Private Emotions – Appointments (The Private Emotions Trilogy) (10 page)

I got home and pondered on yet another test given to me to help with my expansion experiment. I was starting to feel restless about everything, almost to the point of being resentful before remembering the alternative. A life that I did not want for myself was waiting on the other side and that would be exactly what I would live if I didn’t at least try.

According to the famous quote by Thomas Jefferson,
‘If you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do something you’ve never done.’
So I guess this would count as something that I’ve never done. I wondered though, would that guarantee that I would get something that I’ve never had? The burning question then would be...would I like what I got?

I got dressed and headed to the location where meeting men at whiplash speed was supposed to take place. Speed dating wasn’t exactly my forte and I got the feeling that desperation was lingering in the air like a dark cloud. It just seemed to me that everyone was trying to grasp onto someone so they wouldn’t be alone anymore. Most of these men probably still lived with their mother, or from the way they dressed, had no job to speak of. I sat down and took out a list of questions that I had prepared ahead of time just so I could weed out the undesirables as quick as possible.

“Sooo, you just got out of jail and are now looking for a sugar mama.” This man was everything that was wrong with society and made me cringe to even think about spending one more second in his company. We made small talk for the next three minutes and then the bell rang and somebody else was now sitting at my table. Thank god.

“Perhaps your theory is possible but I just don’t get how all the sea water in the world will eventually become fresh water and kill all of the marine life as we know it.”

I must have done something wrong in my childhood because this was absolute torture. Aren’t there any normal men here tonight? At that moment the bell rang for another change.

Over the course of the next two hours a line of men came into my life and then right back out of it again. They were starting to look like a blur of faces that had no place with me, that was, until this very charming man sat down with a dejected look on his face.

“Good lord, are you getting as bored with this as I am?”

“Now that you mention it, I could really use a cup of coffee somewhere that all these men are not.”

“Who says that we have to stay until the end? Why don’t we get out of here and go somewhere and see if there’s anything that we have in common. I know personally that I just can’t take any more of this and if having coffee with you is only about two people getting to know each other, then I can live with that.” He wasn’t especially handsome but he had a cute quality that had me accepting his invitation for coffee. He was the only man that I had met so far who I found even a little bit appealing.

“I have no other intentions, other than to get to know you better and away from all this. You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders and if you don’t mind me saying, I find you very attractive.” His honesty was a change of pace from all the other ones that were trying to impress me with how much money they had in the bank or what they did for a living. How many times did a girl have to listen to someone talk about their finances or the fact that they had a fancy car? For me, these things had little meaning, except to say that they were trying to compensate for something else that they didn’t have. “My name is Carl Young and I am not married, or have any kids, or involved with anyone at the moment. My work as a pilot takes me all over the world and I really do have the time to just sit down and get to know a woman.”

“I also work very hard but my job isn’t as glamorous as yours. I am just a seamstress for an up and coming designer, so I guess you can say that I make my money on the backs of others.” His laugh was infectious and we both strolled out of there with smiles on our faces. “There’s a coffee shop right around the corner but there is also a bar called, Woody’s Tavern, that makes the best appletinis around.” That was a split second decision on my part but I knew that Barry would be working this evening and maybe I could use him as a buffer. Carl accepted my invitation to go to Woody’s, so we took separate cars and were going to meet there.

He must’ve had a hard time finding the place because I got there first and was able to fill in my friend, Barry, on the speed-dating thing and on meeting a guy.

“Barry, could you use your instincts as a man to hopefully get a read on this guy?”

“I’m not sure how much help I am going to be but I know that Maria has a better feel for these things than I do. I’ll give her a call and see if she’s willing to come out and use her special super human powers. I don’t think she’ll have a problem doing it, considering the fact that it will prove to her that there is nothing going on between you and me.” I could use all the help I could get and if Maria had this special power then I was going to take advantage of it. It was just about that time that Carl walked in carrying his suit jacket over his right shoulder. It gave him a nonchalant look and a casualness that I found disarming.

We got a seat near the bar so that Barry could hear exactly what was going on and give his two cents’ worth. “So, tell me about life in the open skies.”

“Not much to tell, I used to get a thrill doing it but with most things, if you do it long enough then it becomes monotonous. However, that is the exact opposite of sex, as I find that a little variety in the bedroom can spice things up.” Carl was definitely flirting with me but wasn’t being overly amorous or trying to make a move. It was like he actually enjoyed talking to me just for the sake of getting to know me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Maria walk in and took a seat on the bar stool exactly behind us. It was nice to have some backup in case things didn’t go according to plan.

We talked for some time and I made sure that I wasn’t drinking too much, instead I nursed two drinks the entire evening. He wasn’t exactly a lightweight in this department and had downed at least ten beers before the midnight hour. Even though he had been drinking a little too much for my taste, it didn’t seem to affect him in any way and he was able to handle his liquor better than most people I knew.

I excused myself from the table and I motioned with my eyes to Maria to follow me to the bathroom.

Maria stood beside me at the counter and said, “Looks like you might have found one of the good ones as my radar for jerks isn’t going off. Not to say that he couldn’t be playing a game but as far as I can tell, I don’t see any kind of deceit coming from him. Still do be careful though. You have only just met him and his mask could be fully functional, if you know what I mean.”

“Yes, I do and that’s good to know. I’m glad that you came out to lend me some support, Maria, I appreciate it. I’m not exactly a good judge of character when it comes to the opposite sex and I end up having a three-month relationship that usually goes nowhere.” We exchanged knowing glances like we both knew that side of the male populace.

When I returned to the table, he said, “It’s getting kind of late and I have an early flight in the morning, so maybe we should call this a night and I can give you a call sometime. I don’t know exactly when I’ll be back because it looks like I will be overseas for the next month or so. Don’t worry, I have every intention of getting in touch with you when I get back. I had a wonderful evening getting to know you.” I couldn’t agree with him more and then he escorted me to my car and kissed me goodnight. He was a good kisser and he left me wanting more. Despite only just meeting Carl, I decided to take the plunge to get to know him more intimately. I thought that it may have been too early in the game to get intimate but if it was going to be over a month before I saw him again, then now was as good a time as any.

“I don’t suppose you want to come home with me and we can continue this where we left off?”

“I don’t know if that would be the right thing to do but I am a man and how can I say no to a beautiful girl?” He followed me in his car to my apartment and we went in and had a couple more glasses of wine to end the evening. He started to massage my shoulders and then his hands began to move lower until he was palming my breasts like basketballs. This would be the litmus test to see if I could find the same pleasure from a ‘normal man’, instead of a professional escort.

“Wow, this is so fucking hot.” Those same hands began to relieve me of my white blouse and then my bra was gone before I knew it. His fingers began to play with my nipples but it didn’t feel the same way as when the escorts did it, instead it felt more like someone trying to tune a radio. Maybe he really was flying those planes too long after all. It wasn’t at all pleasurable for me and I actually had to bite my tongue from the discomfort of what he was doing. He seemed to be having the time of his life mauling me. His breathing was coming in gasps and then he had me naked with my legs spread on the sofa. I was waiting for him to descend on me and was surprised by the way he just unveiled his package and pushed into me without trying at all to warm the engine up first.

Knowing that he was just trying to get his own, I made every effort to get him there quickly and out the door. I used the muscle from inside me to make him get to the top of his climb in record time. He pulled out before he came and unloaded his masculinity onto my stomach. He then dressed as quick as possible, gave me a kiss on the cheek and hurried out the door. This was not at all what I was expecting and I had gotten nothing from the experience other than total disappointment.

Over the course of the night, I had taken two other numbers, although they didn’t seem any more bedroom smart than Carl was. I remembered the advice that my mother gave to me when I was a kid and decided not to judge the book by its cover. I was going to give one of these guys a chance to get to know me. It was just a matter of figuring out which one was the best fit for me, or at the very least, shared something in common. The responses to my list of questions from each individual was safely tucked into my purse and from that I would determine who I was going to date next.

I took a shower to wash away the aftermath of the night with Carl and crawled into bed hopeful that now things could only go in one direction and that was...UP.

Frank Erickson was a little surprised to hear from me, although that didn’t sway him from picking me up from my apartment. One strike against him was the fact that he didn’t come to my door and instead waited in the car down at the curb. Frank didn’t even make an effort to get out and open the door for me and instead threw it open from inside the car. This was definitely not going in the right direction and I felt another dismal evening approaching.