Private Emotions – Appointments (The Private Emotions Trilogy) (5 page)

“I guess I learned that you have to be open with your partner and let them know what you like in the bedroom.” The look that I received was one of a quizzical nature that made me feel I hadn’t given her the correct response.

“Okay, Ronnie, I know that look. What answer were you expecting?”

“Well, that certainly is one of the things that make a good marriage but I think you missed the picture just a little bit. You are right that a woman and man should be able to talk to each other but you also have to realize that sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands. As you saw last night, I could have easily given in and let Mark have his way with me, but instead I showed him that he had to please me first. In that way we were both getting what we wanted...more pleasure. I think that you need to see us one more time but this time you’ll actually be in the room with us.” I was shocked and relieved at the same time. She had just saved me the embarrassment of asking her to experience a repeat performance, but I just couldn’t see myself doing this with Mark knowing that I was there.

“Are you insane!? Mark would see my reaction! I would be mortified!”

Ronnie sighed as she confessed, “I can see that you are unconvinced but maybe the fact that Mark knew you were there the whole time will convince you.” There were no words I could say that would convey just what I was feeling and I guess betrayal would be one way to describe it. However, in the back of my mind I knew that she was just doing what she could to help. “Come on, it’s not like I’m asking you to have a threesome. Unleeessss you want to then I could...”

“That’s not even funny, Ronnie, so wipe that grin off your face.” I knew that she was teasing but I did not want to leave anything to chance in the event she was even remotely serious.

“Okay, okay, but you might as well get some first-hand experience. This way Mark and I can answer any questions that you have as this experiment is going on.”

“As this experiment is going on? So is this going to turn into an instructional video?” In a voice that mimicked the automated announcements at train stations and with a blank facial expression, I said to her, “Emily. This is a penis. It is the male part. It goes in this hole here. This hole is called a vagina. The vagina is the female part. Any questions before we continue?” Then in my normal voice, I eloquently added, “What the fuck, Ronnie!”

She burst out laughing. “You are such a drama queen sometimes. No, I promise that it will not be like that, you know me well enough now. So will you come?”

This offer went against everything inside me but I could not help wanting to find that secret ingredient I felt was missing inside me. Ronnie had opened a door and I stepped through it, now I felt as if there was only one direction to move...forward.

“I wish that I could say no but something inside of me is pressing me to go along with this. I’ll be there at the same time that I was last night and hopefully I’ll be going away from it with a better understanding of what to look for in a sexual experience.”

“It’s not about what to look for, Emily, but what to feel. Remember, the harder you look for a feeling, the more it eludes you. Feelings are just that...you feel them.”

“Have you ladies decided what you would like from the menu or would you like me to give you a few more minutes?” He politely asked as he put each of our coffees on the table.

Ronnie responded, “Can you give us a few more minutes please?”

“Of course, just let me know when you are ready to order.”

“Maybe we should have a look at the menu. It’s always difficult to decide what to have here because everything looks so good. Ah, I know, I will go for the Meeaatt Baallllss sandwich. Oh wait, maybe not, I will be having lots of that tonight anyway.” She looked up at me to see my reaction but I did not entertain her.

“Well, I am going to have the tuna melt.” I declared to her rather bluntly.

“Yeah, that does look good. I think that I will have the same, oh and the small pasta pot on the side.”

“Goodness, Ronnie, you know that their portions are massive. Where are you going to put it all?”

“I need to make sure that I have enough energy for ...”

“Are you ready to order, ladies?”

“YES!” Okay, that may have come out a bit too forcefully. “Two tuna melts and one small pasta pot on the side, please.”

“Great, I will leave one menu in case you decide to have some desert later.”

We continued to chat about other areas of our lives until our order came. As usual, Teatotal never disappointed. The sandwiches were just what the doctor ordered. We ordered another round of coffee and continued to chat away the early afternoon hours.

“Well, Em, I would love to stay longer but I must dash off now as I need to join Mark and his business friend for a short while before we head back to the suite.”

“Sure thing Ronnie, have a good time and I will see you at 10 PM.”

I gave my best friend a big hug that was more like a, ‘thank you’, than a, ‘see you later’, type of hug. She must have felt the difference because she reciprocated with a, ‘you are welcome’, hug in return.

This time, when I got to the door it was already open and all I had to do was walk in. What greeted my eyes were both Mark and Ronnie completely clothed and standing to welcome me. They both took one hand each and pulled me into the bedroom where I found a chair near the bed waiting for me.

Mark said, “I have to tell you that it was a little hot knowing that you were there last night but I think it’s better that you be right here in the thick of the action. The first thing I’ve learned is that a woman doesn’t want to just be taken to bed. It’s more of a ritual that involves a lot of foreplay first. Let me demonstrate.” He took a hold of the first button on her dress and slowly and meticulously began to remove that item of clothing. There was no rush and he was taking his time to allow the anticipation to build. This made Ronnie watch him intently as she let the dress drop to her feet.

Not to be outdone, Ronnie had taken the opportunity to relieve him of his pants and underwear. Now that they were both as naked as jaybird’s, I watched him lick and lightly bite the side of her neck then his lips enveloped her left ear making her gasp in surprise.

“Ronnie, I love you and I want to show you every day for as long as we live.” His hands came down under her and he lifted her into the air. He placed her on the bed and kissed her with a passion that I’ve rarely seen. Their hands were all over each other and it was like they didn’t even remember that I was in the room. I was sitting on the edge of my seat with my eyes cast upon them, as he lifted her legs over his shoulders and brought his mouth to bear on top of her. His fingers were digging into her skin and he was holding her down as he orally satisfied her. I did notice that he was watching her reaction to what he was doing and was performing accordingly. Her butt came off the bed and she began to fuck his face, while she screamed into a pillow that she was pressing onto her face.

I bent my head slightly downward. I felt a little embarrassed by what I was witnessing but I could not deny the pounding in my heart.

“Cum for me, my sweet, cum all over my face.” He returned to what he was doing and she couldn’t keep still as she writhed and twisted her frame all over the bed in orgasmic bliss. Before she had the chance to come back down from the high that she was on, he had positioned himself between her legs with his dripping head about to take her.

Her eyes came open and she said, “That was amazing, now give me that hard cock and pound me into the bed.” Her words only fueled him and he began to make that bed rock with their motions. He was taking the time to kiss her and to move his hand in her hair, as his ass became a blur in my vision. “Yes, deeper, harder, faster...” Finally, he pulled out just as he was about to cum and with his hand around his girth, Ronnie jumped into action and descended on him just as he let go. She swallowed the whole thing and even licked her lips long after it was all gone.

They lay there and then they suddenly remembered that I was present and looked over at me with a smile on their faces. If they had a cigarette nearby, I was sure the both of them would’ve been smoking it by now. The heat in the room had risen almost ten degrees since they had first started and now they were curled around each other, with Ronnie’s leg draped over his body.

Ronnie was the first to speak and said, “I do believe that you might just be getting what I’m trying to impart on you. You have seen that sex doesn’t have to be like in the movies because you can bring other facets to the table along with love.”

“Okay, I get it and from now on I’ll know what to look for and what to do when I find it.” I was anxious to get out of the room for some reason. I felt like I could not breathe and just needed to leave.

Ronnie heard the discomfort in my voice and turned to Mark, “Honey, why don’t you run us a bath while I walk Emily to the door.”

“Sure, see you soon, Emily.”

Ronnie walked me to the front door of the hotel suite. “What’s the matter?”

“I thought that the feelings I felt the first time were not entirely real, because it was my first time. Now I know that they are real. Ronnie, I could never be so liberal like that in the bedroom with my words, far less my actions. I would love to be like that and maybe that’s a part of the reason why my relationships didn’t last, but that in there is just not me.”

“Em, not too long ago Mark and I couldn’t do that either, but remember, I said that we had guidance?”

“Yes, you did mention it at the coffee shop.”

“Well, I’m going to give you this number to call and you can talk over your concerns with her. Susan Templer, is a therapist that we used to get our marriage on the right track and if anyone can help you, I am sure that she can.” I looked down at the number that she gave to me and began to contemplate that maybe the next step would have to be therapy. I did not think that I had a problem but it probably made sense to discuss my concerns with an objective professional. Ronnie and Mark had opened my eyes to what I had been missing and what I wanted to experience in my next relationship. Now, it was just a matter of following the journey that they had started me on. “I want you to find some way of letting yourself go and I believe that you will find something amazing when you do.”

The very thought of opening that part of me was sending a moment of dread through my entire body. “Intimacy is not supposed to be difficult so why does it feel like I am forever climbing uphill?”

“Perhaps it is because you are on the wrong side of the hill.” Her voice softened and I could hear the concern in her tone. “Trust me, Em, Susan is amazing. You should call her. I promise that I will keep in touch okay?”

“Sure.”

“Now give me a hug and have a safe journey home.”

I sat silently in the taxi all the way home. I did not feel the need to see Ronnie and Mark in that way again. I knew that my feelings were right after my first glance of them tonight. I realized that I had only two options; call Susan Templer, or abandon ship. The latter would mean accepting my life as it is now. That meant one thing, the shittier option of the two. I had crossed a threshold that made Susan look more tempting by the minute.

I spent half the night staring at the ceiling and listing in my mind all the reasons to call or not to call Susan. Why should I call? There was nothing wrong with me except perhaps a lack of sexual experience, not always completely in tune with my feelings, a bit insecure, slightly stubborn, a tiny more direct than most, a tendency of being a workaholic and don’t really like apple pie, but other than that I was amazing... “Sigh.” This was going to be a long night. “Fuck.”