Ravensong (45 page)

“
This is a beautiful
instrument.”

“
Yeah, I didn’t eat for six
months just so I could have her.”

Joshua smiled even as he began tuning
it. It felt so right under his fingers, as if he’d never given it
up. Again, he lost track of time, but finally the guitar was in
tune.

“
Damn, you’re good,”
breathed Elliot. He pulled a music stand close. “Here, test it out.
Play this.”

Joshua glanced at the music. It was
one of the songs he’d heard them play not long ago. He could call
up the melody in his mind, play it back to himself like a
recording. Nothing had happened to his musical memory.

He played, the whisper of
his fingers over the strings like the touch of fine
silk.

“
Hold on. Play this part
again,” said Elliot, pointing to a spot on the score.

Joshua’s head jerked up and he stared
at the score, realizing what he’d done. He hadn’t been reading the
music. He’d been playing it the way he thought it ought to be
played in his own mind, not the way they’d written it
down.

He held out the guitar to Elliot. “I’m
sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.” You just didn’t change another
artist’s work like that without his permission.

Elliot pushed the guitar back into his
hands, shaking his head. “No, play it again for me. The way you
just did.”

Joshua’s frantic eyes searched the
music, trying to read the notes, but his heart was pounding too
fast for him to concentrate. All he could hear was the way he’d
wanted to play it, fix it, make it his own.

As if he understood, Elliot turned the
score over and forced Joshua to meet his gaze. “Play it for me,
please. Just the way you did before. I’ve always thought something
wasn’t right in that part of the song, but I couldn’t pin it down.
You did. Please, play it for me.”

There was no anger or challenge in
Elliot’s expression or voice. So Joshua played – he played the
music that kept echoing in his mind the way he’d wanted to hear it
in the first place.

Elliot took a step back, shaking his
head. “I’ve never seen anyone do that before. You write lyrics
too?”

Joshua could only nod.

“
Okay,” said Elliot with a
broad smile. He flipped the score over and showed Joshua the
lyrics. “Help me with this part of it. I don’t like the way the
words flow with the rhythm.”

It didn’t take long before Joshua lost
himself in the task. In fact, he enjoyed it so much, he found
himself laughing, something he couldn’t remember doing for so long.
The other band members came back to the stage and introduced
themselves, but Joshua’s attention was completely captivated by the
score in front of him. Elliot got another guitar and together they
worked through the song, polishing and perfecting every word, every
chord, every note.

“
Okay,” said Elliot
finally. “Let’s play this through once and see how it goes. You
take the vocals, Joshua.”

Joshua’s smile faded and his heart
leaped into his throat. He looked out, searching for his brother
and found him sitting in one of the metal chairs with David and
Julian. He sat forward when Joshua made eye contact, his posture
becoming alert.

“
Ready?” asked Elliot,
noting his change in demeanor.

Joshua shook his head. “I
can’t.”

“
What?”

Joshua put the guitar on the stand and
rose to his feet. “I can’t. I can’t do that.”

“
We’ll just run through it
one time.”

A spasm of pain snaked through
Joshua’s body and he wrapped his arm around his stomach. He could
feel the immediate claws of need sink into him, evaporating the
euphoria of the last few hours.

“
No,” he heard himself say.
“I can’t sing it.” Focusing his attention on the door, he headed
for it, ignoring everyone else around him. He had to get outside
into the fresh air. He had to get away from this room.

“
Josh?” called James in
alarm.

“
Oh great, David,” he heard
Julian’s voice at his back. “Just what we need. A
head-case.”

Joshua didn’t hear anymore, he just
escaped into the foggy oblivion beyond the rehearsal
studio.

CHAPTER 18

Paparazzi filled the hotel lobby,
converging on Joshua and his entourage the moment they left the
elevator. For a moment, they separated Joshua from his brother.
James shoved them aside, trying to get to him, but they pushed
back. Dominic had no problem getting physical. He dropped his
shoulders and muscled them, pressing in front of Joshua and Elena.
Even so, cameras snapped and questions flew at Joshua so rapidly,
he couldn’t have answered them if he wanted.

“
Is it true the band is
breaking-up?”

“
Why are you and Elliot
Evans not speaking?”

“
Are you planning a solo
career?”

And most insidious of all,
over and over again: “How are you feeling? How are you
feeling
?”

Joshua lowered his eyes and tightened
his hold on Elena. She curled into his side and tried to hide her
own face. James finally pushed through, taking his arm. “Keep
moving,” he ordered, shoving forward, but Joshua sensed the panic
rising inside of himself.

They pelted him with questions. Most
of them about Elliot. Joshua closed his eyes and tried to calm
himself. He could feel the small, nagging tug of pain in his
mid-back and abdomen, reminders of a time when pain was a part of
his life. It worried him. He hadn’t felt this distinctive pain in
so many years, but lately it had been reoccurring.

Just when he knew he couldn’t take
anymore, Elliot was suddenly beside him, moving into the spot that
James had occupied. He wrapped his arm around Joshua’s shoulders
and glared the paparazzi down.

The questions picked up intensity,
some of the reporters shoving microphones in both of their faces.
Elliot didn’t seem alarmed by any of it. “If you’d stop shouting,
we might be able to answer you one at a time.”

“
Are you and Ravensong on
the outs?”

Elliot smiled at Joshua. “Are we on
the outs? Shit, people, you need a story that bad? Hell no. We’ve
been tight since day one.”

“
Is the band breaking
up?”

“
We’re playing to sold-out
stadiums every night. Why would we do something that
stupid?”

“
We’ve heard that Ravensong
isn’t going to tour Europe with you?”

Elliot dramatically leaned away from
Joshua and gave him a funny look. “Really? Got other hot
plans?”

Joshua gave him a tight smile.
Gradually Elliot was moving them toward the doors of the hotel,
using Dominic as a wedge to force the way.

“
Rumors have it that Joshua
isn’t well. Is that true, Joshua? What’s wrong?”

“
You know better than to
listen to rumors. Hell, you people make them up. Come on now. Have
you seen this man perform? Give me a flippin’ break.”

Dominic bodily shoved two reporters
aside and threw open the glass door. Joshua could see the limo
waiting in front of them, the side door opened and flanked by
security guards. Lot of good it did them now.

“
Go!” said Elliot, shoving
Joshua and Elena forward. They ran for the limo and threw
themselves inside, sliding over to make room for James and Elliot.
Dominic slammed the door shut behind them, but the paparazzi were
there, banging on the windows and trying the door handles. Dominic
climbed into the passenger side and closed the door, motioning for
the driver to pull away.

Joshua turned around and watched the
paparazzi fill the street behind it as the limo left the hotel
parking lot. He drew a deep breath and slumped in the seat. Elliot
was staring at him and he realized that he was looking at his
hands. They were shaking badly. Joshua folded his arms across his
chest and hid them.

“
You all right?”

Joshua nodded. “Thanks for
that.”

Elliot shrugged. “Didn’t want to be
late for sound check.” Without another word, he turned to the
window and stared out, effectively signaling to Joshua that the
conversation had ended.

Joshua didn’t want to be hurt by
Elliot anymore, but he was. Elliot was always capable of expansive
gestures like this, but Joshua had never experienced the other side
of him – the side that could so effectively shut him
out.

* * *

James stared at the back of Dominic’s
head, trying to ignore the tension in the limo. Elliot was staring
out the window and Joshua was slumped in the seat, his eyes shut.
Elena exchanged a quick glance with him, then shifted
uncomfortably, looking out the window herself.

James chewed on his inner lip. Joshua
had first thought Julian was behind the pranks, but he’d changed
his mind. James had been inclined to suspect Elliot, but after
Elliot had rescued them today, he wasn’t sure. And he had no other
suspects.

He’d asked for help investigating the
pharmaceutical company, BPI, but that hadn’t turned up any
information except that Joshua had ordered the syringe himself.
They were trying to dig deeper into that one, but BPI was being
difficult. James wanted to believe his brother and some part of him
did, but Joshua had lied to him before. And yet, he didn’t act like
he was using. He didn’t have that glazed look in his eyes, that
distant, dreamy quality to his demeanor.

Truthfully, he was acting
more like he had right after he came off the drugs –shaky and
nervous, sick with withdrawal symptoms and the after-effects of
kidney failure. James was more worried than he let on. He really
thought he ought to call his father and tell him about Joshua’s
symptoms, but he’d promised Joshua he wouldn’t do that just yet,
and he really hated to worry his parents before he had more to go
on.

Then there was the fact
that something strange
was
happening. He might be able to blame the syringe
and the vial on Joshua, even if Joshua didn’t remember getting
either one (he’d experienced black-outs before), but he couldn’t
explain the crowd at the radio station or the paparazzi at the
hotel. He’d made it clear to Julian that the band’s plans had to
remain secret. Someone was leaking the information to the public.
He’d been sure it was Elliot, but now he wasn’t and he had no other
leads to follow.

The limo pulled up behind the stadium
and a huge contingent of security converged on it. Joshua opened
his eyes and sat forward, wrapping an arm around his stomach and
grimacing in obvious pain. James felt for the phone in his pocket.
Eventually he was going to have to consult with his father. Joshua
was getting worse.

The door opened and Joshua stepped
out. He was immediately surrounded by security and escorted toward
the stadium. Elena followed him. James started to climb out, but
Elliot placed a hand on his arm, stopping him.

“
He looks like hell, James.
What’s going on?”

James shrugged. “I was just thinking
that I need to call my dad and ask him.”

“
But something’s going on,
isn’t it? What happened at the airport?”

James studied Elliot’s face. He saw
only concern there. “Someone’s playing some really nasty, dangerous
pranks on him.”

“
Like what?”

James took a chance. He listed every
prank just as Joshua had told him.

Elliot’s eyes widened. “Who would do
something like this?”

“
I wish I knew,” said
James, shaking his head. “But it’s only getting worse. The more
tired he gets from the tour, the less he’s able to cope and these
pranks are hitting him harder and harder.”

“
What about Julian?” asked
Elliot.

James shrugged again. “He’s still a
suspect in my book, but Joshua doesn’t think so. He rescued him at
the airport and he was furious when Ray showed up and messed up
Josh’s face.”

“
What if you can’t figure
out who’s doing it?”

“
I don’t know. I know he
wants to finish the tour, but you can see how sick he looks. His
hands are shaking and he’s not sleeping. He’s going to have a
relapse if this doesn’t end.”

Elliot didn’t answer. He looked away
with a worried expression.

James took another chance. “This thing
between you isn’t helping. You know how much he relies on you,
Elliot. You’ve been friends for years. Why does it have to be like
this?”

Elliot sighed. “I wish it wasn’t,
James. Especially now, but it’s gone on so long, both of us pissing
on each other, that I don’t know how to end it.”

“
That’s pretty damn stupid,
El, and you know it.”

Elliot shook his head. “Yeah, then
tell me how to end it because I just don’t know how. It’s like
we’re standing on the other side of a canyon from each other and I
can’t find the bridge.”

* * *

Elliot could tell Ravensong
was about to bolt again. His eyes took on a wild look and he
started glancing around, refusing to make eye contact. Man, he was
a mess, but he was so damn talented.
Avalanche
needed that brilliance. And
Elliot knew a charismatic performer lurked beneath the hunted
exterior of this man.