Ravensong (38 page)

“
What do you mean?” asked
James, holding Joshua’s gaze. Something was worrying him about his
brother and it wasn’t just the strange women.

“
Here, this is just a
sample, but we’ll clean it up before it goes on the CD.”

James was distracted by the tinny,
fuzzy sound that came over the speakers. They’d even pitched
Joshua’s voice higher, smoothing out the raspy blues quality he
could affect so well.

Joshua threw off his headset and came
to his feet. “What the hell is that?” he demanded, rounding on his
brother. “That isn’t our sound. That isn’t even my
voice.”

James could only shake his head in
dismay. He didn’t know what more to say.

“
Is there a problem?” came
the voice through the headset.

“
Yeah, that isn’t
us.”

“
It is – we’ve just made it
commercial. The harmony will be even better with eight voices
instead of four.”

“
How are we going to play
that in concert?” said James. He could see the other two band
members were as upset as Joshua.

“
We’ll worry about the
concert later. Right now we’re just trying to sell the
CD.”

James shrugged at Joshua. “They say
it’s more commercial.”

Joshua’s eyes widened and James
noticed they were bloodshot. “Commercial? What the hell does that
mean?”

“
Just a minute, Josh,”
James placated.

“
No! Forget it. Tell them
to go to hell. They’re not using my music like this. Screw
them!”

“
Is there a problem, James?
We need to get going on the next song…”

“
Just a minute,” said
James, rising to his feet and holding up a hand to stop his
brother’s pacing. “Josh, they want to start the next
song.”

Joshua whirled on him and James never
remembered seeing his face contort in such rage. “No! I won’t do
another song for these bastards. Tell them to f…”

“
Josh!” shouted
James.

“
You’d better get control
of him, James. He doesn’t have a choice. We have a contract,” came
the voice in the headset.

“
I’m trying,” James shouted
at the window. He reached for his brother. “Josh, calm
down!”

Joshua flinched and yanked out of his
hold. “I’m done,” he said and turned on his heel, storming for the
door.

“
James, this is a lawsuit
waiting to happen,” warned the voice.

James stared at the door, but he knew
Joshua well enough to know he wasn’t coming back. When he made a
decision, it was final and nothing changed his mind. The music was
sacred to Joshua, and no amount of money or threat was going to
make him change that belief.

James turned and looked at Evan. Evan
settled his bass on the stand and draped an arm over his thigh.
“You know Josh is right, James. They butchered our song. Is the
money worth that? Shit, they made your brother sound like a
eunuch.”

James pulled off the headset. “They
say they’ll sue.”

“
Let them. We ain’t got
nothing and if we don’t give them any more of our songs, neither do
they. They’re already into this so far, I don’t think they want to
pull out now. Call their bluff.”

“
You sure?”

Evan nodded. James turned to the
drummer. Ben also gave him a nod. James could feel his dream
falling apart, but they were right. If that sound was commercial,
he didn’t want any part of it.

Looking at the window, he said, “We
quit.”

* * *

Banging woke Joshua later that
afternoon. He groaned and rolled out of bed, but his body still
felt blessedly numb. Too bad he was so sleepy lately that he slept
away most of his high.

He pulled open the door and looked
out. James was standing there, but his smile dried to a look of
concern.

“
Are you sick?”

“
Sick of you waking me up
all the time. What is it?”

James lifted an eyebrow at his surly
tone, but Joshua didn’t have the energy to amend it.

“
The studio just
called.”

Joshua sighed, then moved back,
opening the door so his brother could enter. He was glad he’d
remembered to lay down fully clothed this time. James strolled into
the room and looked around, as if he half expected to see a woman.
Joshua dropped into the armchair beside the dresser and blinked up
at his brother sleepily.

James turned to face him. “They want
us to come down.”

“
No,” said
Joshua.

James hunkered down in front of him.
His smile stretched across his whole face. “Really, when they’ve
agreed to do everything your way?”

Joshua studied his brother’s
expression. He didn’t really care about this deal, but it meant the
world to his brother. With a weary exhalation, Joshua capitulated.
“That’s what they said?”

“
More. They put it in
writing.” James removed a fax from his pocket and held it
out.

Joshua knew his vision was too blurry
to read it. “Just tell me what it says.”

“
You have full creative
control, little brother. You and no one else.”

Joshua looked away. He was so damn
tired. He didn’t want to go back into that studio, but he couldn’t
deny that the chance to lay down the tracks his way was
intoxicating.

“
Fine, but if they change
one thing…”

“
All right, all right,”
said James, holding up a hand. “Not one thing.”

* * *

“
That’s a wrap,” came the
voice in the headset.

James set down the guitar and turned
to smile at Evan. The bassist smiled back, but his eyes shifted to
Joshua.

“
You’re a royal pain in the
ass, Ravensong,” came the voice again, “but you’re also freakin’
brilliant.”

Joshua exhaled and removed his own
headset, draping it over the microphone stand. He climbed off the
stool, his arm wrapped around his ribs, and shot a look at his
brother.

“
I’m going back to the
hotel.”

James’ smile dried. “Okay. You got the
flu or something?”

Joshua’s eyes drifted to Evan, then
back. “Probably. I just need some sleep.”

James nodded, but a knot was forming
in his throat. Joshua had belted out the songs with such energy and
feeling that James hadn’t realized how sick he looked or how pale
his skin was.

He watched him walk out the door,
unaware that the voice was talking to him in the headset again.
“James?”

“
Yeah,” he said, blinking
up at the glass wall.

“
Pack up your gear and then
come into the sound booth. I’ll let you hear what we laid
down.”

James nodded and removed the headset.
He knelt and began packing up his guitar.

“
James?”

James stared at Evan’s boots for a
moment before looking up into his face.

“
James, we gotta
talk.”

James realized he was gripping the
guitar until his knuckles were white. He released it and rose to
his feet to face the bassist. “What?”

“
James, Joshua’s got a
problem,” he said seriously.

“
Yeah, he said he has the
flu.”

Evan shook his head. “No, he didn’t.
You supplied that excuse. You’ve supplied all the excuses
lately.”

“
What are you saying,
Evan?”

Evan looked miserable. “James, he’s
high all of the time. Can’t you see that?”

The knot tightened. James felt like he
was going to be sick. His eyes moved to Ben, but the drummer just
looked down. Sinking onto the stool, James clasped his hands in his
lap.

“
The signs have been there,
James. He keeps disappearing into the bathroom. He has violent mood
swings. He hardly eats anything. All he wants to do is
sleep.”

James realized he was breathing too
fast. He didn’t know what to say. Panic was edging out reason in
his mind. He’d seen the signs, somewhere inside he’d known what
they meant, but he’d denied it. He’d wanted this record deal so
bad, he’d let Joshua slip away.

Swinging away from Evan, he ran to the
door and threw it open. Slamming into the bathroom, he shouted
Joshua’s name, but it was empty. He fled the studio then, hailing a
taxi on the street.

The ride from the studio to the hotel
only took ten minutes, but James thought he was going to crawl out
of his skin before it was over. He took out his cell phone and
dialed Joshua’s number, but it kept shifting to his answering
service. He dialed his parents’ number, but stopped it just before
the call went through.

When the taxi came to a halt before
the hotel, he threw the money over the seat and vaulted out of the
back, tearing into the hotel at a run. The ride up the elevator had
him pacing across the back wall.

He banged frantically on Joshua’s
door, but got no answer. He took out his cell phone again and
punched in his parents’ number, but he disconnected before the
first ring. Heading to the stairs, he took them two at a time until
he exited into the lobby. He would force them to open Joshua’ room
if he had to.

As soon as he was at the
front desk, he realized he hadn’t checked the rest of the hotel.
Joshua often went to the bar to listen to music. James ducked
inside and searched each booth, looking for his brother, but Joshua
wasn’t there.

He moved back into the lobby, prepared
to demand they open Joshua’s room, but on a hunch, he headed for
the door leading to the pool. He found Joshua sitting in a lounge
chair, staring at the water.

James stood in the dark and
watched him. His throat felt so tight, he thought he might
suffocate. Why hadn’t he seen it before? Closing his eyes, he
forced himself to swallow. He
had
, he’d just wanted to ignore it,
hadn’t wanted to believe his brother could go down such a
path.

He moved closer, but Joshua didn’t
acknowledge him. “Josh?”

Joshua blinked, then looked up. Even
in the low light of the torches, James could see his pupils were
dilated.

“
Josh, let’s go home,” he
said softly.

Joshua frowned. “What?”

“
I want to go home,
tonight. Please.”

“
What the hell are you
talking about?” Joshua demanded.

James drew a deep breath, then
exhaled. “You’re on something, aren’t you? Right now. You’re high.
Evan was right.”

Joshua recoiled, but he didn’t
answer.

“
What is it, Josh? Coke,
crack?”

Joshua pushed himself to his feet and
moved closer to his brother. “Stay out of my life, James,” he said,
the same rage simmering in his face.

“
How could you let this
happen, Josh? How could you get involved in something like this?
Shit, you’re only nineteen.”

“
Leave it alone,
James.”

James shook his head. “No, we’re going
home. Tonight. Dad will know what to do. We’ll get you help.” He
placed his hands on his brother’s shoulders.

Joshua shrugged them off. “I don’t
want help and I’m not going home. What I want is for all of you to
leave me the hell alone.” He raked a hand through his hair. “Shit,
James, you’re suffocating me. I can’t do anything without you
watching over my shoulder.”

“
What is it you want to do?
Bed a different woman each night, get high? Look at you, you’re
half sick, Joshua. You can’t keep going on like this.”

“
You don’t know anything
about it.”

“
No, look at your hands.
Look at how they shake. Is that normal, Josh?”

“
Shut up!” he
shouted.

“
You’re coming home. You
don’t have any other choice. We’re going now.”

“
No, I’m not.”

“
I mean it, Josh. I’m not
kidding. We’re going tonight. Don’t make me force you.”

Joshua’s head lifted. “Force me? How,
James? You gonna knocked me unconscious, give me a concussion –
maybe break some ribs?”

James stared at his brother in misery.
“No, Josh, I’m not Ray.”

“
Then stop threatening me.
And leave me the hell alone.” He brushed by his brother and headed
for the hotel.

James whirled around, not sure what he
was going to do and found Evan and Ben standing in the shadows.
Joshua stopped when he came abreast of Evan.

“
Thanks for nothing,” he
snarled, then started to walk on.

“
Josh!” said Evan. He
grabbed Joshua’s elbow and pulled him back.

Joshua sucked in a breath and yanked
his arm out of Evan’s hold, cradling it against his body. They were
all stunned by his behavior and did nothing as he continued
walking, disappearing inside.

Finally Evan turned to James. “What
are you going to do?”

James shook his head, then stopped.
There was only one thing he could do. “I’m going home,” he
said.