Authors: Jon Hanauer
Consider Reaching for Some Less Obvious Hot Spots
Genitals, breasts, butt—all are perfectly respectable places to put your hands when you do the deed. Still, they’re hardly the only places that will appreciate some hands-on attention. The entire body is teaming with erogenous zones, and in
chapter 4
we provided more than fifty techniques for turning them on. Tap into them and you will capitalize on the body’s
full
potential for pleasure. That’s why in our
next section we’ll show you how to use your hands
everywhere
during intercourse, not just below the belt. Our suggestions are just a sampling of all the places your hands can wander; feel free to expand from there.
ASSUME THE POSITION! HOW TO USE YOUR HANDS
ON TOP, BOTTOM, AND EVERYWHERE IN BETWEEN
Given there are so many ways you can use your hands during intercourse, we’ve grouped our lessons according to the four most common sexual scenarios: the missionary position, woman on top, sex from behind, and sex side by side. For you adventurous folks who want to explore beyond that, we’ve included a fifth miscellaneous catchall category full of sexy surprises that’ll make you blush. But first let’s kick things off with the classic of classics—the missionary position—and provide some tips for how your hands can make it amazing.
Missionary Possible:
Manual Moves to Improve Man-on-Top Lovemaking
This position makes men feel like kings. That said, being top dog does come with a few challenges as far as your hands are concerned. Since the guy’s arms are usually occupied propping up his torso so he doesn’t crush his lovely bedfellow beneath, he is somewhat limited in how much his hands can do otherwise. That said, there are ways to work around this obstacle: Try a version of missionary where the man stands or kneels with his torso vertical, which eliminates his need for arm support. Or just leave the bulk of the handiwork to the bottom partner, whose hands are incredibly free to roam. Here are some techniques to try.
BARING THE SCEPTER
Most easily done from the bottom
Either partner can perform this technique, although the bottom person’s hands may be able to pull it off more easily. Reaching down between your bodies, form a ring with thumb and forefinger around the base of the penis. Then pull down so the skin on the shaft is taut. This exposes more nerve endings and increases the penis’s sensitivity (it can also help maintain his erection). Engage in intercourse with your hand still encircling the base. This technique is great at the outset of intercourse. Try it during those very first few thrusts and take it slow so he can savor every inch of the penetration process. It’ll send his pleasure soaring.
UNCLOAKING THE CLIT
Most easily done from the bottom
Since a woman’s clitoris is buried under the clitoral hood and cushiony mons pubis surrounding it, it’s no wonder this tiny nub rarely receives enough stimulation during intercourse for a woman to arrive at the O station. Your hands, though, can help change that. Form a V with your index and middle finger, reach between your bodies, and press this V onto the mons pubis, with a finger to each side of the clitoris. Then pull up toward her belly, moving the skin with your hand. This should unveil the hard-to-reach clit in all its glory, exposing this little love button to a lot more action. You can easily keep your hand here throughout intercourse. If he starts speeding up thrusting as he approaches his peak, wiggle your wrist from side to side to give yourself a little extra in the stimulation department so that you can both reach your climactic peaks simultaneously.
UNCLOAKING THE CLIT
CLOSING THE PEARLY GATES
Most easily done from the bottom
Extend both arms between your bodies and, using your fingertips, press the sides of the outer labia in toward the penis during intercourse.
This provides a snugger fit—and more feel-good friction for both parties. To increase the effects, the bottom partner can close her legs together for an even tighter squeeze. Just remember, the tighter the aperture, the slower you should thrust to avoid overwhelming the nerve endings in the genital area.
POLISHING THE PEARLY GATES
Most easily done from the bottom
This technique is similar to Closing the Pearly Gates, where you press the outer labia in toward the penis, only with one very scintillating addition: To up the stimulation factor, massage the outer labia by moving your hands and the skin underneath in quarter-sized circles. His penis will feel the kneading as well. Slow down the pace of your lovemaking and you will be able to luxuriate in this move to the fullest.
SHAKE AND BAKE
Most easily done from the bottom
If you’re craving a quick but stimulating break from intercourse, this move is the perfect titillating time-out. To do it the man withdraws and rests the tip of his penis on the clitoris. Then, reaching between your bodies, hold the base of the penis and shake it quickly from side to side so that the head hits the clit with every wiggle. In doing so, you’ll be stimulating
both
heads at once—that of the clitoris and the penis.
JUMP-START THE SACRUM (HIM)
Must be done from the bottom
Reach around and place your hand on his sacrum—a triangular-shaped bone in the lower back that when stimulated can send signals
via the sacral nerve straight into the genitals. To fire up this lust-inducing link, drum your fingertips on the area or press down on it with your entire palm. This will also get him penetrating you more deeply with every thrust. These two moves are probably easiest to do when the man is stationary for a few minutes taking a break. Try stimulating his sacrum while contracting your pubococcygeal or PC muscle (the one you use to stop urinating) and you may be surprised to find that’s more than enough to keep him aroused.
PUSHING TUSH
Must be done from the bottom
If your guy enjoys having his back door explored, reach around with both hands and grab both cheeks. From there you can spread the cheeks apart, then together, one up one down then vice versa, or place your middle fingers to the sides of the anus then spread them apart, then diagonally, then up and down. If that gets him hankering for more, feel free to delve deeper; just make sure you’ve read the instructions in
chapter 9
to ensure safe passage. During these moves (especially the more in-depth options), it’s probably best that he remain still so your fingers can deftly perform their duties without too much jostling.
BUTTERING THE BOTTOM
Must be done from on top
To get set up for this move, the woman must raise her legs so that the man, who’s kneeling below her butt, can prop his chest on the soles of her feet. Since she’s now supporting his upper torso, his hands are free to start wandering—and this position presents the perfect body part for him to play with: her booty, which is now raised off the bed
and easily within reach if he extends his arms under her legs. As with Pushing Tush, spreading the cheeks apart, then together, one up, one down then vice versa or placing your middle fingers to the sides of the anus and spreading them apart, diagonally, then up and down are great techniques to try. And if that leaves her wanting more, proceed to penetrative techniques. It’s probably best to remain stationary so your hands out back can dazzle without too many distractions.
HAPPY SCISSORS
Must be done from on top
Heating up hot spots isn’t your hands’ only talent. They’re also great at moving body parts where you want them, and this technique is a prime opportunity. During intercourse ask your partner to raise her legs, then hold an ankle in each hand. From there, you can spread her legs apart, hold them together, part them at 90 degrees—the options are endless. This move comes with a few benefits: One, your ankle hold gives you added traction, you can thrust much faster and deeper than usual (although you should take care that your partner is comfortable with the pace and pressure). Second, since the tendons of the legs pivot deep in the pelvic cavity, moving them around will subtly alter the below-the-belt sensations for you both.
FACE FORWARD
Must be done from on top
While a guy on top typically can’t do much since his arms are occupied holding up his weight, by leaning on his elbows, he can free up his forearms for one
very
effective move. Looking into your partner’s
eyes, start massaging her face. Cheeks, temples, lips, whatever you caress, it’ll up your intimacy levels. Intercourse, after all, is often about forging an emotional bond as well as a physical one. Why not let your hands help communicate that by showing her how much you love lavishing attention on her cute little mug?
Ride ’Em Cowgirl: Where Your Hands Can Roam When She’s on Top
When women hop into the saddle, watch out: Study after study shows that women can most easily reach orgasm this way, and no wonder. Being in charge of the motion and angle of entry greatly increases the odds she’ll have it just how she likes it. What’s more, in this position, her partner’s hands are wonderfully free to cause even more mischief. While the top gal may have a tougher time using her hands since she may be using her arms for support, she can still swing some pretty scorching moves if she makes a few tiny adjustments. Here are some ideas to get you yelling
yee-haw
in no time.
ROW HER BOAT
Must be done from the bottom
While one of the big benefits of being on top is that it gives women good clitoral stimulation, the bottom partner can give her even
more
by placing his thumbs to each side of this supersensitive nub. Then start paddling your thumbs by pressing one then the other alternately into the flesh. Start slow with one thumb pad press per second, and if that goes well, you can kick things up to about five per second. Let her be the captain and tell you what pressure and speed feels best, or just follow her lead. If she’s going slow, do the same; once she picks up the pace, let your thumbs do the same.
ROW HER BOAT
JUMP-START THE SACRUM (HER)
Must be done from the bottom
When she’s moving slowly or taking a break and remaining stationary, reach around her waist and place your hands on her sacrum, a bone in the lower back that’s hooked up straight to the genitals via the sacral nerve. To activate this stimulating connection, drum your fingers against it or press down on the sacrum. This will also get her clitoris rubbing even more snugly up against you, creating additional arousal points.
BOSOM BUDDIES
Must be done from the bottom
In woman-on-top lovemaking, her breasts all but beg to be fondled. Try letting your hands drift over her Grand Tetons barely touching them, or spread your five fingers over each breast and slowly draw your fingers in toward the nipple. While these techniques are best tried when she’s moving slowly or not moving at all, once she speeds up and nears her orgasmic finale, consider giving her nips a playful pinch or tug to top things off.
HOLDING THE REINS
Must be done from on top
Ladies, now it’s
your
turn to drive your guy crazy. Leaning back a bit (you can place a palm on his thigh for support), reach behind and caress his testicles while you ride him into the sunset. When you feel he might be about to blow, stop all movement and gently pull the testicles away from his body for a few seconds. The testicles hunch up right before ejaculation, and by pulling them away from his body, you delay his finale until you decide you’re done with him.