Red Hot Touch (12 page)

If you’ve witnessed a woman gush like Mount Vesuvius and wondered what the heck was going on, keep in mind that this mixture (which could amount to from a teaspoon to a few tablespoons) is definitely not urine but a mixture of glucose, fructose, proteins, and water (strangely, the fluid’s origins are unknown, although the prevailing theory is that it is produced by the Skenes gland, which is located around the bottom part of the urethra). If you haven’t seen a woman ejaculate but would like to, in the next chapter we’ll provide plenty of advice on how to make her cup runneth over.

The A-spot

Also on the front wall of the vagina but three to four inches in lies another rough patch that might feel similar to the G-spot but is more spread out and bell-shaped. This is the anterior fornix erogenous
zone, or A-spot for short. Theorized to be an extension of the G-spot, the A-spot was discovered in 1993 by Malaysian sex researcher Chua Chee Ann. His studies found that stimulating this area (a come-hither finger wiggle also works well here) can cause women to become lubricated in five to ten seconds, to become orgasmic in one to two minutes, and also can help women to ejaculate.

The U-spot

So named since it lies on top and/or to the sides of the urethral opening (which is right above the vagina), the U-spot not only is rich in nerve endings but contains another passion-inducing perk: erectile tissue. While the area is way too small to pop a noticeable hard-on, you might be able to feel a tiny bump with a fingertip after lightly tickling the area. And, as with the G-spot and A-spot, you might be able to get her to ejaculate by stimulating the U-spot.

The Perineum

This patch of skin between the vagina and the anus (aka “the taint” since “’tain’t one or the other”) is a crossroads of nerve endings and muscle groups that are responsible for revving up the entire pelvic region. These muscle groups include the bulbocavernosis muscles (which assist in tightening the vaginal canal and creating a clitoral erection), the ischiocavernosus muscles (responsible for maintaining a clitoral erection), and others. Pressing on the perineum is like flooring the gas pedal on a Ferrari—it’s bound to leave her breathless.

The Anus

If they could, many women would board off this area with a huge KEEP OUT sign spanning from cheek to cheek. If the woman you’re
with is one of these, that’s her prerogative—it’s her anus, after all. Still, the fact of the matter is, the anus contains more nerve endings than any other part of the body, second only to the genitals. So if she’s into your exploring the area (and you’re game to go there), turn to
chapter 9
for details.

HANDLING HER ULTIMATE HOT SPOT:
SOME GUIDELINES TO KEEP IN MIND

Now that you’ve got a good working knowledge of what’s going on under the hood, let’s bring your hands into the picture. In the next chapter we’ll show you specific techniques that will rev her engines, but in the meantime here’s some general advice that will help you avoid some common fumbles.

We Repeat: Your Finger Is Not a Penis

We know you know this, and yet time and again we see people (men
and
women) moving their hand in and out of the vagina in a thrusting motion that mimics
exactly
what a penis does down there to a tee. We’re not saying this motion doesn’t feel good or won’t come in handy on certain occasions, but the whole point of using your hands is that they can do things a penis cannot. For instance, as we mentioned already, some of the vagina’s most sensitive spots (such as the G-spot and A-spot) lie on its front wall a few inches in. The best way to stimulate these spots is not by chugging in and out like a piston, but by inserting a finger, holding it steady, and crooking it toward you in a come-hither motion so you’re actually moving the tissue inside rather than just rubbing along its surface. This is just one of many ways your hands trump a hard-on in the stimulation department, so
make sure to use your mitts to
their
full potential rather than treating them like a surrogate schlong.

Wash Your Hands Before They Wander

You know how moms always tell you to wash your hands before you eat? We’d like to add an addendum to that rule that we’re sure few mothers would dare to mention: You should also wash your hands before you hop in the sack. It’s a scientific fact that in any given day your hands come in contact with countless surfaces that are crawling with badass microorganisms. What’s more, these germs most easily enter the body via the mucous membranes, which include the eyes, nose, mouth, and (last but not least) her vagina. Skip the soap and water and you could risk passing along anything from your garden-variety cold to the bacteria that cause a urinary tract infection, neither of which will do much for your sex life. Also keep in mind that bacteria often hide underneath fingernails, so make sure your nails are trimmed. For extra points, file them to avoid scraping any sharp edges across her delicate petals (ouch).

Take a Bathroom Break Before You Begin

This holds true for both genders, but women have added reason to hit the john before the games begin. As we mentioned earlier, stimulation of the G-spot, A-spot, or U-spot may prompt women to ejaculate—yet many women block this sensation since it feels strikingly similar to the need to pee. If she relieves herself ahead of time, however, she’ll know that any calls of nature she gets in the midst of it all are probably fake, and that what’s
really
happening is you’ve just hit an extra-sensitive area that could soon get her gushing.

Sex and Drugs Don’t Mix

One glass of wine might help her unwind, but a few Long Island Iced Teas will get her bombed, not turned on. Not only does alcohol numb the nerves; it’s also a diuretic that will desiccate her body’s natural water supply—including the reserves she’s got down below. Of course, you can use store-bought lubricant, but she won’t appreciate your handiwork half as much if she’s sloshed. Also keep in mind that certain prescription medications—such as antidepressants—can cause numbness and make orgasm difficult. If she thinks her meds are cramping the fun, she can talk to her doctor about switching to ones with fewer sexual side effects.

Sweet-talk Her Sweet Spot

As silly as it sounds, many women are worried their vaginas look, smell, or taste funny. And this self-consciousness can keep her from enjoying all the attention you’re lavishing down there. To ease her embarrassment, pay her privates a compliment. A simple “It’s beautiful” or “I love the way you smell/taste/feel” will perk up her sexual self-confidence and her satisfaction levels as well.

Request a Hands-on Demonstration

It’s simple: Nobody knows how to play her pipe organs like she does. So if you
really
want to learn how and where she likes to be touched, watching her masturbate will be your best tutorial ever. We’re not saying you should sit there and take notes; rather, treat it like a feast for the eyes by telling her what a turn-on it is to see her pleasure herself. If she’s too shy to put on a show, she might feel less self-conscious
if you
both
masturbate in front of each other. Another alternative is to put your hands on her privates then ask her to place her hands on top of yours and move them the way she likes. No matter how you conduct class, you’re bound to learn by example.

This Delicate Tulip Is Actually Anything But

While it’s true you’ll want to treat the ultra-sensitive clitoris with care and tread lightly there, the rest of a woman’s genitals are actually much sturdier than you might think. Many of the techniques we teach in the next chapter require that you pinch, slap, and stretch things in ways that might first make you wonder
Whoa, won’t that hurt?
But in our experience, people more often err on the side of using too light or tentative a touch—and the effects can feel irritating rather than arousing, like an itch she wants to scratch. So don’t be afraid to handle her vulva with confidence. For additional guidance, ask, “Does that hurt or do you want me to keep going?” and adjust your touch accordingly.

Don’t Rush It

A woman’s motor often takes time to warm up—which is probably why the most common mistake people make is to try to move things along at too quick a clip. No matter how slow you’re going, go more slowly. Think like a painter and make every stroke count. Your goal is not so much to give her an orgasm but to allow her orgasm to come to you. To make sure you proceed at her pace, ask for her feedback, or take cues from her body language: If her hips seem to be pulling away you’re coming on too strong; if they rise to meet you consider that a green light.

Ask Before You Enter

Think about it: Before you enter a room, it’s only polite to knock. Same goes with the vagina. Given that people tend to rush things, it can help to have an extra safeguard that’ll keep you from barging in before she’s game for guests. While asking, “Are you ready for me to enter you?” is a good start, she may feel obligated to say yes. So instead offer her a choice by asking, “Are you ready for me to enter you or would you rather I continue teasing you?” That way she is allowed to choose rather than refuse what you’re offering, and things can continue on a positive note.

Don’t Fret If She’s Not Wet

You’re pulling out all the stops, yet yonder valleys remain devoid of their usual dewiness. That means she’s bored out of her mind, right? Not necessarily. A woman’s natural lubrication levels ebb and flow due to all sorts of factors, from medication she’s taking to where she’s at in her menstrual cycle. Therefore using wetness as a gauge to assess her state of arousal is not always reliable. So here’s your reality check: If she’s wet, she’s wet. If she’s dry, don’t take it personally; go grab that tube of lube you’ve got stashed in your nightstand.

It’s Okay If She’s Not Shouting in Ecstasy

While porn videos sure make it seem as if all women screech at the top of their lungs during sex, the reality is, everyone expresses their pleasure differently. A choice few may be screamers; others may only quiver and sigh. Some may start tearing their (and your) hair out; others will largely lie there and not move an inch. So don’t assume your efforts aren’t appreciated if she’s barely making a peep. When in
doubt, ask. Your interest shows you care (which will shine well on you no matter what). From there, she can either steer you in a better direction or reassure you that she’s having a ball.

Experiment with Different Positions

If you thought that there was only
one
position in which to manually stimulate her genitals (her on her back and you lying within arm’s reach), that’s not the half of it. There are plenty of alternatives, and even small adjustments in body position can make a big difference arousal-wise. Consider these options:

• Her lying on her back with her legs raised, knees or feet resting on your shoulders while you sit on the mattress below her butt with your legs spread in a V to each side of her body. This twist offers some tantalizing access to rear-end attractions like her perineum and anus.
  

• Her lying on her back with her hips near the edge of the bed, you kneeling on the floor. Since your head and torso can remain vertical as you work your magic, you can avoid neck and shoulder strain.
  

• Her lying on her side, you spooning her from behind or lying face-to-face—a prime choice for those of you who crave plenty of eye contact and kissing.
  

• Her on all fours, you kneeling or standing behind her—a highly erotic, animalistic pose that also offers great access to all her backside has to offer.
  

• Her standing, legs slightly spread or with one leg up on a chair or the bed, you kneeling beneath. Her sense of power will soar as you aim to please from down under.
  

Leverage Her Legs to Your Advantage

Raised or lowered, together or apart, leg position is pivotal to her pleasure. Whatever technique you’re trying, its success may hinge on where her limbs are located. Move them around, and you may be surprised to find certain angles will get her singing your praises louder than others. While each woman will have her own personal preferences, here’s what you can expect in general:

• If she’s on her back and her legs are raised, this tends to pitch the angle of her vagina upward, making it easier to stimulate the G-spot and A-spot during manual stimulation, intercourse, or otherwise.
  

• If her legs are apart, this gives you better access to all her nooks and crannies (obviously).
  

• If her legs are together, this may limit access somewhat, but there are definite benefits. Given everything’s situated snugly together, you can stimulate
  more
  real estate with every stroke.
  

• If one leg is up and the other down, you’ll get the best of both worlds: better access, but also tons of feel-good friction.
  

Watch What You’re Doing

Granted your sense of touch will take you far in terms of finding and rousing her erogenous zones. That said, whenever possible it sure can’t hurt to eyeball things a little. The clitoris, for one, can be hard to find unless you pull back the clitoral hood and scrutinize the area for the telltale pink nub. And you’re flying totally blind on the U-spot unless you spread the inner labia and search for a tiny hole (that’s the urethra where the U-spot is located). It can also help to have a visual
sense of how her genitals change throughout the arousal process. The clitoris may become larger and/or more pronounced, her inner labia may change color from pink to purple. Know the signs and you can more accurately gauge whether she’s still warming up or ready to blow. Of course, we’re not suggesting you shine a spotlight here as if you were conducting a gyno exam, but whatever visuals you can gather will only work in your favor.