Red Hot Touch (15 page)

TRIPLE TREAT

CLITORIS SANDWICH

Best with lubrication

The G-spot and A-spot aren’t the only bundles of nerves lying along the front wall of the vaginal canal. Press upward hard enough and you can also stimulate the root of the clitoris—which, you may recall, extends three to four inches into the pelvic cavity. To hit this hard-to-reach spot, you’ll need both hands in on the action: one on top handling the visible portion of the clitoris, and one on the bottom stimulating the base of the clitoris from inside the vagina, sandwiching the clitoris from both sides. On top, squeeze the clitoral shaft between the pads or knuckles of your index and middle fingers.
Then, if you can, move your hand up and down as if you were stroking along the shaft. Meanwhile insert two fingers into the vaginal canal with your palm facing up, spread your fingers in a V, and press up against the front wall in a come-hither motion. Try to bring both hands closer together, and you should have the clitoral root sandwiched neatly between them.

CLITORIS SANDWICH

FISTING: HOW TO MAKE IT FEEL PHENOMENAL

Fisting—where you insert your entire hand inside the vagina—may sound painful or all but impossible to perform on the woman you’re with. And yet if your partner wants to give it a go and you take the right steps, it can be an intensely pleasurable experience. If you and your partner are curious, follow these pointers to ensure things go smoothly.

USE LOTS OF LUBE—
With fisting, lubricant is downright essential, since it cuts down on friction and gives your fingers easier entry. That said, you should not use lube as an excuse to push past her comfort zone. Throughout the process take it slow and stay in close communication with your partner about what feels good. If at any point she indicates she’s uncomfortable, stop immediately. Our motto is no pain, no pain.

FIRST STEP: STRETCH—
Obviously your whole hand can’t just head on in and expect a warm welcome. Instead start with one finger as usual and prep the area by stretching it. Press your finger against the vaginal wall—top, sides, and bottom—holding each stretch for at least five seconds. If this relaxes the area enough that you can easily insert two fingers (your second and third are ideal), repeat the same stretch on the vaginal walls. If you find you can’t easily insert two fingers, don’t force it. Either repeat the first step again or move on to other activities.

MAKE SURE SHE BREATHES DEEPLY—
Deep breathing will help relax the vaginal muscles, thereby increasing their flexibility. Ask her to slowly inhale and exhale as you perform each stretch and with luck you should feel the tissue slowly expand.

STIMULATE WHILE YOU STRETCH—
Don’t get so caught up in the penetration process that you forget to turn her on in other ways. Be sure to stroke or lick
some of her other hot spots—clitoris, breasts, nipples—while you gradually work your way in. Arouse her and this will increase blood flow to the pelvic area, making the tissue here even more pliable.

SLOWLY ADD FINGERS FOLLOWING HER LEAD—
If your partner’s vagina relaxes enough that it appears there’s room for more than two fingers, it’s time to get your thumb in on the action. Press the pad of your thumb between your middle and third fingers so your hand looks like a duck. Then slowly insert these three fingers into the vagina and resume stretching as usual. If all goes well proceed to inserting your index, middle, and fourth finger, then those three fingers with the thumb, then adding the pinky at the end. Make sure you’re stretching, and she’s breathing, and that you’re not pushing past what she finds pleasurable.

YOU’RE IN! NOW WHAT?—
Once all five fingers are inside the vagina, you may be wondering what’s next. The funny thing is,
nothing
really needs to happen. Just keep your hand stationary and hang out for a while. More advanced fisters might consider moving their wrist in tiny circles, but keep in mind that your goal isn’t to rub the vagina as you usually do—the fact that you’re stretching the tissue may feel incredible enough. Combine that with a few licks or caresses on some of her other hot spots. All too soon you may start feeling her vaginal muscles contract around your hand as she reaches her peak.

MAKE A GRACEFUL EXIT—
Once your partner’s had her fill, you’ll want to withdraw
very
slowly. Do not pull out—instead, let her push you out. Keeping your hand relaxed, ask her to inhale deeply and contract her PC muscle and then bear down as she exhales. Bit by bit, this should expel your hand from her vagina.

EXPLORE THE BACK DOOR
A GUIDE TO ANAL PLEASURES

The most important thing, the single most important thing when you’re talking about wanting to progress forward with any kind of anal erotic play is desire. You must, must do this because you want to do it… Of all the parts of your body, nothing knows a liar like your anus. So if your mind is saying “Yes! Yes!” and your heart is saying “No! No!” your anus will always listen to your heart.
—NINA HARTLEY

S
ome of you may have skipped straight to this chapter because you know this is gonna be good. Others may be wincing and thinking of flipping the page but are still reading because deep, deep down, you’re thinking the exact same thing:
Hmm, maybe this is gonna be good.
Either way, you’ve come to the right place.

Let’s start with the facts: The anus contains more nerve endings than any other area of the body except for the genitals. That means that its capacity to feel pleasure is astronomical, and this holds true
whether you’re man or woman, gay or straight, bisexual, transsexual, pansexual, or somewhere in between—an anus is an anus is an anus. Venture into this wild, wonderful frontier, and a host of moan-making, bed-quaking sensations await. And as always, your hands play a crucial role in making that happen.

Whether you are a back door virgin or an anal aficionado looking for new ideas, this chapter will leave everyone satisfied (in fact, anal massage can relax the entire body). Even if your partner is adamant that nothing enter the exit, we’ve provided plenty of techniques you can try
around
the aperture that will feel amazing even if you never head in. Anal play may not be for everyone, but honestly, how do you know one way or the other until you learn the right steps and give it a try? If you and your partner agree, let’s get this party started.

PREPPING FOR THE PLUNGE: TIPS TO ENSURE PAINLESS PLAY

Anal play is kind of like skydiving: Follow protocol and the experience can be exhilarating. Flout the rules and you will most likely crash and burn. If you want to avoid becoming a cautionary tale that feeds the back door’s bad rap, you’ve got to take a few safeguards seriously. Heed this advice to up the odds you’ll have a rave-worthy trip.

Go Slow

We’re talking snail’s-pace slow. The anus is not to be entered with abandon—in fact, on most people (especially the uninitiated) it might be best if it is not entered at all, at least at first. Instead stick to frolicking on the outskirts, which are also sensitive and will enjoy the attention. Once you do circle in toward the anal star,
do not barge in.
The anus should
let
you in, or else you have no business being in there
at all. Throughout the process, make sure your partner is breathing deep, since this will help relax the back channel.

Use Lube—Lots of It

The anus isn’t naturally lubricated, so it’s BYOL (Bring Your Own Lube). This will help you ease into your entry without making your partner uncomfortable (although you shouldn’t use lube as an excuse to shoehorn in; listen to your partner’s body and proceed at his or her pace). To protect against STDs, wear a condom, dental dam, or latex glove over your finger (for more details on lube and protective coverings, turn to
chapter 2
).

Get Anal About Your Anatomy

If you’ve never been up the hindquarters, it can help if you know what to expect along the way. Here’s a rundown of the coming attractions in order of appearance.

The Outer Sphincter:
Your first stop, of course, is the outer sphincter muscle—that cute little pucker between your partner’s butt cheeks. Since this ringlike muscle is controlled by the central nervous system, people can voluntarily tighten or relax this orifice on command (although it may take practice).

The Inner Sphincter:
Insert your finger past sphincter 1, and about one to two centimeters in you’ll encounter another sphincter. Unlike the first, this sphincter is controlled by the autonomic nervous system, which means the person it belongs to can’t really will it to do what he or she wants—and neither can you. So how do you edge past? Just
camp out at its doorstep. Lightly press on the sphincter and wait for an opening. Eventually it should let you in.

WORRIED ABOUT THE CRAP FACTOR? HOW TO DEAL

He’s, like, trying to sell me on [anal sex] being “natural.” I’m like, “Um, first of all, doody comes out of there, okay? And second of all, fucking doody comes out of there.” I don’t need two reasons when doody’s involved.

—SARAH SILVERMAN

There’s no getting around the fact that the anus is, well, an anus with all that entails. But provided you prep right, nine times out of ten you’ll find nary a trace of excrement. Your first preventative measure has to do with your diet: If you have a hunch you’ll delve into anal territory in the next day or two, eating fiber will help keep your highway debris-free (some natural sources of fiber include fresh fruits and vegetables, raw spinach, whole grains, legumes, and nuts, or ask for suggestions at your local health food store).

For further flawlessness, hop in the shower and wash where the sun don’t shine. That’s right, insert a finger in your bum as far as is comfortable to clear the area (don’t forget to trim your fingernails first and be sure to rinse thoroughly since sudsy residue can be irritating and can disturb the bacterial balance in the rectum). Exploring your own alleyway has an added benefit: You’ll know what to expect—both as the penetrator and the penetratee—and that’s priceless.

Still, remember that no matter how much you scrub and plan ahead, sometimes shit happens. Keeping baby wipes handy can help with minor touch-ups during the action.

The Rectum:
Beyond these two ring-shaped gatekeepers lies the rectum—a relatively roomier corridor ranging in length from four to
six inches. More S-shaped than straight, the rectum is filled with some pretty sensitive spots. On men there’s the prostate gland around three inches in; on women you can jump-start the G-spot, which lies right next door in the vaginal canal. Another thing you’ll be glad to know about the rectum is that poop doesn’t park here. In general, feces are stored further up in the colon, and the rectum is probably as far as your fingers will be able (or want) to go.

Watch Out for Infections

Even squeaky-clean anuses can contain harmful bacteria. As a result, nothing that has been up the back chute—finger, penis, sex toy, or whatever—should subsequently enter the vagina, since the bacteria from the anus can cause an infection. To avoid trouble, make a point of using one hand exclusively in the front slot and your other hand out back, or put a condom over your finger or use a vinyl glove and remove it once you’re done with fanny fun. You’ll also want to keep lube from spreading from the anus to the vagina (especially if she’s lying on her stomach); placing a small hand towel between her legs works well as added protection.

Attention Straight Couples:
Anal Play Does Not Mean He’s Gay

While back road excursions have gained popularity among straight couples, the prospect can still spark some anxiety. If a man really,
really
likes it, does that mean he’s secretly batting for his own team? We’re not gender psychologists, but we think that’s highly unlikely. Your hands are powerful, but not
that
powerful. Anal penetration may feel good, but straight (and bi) men are attracted to women for a
whole slew of reasons—a finger up his butt isn’t going to change that. In fact, ladies, given it’s
your
finger, this will merely give him one more reason to worship the ground
you
walk on. So stop worrying and just thank your stars he’s having the time of his life.