nobody she knew, not personally anyway.
 
They were faces she’d seen on the TV or whose music she’d listened to and they all wanted to talk to her, of course they did, but she wasn’t really in the mood for small talk.
 
She needed to get her head together for what was about to happen.
 
She needed to make sure she was ready.